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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 4:29:48 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

You touched on (what I bolded) my point here.  This thread is limited to being overweight, but there are so many other areas in a person's life they may not have under control.  It's easy to look at someone who's hang up is seen physically, but to totally overlook a hang up that is not tangible.  Then again it's easy to look at a larger person and decide, without really knowing, that they must not have their shit together.  What if that person has already lost 100 pounds and has his/her weight fully under control?  What if, given other things going on, maintaining a higher weight is their best option at the time?  We don't really know what's going on with someone until we know them.  To simply look at someone and decide they don't have their shit together is not always a fair assessment, in my opinion.  It's one thing to say a certain body type is not attractive to them, but that's not what's being said here.

Then again, when I see pictures that have a complete mess in the background, I make my own assessments, too.



yes, this thread focuses only on weight. we don't know exactly what makes weight stand out to the OP, as opposed to all the other things we mentioned which may indicate a lack of control or dominance. maybe you are correct in that because it is so visually "out there" it's easier to pick apart. however maybe those other areas are just as significant to the OP, but this particular subject just makes for a juicier topic. who knows? and does it really matter? it does seem that many people get a bit touchy when the weight thing comes up in whatever context, and while i understand the sensitivity (goodness knows i'm over-sensitive in more than a few areas!), in many cases it's not really called for, this thread being one of them.

it's true that digging deeper is required in order to accurately judge certain things about people. for instance, if all we know about a particular individual is that they are $100,000 in debt, we could assume it's likely that person lacks self-discipline and hence the dominant nature so many of us submissives find desirable in a partner. however, what if it turns out that person is in debt because they took on the full burden of a very ill parent's medical care? what if they sacrificed any and everything in order to do everything humanly possible to help their loved one? most of us would find that quite honorable, and quite a wonderful quality for a Dominant to have, but we'll never learn that at first glance.

the reality is that first impressions count for a lot, and when you're looking at profiles (as i'm gathering the OP had), then that's what you're working with...a first impression. and i don't believe it's necessarily a sign of a bad or superficial person when you reach certain conclusions based on a first impression.

(btw, messy backgrounds squick me out too...and tell me all i need to know, frankly! ooooh look at me, being all judgmental )

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 4:54:40 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

yes, this thread focuses only on weight. we don't know exactly what makes weight stand out to the OP, as opposed to all the other things we mentioned which may indicate a lack of control or dominance. maybe you are correct in that because it is so visually "out there" it's easier to pick apart. however maybe those other areas are just as significant to the OP, but this particular subject just makes for a juicier topic. who knows? and does it really matter? it does seem that many people get a bit touchy when the weight thing comes up in whatever context, and while i understand the sensitivity (goodness knows i'm over-sensitive in more than a few areas!), in many cases it's not really called for, this thread being one of them.


LOL maybe it does just make a juicier topic.  And maybe there are other areas which flag the OP.  People do get touchy about weight, though, although I'm not one to say what is or isn't called for.  I do know that as a formerly obese woman, society has a loathing for obesity, in general.  I am treated far differently now than I was when I was obese.  I am spoken to differently, looked at differently, and regarded differently.  I'm still somewhat overweight, but I don't experience the outward disgust by people that I did when I was obese.  It's a strange world we live in, lol.

quote:


it's true that digging deeper is required in order to accurately judge certain things about people. for instance, if all we know about a particular individual is that they are $100,000 in debt, we could assume it's likely that person lacks self-discipline and hence the dominant nature so many of us submissives find desirable in a partner. however, what if it turns out that person is in debt because they took on the full burden of a very ill parent's medical care? what if they sacrificed any and everything in order to do everything humanly possible to help their loved one? most of us would find that quite honorable, and quite a wonderful quality for a Dominant to have, but we'll never learn that at first glance.

Exactly.  Excellent point.  This is why I don't like making such judgments until I know some background behind what I'm seeing.

quote:


the reality is that first impressions count for a lot, and when you're looking at profiles (as i'm gathering the OP had), then that's what you're working with...a first impression. and i don't believe it's necessarily a sign of a bad or superficial person when you reach certain conclusions based on a first impression.


You're right about that reality.  I realize this is human nature. But that doesn't mean I agree with the OP that someone who's obese can't be a good dominant. She also put people who don't list their weight in that category.  I'm simply disagreeing with her, and stating why.  I'm not saying she's bad or superficial, just that I think that way of thinking can be limiting.

quote:


(btw, messy backgrounds squick me out too...and tell me all i need to know, frankly! ooooh look at me, being all judgmental )


Ha.  Hey we all judge.  And I'm perfectly OK with deciding that someone who doesn't care or notice how messy the background of his picture is, probably doesn't have a home I'd want to hang out in.  Then again, I'm a neat freak.  I'd just as soon he not post a picture at all, then post a picture of a messy home.  Imagine all that extra cleaning I'd have to do, LOL.


