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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:08:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMichele
So yeah, it's a sign, but it's not the only one or the deciding factor in any way. Not to me.

This is pretty much my thought. We all are mortal and can live happily with flawed mortal partners- but most people want someone who has reasonable control over their eating habits, finances, emotions, relationships, etc.

The key word being reasonable- extreme dysfunction in any area is a red flag that this person may be dealing with underlying issues.

(in reply to LilMichele)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:10:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

That's scratch crust and all BTW. *Grins

You are truly evil. In the best of ways.

Ok, pie and cobbler - party at Icarys'!

I guess we should stop derailing here but....damn. Blackberries. Crust. Whew.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:14:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

That's scratch crust and all BTW. *Grins

You are truly evil. In the best of ways.

Ok, pie and cobbler - party at Icarys'!

I guess we should stop derailing here but....damn. Blackberries. Crust. Whew.

He's just a tease!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:31:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

That's scratch crust and all BTW. *Grins

You are truly evil. In the best of ways.

Ok, pie and cobbler - party at Icarys'!

I guess we should stop derailing here but....damn. Blackberries. Crust. Whew.

He's just a tease!

Last derail and I'm out for the night.

*grins..Night

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Icarys -- 11/29/2010 7:32:49 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 8:26:40 PM

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angel, very well put and true. Stress was my excuse and when I reached a certain number on the scale, well, stress wasn't even a good enough excuse. There were no more excuses.

No, weight doesn't make the Master/Dom. But I feel it's an ingredient, especially if the overweight is just sheer neglect. If he chooses to be obese, then it probably just wouldn't work for me. I've got 40lbs left to go myself. I can't be around someone eating twinkies and rocky road ice cream watching tv every night....lol. I would really enjoy an active man.

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 8:35:05 PM

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Other people are going to be feel differently about this. But I would not be with someone who would dismiss someone's weight issues as a complete lack of self-control. I struggle with my weight and the reasons for my struggle are complicated and private. Anyone who would dismiss it so easily simply isn't worth my time.

If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

When I am thin, I deliberately screen out others who dismiss people so easily - like I screen out people who are rude to waiters. It's one thing to simply not be attracted to someone. It's another to presume you know something about a stranger based on weight.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 8:36:24 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to anniezz338)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 8:39:14 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Other people are going to be feel differently about this. But I would not be with someone who would dismiss someone's weight issues as a complete lack of self-control. I struggle with my weight and the reasons for my struggle are complicated and private. Anyone who would dismiss it so easily simply isn't worth my time.

If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

When I am thin, I deliberately screen out others who dismiss people so easily - like I screen out people who are rude to waiters. It's one thing to simply not be attracted to someone. It's another to presume you know something about a stranger based on weight.

_____________________________

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 8:44:48 PM

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I'll reiterate someone else's sentiment from upstream... oh goody, a fat thread! :)

I'm a heavyset guy, myself, so needless to say I've struggled with this issue. For me, the biggest obstacle I face is that it really *does* take a LOT of work to lose a significant amount of weight. I mean, for someone like me (and I won't lie, I'm in the 3-400lb range), I would basically have to start eating salads all the time and working out several hours a week. As lazy as I can be, I really do think that I could handle the exercise... it would be a chore, but I could get into the groove eventually.

For me, it's the "watching what I eat" part that poses the most difficulty. I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but when you're a big guy... not that many people want to be friends with you, and certainly women don't want to give you the time of day. And there's a certain amount of low self-esteem and depression that goes along with that, any which way you slice it. Sad as it is, eating tends to be one of the few things that gives you any pleasure. And now everyone's telling you you're supposed to GIVE UP one of the few things that makes you happy, for the sake of (theoretically) being happier down the line? That's a tough sell, emotionally speaking.

For me, just relationship-wise in general... I get that the weight is a HUGE strike against me in terms of attracting a mate. What I do wish, however, is that it would at least be taken into consideration alongside other things, rather than used as an excuse to reject me out of hand. If a girl adds up my positive and my negative qualities and decides I'm not worth the effort, fine. She could very justifiably do that. But most women don't do that. They never take the time to get to know anything else about me. I'm fat, and that's all they need to know. THAT is what I find the most offensive, hurtful, and disheartening.

