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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/14/2017 4:57:34 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Rene Descartes walks into a bar.

The barman says: "Beer, fella?"

Descartes says: "I think not" and disappears.


Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/14/2017 5:04:05 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/14/2017 5:13:52 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I went to the "Army/Navy" store
to buy some camouflage pants, but I
couldn't find any.


Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/26/2017 9:39:58 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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A guy showed up in the ER last night with 6 plastic horses stuck in his ass.

Doctors described his condition as 'stable'

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/28/2017 9:58:46 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
I've got a friend who's an agoraphobic homosexual: he says isn't ever going to come out of the closet.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 9/28/2017 1:15:19 PM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave and zap it until its bill withers.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to WhoreMods)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 11/16/2017 3:48:34 AM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
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If you ever need a heart transplant, choose that of a TURTLE !

You may not be able to walk as fast afterwards, but you sure will live longer !

(in reply to SadistAndSlave)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 11/18/2017 8:50:53 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
A tattooist was advertising cheap piercings for pirates: he charges a buck an ear.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 11/21/2017 6:01:16 PM   
DommeinRochester


Posts: 80
Joined: 2/9/2012
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What's the difference between pink and purple?


Your grip!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/1/2017 3:22:21 PM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly squats!

_____________________________

Master of the Mystic Arts
Proprieter VerlieƟ Von Strange
Rubber Fetishist
SciFi Fanatic

(in reply to DommeinRochester)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/3/2017 1:21:41 AM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

What's the name of the group who go fire-walking, Sky-diving and bungee jumping on Sundays . . . ??

The Seventh Day Adventurists. . !!

(in reply to DocStrange)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/3/2017 1:31:46 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Q: Why do they only have one-egg omelettes in France?

A: Because, in France, one egg is an oeuf.



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/3/2017 3:52:49 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

The Annual General Meeting of Procrastinators will be held soon. . . they're just not sure when !

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/6/2017 8:23:11 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Q: What is the worst golf foursome to have to play behind?

Answer: Heidi Fleiss (She's a hooker)
O.J. Simpson (He's a slicer)
Bill Clinton (Always playing the wrong hole)
John Kennedy Jr. (He can't make it over the water)



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/6/2017 9:59:03 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

Here's one for drivers.

What are you doing if you GO on red, and STOP at green ??

Eating a watermelon !

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/7/2017 8:27:32 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Did you hear about the two boll weevils?

They were twins and grew up together, on a farm in South Carolina.

When they were old enough to make career choices, one decided to head out West, to Hollyweird. He wanted to pursue his dream of being an actor. He didn't do so well, really, but considering he was an insect, he was able to get roles in exterminator commercials and such and, actually managed to gain some bit of recognition/notoriety.

The second weevil, stayed on the farm, tended his crops, married, had "children" and died, unknown.

This made him the lesser of two weevils.



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/7/2017 9:58:07 AM   
DogGirlOwner


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/14/2009
Status: offline
A noobie Dom meets a girl at a dungeon and they decide to go out to his van for some private play. She tells him she can't orgasm without pain, but he has no toys so he breaks off the aerial antennae from his vav and whips her with it and they have great sex. Unfortunately the "memory marks" are showing below her skirt and won't go away. So she goes to her Doctor and explains the situation. The Dr. examines her and responds: ....


;;



;;;


;;;



;;

"It's worse than I thought, I'm afraid this is the worst case of VanAerial Disease I've ever seen."

(in reply to SadistAndSlave)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/8/2017 5:28:06 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

The New Zealand Navy are teaching sheep to swim underwater. . . with the hope they become Ewe Boats !

(in reply to DogGirlOwner)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/16/2017 2:12:06 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

A woman goes for her annual medical check-up and says ; "I think I'm losing too much weight...."

And the doctor replies ; "WHO SAID THAT ?????"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/17/2017 2:40:22 AM   
CodeOfSilence


Posts: 235
Status: offline
Who is the one man in the world if anyone who could ever trump Trump?

Trump.

(source: )


What was Amy Winehouses most favorite mix?

Coke'n Cola.


A person asked a Genie:

If I could grant you any one wish, what would it be?

Three more wishes. Replied the Genie.


(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 80
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