Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Corny Joke contest.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> RE: Corny Joke contest. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:10:47 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
A white horse walked into a bar and the barman said, "Hey, we've got a whisky named after you!' The horse said, "What, Eric?"

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to SadistAndSlave)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:17:22 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
I live near a university. You can always tell that a new bunch of students has arrived in the city to start uni because a police traffic cone will appear on the head of the statue outside the Town Hall. Likewise, every year, the newly-cleaned walls of the students' toilets attract the graffito 'I'd rather a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy'. Fjoeken youngsters. They always believe they're the first to come up with something. Grrr.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:28:25 AM   
Themasterofo1


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/29/2009
Status: offline
what's round, red and invisible.......... that tomato


ssshhhhhh quiet, everyone thinks you're paranoid


it's the festive season, a lady was at her local super market looking at the frozen turkeys and noticed that they were rather small so she asked the sales assistant "do these turkeys get any bigger" and he replied "no ma'am they're dead"

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:36:32 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
A white horse walked into a bar and the barman said, "Hey, we've got a whisky named after you!' The horse said, "What, Eric?"


That joke's funnier if the name is "Colin", for some reason.

I'm going with:

"Why does it take 5 women with PMS to change a light bulb?"

"COZ IT JUST FUCKING DOES, YOU BASTARD!!"

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:37:15 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
FR

Clearly, there's fierce competition here for the most stupid joke. Lips are curled in snarls, weapons are brandished and the battle lines are drawn. A hush is falling over the land and the presence of the God of War is palpable.

Right, anyway, this was the first joke I ever remember being told, at primary school:

A Frenchman is hitch-hiking next to the road. An Englishman pulls up in his car and shouts, "You want a lift?" The Frenchman replies, "Oui, oui!" And the Englishman drives off shouting, "Not in my car you don't - find a toilet!"

I do remember being on the floor and holding my stomach at that one. I had a sheltered upbringing in many ways.



_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Themasterofo1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:40:31 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

That joke's funnier if the name is "Colin", for some reason.



Heh. Actually, 'Jeremy' works even better.



quote:


"Why does it take 5 women with PMS to change a light bulb?"

"COZ IT JUST FUCKING DOES, YOU BASTARD!!"


I first got told that joke by a female friend who was notorious for her short temper. She actually got slightly pissed off at how much I laughed at it. Superb.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:46:05 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Clearly, there's fierce competition here for the most stupid joke.


Is there? I've never seen this thread before so I wouldn't know ...

Ok ... let me see ...

There’s these 2 dyslexics skiing in the Alps. They come belting down the hillside, this way and that, and when they reach the bottom the first one says to the other “that was brilliant, the way you zigged and zagged down that mountain”.

“No”, says the second, “it’s zagged and zigged”.

“Is it fuck!” says the first, “it’s zigged and zagged!”.

And so they argue and argue, until they spot a bloke just standing there, a little way away, and they resolve to get him to settle the argument.

“Excuse me” says the first skier, “but can you settle an argument for us? When you come whooshing down the mountain from side-to-side, is it zigged and zagged, or zagged and zigged?”.

“I'm sorry but I don't know” says the man, “I’m a tobogganist”

“Oh right” says the first chap ...”well in that case, can I have 20 Marlboro Lights and a box of matches?”

I’ll get me coat ...

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:51:30 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue



*Cackle* That's the mark of a joke of A1 corn quality: all that build up, just for a play on only one word. Excellent.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 10:56:06 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
Two morons were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first moron said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other moron said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.



_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:03:47 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
*Cackle* That's the mark of a joke of A1 corn quality: all that build up, just for a play on only one word. Excellent.


I reckon, if you're going to waste people's time, do it properly ;)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:19:00 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it!


_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:19:14 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
I reckon, if you're going to waste people's time, do it properly ;)


Yup.

Reminds me. The best laugh I ever got in my life was in a pub, after someone told a joke that went on for a good ten minutes. It was bloody interminable. At the end of it, I did this one, instantly:

"A bloke walked into a bar, and went 'Unh!' - because it was an iron bar."


Damnit. One of my favourite jokes ever, but it only works in real time and face-to-face. You need to do the actions.

You hold out your hands in front of you, wide apart, palms up. You say, "What have you got if you've got a mothball in this hand and a mothball in this hand?'

Then you lean forward, arranging a really serious and disturbed look on your face, and say, "A *really* big moth".

I works absolutely brilliantly if everyone's stoned out of their boxes.




_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:21:33 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:22:21 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it!


It comes just days after the theft of every single toilet from the local cop station.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:22:58 AM   
MissMacey


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?





Because he's chicken.


*bow*

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:23:28 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Then you lean forward, arranging a really serious and disturbed look on your face, and say, "A *really* big moth".


Oh I like that one! :)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:24:30 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMacey

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because he's chicken.


Why did the pervert cross the road?

Coz he had his knob stuck in the chicken.

(in reply to MissMacey)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 11:27:15 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it!



That was truly bloody awful, MM. My compliments, Sir!

I see that we've now entered that league where only those who have balls of titanium and who can proffer the most appalling jokes of all time can stand the pace. By crackey, I can feel the adrenalin!



























_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 12:07:53 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it!


That was truly bloody awful, MM. My compliments, Sir!

I see that we've now entered that league where only those who have balls of titanium and who can proffer the most appalling jokes of all time can stand the pace. By crackey, I can feel the adrenalin!


Thank you very much.

Okay last one for this afternoon from me.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion















_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 12:10:45 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321


When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion


2 cannibals are eating a clown.

One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny?".

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> RE: Corny Joke contest. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2022
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.113