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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 11:54:02 AM   
Elisabella


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Not everyone can "move more", not everyone will benefit from "moving more" or from "eating less".


The simple science of it is that if you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight.

Calories are energy. If you're not moving as much, you don't need as many calories to keep your body going.

I've heard of giant tumours that weigh a lot, but if the weight is in fat rather than tumour, a person will lose weight by burning more calories than they eat. Anyone who follows a strict, customized diet will lose weight, but really most people don't want to eat a strict healthy diet for the rest of their lives because the food isn't as appetizing.

Some medicines slow the metabolism, some mood disorders make a person want to eat more, but none of that changes the science. If a person used to burn 2000 calories in a day, and is taking a medicine that makes them only burn 1500 in a day, they will still lose weight if they eat fewer than 1500 calories. So yes, "move more, or eat less" will always be the solution. Whether or not being thin is so important that the solution is still worth it is another story.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 11:57:31 AM   
tazzygirl


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Hmmm.. tell that to the person with a trashed knee that they need to get up and move. Or to the person taking steroids for an organ replacement that they simply need to move... or the person with a messed up heart whose own Drs state... exercise in extreme moderation... that they need to move more. Each of those 236 diseases cause weight gain. Some are psychological, some are medical, some are medication induced, some are hereditary... when you see a person, on the streets or even just in a CM profile, can you tell which they are? Or is it easier to sit back and judge based upon what you believe is the underlying cause?

_____________________________

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:02:28 PM   
anniezz338


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Ok then, note to self. Do not post a thread with the word "weight" in it.

LilMichele, big congrats to you. :)

Tazzy, I'm not lumping everyone in one barrel. I wouldn't intentionally target people with credible medical issues. Thank you for all the information.


(in reply to Phoenixpower)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:19:02 PM   
RedMagic1


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If I remember correctly, you have posted that you haven't dated too many kinky men.  If you don't have much real-life experience with dominant men, you may not know exactly what dominance means to you, nor what type of dominance makes you most happy and wet.

Example: one of the best riggers in the SF Bay Area is quite heavy, but he has no trouble dating young nubile Asian ropesluts, because he can send them into subspace like nobody else.  So, Annie... would you, you personally, prefer a man who is a perfect 10 in looks, or a perfect 10 in topping skills?  Most guys, of course, aren't a 10 in either one, so I'm really asking which of the two is more important to you.  ("I want the whole package," is a reasonable answer here, but, of course, if you want to attract the whole package, it helps to be a whole package yourself, so you might want to look at how you can improve your own package, ha ha, to entice the type of man who interests you.)

For some men, their form of dominance is that they try not to deny themselves any pleasure.  Sexually, they will do with a woman whatever suits their fancy -- and, when it comes to food, they will eat whatever they want, whenever they want.  Would you prefer a man like this, or would you prefer a man who believes in deferred gratification?  My sense of you is that you might not know the answer to this question yet.  I don't think there's any way to answer such questions intellectually.  You need to date some, and have experiences that make you either fist-pump or puke, and you figure out where your head and clit are at.

In my own case, I used to be heavy, and I lost a lot of weight, but it's hard to keep it off.  So I needed a woman who had an active lifestyle, because I want to reinforce my recently-gained healthy habits.  And, yeah, I'm all dominant and manly and shit, but it's still easier to do hard things if I have help and support.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:36:22 PM   
anniezz338


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Your right RedMagic, I do not have alot of experience. That's why this place has been helpful in alot of ways. Yes, things can get off kilter in a thread but you can usually see a general theme come out.

No, I cannot expect the perfect person not only because I cannot give that back in return, there just is no such thing. We all have our faults, as we or others may perceive them.

But here is the kicker. How can I be called judgemental when I am a "fat chick". You want to talk about being judged. In the next breath, I feel I asked a valid question for others opinions. Shame on me.

And as the late great John Wayne once said in a movie, "That's the most explaining I have done in years". It was just a question.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:45:58 PM   
agirl


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Although M isn't *overweight*, he eats NOTHING like I do. If he had a different body-type or make up, he'd likely be a bit porky. He wouldn't lose one iota of his dominant nature or his ability to control me or my life if his waistband expanded.

When I first met him he was 2 stone heavier than he is today and was just as capable as he's been over the last 5 years. He eats what he wants to, just because he wants to.....it's not the way I'D eat at all.

I don't really care how he runs HIS life, health-wise, in fact I don't consider it any of my business.......what is my business is how he runs mine.

agirl

(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:49:50 PM   
Elisabella


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Hmmm.. tell that to the person with a trashed knee that they need to get up and move. Or to the person taking steroids for an organ replacement that they simply need to move... or the person with a messed up heart whose own Drs state... exercise in extreme moderation... that they need to move more.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
So yes, "move more, or eat less" will always be the solution.


