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What dominant women endure online - a halfway clueless ... - 1/6/2011 3:17:25 AM   
omkfY


Posts: 104
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: State of Jefferson
Status: offline 		You've probably all read threads with tips & advice on how to contact dominant women (such as: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057095/tm.htm ) and you almost certainly have read hundreds of complaints here about how poorly men behave on the other side. But if you, like me, bristled defensively at the idea that a) most men are completely clueless and b) that one can truly get overwhelmed from the quantity of new mail -- I have bad news: they are and you can. So in the spirit of all the helpful threads I read while lurking, here is my perspective after creating a generic Domme profile & leaving it up for 24 hours.


How it started:

Despite reading over and over how annoying one line messages are, I still occasionally sent short, impersonal messages. In my mind, a nearly blank (usually new) nearby profile that is "online now" begged for a quick cmail conveying a warm welcome and extending all the hospitality that one could offer a complete stranger online. Something like:

"Hello and welcome! It's nice to see another local face. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of service."

I thought such messages were nice/harmless, but, even though these were rarely successful at initiating conversation, I was still surprised when someone replied recently telling me just how annoying it came off. After some additional correspondence, I decided to see for myself just what a new dominant female profile endures.



After 24 hours, this profile had:

91 full views
35 unsolicited cmails
5 unsolicited chat requests


If ladies reading this are thinking "yeah, so what?" -- in 18+ months my own profile has had ~25 full views, ~10 unsolicited cmails (8 from pros), and 1 unsolicited chat request. I suspect that is typical for a forum-lurking male sub...



Anyway, while taking the 10 minutes to fill out a full profile, I left up the text "just exploring possibilities for now." In those 10 minutes I received the following mail:


1) "how's the hunt?" -- along with an unsolicited picture from someone 750+ miles away
2) "possibility #1"
3) a cut & paste message informing me of his "stats" along with 5+ paragraphs of I am, I like, I have, I, I, I, etc
4) "hi" -- from a profile with a facesitting avatar cartoon, HNG-ish name, and 750+ miles away
5) a wall of text informing me exactly how a dominant is supposed to correct deviant male behavior and offering to teach me more if I reply
6) "what possibilities are you exploring"


Now #6 isn't too far off from something I may have sent to try and start a conversation. It certainly isn't offensive, it responds to what little profile was there, it asks more about her, etc. If it was the 1st message received, I imagine it might even work. But as the 6th message, it is much more likely to be ignored or deleted...



At this point the full profile was up, clearly stating she was just looking around, not at all interested in forced bi/femme or humiliation, and did not wish to be addressed by honorifics like Mistress or Ma'am. These are what followed:


7) "Hello Mistress do you like loser piggies?" -- from a HNGish name
8) "Hello Mistress..." I am, I like, I have, I, I, I want to be your slave...
9) cut & paste essay, but with profile name inserted awkwardly into the right places for that personal feel. From a profile 1500+ miles away with an unsolicited photo attached
10) "Hello Mistress" from a HNGish name
11) "What possibilities would You consider?" (must take a long time to type 1 handed)
12) "Hi Mistress, where are you? hope we can chat" -- from a HNGish name
13) unsolicited friend request, no text, from profile with HNGish name and 100 friends
14) cut & paste message telling "Mistress" how to dominate him
15) "Hello. Do you like humilation and sissys. Does size matter. Were at?" -- from HNGish name/profile pic
16) "wanna crush my ballz...you have an open invitation.. prove your real and make me squirm like a lil bitch" -- from a HNGish name 2000 miles away
17) #15 writing again to ask why I hadn't responded to him yet
18) "Hello Mistress..." followed by "stats" and I, I, I, I want to serve (my idea of) you... please YIM me now at name similar to: takesbigstrapons
19) "Ma'am i have read Your profile and would like to discuss the possibility of serving You as You describe...." -- followed by detailed instructions on how to force him to perform fellatio
20) wall of cut & paste text describing how dominant women should correct inferior men + HNGish name (no, not #5 again)
21) 1st guy that actually tailored a message to the profile. It was nice too -- until he started discussing his plans to relocate and serve at once
22) tailored to profile, but horrible grammar for someone bragging about being a 20-something physician
23) tailored to profile, but only 3 lines. Still it might get a response if this fictitious Domme wasn't too exasperated from the others by now.
24) #23 had more to say -- probably guaranteeing a response
25) "hi! id love to be your sub...where in town are you?"
26) nice message tailored to profile
27) "awesome to see you local! I'm in west side." -- 1 step above omghi2u?
28) #12 thought maybe I would respond if he told me exactly how much he enjoyed jerking off to my picture
29) A friendly, well-tailored message (from a Dom)
30) "hello Goddess i norice Your nearby i am very interested in chatting with You" -- might be easier to type with both hands sonny
31) unsolicited friend request from random Dom
32) responded to something from the profile, but then pasted a long I, I, I life story/do-me request -- from HNGish name 750+ miles away
33) "Am I too far away?" -- from a Dom 1000 miles away...
34) #10 decides now is a good time to mention he read the profile
35) "hi Miss may i speak?" -- from a HNGish name 2000 miles away


