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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:07:31 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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He sounds emotionally unavailable and probably married, or at the very least in another relationship that he is trying to hide from you.

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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

Post #: 61

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:10:07 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

great vid, RF

It wasn't the one I was looking for, but the one I want isn't on YouTube, by the look of it ... there was a series on BBC2 years back called (IIRC) "The Works", where they described how stuff ... well, worked. One episode was called "Things That Work Only Once", and featured such things as the thing they replaced aluminium can ring pulls with (a phenomenally engineered device, BTW, you simply wouldn’t believe what goes into their design) and also a Martin Baker zero-zero seat.

The footage in question concerns (IIRC, but it's years back now) a 2 plane take-off by the Red Arrows (Hawk single engined training, display and light attack aircraft). As the pair hurtle up the runway for takeoff, side-by-side, they reach V0, then V1, rotate in perfect synchronisation (it’s the Red Arrows after all), but the moment the plane nearest the camera starts to lift, its engine suffers what can best be described as an epic fail. The pilot reacts instantly, punching Elvis and there’s this amazing shot of the one aircraft lifting off, the other pilot going past him vertically, and the second plane crashing into a horrific fireball, all in one shot. Fantastic :)

This one’s quite funny too – I particularly like the American carrier pilot describing the transition from macho airman to shit-scared kid in a split-second

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxTDNlloAH8

*cough*BritishDesignedWorldBeater*cough*

(although the original idea was German & Swedish, then the Americans tried to advance it, but they couldn't make one that worked properly, so they got a Brit in. Well ok, 2 Brits)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 62

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:12:24 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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It isn't flowers or trinkets. Inky's in a precarious economic state and he's helping her. She's his mistress and he's got a good paying job. If she needs the money, then she'll accept his terms until she no longer does. And I hope that day comes soon because she deserves better than this.

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Post #: 63

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:16:09 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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It is not very empowering to depend on others for your financial security. But I agree, if it's a negotiated relationship for money thing, then there is nothing to complain about.

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Post #: 64

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:21:22 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YSG
Sweetheart, you're getting hosed.

I know this isn't a "funny" thread, but by christ that made me laugh :)

Such a wonderfully evocative phrase.

(in reply to YSG)

Post #: 65

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:23:04 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Hello Ink,
Whether he is or isn't involved with another person is to some degree a moot point. The reality is that you are not trusting him. You seem to want to be in a trusting relationship. That is not what you report that you have.

The real question is - do you think you deserve a trusting relationship?

We can dance around it all we want, and we can speculate about him, but in the end it is not about HIM. It's about you.

If you choose to stay with someone who does not give you what you want / need, for whatever reason, why do you stay? Because you are getting SOMETHING ELSE out of it besides the relationship yummies. There is no shame in that. We have all done it, we've all at some point continued in an ugly / negative / "less than" relationship because we get something else from it. Is whatever you are getting worth the cost?

You don't seem happy or at peace. To this outsider, that is the real tragedy.

May you find your truth,
best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 1/21/2011 5:28:12 AM >

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Post #: 66

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:25:21 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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Let me make something very clear he doesn't pay my bills or any of that. I do that. I may not have much but what i have is MINE. His gifts tend to be things he knows I want but can't afford for myself or things he says he think i deserve. Things that he says he comes across during the day that make him think about me or the kids and he will get them b/c he doesn't have alot of time but the money is something he does have.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 67

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:25:42 AM

KatyLied

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

We can dance around it all we want, and we can speculate about him, but in the end it is not about HIM. It's about you.

I think this is probably the best thing said in this thread.

You are the only person who can act from a position of strength regarding what you need in a relationship and what you need from him. Some people can't meet our needs, for whatever reason, and it is our job to correct the situation.

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Post #: 68

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:35:03 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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It is about ME, its about what I need. I thought i had gotten past the part of my life,my past that graffitatated towards men, relationships that were harmfum to me. My friends have told me what you guys have but I thought they were biased or simply didn't like him. So I came to faceless names to see if I heard the same and I did. Truth is, reading this thread. Has been an eye opener..its like I no longer can deny the reality of the relationship I am in. I have to end this because Im realizing this is no different. That this is me self injurying via my relationship. No one can stop this cycle but me.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 1/21/2011 5:38:38 AM >

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Post #: 69

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:39:16 AM

GreedyTop

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*hugs Inky*

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Post #: 70

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:41:12 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
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From: Pennsylvania
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Hugs to you Inky, be strong.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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Post #: 71

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:51:41 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

Let me make something very clear he doesn't pay my bills or any of that. I do that. I may not have much but what i have is MINE. His gifts tend to be things he knows I want but can't afford for myself or things he says he think i deserve. Things that he says he comes across during the day that make him think about me or the kids and he will get them b/c he doesn't have alot of time but the money is something he does have.

