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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:50:34 PM   
girlygurl


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Status: offline 		Like totally dude, this is the most awesome threads ever! Totally rad!

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:50:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Oh excellent!! But will our clique count since we are real life friends?

Really, there need to be memos for this sort of thing.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 4:53:36 PM   
TotallyDude


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quote:

Like totally dude, this is the most awesome threads ever! Totally rad!


Thanks girl-dude :) I have to say it's a pretty good first effort. Even got some genuine discussion in here from Lady Pact which is a nice bonus!

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:04:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
That's interesting. There is such a high level of frustration among (many) male subbies and such a feeling of urgency and desperation that it's easy to picture this sort of thing happening.

Neither of which I personally find attractive.  I don't think I'm alone in that.

quote:

In my experience there are so few highly desirable, eligible Dominant women available at any given time in a given area that subbie dudes can become quite emotional.

Part of this, in honesty, I blame on the numbers game.  Depending on personality, someone could either see it as challenging or difficult odds.  I have every reason to believe that it could be quite discouraging to some.

quote:

I do wonder what percentage of the guys who get so upset at these situations have been the guys who have put themselves out there and made their best effort to be considered and what percentage were guys who just sat bitterly on the sidelines and got even more bitter when they saw another guy moving into a happy and rewarding dynamic. My guess is that the second group (the group I would consider pussies) is far greater than the first simply because dudes who are willing to put themselves out there know in their hearts that someday they will end up where they belong.

I'm actually not fond of your use of the word "pussies" and would prefer that you refrain from it.  Pick something else.  Perhaps "not outgoing" or "not proactive" would be more appropriate.

You're new (at least the screen name is new) so you're probably not aware of My position on this.  I'm pretty out there as far as trying to encourage submissive males not to take the 'sit back and wait' approach.  Absolutely not on the net where the numbers are really out of balance.  Doing so makes for a long wait.  (Both sides of the kneel on that one, too.  The net is a female's market.)

Had clip not been pro-active, he wouldn't be collared to Me today.  Shy is one thing and I know some folks are, but it doesn't mesh with Me if shyness is the obstacle that prevents people from doing things. 


Edited because I screwed up the quotes.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/30/2011 5:05:42 PM >

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:08:02 PM   
Daddysredhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh excellent!! But will our clique count since we are real life friends?

Really, there need to be memos for this sort of thing.


Oh geez... here you go mixing reality into everything. *sigh*

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:08:45 PM   
LanceHughes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
Hibbie, I only posted once and didn't read the thread but saw that there is mention of an uber-type clique and "Mean Girls." I think we could qualify for both since we have met in person and played, and we proclaim our meanness in our sig lines. (And I was aware of your "meanness" and being "not sorry" last May) Just sayin...

 
AH, good.... the first of the talking amongst the Clique, ignoring the OP.  That's the signal for the death of the string, right?  LOL!

I'll put up a brave attempt to keep it going.  HEY! OP, I'll wager you've not meet half the gay, male subbies I have. Who gives you the right to give them a "pass" on being wusses, pussies, and the like?
   

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 1/30/2011 5:11:40 PM >

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:13:40 PM   
TotallyDude


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quote:

I'll put up a brave attempt to keep it going.  HEY! OP, I'll wager you've not meet half the gay, male subbies I have. Who gives you the right to give them a "pass" on being wusses, pussies, and the like?


You look....mature and quite studly so I'd wager I haven't known a tenth of the gay subs you've known so that's a fair cop. All I can say is the ones I do know are pretty awesome for the most part.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:17:04 PM   
TotallyDude


Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
Status: offline 		You've been an awesome sport and also contributed to this thread, so I'm willing to refer to the personality type as "wimps." I think that word retains most of the connotation I'm trying to get across. Though I can't promise to never in the future slip up and use the p word I will make an effort not to do so. Old habits die hard.