Whew, and that's just 1 day... So back to my own message:

"Hello and welcome! It's nice to see another local face. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of service."


I still don't think its bad, but it is definitely not a good, memorable message for someone who just waded through ~30 lame come-ons. A freshly jaded domme might even interpret it as:

"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Please boss me around"


Conclusion?

Better to remain silent until either the profile fills in enough to inspire, or you come up with a unique way to respectfully introduce yourself.

< Message edited by omkfY -- 1/6/2011 3:27:40 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 4:23:25 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		What, no cockshots?! Tsk, tsk.

I guess you have to fill out your profile a bit more to get the rape threats and snuff film afficianados.

(in reply to omkfY)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 5:05:07 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

What, no cockshots?! Tsk, tsk.

I guess you have to fill out your profile a bit more to get the rape threats and snuff film afficianados.



The no cock shots also surprise me, and how come (s)he's not getting gracious offers to move in and live in the basement forever - chained forever for your pleasure", no "female" subs with pictures that are obviously stolen who want you to tell them exactly what you do with female slaves...

Also only 35 mails seems to be a bit meager, must have been a slow 24 hours on CM....

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 5:15:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Only thirty-five?  I can promise that you included no picture attached to the profile.

Back in October, Icarys and I set up the same experiment.  We had over seventy emails (didn't count the friend requests or chat requests) in eighteen hours.  I didn't bother counting how many views it had because that really doesn't matter to Me.  I did, however, fill out the profile.  I did specify an age range and mentioned that I was new to the area and was looking forward to going to local events.

Out of those seventy emails, exactly one was a good email from a male switch who sent info on munch groups in the area.  One.  The rest was crap.  Quite a few one liners.  Not much that was terribly offensive, but nothing (except for that one, which was an excellent email) that was really worth responding to.

However, since we had set this up not only to show the sheer volume of email that a new female account sees when creating a profile on this site, but to also show what happens when people are told that a person isn't interested, the emails were answered any way.  I sent emails back to say thank you for the contact and give the reason why I wasn't interested.  Some of that was obvious due to distance or age.  That's when the nasty notes started coming back.  Not from everyone, of course, but definitely a high enough percentage to prove that women are better off not responding when they aren't interested if they don't want insults mailed to them.

So, I'm glad you got a little taste of what it's like on the other side of things, but you didn't quite get the full experience.  The other thing to keep in mind is that you are lucky that you tried this out now that the spam filter has been implemented.  Believe Me, it used to be much worse. 



.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 5:49:08 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline 		omkfy, I know I shouldn't be, but I am glad you did this experiment.  There will be very few guys believing this though, unless they do the same for themselves.  I almost wish it were some hazing ritual guys had to go through to join up and send letters, lol.

Yes, I am burnt out again and ready to go on hiatus.  Maybe till spring.  That's how I feel this week, maybe next week will be better.  I'm just tired, that's all.
 
quote:

"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Please boss me around"

Then you didn't get the epic novel letters trying to teach you a new kink?  Most have me studying them like a bug under the microscope, then I think "wow, I thought I heard it all."  One was from a guy hoping to be a cuckold, mixing racial play into the mix.  It sounded much too exhausting for me to ever get interested in...plus I'd have to install a revolving door on my bedroom.  Others try to explain the joys of my locking them up in some cell in my basement, almost 24/7.  Others can write page after page about kinks that are hard limits with most people on this site...  You are missing a lot if you haven't been treated to these yet. 