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Each of those 236 diseases cause weight gain. Some are psychological, some are medical, some are medication induced, some are hereditary... when you see a person, on the streets or even just in a CM profile, can you tell which they are? Or is it easier to sit back and judge based upon what you believe is the underlying cause?


I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong to judge, I'm just disagreeing with this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

not everyone will benefit from "moving more" or from "eating less".


Everyone will lose weight from eating fewer calories than they burn. It's science.

As I said in my previous post: "So yes, "move more, or eat less" will always be the solution. Whether or not being thin is so important that the solution is still worth it is another story. "

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 11/29/2010 12:51:04 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 12:50:12 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
But here is the kicker. How can I be called judgemental when I am a "fat chick". You want to talk about being judged. In the next breath, I feel I asked a valid question for others opinions. Shame on me.

People who spend a lot of time online tend to burn fewer calories per day than people who don't.  Every time a "fat thread" gets posted here, a fair number of regular posters go apeshit -- sometimes because of the "fat people are evil" stuff others are posting, and sometimes because they feel profoundly uncomfortable about the issue.

My only judgment of you is that you seem to be a decent person who is trying to figure things out.

Also, if I've learned one thing in life, it is that there is no such thing as a question that is "just a question."


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 1:00:02 PM   
YoungBlondeSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Hmmm.. tell that to the person with a trashed knee that they need to get up and move. Or to the person taking steroids for an organ replacement that they simply need to move... or the person with a messed up heart whose own Drs state... exercise in extreme moderation... that they need to move more. Each of those 236 diseases cause weight gain. Some are psychological, some are medical, some are medication induced, some are hereditary... when you see a person, on the streets or even just in a CM profile, can you tell which they are? Or is it easier to sit back and judge based upon what you believe is the underlying cause?


i was on Prednisone for over ten years due to a liver transplant, i gained over a hundred pounds. It's slowly creeping down but i've stopped using that as a reason why i'm overweight simply because people don't believe me. They just think fat and lazy. Now that i'm off it (it's been 14 years since my transplant) i'm still having a hell of a time losing the weight. i'm still generally healthy but wish i looked hotter in a swimming suit...slowly but surely i'll get there.

My preference has always been for slimmer/healthier men just because they are more encouraging, helpful and inspiring to get me towards the goal i want to reach. It's hard for me to feel inspired to do anything beneficial if my partner and i both feel like just lazing about after work and he doesn't want to get up and do anything with me.

_____________________________

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Salvador Dali


(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 1:39:10 PM   
agirl


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quote:

My preference has always been for slimmer/healthier men just because they are more encouraging, helpful and inspiring to get me towards the goal i want to reach. It's hard for me to feel inspired to do anything beneficial if my partner and i both feel like just lazing about after work and he doesn't want to get up and do anything with me.


I can understand that, as everyone's motivations vary.

M has ZERO interest in working out or going to the gym yet ensures I do 3 times a week. He knows that I feel horrid if I don't stay fit and he's interested in me *not feeling horrid*.

Just knowing that *I* want to be a certain way means that he'll ensure I DO. It's not HIS goal or aim, so I don't expect him to have the same desire. 

He's creative enough to provide inspiration for it, even if I lack it....lol There are quite a few occasions when I want to *have been* to the gym, but don't want to actually *go* to the gym, and that's where his own brand of *interest* kicks in.

agirl

(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 1:55:32 PM   
Wheldrake


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I agree with Twoshoes - maybe being overweight is partly about self-control, except where there are well-defined medical issues, but it's also about priorities. Maybe there are some superhuman people out there who can exert self-control in every aspect of their lives, but most of us end up staying on top of some things and letting others slide. If you're going to fail to maintain control of something, I would consider body weight to be a better choice than finances, personal relationships, professional obligations, or lots of other possibilities. Besides which, one of the things I actually find very attractive in a dominant is a capacity for self-indulgence, within reasonable limits of course. So for me, if I were looking, a potential dominant's physique just wouldn't be a major concern, as long as she wasn't obviously in heart attack territory or so overweight that she could barely move.



(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 2:10:46 PM   
OrionTheWolf


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Attributing it to simply more intake than output is correct, in a simplistic, easy-to-judge manner. But thats not the whole story. A world wide industry has been built around the assumption that if people simply moved more, and ate less, than the problem would be corrected. If that were the case, the total number of people who are obese would dramatically decline.


You avoided the question.

"A lack of energy balance most often causes overweight and obesity. Energy balance means that your energy IN equals your energy OUT. "

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/obe/obe_causes.html

quote:


The above list is 236 conditions that have been shown to lead to weight gain. Might be worth a read. I never said obesity cannot be attributed to intake vs output. But to judge everyone with that view point is wrong.


Right and wrong are moral decisions. To make a generalized statement is a different story.

