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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 1:25:50 AM   
Themasterofo1


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two baby seals walk into a club

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 2:42:21 AM   
petmonkey


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Q: Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom?


A: Because the "P" is silent.


Dr. Goof just called to tell me that one.  He helps form young minds, y'all.  We are doomed.


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 4:36:25 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey
Dr. Goof just called to tell me that one.  He helps form young minds, y'all.  We are doomed.


Schweet :)

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 6:47:26 AM   
PeonForHer


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Wait till the end of a phone call and when you know that the person the other end is desperate to get off the line. Tell him that you have a joke: 'What has a one inch dick and hangs down? A bat!'

He laughs weakly, now irritated.

You say, 'Fair enough, not one of my better ones. All right, what has a ten inch dick, and hangs up?'

Then you hang up.

So far, only my Dad has phoned back to ask what the punchline was.



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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 7:01:02 AM   
Themasterofo1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Wait till the end of a phone call and when you know that the person the other end is desperate to get off the line. Tell him that you have a joke: 'What has a one inch dick and hangs down? A bat!'

He laughs weakly, now irritated.

You say, 'Fair enough, not one of my better ones. All right, what has a ten inch dick, and hangs up?'

Then you hang up.

So far, only my Dad has phoned back to ask what the punchline was.





I just called 2 people to use that joke, made my night thanks for that

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 7:04:02 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Themasterofo1
I just called 2 people to use that joke, made my night thanks for that


Glad to be of service. :-) Works best if they're already impatient to finish the call, I've found.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 7:23:03 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Glad to be of service. :-) Works best if they're already impatient to finish the call, I've found.


News just in of Blaster McMurdoch, the famous elephant hunter, who was buried today ...

... in future he's pledged not to follow quite so close behind the elephant.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 7:26:29 AM   
Elisabella


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Man says - Want to hear a joke about my dick? Wait, nevermind, it's too long.
Woman replies - Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Wait, nevermind, you're not going to get it.

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 7:37:38 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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A guy is sitting next to a gorgeous girl on a transatlantic flight. Struggling for a conversation opener, he notices she's reading an article in a woman's magazine, so he politely enquires what it's about. She says;

"Well it's a fascinating article about race and men's penis size. It says here that Jewish men have the thickest penises, whereas Native Americans have the longest penises. But sorry, where are my manners! I'm Jenny Smith. What's your name?"

"Tonto. Tonto Goldberg".

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 10:04:38 AM   
Sundowner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Themasterofo1

two baby seals walk into a club



*snort*

(OK so I'm a bad person)




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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 10:12:47 AM   
Sundowner


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Have you heard about the insomniac, dyslexic atheist?

He can't get to sleep at night worrying about whether there's a dog.



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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 10:16:40 AM   
newdmsextoy


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My ex gf was a really loud bolemic.

I was always telling her to keep it down.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 10:21:04 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: newdmsextoy

My ex gf was a really loud bolemic.

I was always telling her to keep it down.


Scientists have apparently crossed a truss with a calculator ...

... so now you can count on your own support.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 1:01:56 PM   
poise


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How does Popeye keep his thingamajig from getting rusty?





He sticks it in Olive Oyl.








_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 1:09:55 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
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Q: How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Can't be done - it's a hardware problem.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 4:58:49 PM   
playfulotter


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What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard i just got laid by a really hot chick!

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/5/2011 5:18:11 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard i just got laid by a really hot chick!


I've just got a new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs.

The birds love it.

(in reply to playfulotter)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/6/2011 3:54:04 PM   
poise


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What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/6/2011 4:02:40 PM   
Icarys


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Peon and RP.

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/6/2011 7:23:04 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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Have you heard about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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