I am sure good guys get politely brushed off when I've had enough of the other shiite.  Also, I've noticed that compatible people tend to show up in clusters, instead of a more convenient one at a time.  Sometimes I have to make a choice too soon about who I am going to give more of my time to, getting to know him better. 
 
Another thing...when between relationships, I like to scene casually if someone interests me.  One can have male subs sniffing around daily for weeks or even months, but saying yes can change everything.  Maybe for some it's the thrill of the chase and being chosen...  With others, they become very BORING.  Seriously.  Before agreeing to scene they are interesting to know and talk with.  After saying yes, conversation dries up except for the when when when talk.  I can go from enjoying someone's company (and really getting off on flogging them) to...delaying the next session to almost infinity and beyond.  It is a matter of hunger, for me, if I top someone or not...if he hasn't helped make me feel predatory then I may as well go to the basement and flog my couch for the exercize alone.  This is just with some friendly acquaintences who want to or have in the past bottomed for me, not for past subs of mine. 

"It's nice to see another local face."  This would be good...and then something like, "Would you like to meet up at a coffee shop and play a game of chess (or another game, or even some nutty puzzle) sometime?" 

If the man was a gamer into Pokemon...ah...but miracles just don't happen all that often.

It must be disappointing to be male and get so few letters...but honestly, our larger amount of letters and having our profiles perved more often doesn't mean much. 
 
__________
edited to fix typo

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 1/6/2011 5:57:16 AM >

(in reply to omkfY)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 5:55:51 AM   
YSG


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
Status: offline 		Jeeze, and I thought I got a bunch of bullshit in my inbox. Ladies, how you remain patient and open to the good guys, I will probably never understand.

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 5:56:13 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OmkfY, I'm curious as to why you didn't believe what women had said about these kinds of mail. Why did you have to do it yourself when every single woman on this site, sub, switch and domme, has spoken with great feeling about this. It's especially odd that you want a relationship with a dominant woman but don't believe what they tell you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 6:37:24 AM   
CherryNeko


Posts: 330
Joined: 12/29/2010
From: Mexico City
Status: offline 		At least it wasn't a submissive's profile, because then they feel like they have a right to call you a stupid slut/bitch/slave/whore, along with some other things from when they get creative.

_____________________________

How many mornings do we have
Before this night ends?
I'm dying surrounded by white flowers
Which scatter in the sky...

(in reply to omkfY)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 6:45:18 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		this: "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere? Please boss me around"

might get a response from me.. its funny...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to CherryNeko)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 7:09:07 AM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		I did this little experiment a few months ago with a maledom friend of mine just to prove a point (know your audience), and the results to me were even more shocking than what I expected. The text from my friend's profile was nothing short of horribly obnoxious...something about "If you're reading this, then just admit it. You're a SLUT!" and blathered on about slutty readers for about 2 paragraphs. In an attempt to poke fun at his awful prose, I told him I was going to take his text and use it in my profile for a week, just to prove to him what kind of horrid attention I was going to get.

I was expecting to get inundated with hordes of HNGs (and no shocker there, I really did get about 200 of them in a week's time).

I was NOT, however, expecting genuinely heartfelt and deep seated responses from male locals, friends, other maledoms and the like.

Seriously. It was the dumbest, most self serving, moronic, (hypocritical!), offensive piece of crap intro I'd read in a long time, yet my using it and adapting to for my profile was somehow coercing taxicab confessions from local acquaintances . My Dominant female friends thought I'd completely lost my mind until I let them in on it.

(in reply to CherryNeko)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 7:16:13 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OmkfY, I'm curious as to why you didn't believe what women had said about these kinds of mail. Why did you have to do it yourself when every single woman on this site, sub, switch and domme, has spoken with great feeling about this. It's especially odd that you want a relationship with a dominant woman but don't believe what they tell you.


I wouldn't take it as distrust but just wanting to see for yourself, different experience.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 7:32:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The thought occurs to Me that with all of the experiments of various types, I'm sure this kind of thing contributes to all of those males who send messages and then wonder why they get no replies, the profiles disappear, etc.

quote:

Jeeze, and I thought I got a bunch of bullshit in my inbox. Ladies, how you remain patient and open to the good guys, I will probably never understand.


It's not as hard as you'd think.  I watch specifically for messages that are some version of the following:

Three to four well written sentences, with one of those being a question related to something written in My profile.

The message isn't related to kink or sex.

From someone who followed what I said in My profile - Meaning that if I say local, I mean local. 

