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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:14:29 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

Reasons to trust him? ATM.... I'm not sure how to answer that one.

ETA: To be fair I did break things off at one point and get involved with someone else b/c I wasn't getting what I needed time wise with him. WE got back together again a few mths later but always talked. HE says THAT made him insecure and have trust issues with me.

Hold on... you broke things off because you weren't getting what you needed, you messed around with someone - while broken up - and then you two got back together and that makes him not trust you?

Yes. He says that is why he hasn't let me close I broke things off and got involved with someone else.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:18:35 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

But is she exclusive to him?

If so- then- it sounds one way.

OP, are saying no to other guys who ask you out?

yes that is what I am saying to other guys AND women. Lol

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:29:05 PM

SexyBossyBBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut
I do want a man who is transparent and this situation brings up ALOT of demons and insecurites all the time infact THAT is his big thing. He blames my reaction to alot of this on my personl insecurities and lately I am thinking WTF... you give me reasons to be insecure about us but att he same time I honestly wasn't sure what was really the natural reaction to this situation and what was due to old demons. That is why I did seek the imput of strangers.

You, my dear, clearly do not have a man who is transparent.   Evidently, not only is he not transparent, he is using information you shared with him in confidence, to keep you where he wants you: insecure, doubting your thoughts, and dependent on his strength [NOT].

My heart goes out to you.   It would seriously behoove you, to get some counseling, and though it's difficult to break old patterns, you have to at least keep your eyes open, to see trouble coming from a distance, or when it is in your face.
Good luck,    M

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/20/2011 8:49:46 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

Yes. He says that is why he hasn't let me close I broke things off and got involved with someone else.

Right. But you weren't getting what you needed before. What was his excuse then?

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 2:48:06 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

Yes. He says that is why he hasn't let me close I broke things off and got involved with someone else.

Right. But you weren't getting what you needed before. What was his excuse then?

His work schedule, he tells me he works 2 jobs.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 3:05:15 AM

ShaharThorne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

he does buy me gifts infact he says that is why I shouldn't doubt him is all the money he spends on me and the kids...

Oh my...GUILT TRIP!!!

He is playing with you, Inky. Drop him like a hot potato and run for it. Tis better to get rid of him and live YOUR life. You are being used and abused. Been there, done that, got the shirt and worn it out.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 3:23:37 AM

came4U

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Not wanting to get involved in someone so much that I meet his family or visa versa, or end up at his work BBQ (and I AM single) sounds like a good, even great situation to me (as long as I KNOW for sure he isn't married or lying to another) but it seems it is NOT good for you--as is.

Two things to do, tolerate it or don't. Has little or much to do with submission itself, it has become a matter of totality and self-respect now.

If you choose to make demands on a relationship that you have (up til now) tolerated then be prepared to accept the consequences or drop it. Depending on how much pain is caused by either decision...will make your decision. No one can answer it for you (you know what most people are going to say anyways, we honestly cannot be your Jimminy Cricket, you have your own, use it).

This guy, compared to a money scammer, does sound fishy/uninterested whathaveyou (insert verbiage here). caveat emptor, as they say.

Mom's advice 'if ya have to ask' or....'.if it hurts, don't do it!! '

*well, that line never worked on some of us, we LIKED it !

good luck.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/21/2011 3:44:35 AM >

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 3:39:17 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
Drop him like a hot potato and run for it. Tis better to get rid of him and live YOUR life. You are being used and abused. Been there, done that, got the shirt and worn it out.

I saw a documentary a while back on fighter pilot training. Part of the course was a discussion of the "ejection mindset". This, from memory:

"The problem a lot of guys face is they know they're sitting in a 30 million dollar plane. So if you don't train them right, they do this: “The plane’s on fire and I should get the hell out ... but it’s worth 30 million bucks ... but it’s on fire ... but it’s worth 30 million bucks ... but it’s on fire ... but ... BANG!” and they’re a lawn dart. That’s part of why we train them to grab the handle and shout “EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!” at the top of their voices – it doesn't give them the time or free mental capacity to think that they're about to ditch a 30 million dollar plane.”

It’s time to grab the handle and shout EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1USNC3Ozw18

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 3:45:50 AM

came4U

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great analogy Rapier lol

but comparing this guy to a 30 million dollar aircraft is just a no-can-do lol.

Pull n Bail!!

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:02:15 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
but comparing this guy to a 30 million dollar aircraft is just a no-can-do lol.

An absolutely fair point :)

But what I was trying to get over (and you got this I think) is that, if we put emotional investment into anything at the expense of our common sense then we run the risk of making a huge mistake.

I got caught that way myself last year and thus I can sympathise with the OP.

Time to punch Elvis :)

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:08:19 AM

came4U

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Oh I got it alright lol.

Second guessing one's own emotional digestion of a situation in that it makes them reconsider their own sanity, guilt, worth etc is not quite beneficial (unless they enjoy that sort of ride).

Sometimes YOU are more important than the situation you put yourself in. Lifestyle or not, the ability to know thyself is more important than any fight or flight instinct (no pun intended).

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:11:02 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Sometimes YOU are more important than the situation you put yourself in.

Indeed so.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:42:55 AM

calamitysandra

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You do know.

I am so sorry.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:43:57 AM

purepleasure

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the op's male friend isn't worth 30 million in my book.

I would have ejected LONG ago.

There are other men that can fulfill the OP's every desire, and without being so secretive about their personal life.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:46:48 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: calamitysandra

I am so sorry.

<suspicious>

Why? What have you done?

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:47:07 AM

GreedyTop

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great vid, RF

and great analogy!!

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:48:10 AM

YSG

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Sweetheart, you're getting hosed. I know it sucks, but its the truth. Its been a year and you've never even been to his house? Only met one of his kids?

As far as his so-called "trust issues" with you... its been a year, he's being manipulative. Not to mention the guilt trips being thrown around.

My advice: dump the loser, and spend some time being single before jumping into another relationship. I know its not fun, but it sounds like this guy, among others, has messed you up pretty badly.

-hugs-

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 4:59:53 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

he does buy me gifts infact he says that is why I shouldn't doubt him is all the money he spends on me and the kids...

Wait....you have kids with this guy??

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:01:51 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

he does buy me gifts infact he says that is why I shouldn't doubt him is all the money he spends on me and the kids...

Wait....you have kids with this guy??

No. We dont have kids together. He has meet my kids though, hung out with them ect.

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:06:36 AM

came4U

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You have introduced your kids (often) to a guy that ...

have you seen his ID? do you even know he is who he says he is?

I mean, honestly, a guy/person is only a stranger ONCE, after that if he is part of your life (and your children's) he owes you at LEAST lesser anonymity.

This is getting to be less of a sticky situation and verging on creepy. Call block would come in handy about now.

*no better gift (to yourself), I'd say. No flowers or trinkets can beat safety and sanity.

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