That is totally cool. I understand, my ex has payed my bills since we broke up in 2001, but, he has since married and never has or will put any undue pressure on me about it (sexually or otherwise), there-lies the difference.

quote:

It is about ME, its about what I need. I thought i had gotten past the part of my life,my past that graffitatated towards men, relationships that were harmfum to me. My friends have told me what you guys have but I thought they were biased or simply didn't like him. So I came to faceless names to see if I heard the same and I did. Truth is, reading this thread. Has been an eye opener..its like I no longer can deny the reality of the relationship I am in. I have to end this because Im realizing this is no different. That this is me self injurying via my relationship. No one can stop this cycle but me.

I totally get ya!! But, that is why I checked your age on profile.

I have done the same/similar (dated a jackass for a year who turns out wasn't married but never showed me his ID or told me where he lived--but hell, I was 20something and dumb as a doorknob--obviously).

I eventually found out his name (had to search his wallet while he showered lol) and his address (after a trip to reverse phone number out of the library's city directory --pre-google days) and stood outside a church across the street in the cold.

He was leaving his house and saw me there, in dire distress, freezing and said...'OMG, this is what I have done to you???'. He regrets that game he played to this day. I was truly a wreck, no not because I loved him---but because he had a secret (so I assumed), the whole thing was entirely and SICKLY exciting to me. More SICK than exciting. That is when he manned up and bit the bullet and decided 'ok, this just ain't so fun anymore'.

We are friends again now, but that subject is touchy and both him and I hate it to even be brought up.

So, without trying to be toooo judgemental. Think. Is this good, or is it sick? My guess is aside from the (perhaps) slight case of financial domination he has over you...there is another veil.

Perhaps one day when you are brave, you won't have to stand in the cold to tell him 'this is all just too painful, either you let me into your life at least MORE than you have---or I will have to leave yours!'.

Maybe you need him to tell you, not us. Your lesson will be that for next time (and hopefully there won't be) it won't be so hard to just say those words, for self-preservation/respect's sake.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/21/2011 5:54:18 AM >

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RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 5:52:02 AM

DaddysInkedSlut

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hugs greedy

hugs Katy

Thanks for all the blunt truths told in this thread.

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Post #: 73

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 6:07:51 AM

sunshinemiss

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You're welcome.

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Post #: 74

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 6:09:43 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut
I have to end this because Im realizing this is no different. That this is me self injurying via my relationship. No one can stop this cycle but me.

And you managed to get that in 4 pages, whereas a lot of people wouldn't get it in 4 lifetimes.

All the best to you.

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

Post #: 75

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 6:14:27 AM

MaxsGirl

Posts: 355
Joined: 12/2/2010
From: The Arctic Circle
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I agree with everyone else. And you have c-mail.

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Post #: 76

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 6:17:09 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
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From: Insanity & beyond
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I have stayed out of this thread because I am not a faceless stranger to you & you know what I think. But I've read every post & I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. I want you to know that I am your friend & I am here for you. I support you no matter what, because I am your friend. So what I think about the situation doesn't really matter. My being there for you does. I have big hugs for you!!

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Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
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Just one of the yahoo's

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Post #: 77

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 6:23:14 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

I have to end this because Im realizing this is no different. That this is me self injurying via my relationship. No one can stop this cycle but me.

I dunno if I am one to give advice on this subject (a lil too late now LOL) but seems to me (in my case anyways, maybe others) what you have to do is to take the time to care of and for yourself (and care very well of yourself) until you feel you are ready (IF you are ever ready) to trust another to do the hurting (thus it is more consensual).

Only seems fair and balanced both for you and him that you do so with both eyes and arms wide open and aware.

Afterall, we should trust ourselves before we can trust another anyways.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/21/2011 6:24:48 AM >

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Post #: 78

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 7:11:45 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

I have to end this because Im realizing this is no different. That this is me self injurying via my relationship. No one can stop this cycle but me.

*hugs tight* If you need anything, even just an ear to talk to, let me know hon. I've got a long-ass car drive in a few days and you can have my ears as long as my cell reception holds out!

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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

Post #: 79

RE: I need unbiased opinions of faceless strangers... Lol - 1/21/2011 7:25:56 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

I have stayed out of this thread because I am not a faceless stranger to you & you know what I think. But I've read every post & I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. I want you to know that I am your friend & I am here for you. I support you no matter what, because I am your friend. So what I think about the situation doesn't really matter. My being there for you does. I have big hugs for you!!

This.

In my case, I know that we have never met, but you are welcome to contact me at any time.

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I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 80

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