There are no naked pics, either sent as an attachment or a primary profile pic.  (Yes, all you submissives with the 'full moon' shot, I'm talking to you.  I don't want to see your ass before I see your face.)

Last but not least, they don't expect to be the exception to the rule.  (When people say no people outside a certain age range, location, no to certain kinks, no to poly, no to married, no to specific hard limits, weight, or anything that they specify......... If that's you, don't write.)



It's really not as hard to get a response as some males around here would like to make it out to be.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/6/2011 7:36:37 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ReginaMirus)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 7:51:20 AM   
YSG


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
Status: offline 		Oh, I know its not always hard to get a response. I would even be bold enough to say that I'm one of the smarter male subs on the site, and can actually write decent introduction emails. I was just saying I dont know if I could put up with as much BS as you ladies seem to get.

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 7:59:58 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You might be right about that.  Of course, you've got some things going for you in the way you approach things.  Forum participation is always a bump in that, so definite plus.  Also, a face shot, which I think tends to help with the number of replies a person gets as well.

As to the rest, it goes through phases.  Since the spam filter went in, it is so much better. 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to YSG)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 8:22:05 AM   
omkfY


Posts: 104
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: State of Jefferson
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OmkfY, I'm curious as to why you didn't believe what women had said about these kinds of mail. Why did you have to do it yourself when every single woman on this site, sub, switch and domme, has spoken with great feeling about this. It's especially odd that you want a relationship with a dominant woman but don't believe what they tell you.


It was a matter of quantifying it. I believed you got a "bunch" of crappy messages and I had no doubt it was annoying since I got crap too. I just didn't realize you got 1500% more. And I gave men here a little too much credit by assuming for every ~5 messages, there would probably be 1 reasonably well-crafted one. Turns out that ratio is closer to 10:1...


Why does that matter? For me it explains a lot. Hypothetical example: I've sent a couple quick messages to someone at various times over the past year, but never really got a good conversation started. Today I see a journal entry talking about how she hasn't felt well all week. After this experiment, I better understand why "I'm sorry you've been under the weather, I hope you feel better soon" might not get a reply (or get a conversation killing reply like "thanks"). Heck, I might not even take offense if she asks "who are you again?" She is one of a handful of people to whom I've sent messages -- it's easy for me to remember her. I assumed she would remember me too (making those quick little notes seem OK). But I'm just one of thousands of baby blue names and that 1-2 line well-intentioned message is going to be awfully hard to remember after reading 35 emails today -- let alone two months down the road when I do something similar again...


Another example (of my neuroticism): I send a fantastic ~3-4 paragraph letter that I just know she'll appreciate. Unlike Twain, I have the time to keep it short yet still rich with content. While writing and revising I can just see exactly where she'll laugh and where she'll roll her eyes. I wonder if she'll notice that play on words here or the rhythmic alliteration over there. I finally finish and, as I send it, I notice she is online now. I was going to log off and do whatever else, but now I might as well wait and see what she says, right? I check the sent mail timestamps -- she hasn't read it yet. OK, get a glass a water, maybe use the restroom. Check again... woohoo! she opened the message a few minutes ago. I smile at the thought of her reading that little joke, wondering whether she actually laughed out loud. I browse the forum but keep glancing for the email notification of a reply. Nothing yet... I play word and music games in off topic, but still no email. It's now been 45 minutes since she read it, maybe the notification went to spam? I better check the cmail inbox anyway... Nope, nothing there. She is still online though. wtf? Maybe it wasn't as good as I thought, I can usually tell but perhaps it was forgettable -- or worse - just plain dumb? Go back to the forums. Some do-me asshole just posted the most ridiculous topic ever and I reply with scathing sarcasm. Still nothing yet. Check google news and confirm that the world has indeed gone to hell in a handbasket. Then bink! a new email notification pops up. It's probably some Viagra offer, but I'll check the cmail inbox directly just in case. Yes, there is a message -- and yes it is from her! Woohoo, my night is saved. Then I read it. It's OK -- maybe even nice. But it's short and probably took less time to write than I spent proof reading my final draft.


In both cases, my interest in said person would have plummeted. Maybe that's what they intended anyway, but now it seems at least equally likely that either my signal has been obscured by all the noise or she's just too overwhelmed to put much effort into responding right now. At the least, I now know why one liners are so annoying and won't be as tempted to send them in the future.



