crazyml
Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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This is one of the most difficult questions to answer in the whole realm of kink.
Personally I think this hinges on how you define "private" and how you define "consent".
Looking at "private", I'd argue that in any established society or community the moment your actions impinge on the ability of other people within that community then it becomes a public matter. The goal of "Law" is to strike a balance between limiting a person's freedom to do whatever they like in order to protect the freedoms of people as a whole. Frequently we forget this when making laws - But generally we agree that, for example, speed limits around schools are a sensible balance between restricting the driver's freedom to choose their speed and the rights that children have to go home from school without being mown down.
Yep, you can argue an ultra libertatian stance (and in doing so you can call me a socialist) but that's part of the contract inherent in civil society.
So, I believe that as soon as someone's actions begin to cause social harm then they're no longer private. Who the fuck am I to make that judgement? I'm not claiming any authority whatsoever, I'm claiming the right to say what I think and take the consequences.
In the UK, for example, we all pay for health services through our taxes, so I might argue that the moment someone deliberately allows harm to be caused to them that requires some of the tax I pay to be spent fixing it then it's not private and I get a say.
Now... consent. To consent to anything you have to be competent. The most obvious, and arbitrary, factor in determining competence to consent is age. In the UK you can consent to sex at the age of 16, but it's a little complex and to be certain you're best waiting till the person is 18. For example - You can't "consent" to being a prostitute till the age of 18 - So if you pimp your 17 year old gf then you're all set for inclusion in the sex offenders register.
The other element of competence is mental competence - Someone who is mentally impaired may be deemed incapable of consent, and someone who is mentally ill may be deemed incapable of consent. I say "may" because UK case law requires a specific test for competence for each "thing" someone consents to and the standard varies. So someone may be competent to consent to medical treatment, but not competent to consent to have sex.
So we get into that gnarly arena of "what is sane?"
I believe that there are some things that are so fucked up that the desire to have them done to you (or the desire to do them in fact) is evidence of mental incompetence. I say this as someone with absolutely no expertise or qualifications in psychiatry and I make absolutely no claims that my definition is right - I'm just sharing it with you all.
We all draw the lines in different places, plenty of people on these boards (many of whom I respect enormously) will have very very libertarian views where it comes to defining whether a particular desire is in and of itself evidence of insanity while others may have a much narrower definition. I don't know were my definition is on the spectrum (naturally I like to tell myself it's at the "perfect" spot.
But hey! Why don't I throw out a couple of straw persons and give a couple of examples -
Take "Ultraviolence" - by this I mean really fucking hardcore beating - baseball bats, balls being crushed, fingers and ribs broken = I believe that people that enjoy inflicting this are dangerous people who should be locked up in prison. People that enjoy having this inflicted upon them are sick people who need to be locked up in a hospital.
What about the person who wants to have an arm cut off? - MAD
What about the person who likes a slap and the occasional black eye - No problem!
What about the person who loves the idea of branding - Go for it!
The person who likes to be caned so hard that the bruises stay for a week - Fair play!
What about the person who is so lacking in selfworth, so downtrodden so abused that they will "consent" to anything to stay with their partner? Not competent, and in need of help.
In the examples above where I feel that the person isn't capable of consent then I will act - either directly or by reporting it to the relevant authorities. And if I get it wrong and in my very flawed and basic ability to determine someones competence I wrongly conclude that someone is incompetent when they actually are - Well, I'll have to take the consequences of those actions.
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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.
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RE: "Mind your own business"...TPE and privancy - 
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