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:03:07 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		It is an opinion also backed by data. Yes there are people that have medical issues that make it so they cannot, or have a difficult time losing weight. If you compare the amount of people that say this, to the studies, you will find that someone are not being factual. Yeah it often, but not always, comes down to a matter of self control and discipline.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subkatslut

Well I do think it's far more complex then even that even if it is the generalized opinion.





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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:05:56 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		You know what's ironic, people throughout history have all the "medical issues" people now list as reasons they can't lose weight and yet its just recently, when all these issues are now being "treated" or identified and diagnosed that obesity has sky rocketed.  Sorry, but i think for MOST people, being obese is a choice and not a medical issue.  People simply like the idea of blaming something other than themselves.  Its an excuse and MOST people who use it as an excuse know they are.  I am sure many people will get their panties in a twist because of what i have said here, but moving more and eating less is a huge concept MOST of us do not do any longer. 

This excuse people use is why people get comfortable in their obesity because it is HARD, its hard to get moving again.  It is hard to take those initial first steps and then more and more.  Sorry but this excuse has got to stop.  Are there people who really DO have issues, yes and i am not making light of those issues.  But the MAJORITY of overweight people are so because they decide its easier to be overweight than to take the time (which is hard to find for many) and pain (its HARD to get into exercising when you haven't for years) and the monotany (which in this day and age getting on the cardio machines and such is boring at times). 

It irritates me when people act like all these "issues" that cause obesity is being jumped on saying yes yes yes its not MY fault.  These issues have been around long before the obesity issue came to light, and yet the obesity issue has risen faster than people can blink -- not only in adults but in children.    Until people stop trying to blame medical issues, there won't be any reversal of the statistics.   If these medical issues didn't cause rampant obesity in history then there is NO WAY people can blame the majority of obesity on the medical issues now being thrown about.

All in all, i could not be a slave to a Man who was overweight and out of shape because to me, his physical shape is something he should also have mastery over -- as part of mastering himself.  If he can't master that part of him (now, don't get me wrong, i don't expect every man to be in perfect shape - but let's be honest many times its a decision they make not to have control over it), how can he master someone else and maintain my respect because he will do one of two things -- hold me to expectations he doesn't hold himself or two won't hold me to expectations of being in shape and of proportionate weight. 

Yes, there are medical issues out there that have people struggling to lose weight -- but for the majority of people these issues ARE able to be overcome, the issue is people don't want to put in the work it will require to overcome the medical issues to achieve the weight loss and to more so get in shape. 

People have fought the battle of the bulge for centuries, however, its only recently its become an epidemic.  There is more than just medical issues at bat with regard to that.  Until people stop making excuses, it won't be changed.

As for bummed knees, well let's see there is the WHOLE rest of the body wherein you can excerise as long as to stablize the knee -- i know this because i did it every year in High School training for the basketball season.  As for bummed hearts i have yet to see where a doctor tells the patient ohhh don't go for a walk.  I also know that the PT of heart patients does have them working out.     Sorry but in the end its only excuses. 

Maybe it doesn't get it off FAST, but if you hit it daily and do a little more daily, it does come off.  But it requires changing your mind and making lifestyle changes, it requires listening to your body and not make excuses for your body, and it requires hard work, determination, finding time, and learning how your body reacts to certain foods.    No one said its easy but it is doable for 99.5% of people who are obese and overweight.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 11/29/2010 5:09:25 PM >

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(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:06:25 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Suze Orman correctly predicted Biggest Loser winners based on their credit scores. Her theory was that people who had their credit under control had the aptitude/discipline for getting their weight under control.


Fascinating. I'd long suspected there was a link between my overeating and my overspending.

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(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:14:51 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I find it amazing and laughable that so many make a personal judgment based on some facts, disregarding other facts and use it all to gauge most all situations in the same regard. lol

I was going to give some facts and truths, medical history and such... but it simply isn't worth it considering that those that are doing this will remain where they are and will refuse to believe that not all who are saying they are not at fault, are guilty of delusion or denial in a lack of personal accountability. Then there is always the aspect of... why the fuck would we need to justify ourselves to you?

There are medical conditions, medications and very complicated situations that you in no way will willingly understand if you can so readily dismiss all people who claim to have a medical situation you aren't privy to details on, that will have a cause and effect outside the normal circumstances and your ignorant claims, although factual in some situations, prove you are closed minded and opinionated over a topic or personal situation you cannot know.