"The obesity epidemic in America has been a widely publicized issue for years. Nearly two out of every three Americans are overweight or obese, says the Surgeon General. There are many reasons for obesity epidemic; however, the predominant variables are things that can be adjusted on an individual basis, through lifestyle changes.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/262489-the-leading-causes-of-obesity-in-america/

"At its simplest, obesity can develop if a person's calorie intake — the food he eats — exceeds the amount of calories used. Excess calories are stored as body fat, leading to weight gain and sometimes obesity.

Factors influencing the rise of obesity in America (and worldwide) include dietary changes to energy-rich foods with high sugar and fat content. This trend is coupled with an increase in sedentary jobs and activities. People are generally consuming more calories, but moving less. "

http://www.healthtree.com/articles/obesity/

Tazzy, yeah there are many reasons for it, but what are the leading causes? That was the question. If the leading causes is dietary and activity, then of course the generalized opinion of anyone that is obese will be a lack of self control, which studies show is often the case.

Now then you can do your normal circlular debate if you want, but I don't play that game. You already avoided the direct question, and answered with a different one, so it is obvious that you have a dog in this fight.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:01:58 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Oh goody, a fat thread. It's been ages...


Yes indeed. I was getting really bored with the money domme threads. Nothing like a rousing fat thread to get the blood pumping!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:03:49 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
So yes, "move more, or eat less" will always be the solution.
Everyone will lose weight from eating fewer calories than they burn. It's science.

As I said in my previous post: "So yes, "move more, or eat less" will always be the solution. Whether or not being thin is so important that the solution is still worth it is another story. "


Your science is flawed, you do not take into account the body its self. when presented with too few calories will store those calories regardless due to the body believing its in a period of starvation. To survive as LONG as possible the body its self will shut down function of the body and use as little calories as it can in order to get the body through the period of lean times. Its been happening for thousands of years.... If your saying YOUR smarter then Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years of proof to the contrary. Then you have bigger issues.....  I used to maintain an 800 calorie diet a day, i did it for over a year. I was fairly active during that time, burning more then  the 800 i ate. i still gained weight during that time.

Its not that simple... move more or eat less isnt what makes ya loose weight, Its move more in periods of time meaning dont go from walking say a tenth of a mile every day to walking three miles. walk two tenths then three then four.....it also means be VERY conscious of WHAT you eat....If you eat carbs like potatoes... as your calorie intake... your going to gain weight, however if you go for the more heathly carbs likes those in bread and in pasta you will loose weight..... because the potato carbs like to store them selves, the bread and pasta carbs, like to burn themselves.

ALSO you need to take into an account of WHAT your eating less of, if your going to choose to eat less, the best way to go is to eat less carbs, but in moderation idiots who cut out all carbs arent going to loose weight....but if you go from having say 8 carbs a day to 6 then to 4... you will be more successful.

Its not as simple as move more and eat less, if it was that simple, people wouldnt be fat, Ive been working on loosing my junk for YEARS, Ive been fat since I was a teenager, I with the above statement of move more eat less would never loose weight... EVER..... I went to prove this point with out food for a week...I gained 6 pounds. I sure as fuck ATE less because I ate NOTHING....... but with eating nothing I couldnt move, there for couldnt burn what was stored..... Every diet in the world is centered around move more eat less...

And how many fat people do we have? Oh thats right per Orion 2 out of 3.... in america so obviously what you are saying doesnt work... it doesnt work for a reason... that reason is its not that fucking simple......


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:14:59 PM   
DesFIP


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My weight gain is due to hypothyroidism. My thyroid is not controlled to where it needs to be in order to lose the weight. It can't be. If the thyroid is tightly controlled, my generalized anxiety disorder is out of control. Anyone who demanded I start having multiple anxiety attacks daily just so I looked good, is not someone I care to be with.

The Man's knee is not what it was back when he could walk four miles daily. It probably never will. Announcing that this means he isn't competent at decision making is ludicrous.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:27:25 PM   
subkatslut


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Tazzy, yeah there are many reasons for it, but what are the leading causes? That was the question. If the leading causes is dietary and activity, then of course the generalized opinion of anyone that is obese will be a lack of self control, which studies show is often the case.



Well I do think it's far more complex then even that even if it is the generalized opinion.

What that implies is that someone of normal weight has good self control and though they might they are just as likely not to.

Normal weight does not imply health. It does not imply good eating habits or good exercise habits or good choices. Much like being overweight does not imply the opposite.

The OP made a statement based on pictures and her thoughts and asked for others opinions. While she is entitled to her preferences her logic of extra weight=lack of self control is faulty and that is what some have responded to.

I take no issue with someone who has a preference for people of a certain body type/size. We all have our preferences. In my case it's grey hair that totally turns me off and if there is a body type that I dislike more then others it would actually be muscular guys...like body builder types. A pair of guns and washboard abs are not attractive imo. But that says nothing of their actual self control either.








