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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 5:22:51 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Inky. Really? You need our help with this?

THE TRUTH IS IN FRONT OF YOU.


This and only this. Inky it sucks, but he is married. Or similar. I mean come on, facebook? He says you are his property but you can't be a facebook friend? lol..facebook is the vanilla life with wifey and work friends and family that's why. You get fetlife, she gets f/b.

You are better and smarter than this.  


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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 5:29:23 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Sometimes you are the person who shares his life and sometimes you are the booty call.   Ask yourself really which one you are.  When you do, you will have your answer.

All in all, i would go with your instincts cause they are probably right.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 5:29:28 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Inky, I am afraid that you are being a 'dirty little secret'. 

So far, for the most part, I have had males, both Dom and sub, asking me to be discreet in handling any affairs.  I terminated any contact because I refuse to be used in that way (I hate secrets).  Besides, I can sense that they are jerks (or jerkwads, which ever describes the folks the best). 

Now, I got a dear friend through CM.  If it develops further, that will be alright with me.  So far, he is trying to make me go on a diet (agony, pain, despair) and threatening to come down here.  Maybe after the snow season...

Just give it a few deep thoughts.


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 6:12:03 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		He is in a relationship. It's very obvious. I'm sorry you've been lied to.
If he had nothing to hide he would go out of his way to allay your concerns instead of using them against you.

His profile on Fetlife he figures no one will see so it doesn't matter if you are on there. He probably told his daughter you were a friend/aquaintence.

If somehow he was not attached how can you explain his keeping you a secret - after a year?


(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 6:19:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So he knows where you live but you don't know where he does? He comes to your house, gets his jollies and then disappears not to talk to you again until he feels like it?

If your daughter was being treated like this by some boy who claimed to like her, would you say she was being treated with love and respect or was she being used? If you don't want her to accept this kind of treatment, then you should not model being in this kind of a relationship. Because she's going to grow up thinking this is all she deserves also, being somebody's bit on the side. And your son will grow up thinking this is how he should treat women. Will you be proud of him for doing this to some innocent girl? If not, don't teach him to do this.


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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 6:25:18 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		If you wonder if you will get a engagement ring-  I doubt it.

If you wonder if he wants to bang you-  yes.

If someone wont add me on facebook-  I do not consider them serious.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 6:39:14 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why not take him to Disneyland?

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:14:32 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

All in all, i would go with your instincts cause they are probably right.


"We can generally trust our gut feeling about someone or something to be accurate information. This is because the solar plexus, the place in the body where we generally feel the gut reaction, is in fact a primitive brain. It is also a major intuitive center, the part of our body that lets us know whether we are safe and whether we are being lied to.

Columbia resarcher Michael Gershon, M.D., is a pioneer in the field of neurogastroenterology. In his book "The Second Brain," he details the discovery and gradual scientific acceptance of the enteric nervous system, which actually operates independently from the brain in the head."

Christiane Northrup, M.D., "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom," Inner Guidance chapter

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:20:42 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Okay, DIS, you've listed all the reasons not to trust him.  Can you give us some reasons why you SHOULD trust him?

Edited to add: I just looked at your profile, assuming that I could check out his profile from yours.  But he's not on your Friends list on collarme.  Why not?


< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 1/20/2011 7:22:38 PM >

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:25:23 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		If it were me- I would not be spending money on the guy sending him stuff.  

Let him buy YOU gifts!  Diamonds and furs would be ideal.

"when the time is right".     might mean-   "you are plan b"

if he is a good fuck- then see him for just that-  not a ring.    those type will NEVER commit.  

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:28:08 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Edited to add: I just looked at your profile, assuming that I could check out his profile from yours.  But he's not on your Friends list on collarme.  Why not?




He doesn't have a profile on Collar Me.

Reasons to trust him? ATM.... I'm not sure how to answer that one.

ETA: To be fair I did break things off at one point and get involved with someone else b/c I wasn't getting what I needed time wise with him. WE got back together again a few mths later but always talked. HE says THAT made him insecure and have trust issues with me.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 1/20/2011 7:32:49 PM >

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:33:58 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

If it were me- I would not be spending money on the guy sending him stuff.  

Let him buy YOU gifts!  Diamonds and furs would be ideal.

"when the time is right".     might mean-   "you are plan b"

if he is a good fuck- then see him for just that-  not a ring.    those type will NEVER commit.  




he does buy me gifts infact he says that is why I shouldn't doubt him is all the money he spends on me and the kids...

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:36:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to be really nice here and agree with the others.