Just want to say that I know this isn't the sentiment the lady who started the thread wanted to express, by the way. Just thought I would put my two cents in on the "weight" issue in general. Thanks for listening!

(in reply to anniezz338)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 8:59:09 PM

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Atropos, I completely understand. I was depressed because I was big, so I sought comfort food which made me more depressed so I ate more comfort food....it was a merry go round.

And I have been on both sides of the fence. I didn't gain my weight until I hit my 40's. When I was huge, I was rejected on lots of levels, especially the dating scene. I finally hated being fat more than I hated eating right and exercising.

I just need some awesome Dom to cure me of my evil drive-thru ways :P

(in reply to Atropos19)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:05:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

I just need some awesome Dom to cure me of my evil drive-thru ways :P

To each their own but I preferred finding an awesome Dom who loves me and finds me sexy regardless of my weight. Val chased after me at 200, he didn't chase after any more at 140 and he doesn't chase after me any less at 175 where I'm currently struggling.

I like knowing he wants to ravage me at any weight and leaving the 'curing' to weight watchers and personal trainers.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to anniezz338)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:27:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

I just need some awesome Dom to cure me of my evil drive-thru ways :P

To each their own but I preferred finding an awesome Dom who loves me and finds me sexy regardless of my weight. Val chased after me at 200, he didn't chase after any more at 140 and he doesn't chase after me any less at 175 where I'm currently struggling.

I like knowing he wants to ravage me at any weight and leaving the 'curing' to weight watchers and personal trainers.

on an intimate and romantic level i can certainly understand wanting your partner to accept and desire you no matter your weight. but there are certain qualities i need in a Dominant partner, and certain things i need from that partner in a relationship. and it may sound hypocritical to some, but i do view it as part of the job of the man who owns me to help me get my own um...stuff...together. for him to pinpoint the areas where i've failed, neglected or generally screwed up, and guide me properly to address those issues. in order for me to have any confidence in his ability to do that, i have to know he is self-disciplined, i need to know that his dominance is expressed in how he manages his life and yes, even in the way he cares for his body.

but then we all have different needs in relationships. this is why i need a Master as opposed to a Dominant mate, and why my Master is a Father figure and not a partner. i need to be able to look up to him, admire him, worship him and depend on him utterly. i need his guidance and direction. it's a very different dynamic than two people coming from relatively equal places of mutual growth and fulfillment, albeit from different sides of the kneel.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:28:03 PM

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I simply adore you, AS!

I dont like guys with blue eyes. Something about them squick me out to no end. Think it had something to do with spegetti westerns my dad used to make me watch.

Im a big woman. My weight problem is all my own fault. I know many people whose weight problems are NOT their own faults. But, better believe some skinny ass twit will be telling them... eat less and move more.

_____________________________

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Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:39:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMichele
So yeah, it's a sign, but it's not the only one or the deciding factor in any way. Not to me.

This is pretty much my thought. We all are mortal and can live happily with flawed mortal partners- but most people want someone who has reasonable control over their eating habits, finances, emotions, relationships, etc.

The key word being reasonable- extreme dysfunction in any area is a red flag that this person may be dealing with underlying issues.

I was thinking about this thread on my way into work. One of the girls i work with is exotically beautiful.. and a total mental mess. She brags about how she keeps the weight off... by snorting whatever she can get her hands on and drinking for days straight. She swears it kills any appetite she may have.

I can just see myself turning from the fatty i am into the psychotic mess she has become. No thank you. I prefer my fat cells.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:43:19 PM

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prop, I'm not sure you quite have a bead on the differences in our relationships - beyond certain clear differences in practices - and, quite frankly, neither do I. I expect him to pinpoint my shortcomings. I don't expect him to do the work for me or love me or desire me any less when I struggle in either direction. He supports me as I learn to do it on my own to make me stronger.

I have no expectations on his body for his dominance will always be there. It will not fade if he gains pounds.

Edited to add: FYI - Val is also a father figure to me as well. Our relationship and what we are to each other is... nearly impossible to explain here and I've long given up trying. We simply are what we are and people can make of that what they will.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 9:46:50 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:44:04 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

People have fought the battle of the bulge for centuries, however, its only recently its become an epidemic. There is more than just medical issues at bat with regard to that. Until people stop making excuses, it won't be changed.