The rest of Your post seems astute. I am sure it is mostly an issue of the numbers game combined with geographical factors and also taking into account that, as J Geils so eloquently put it, "Love stinks" at times.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:17:43 PM   
ShaharThorne


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Status: offline 		Another whiny thread....I guess I get a shot of rum and get back to crocheting.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:26:05 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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From: United Kingdom
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Skimmed thread very fast, have one pedantic piece of semantics to point out:

The question form 'why is x true?' contains an implied statement that x is true. Which makes it functionally a statement.

The OP consisted almost exclusively of questions composed in that form.

Just sayin'.

(ETA: actually, *is* that semantics? Or is it syntax? Now I'm unsure.)

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 1/30/2011 5:27:09 PM >

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:40:23 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Ok, if you look at the substance of the original question...why does a certain group of people act in a certain way,I think part of the answer of why male submissives act in a certain way is because they see it in porn. Which is basically all that many of them know. There aren't enough Dommes to go around, sub men tend to frequent porn to get their groove on in the absence of a RL encounter. The 'whiny pussy' behavior is perhaps what they are seeing and they think this is what they should do. Funny thing is that porn is a male driven and created industry. Other men are the ones putting out the stereotypical dialogue and behavior.

Honestly the original question was worded in an inflammatory way, you reap what you sow OP. If you wanted discussion you should have done things differently. You seem to like poking at people and then claiming that they're all wrong when they call you on it. It's not a worthy pursuit when you are supposedly all grown up.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:45:30 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline
We know you were trying to score points with posting a smackdown. We're calling shenanigans and on ya.
In the meantime, oooh, yes, show your alleged friends your entire tirade to strangers here. We'll await their humanist responses.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

quote:

'men' who think it's ok to use words like pussy in a pejorative sense [I'll wait while you look it up; I'll just hum Jeopardy music], b*tch or c*nt, like the New Jersey dudes you probably honour and obey, don't like women.


Hmm. I'm curious, do you genuinely consider "pussy" as bad as the b or the c word or are you trying to score points here (on the internet!)?Most of my friends tend to be okay with "pussy" (and even use it themselves pejoratively) but they tend to be 3rd wave feminists who really dig that post-structuralist jive and you may see things differently.



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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:53:20 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

See I'm getting concerned for you now because I can't tell if you're arguing in good faith or not. I'm like, "Shit, bro, can he really not see the difference between subbie dudes (on the internet) and gay dudes in the 60s?"


Gawd, this argument is so circular a circle looks square by comparison.

One last try. Pretending that you can't read isn't going to help your case. Look to see where I put the words in bold . . . .

"TD, sorry, but you brought the analogy on yourself. It fits because you used the same habits of mind that were prevalent back then. You came across like the standard bollocks-for-brains that wandered around swallowing every prejudice that was going around during those days." The thing that I'm referring to is not the effect but the *cause*. I think you're intelligent enough to grasp this, but are pretending not to see it. There's Godwin's Law, and now we have the *accusation* of Godwin's law. I'm not sure which is worse for any forum discussion.

The lazy-minded prejudicial frame of mind that swam around back then is still around now. It's the parent of all the crap that ends up being dumped at the door of one group or another. It always has been and always will be. I can, and do, dislike that habit of mind for its own sake alone, and regardless of its effects. If you can carry on squeezing out the occasional bit of evidence, as you've been trying to do since your first post, you might just redeem yourself a bit.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 1/30/2011 5:58:42 PM >

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 5:58:05 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

The question form 'why is x true?' contains an implied statement that x is true. Which makes it functionally a statement.


Why *are* you going to come round with a shotgun to shoot me in the face because you hate me on account of you're female and females are man-hating psychopaths?'

See, that was a question, so no woman here can have a go at me for the implication. Ner! Ner and neeners!!

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:00:30 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
See, that was a question, so no woman here can have a go at me for the implication. Ner! Ner and neeners!!


"When did you stop beating your wife?"*

*although that doesn't work as well around these parts :)

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:00:37 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Why *are* you going to come round with a shotgun to shoot me in the face because you hate me on account of you're female and females are man-hating psychopaths?'