< Message edited by subkatslut -- 11/29/2010 3:32:40 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:39:40 PM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subkatslut




I take no issue with someone who has a preference for people of a certain body type/size. We all have our preferences. In my case it's grey hair that totally turns me off and if there is a body type that I dislike more then others it would actually be muscular guys...like body builder types. A pair of guns and washboard abs are not attractive imo.



of course i'm not the OP, but to suggest that it all boils down to someone having a preference for a particular body type is just a bit condescending, imo.

one thing that's important to me in the man i call Master is a naturally dominant personality. there are myriad qualities and signs of a naturally dominant personality, and for me self-discipline and control would be among those. the fact is, someone who is significantly overweight (keyword there, significantly), is more than a little likely to lack those specific qualities, and least to the degree which many would find typical in a dominant-natured person. does that mean that this is always the case? of course not. does it mean that a significant weight problem cannot be caused and hampered by a myriad of legitimate medical issues? of course not. but to assume that such exceptional circumstances are typically or even commonly the case is to just be plain unrealistic.

and speaking for myself personally, it is the dominant nature which attracts me to a man far more than any particular physical characteristics. i'm not physically repelled or turned off by someone who happens to be 50 pounds overweight (heck, the bigger he is, the smaller and more delicate i feel underneath him! ). but i am turned off by the lack of self-discipline that such a physical state may indicate.


< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 11/29/2010 3:40:58 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:39:51 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

And how many fat people do we have? Oh thats right per Orion 2 out of 3.... in america so obviously what you are saying doesnt work... it doesnt work for a reason... that reason is its not that fucking simple......



It's not that simple because it's not as simple as eat less calories than you burn.  The types of calories consumed is a major factor here.  Protein and fiber is better than fat and simple carbs.  People don't eat the right things, which is the biggest contributor to the lack of health.

My owner is slightly overweight. This is not indicative of an inability to control or master himself.  God knows, in looking at what paths he has had to travel in life and what he's done with his life despite the obstacles, I'd say he does a pretty damn good job.  The fact that he's not fully educated on diet and exercise is not an issue in the way he masters me.  In fact, what he does instead is taps into my own personal knowledge and uses it, in this case.  I've lost over 70 pounds after years of wondering why I couldn't lose weight. So I educated myself, got on a program, and found success.

It's a smart man who will utilize the tools available to him.  In this case, that tool is me.

That said, I have known men who were strong and in control of most all areas of their lives, but who were obese.  I am convinced that obesity is a symptom of a bigger problem, and until someone is able (and wants to) overcome the bigger problem, they're always going to struggle with a weight problem.

So I guess the question to the OP is whether or not it's acceptable for a dominant/master to have any hangups, or is a mental/emotional hurdle an indication of an inability to effectively dominate?


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:47:12 PM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida



That said, I have known men who were strong and in control of most all areas of their lives, but who were obese.  I am convinced that obesity is a symptom of a bigger problem, and until someone is able (and wants to) overcome the bigger problem, they're always going to struggle with a weight problem.

So I guess the question to the OP is whether or not it's acceptable for a dominant/master to have any hangups, or is a mental/emotional hurdle an indication of an inability to effectively dominate?



i agree with you that many times obesity is a symptom of a larger problem (the same would go for drug and other addictions, large debts, etc.). the types of problems that i personally would expect a dominant-natured person to be determined to overcome...to be miserable and frustrated until they reached a point where they able to regain control. but if that's not the case...if they are content in such a place, or for whatever reason unwilling to battle their issues head-on...then yes i would question many things about them, including their dominance.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 3:58:30 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i agree with you that many times obesity is a symptom of a larger problem (the same would go for drug and other addictions, large debts, etc.). the types of problems that i personally would expect a dominant-natured person to be determined to overcome...to be miserable and frustrated until they reached a point where they able to regain control. but if that's not the case...if they are content in such a place, or for whatever reason unwilling to battle their issues head-on...then yes i would question many things about them, including their dominance.



You touched on (what I bolded) my point here.  This thread is limited to being overweight, but there are so many other areas in a person's life they may not have under control.  It's easy to look at someone who's hang up is seen physically, but to totally overlook a hang up that is not tangible.  Then again it's easy to look at a larger person and decide, without really knowing, that they must not have their shit together.  What if that person has already lost 100 pounds and has his/her weight fully under control?  What if, given other things going on, maintaining a higher weight is their best option at the time?  We don't really know what's going on with someone until we know them.  To simply look at someone and decide they don't have their shit together is not always a fair assessment, in my opinion.  It's one thing to say a certain body type is not attractive to them, but that's not what's being said here.

Then again, when I see pictures that have a complete mess in the background, I make my own assessments, too.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 40
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