Thats because until the turn of the 1920's or so being fat was a sign of wealth, and there wasnt enough readily available food for people to become "obese" those who were FAT... were thought of as the most prominent and the most attractive, it wasnt again until food could be easily processed that "skinny people" were hot and fat people werent. See, It took skill to be fat prior to the 20th century it took money and luxury.

It wasnt until america decided lets make everyone believe everyone should be no longer curvy or healthy in weight lets make a million dollar market on the fact people are fat.....
.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:50:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

People have fought the battle of the bulge for centuries, however, its only recently its become an epidemic. There is more than just medical issues at bat with regard to that. Until people stop making excuses, it won't be changed.

Thats because until the turn of the 1920's or so being fat was a sign of wealth, and there wasnt enough readily available food for people to become "obese" those who were FAT... were thought of as the most prominent and the most attractive, it wasnt again until food could be easily processed that "skinny people" were hot and fat people werent. See, It took skill to be fat prior to the 20th century it took money and luxury.

It wasnt until america decided lets make everyone believe everyone should be no longer curvy or healthy in weight lets make a million dollar market on the fact people are fat.....
.

Yup.

Skinny meant underfed, overworked and ugly. It wasn't a battle of the bulge, it was a battle TO bulge. And, with sex being more accepted, chocolate is the new sin. The forbidden fruit.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 9:55:28 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:54:42 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Yup.

Skinny meant underfed, overworked and ugly. It wasn't a battle of the bulge, to was a battle TO bulge. And, with sex being more accepted, chocolate is the new sin. The forbidden fruit.

Well lets say you and me as have a sinful night of chocolate breasts and tongues and we can leave the others out of the party ^_^

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 9:55:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

prop, I'm not sure you quite have a bead on the differences in our relationships - beyond certain clear differences in practices - and, quite frankly, neither do I. I expect him to pinpoint my shortcomings. I don't expect him to do the work for me or love me or desire me any less when I struggle in either direction. He supports me as I learn to do it on my own to make me stronger.

I have no expectations on his body for his dominance will always be there. It will not fade if he gains pounds.

Edited to add: FYI - Val is also a father figure to me as well. Our relationship and what we are to each other is... nearly impossible to explain here and I've long given up trying. We simply are what we are and people can make of that what they will.

well shame on me for making assumptions! *smacks hand*

from some of your postings over time for whatever reason i got the impression that the two of you, while having a very clear Dominant and submissive dynamic, related to each other more as partners than as Big Person and little person. but clearly i was mistaken...my apologies. but i definitely understand that it can be difficult to completely define the dynamics of one's relationship to others. there are aspects of my own relationship i wouldn't even attempt to explain here or any other online venue. it would just get wayyyy too confusing for folks, lol.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 10:01:18 PM

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btw...i just told Daddy about this thread, and asked him "how would you feel about yourself if you gained 50 pounds?" of course i reminded him that i would still find him hot

...after laughing at me, he said, "totally out of control. just completely out of control." and with his personality, that would just be unacceptable to him.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 10:02:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

well shame on me for making assumptions! *smacks hand*

from some of your postings over time for whatever reason i got the impression that the two of you, while having a very clear Dominant and submissive dynamic, related to each other more as partners than as Big Person and little person. but clearly i was mistaken...my apologies. but i definitely understand that it can be difficult to completely define the dynamics of one's relationship to others. there are aspects of my own relationship i wouldn't even attempt to explain here or any other online venue. it would just get wayyyy too confusing for folks, lol.

No apologies needed, truly. When you and I first encountered each other on the boards it was a long time ago. I was about twenty and Valyraen was around 21. We've grown and so has our relationship. Our views have changed on many things. We are... we are many things to each other. I do not identify as a little nor he as a big, nor do we truly identify as dominant vs. master or slave vs. submissive... We... we find that we simply can not label what we are in a manner that pleases us. There are times I am a child and he the father. Times where I am lost and he the shepard. Times where I the slave and he the master...

We find it easiest, in casual conversation with others, to say that we are dominant and submissive but we prefer to simply say that I am his girl and he my owner. Hopefully this made an ounce of sense and you can imagine me talking with me with my hands to myself over the keyboard as I try to find the best way to put it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2010 10:03:36 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)

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