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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/18/2017 3:47:34 AM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
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Why didn't the sweetcorn answer the phone ?

Because it was in the can !

(Very 'corny').

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/18/2017 6:17:50 AM   
CodeOfSilence


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A++

(in reply to Tangelo)
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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 12/19/2017 10:02:27 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
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Last Friday three men walked into a building. . . . . . . .

You would have thought at LEAST one of them would have seen it !!!

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/4/2018 1:30:47 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

A biologist, an engineer and a mathematician are contacted by the local constabulary to help with surveillance on a house.

When they arrive, they're told the targets of the surveillance are not there. They settle in and take shifts, observing the house.

A man and woman go into the house and they all take notice.

The next morning, a man, a woman, and teen-aged boy leave the house.

The biologist says: "They must have procreated!"

The engineer says: "Obviously, we weren't given the correct parameters for the house!"

The mathematician says: "If one person walks into that house, it'll be empty!"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Three statisticians go bear hunting. After a few hours, they see a bear.

The first hunter shoots and misses, one foot to the left.

The second misses, one foot to the right.

The third jumps up and yells: "We got it!"



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/4/2018 1:47:53 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

If you were to get hit over the head with an abacus, would it hurt ??

Sure would. . . . . you can count on it !!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/9/2018 4:37:54 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

An organised crime hit-man recently confessed to police that he was responsible for the planned assassination, and demise, of a Cninese national in a Shanghai rice field. He openly boasted that all he used was a couple of small, and common, pottery items that he bought cheaply from a second-hand market stall.
An astounded Police Chief said it was the very first time he had heard of an actual 'Knick Knack Paddy Whack !'.

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/11/2018 11:40:41 AM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

Two archeologists on a study tour of Egypt, are lost in the Valley of Kings desert when they hear the sound of a car horn echoing in the distance. They trek almost a mile and, at the bottom of a huge dune, find a 4-wheel drive vehicle, half buried in the sand, with the horn blaring intermittently.

They both stare in stunned amazement before one of them sinks to his knees and screams out elatedly : "We've discovered another tooting car, man !!"

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/14/2018 6:54:59 PM   
Tangelo


Posts: 652
Joined: 8/31/2016
Status: offline

In the U.S Army recently, a male Sergeant was dishonourably discharged from Military Service after undergoing a sex change.

Explaining the reason to the media, shortly after, a top ranking General said: "We just can't have a Sergeant without privates !".

(in reply to Tangelo)
Profile   Post #: 88
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