See, that was a question, so no woman here can have a go at me for the implication. Ner! Ner and neeners!!

Because I hate you on account of I'm female and females are man-hating psychopaths.

Duh.

(I can't quite make myself send that as is, though. There's enough crap spewed on these boards. The men I surround myself with are pretty fucking cool, tbh.)

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:00:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Ok, if you look at the substance of the original question...why does a certain group of people act in a certain way,I think part of the answer of why male submissives act in a certain way is because they see it in porn. Which is basically all that many of them know. There aren't enough Dommes to go around, sub men tend to frequent porn to get their groove on in the absence of a RL encounter. The 'whiny pussy' behavior is perhaps what they are seeing and they think this is what they should do. Funny thing is that porn is a male driven and created industry. Other men are the ones putting out the stereotypical dialogue and behavior.


There is absolutely truth in this.  The stereotypical crap in porn is what lead some males to behave this way when they are taking their first steps into moving from fantasy to real life.  Granted, it is some people's kink and you have to make allowances for that.  However, what most males find when they are making their transition from fantasy to reality, they find out pretty quick that a number of Dominant women want nothing to do with the porn inspired belief that some males start out with in their head.  At munches and such, it really doesn't last long, especially when they notice that the Dominant women aren't interested in them.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:11:32 PM   
StuntmanMike


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
There is absolutely truth in this.  The stereotypical crap in porn is what lead some males to behave this way when they are taking their first steps into moving from fantasy to real life.  Granted, it is some people's kink and you have to make allowances for that.  However, what most males find when they are making their transition from fantasy to reality, they find out pretty quick that a number of Dominant women want nothing to do with the porn inspired belief that some males start out with in their head.  At munches and such, it really doesn't last long, especially when they notice that the Dominant women aren't interested in them.


So it seems that understanding is reached through confrontation after all.

quote:


There is absolutely truth in this.  The stereotypical crap in porn is what lead some males to behave this way when they are taking their first steps into moving from fantasy to real life.  Granted, it is some people's kink and you have to make allowances for that.  However, what most males find when they are making their transition from fantasy to reality, they find out pretty quick that a number of Dominant women want nothing to do with the porn inspired belief that some males start out with in their head.  At munches and such, it really doesn't last long, especially when they notice that the Dominant women aren't interested in them.


Sounds like despite the fact that the OP didn't ask his question the exact way others would want him to, he ended up getting at least a couple of valid, thoughtful answers.

OP: Don't change yourself for anyone. Do what you do and others will either like you for your honesty or despite it. Don't let anyone else tell you how to be.

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:14:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StuntmanMike
So it seems that understanding is reached through confrontation after all.

Sounds like despite the fact that the OP didn't ask his question the exact way others would want him to, he ended up getting at least a couple of valid, thoughtful answers.

OP: Don't change yourself for anyone. Do what you do and others will either like you for your honesty or despite it. Don't let anyone else tell you how to be.


I think there is a difference between folks who have never been submissive in a relationship going to a munch for a first time who make that mistake, rather than a blanket description for the general population of submissive men.  Something that lasts for a few hours, rather than a lifetime.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Why are sub dudes such pussies? - 1/30/2011 6:18:38 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
Hibbie, I only posted once and didn't read the thread but saw that there is mention of an uber-type clique and "Mean Girls." I think we could qualify for both since we have met in person and played, and we proclaim our meanness in our sig lines. (And I was aware of your "meanness" and being "not sorry" last May) Just sayin...

 
AH, good.... the first of the talking amongst the Clique, ignoring the OP.  That's the signal for the death of the string, right?  LOL!

I'll put up a brave attempt to keep it going.  HEY! OP, I'll wager you've not meet half the gay, male subbies I have. Who gives you the right to give them a "pass" on being wusses, pussies, and the like?
   



Well Lance, you forgot to Bless his heart.


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Take the pleasure
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Profile   Post #: 120
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