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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:20:07 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		Masterly ability = Having enough power to stop after the 5th twinkie.

Annie..Ya look a little portly yourself...How can you expect to give control over if you don't have it yourself..some shit like that.

Joking aside: Show me a person that says they don't have at least one issue in their lives that they have difficulty in and I'll show you a liar.

Long live fat bitches.

I'm off to make a blackberry pie from scratch..any of you fat bitches want some?


< Message edited by Icarys -- 11/29/2010 5:22:40 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:22:52 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Gee, I wonder when they started counting fat people and when they had the medical knowledge available today or currently to know from which the fat people came? I also wonder if all studies and data considered more than over eating, mobility issues and those medical situations that slip through the cracks... or deep valleys of medical and research lacks/failures and all considerations that might change the outcome?

That wouldn't be so profitable to them to show where the lacks are... would it?




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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:36:10 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

People who spend a lot of time online tend to burn fewer calories per day than people who don't.


Indeed.

Choosing to push away from the computer and head to the gym.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:39:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, I love Redmagic, but... some could spend a lot of time sitting at a computer, but might also spend a lot of time running, being very active and use their down time for computer use. So a majority or minority may do one thing or another, it doesn't mean that all are and that off computer time isn't put to good use.

I happen to know that my computer use at one time was far unequal to the time I spent fucking those calories off and I lost weight. (Meaning that I was on the computer far more than my fucking time.) Prove me wrong! hehe

< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/29/2010 5:43:58 PM >

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:46:59 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		I have a home gym if any of you fat bitches wanna use it? You can have some pie after you get done too!

I like BBW's myself...just not the "She's a huge bitch" kind or plain bitch for that matter.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 5:52:26 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Joking aside: Show me a person that says they don't have at least one issue in their lives that they have difficulty in and I'll show you a liar.




Too true.

And damn...blackberry pie?  Home made?  Really?  *drool*


_____________________________

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(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:06:03 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Joking aside: Show me a person that says they don't have at least one issue in their lives that they have difficulty in and I'll show you a liar.




Too true.

And damn...blackberry pie?  Home made?  Really?  *drool*


You betcha..Wanna piece?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:09:56 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		Fast reply~
 
We all have personal demons that we struggle with.  Simply because someone is a dom/me doesn't mean that they don't have those same struggles. I am personally looking for someone to push me, to help motivate me to loose some weight. That doesn't mean he has to be slim and buff. It means he has to know how to push me, to know how to learn what "I" need to accomplish my goal and help me along that path.
 
Although the weight gain over the past 4 years was not due to me over eating, it is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Up until 5 yrs ago I weighed 120 lbs at the most. Then I lost everything, even though I was working 70 hours a week I was barely getting by. I made to much to qualify for any assistance but I didn't make enough to do what had to be done. So I got into the habit of not eating, of simply nibbling enough so my kids saw me eat something.  In reality I was starving myself, not out of choice but.... my body got used to it none the less.
 
Fast foward to 4 years ago, I moved and became more finacially stable however that eating pattern is still there. Infact, I no longer get hungry. I have to force myself to eat. Then you add in my medications all of which have weight gain as a possible side affect. I am now at 182 lbs, granted in September I was at 198lbs. I do 5 miles on a tredmille Monday - Friday THAT is all my doctors will allow me to do outside of aquatic arobics at this point. My doctors remind me every time I get on the scale of how far I have come, how much progress I have made in becoming a healthier me.
 
Until about 5months ago I HATED what I looked like in the mirror. I thought I was ugly, hell hideous. I didn't think I deserved affection or love because of my weight. Now I love me, over weight and all. I LOVE ME. That is what I want from my owner. THAT is what is important for my dom to do, love me enough to do what is best for ME. Not for him, not for the woman down the street but ME.
 
 

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 11/29/2010 6:11:43 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:10:26 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys


You betcha..Wanna piece?



Oh I absolutely do!

(Homemade blackberry is my all time fav)


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:39:14 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys


You betcha..Wanna piece?



Oh I absolutely do!

(Homemade blackberry is my all time fav)


Mine too! That and blueberry.

I hope I didn't put too many in this time...

That's scratch crust and all BTW. *Grins


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:48:01 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Nice apron Icarys.

Like the vid better.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 6:53:24 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		dang blackberries are my weakness...but i prefer cobbler to pie (more juice! )



(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:01:06 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Nice apron Icarys.

Like the vid better.

Lol.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/29/2010 7:02:21 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

dang blackberries are my weakness...but i prefer cobbler to pie (more juice! )




I make a mean cobbler too.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 60
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