Might not be married, but I'm betting at least a vanilla girlfriend.

Normally, people with past issues with cheaters/being cheated on don't wait a year for suspensions.

The earlier quote by Jong should be accredited to Lance having it in his sig line.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:41:01 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut


quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

If it were me- I would not be spending money on the guy sending him stuff.  

Let him buy YOU gifts!  Diamonds and furs would be ideal.

"when the time is right".     might mean-   "you are plan b"

if he is a good fuck- then see him for just that-  not a ring.    those type will NEVER commit.  




he does buy me gifts infact he says that is why I shouldn't doubt him is all the money he spends on me and the kids...



You are further along then I am.

It is hard to figure out some people tho at times.  They say one thing but mean something else... in their mind they are being honest-  but that reality does not match others reality.  Not that it is ill-intended-  it just does not line up.



(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:45:11 PM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline 		-FR-

So you've been going out for a year, seeing each other weekly, and you don't know where he lives, can only get in touch with him sporadically through his cell phone and have to mail things to a PO Box? But he knows where you live, can contact you whenever he wants and sees you whenever he feels like it? Do I have this right?

It's not your insecurities speaking. He's hiding things. It doesn't matter what. It doesn't matter if it's you he's hiding from someone else or if he's hiding things from you. If you want a relationship built on trust and some sort of mutual commitment, you're not going to get it here. If you're not satisfied with the way things are, you're going to have to ditch this guy because the odds are it's never going to change.

Generally, once you get the past "you're not crazy or dangerous or creepy" stage of meeting each other and move towards the "I want to know you better" stage, you start exchanging personal information. Someone not willing to show you any insight into their life at all after a little while should start raising red flags. I'm sorry to say, I think this guy is using you. My advice is, kick him to the curb, tough as that may be.



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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 7:58:32 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The question is-  is this guy/fling  holding her back from happier potential mates.

Is the fling blocking her from her full potential.   We do not know either way at this point.

(I dont mean directly-  but in-directly- circumstantial)

I am in a fling... I learned his info-  we talked it out.  He had me over once to his house.  I have his phone number.   I know better to abuse it.    It took some heated moments to get to that point.   In my case-  the fling will never ever be available for anything but a romp.       So-  does it hold me back?    One could argue that either way.     The point is- that I know the score- and I can proceed knowing that a commitment is never going to happen.      At one time I would get all mushy around him.    Be in a cloud for hours....   but now I know - that -  love is not part of the deal.     BTW-- the fling has gone one for 12 years.  So waiting obviously would have been a mistake.

...we all must live with our decisions in ife.

(in reply to InvisibleBlack)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:03:31 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Sweetie, I say this because I genuinely like you and care about you.

If you've been together almost a year and he can't explain why you can't ship things to his house, he won't add you to his facebook (hell, I'd add you and I've never slept with you), you never meet his family and he rarely answers the phone...

Yeah... I'm going to say that the odds are good that he is lying to you. What about... I dunno. But I would definitely say that the are odds are very good that he is lying to you. Certainly after a year you have the right to go "Look, this isn't working for me. I need to be a bigger part of your life or find a man who wants to be part of mine".

I know that I often quote one of my favorite books, He's Just Not that Into You, and I'm gonna do it again here: Believe you are the rule and not the exception. It's more likely than not that something is going on.

And if there isn't something and he really wants you, he'll do what it takes to keep you.


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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:07:09 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

And if there isn't something and he really wants you, he'll do what it takes to keep you.



This. Sometimes a guy needs a whack upside the head to realize when he's really fucking things up.

Personally, Inky, I don't think this is the case. I'm not going to justify it, or put up explanations or fancy quotes (though that one about not making someone a priority who considers you an option comes to mind). I think you're getting the short end of the stick.


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:08:06 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

Reasons to trust him? ATM.... I'm not sure how to answer that one.

ETA: To be fair I did break things off at one point and get involved with someone else b/c I wasn't getting what I needed time wise with him. WE got back together again a few mths later but always talked. HE says THAT made him insecure and have trust issues with me.


Hold on... you broke things off because you weren't getting what you needed, you messed around with someone - while broken up - and then you two got back together and that makes him not trust you? So now he gets Inky booty, still isn't giving what you need and want and is getting you to doubt your own trustworthiness?

He's mastered the guilt trip better than most Jewish grandmothers...

I say this because I do care about you and I wish someone had pointed this sort of shit out to me when I was with my exes.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:10:32 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		But is she exclusive to him?

If so- then-  it sounds one way.

OP, are saying no to other guys who ask you out?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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