PS: Y'all can stop pity perving my profile now

< Message edited by omkfY -- 1/6/2011 8:33:23 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 8:45:41 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		And on the other side of the coin...we have the married, collared, submissive, girlie-boy profile which gets so covered with dust and overgrown with moss growing on it that you can barely read the words.

Seriously, if you would like a quiet and restful experience, create that profile and sit back with a good stack of books!


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to omkfY)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 9:00:01 AM   
YSG


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You might be right about that.  Of course, you've got some things going for you in the way you approach things.  Forum participation is always a bump in that, so definite plus.  Also, a face shot, which I think tends to help with the number of replies a person gets as well.

As to the rest, it goes through phases.  Since the spam filter went in, it is so much better. 





Its actually to the point where I get emails from women flirting with me. For example, I got an email just 2 weeks ago from a domme in Toledo, about 2 hours west of me. 22, tall, curvy, and absolutely gorgeous. Problem is, I was already taken at that point (for some reason, it was showing my old profile). She came out blasting the charm too, telling me how cute she found me, wanting to pull my hair and put me on my knees, etc. She was still very sweet after I (politely) informed her that I am in a relationship.

Now, granted, I think Im the exception here, rather than the rule.

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 10:15:59 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OmkfY, I'm curious as to why you didn't believe what women had said about these kinds of mail. Why did you have to do it yourself when every single woman on this site, sub, switch and domme, has spoken with great feeling about this. It's especially odd that you want a relationship with a dominant woman but don't believe what they tell you.


I agree. I find it ridiculous and a time waste to set up dummy profiles; I guess if you have free time and nothing else to do to entertain yourself.

But I also am totally against setting up a fake profile; after all, how many constantly discuss all the "fakes" on the site?

I am sure the one or two real men who replied to your fake profile  would be happy to know how fake it was.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 10:16:02 AM   
LovelyLady39


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/11/2010
Status: offline 		Very interesting thread, I'm glad you did it. I've put this thread in my journal since I get so many compliments on it I thought maybe they'll be smart enough to follow the link here...hopefully

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What dominant women endure online - a halfway cluel... - 1/6/2011 10:42:35 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
But I also am totally against setting up a fake profile; after all, how many constantly discuss all the "fakes" on the site?


The ethics of it are questionable.  When I helped Peon set up one for his experiment (he wanted to do the same thing), it was real in the sense that it was actually me, and I would reply to any serious person who was writing me asking for what I was requesting in the profile (gamer geek buddies in the lifestyle for our BDSM D&D players guild on DDO).   Also it stated clearly in the profile that a male slave had full access to read anything sent there, so please speak only as you would at a Munch or other public setting with no expectation of privacy.  So we had the ethical issues covered.  In retrospect, maybe a little too well.


quote:

I am sure the one or two real men who replied to your fake profile  would be happy to know how fake it was.


I'm not so sure.  It took 100+ emails to get just a few non-creepy people writing me, and zero respondents who were actually interested in what I said I was looking for.  Yet they wrote me anyways, in droves.  Disciplines of Discipline got zero new gamers from the run of this profile.  It costs nothing to play, and I was offering to give new players lots of valuable stuff in-game if they would come and play with us.  Still, absolutely nobody wanted to come play with a domme who was offering to give them stuff and spend hours hanging out with them and getting to know them in a non kinky context.  That, to me, is deeply telling.  This is the avenue I said I wanted to pursue in order to get to know new people, and NO ONE, not one single person out of the 100+ who sent emails, wanted to spend that social time with me if I was not looking to get naked and kinky with them right away.

In other words, 100% of the people writing me did not care what I was looking for and were not looking for the same thing.  None were willing to spend social time with me that was not going to be immediately kinky.  They just wrote me anyway in hopes of talking to a dominant woman for completely selfish purposes that ignored my wishes, limits and boundaries.  They sure as hell didn't want what I wanted, and what I said I wanted didn't matter.  Even the tiny handful of reasonably polite ones fell into this category. 

Since he quit long before reaching 100 emails, the chances of ANY of them being "real" in the sense of actually giving a shit about what this person was looking are actually pretty freaking low.  So yes, there's theoretical ethical issues, but given that *no one* appears to be making a significant investment in writing dominant female profiles here, or bothering to pay attention to what they say, I'm not going to lose much sleep over it.


_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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