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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 2:21:08 PM

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From: Pyroaquatica
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See... I always think profiles are too damned short but that is what gets me to message them in the first place.

Certainly all submissive-types have the capability of become slaves under the discretion of a Dominant-type. It strikes me as odd though....

Slaves would not have the money to pay for this 'slave-training' in the first place. Is a slave really a slave without a Master?

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 4:51:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hi

Are there as many male subs as everyone says? It is said that there are many more male slaves compared to the number of Mistresses but does that theory take into consideration how many of those male subs are "bedroom only slaves" or switches? Just how many male subs out there do you think are real submissives who love obeying and submitting to a Mistress? (Here's hoping they do exist and we can find them.)

AforS,

Assuming - I think generously - that your OP wasn't just an advert for your website (wow - £1.67 per hour does indeed sound like a bargain!):

I'm afraid that it *is* true that certain sorts of submales aren't able to conceive of a D/s relationship in which the sub pays the Domme. I'm one of them. The problem is very fundamental: I can't wrap my head around the idea of my paying a mistress to own me. The illogic of that is so blatant and so powerful that it destroys any submissive feelings I may have towards any given woman. If I pay someone for something, then she is providing a service to me. She is therefore a servant. Crystal is mud by comparison. Any arguments I've seen - and I've seen most - about 'true subs realising that they should Tribute their dommes' and 'Goddesses being worth their upkeep', etc, etc - won't even touch that. You might as well try to convince me that I'd like to be the sub of a male. It's not going to happen.

If you want to find a 'true slave', howsoever you define that, you'll need to present yourself as an authentic woman rather than some fantasy figure. (For a start, fill in your profile. I need to know what makes a woman tick. I need to know that I can talk to her, that she has a sense of humour, and so on.) And even after you've done all that, it still isn't easy - because, as you know full well, the world is full of men pretending to be 'true subs'.

In short, if you want a true slave, you're going to have to work at it. Merely arranging the perfect pout on your lips; getting the right boots, basque and plastic surgeon; won't cut it outside of the pro-domme world. Somewhere inside of you is a real woman and not a just a wank-figure. You have to connect with her.

I hope that helps.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/5/2011 5:07:48 PM >

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 5:10:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
AforS,
Assuming - I think generously - that your OP wasn't just an advert for your website (wow - £1.67 per hour does indeed sound like a bargain!):
I'm afraid that it *is* true that certain sorts of submales aren't able to conceive of a D/s relationship in which the sub pays the Domme. I'm one of them. The problem is very fundamental: I can't wrap my head around the idea of my paying a mistress to own me. The illogic of that is so blatant and so powerful that it destroys any submissive feelings I may have towards any given woman. If I pay someone for something, then she is providing a service to me. She is therefore a servant. Crystal is mud by comparison. Any arguments I've seen - and I've seen most - about 'true subs realising that they should Tribute their dommes' and 'Goddesses being worth their upkeep', etc, etc - won't even touch that. You might as well try to convince me that I'd like to be the sub of a male. It's not going to happen.
If you want to find a 'true slave', howsoever you define that, you'll need to present yourself as an authentic woman rather than some fantasy figure. (For a start, fill in your profile. I need to know what makes a woman tick. I need to know that I can talk to her, that she has a sense of humour, and so on.) And even after you've done all that, it still isn't easy - because, as you know full well, the world is full of men pretending to be 'true subs'.

In short, if you want a true slave, you're going to have to work at it. Merely arranging the perfect pout on your lips; getting the right boots, basque and plastic surgeon; won't cut it outside of the pro-domme world. Somewhere inside of you is a real woman and not a just a wank-figure. You have to connect with her.

I hope that helps.

100 % agreed
nice & well spoken my friend
M

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 5:11:47 PM

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You know, you'd think anybody who is charging for lifestyle training should know just a little something about the BDSM community and what's out there. Just saying.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 5:28:00 PM

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In english please

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 5:35:55 PM

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There is nothing wrong with the above statement. It is completely able to be comprehended exactly as written.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ashjor911)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 5:54:37 PM

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If you have anything to say ..... say it dont be scared I dont bite..... If you are scared just leave it at there
Sleep on it Dear will see it tomorrow
I am going to bed now its almost 3:50 am.

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my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 6:00:42 PM

Posts: 32566
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Maybe it's your lack of sleep that doesn't allow you to understand.

The OP is a professional who works for a fem domme website. In My opinion, anybody who is charging for any kind of service related to BDSM should know something about their local kink community and what the numbers are like out there. The fact that she had to come to the internet to ask such a question in the first place shows her lack knowledge on the matter. It's like a carpenter not knowing where to buy different types of wood.

Believe Me. I'm not scared. We see rude folks come on threads all of the time just to start a fuss with the Dommes here. I've seen you do the same on some threads in other sections and then blame external issues. You couldn't bother Me on a good day. Keep that in mind and sleep well.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ashjor911)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/5/2011 9:20:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
after a quick glace at your profile, I would have to say the impression given is one of short, quick anger and an attitude that leads me to believe you have more than a few issues with both women and CollarMe. I always find it interesting to see how people change over time, in regards to their profile and journal entries, here on CM.

what you believe is yours
but thank you for proving my point in as my profile was short you did a quick glace.... & you did not read it all

I did read your profile, I just didn't view your complete profile. That would explain why it would appear as if I didn't read it. By simply typing in either a portion or the full screen name, a person's profile can be viewed on the main page. Yours was so short, I didn't need to click on "view profile" to read it unlike others who choose to write a longer profile.

A quick glance was enough as I don't care to read your list of likes/loves and whatnot.

quote:

PS: people DONT change ................... house MD
they adapt to new inviroments .......ash.jor

Interesting. If I remember correctly, you had "Female supremacy" listed as one of your likes and now you make it quite clear you feel the very opposite. Was this due to a change within you or your envirnoment?

quote:

by saying:(Some of the users in this network english is not their mother tounge dont make the lerning process much harder by posting a long damn profile)
tell me how to enable spell check in READING a damn long Sunday Times

If the profile is too difficult for you to read, move on to the next. Easy peasy. If, however, you are interested in reading what the person has to say, I would suggest you do what I do at times when I'm faced with written material that is not in English or in a language I don't speak or understand...I run it through Bing Translator. While it may not be 100% perfect, I'm usually able to get the jist of what's being said.

quote:

In my case as you may seen that i have posted my profile in English with no help of the (spell check) thank you
M

Yes, it was due to the 2 specifice spelling errors that I was able to see your lack of spell check usage.

Some of us are just that anal-retentive.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 3/5/2011 9:28:39 PM >

(in reply to ashjor911)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 6:00:13 AM

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BonesFromAsh
If there is 2 specifice spelling errors can you please show them to me please.
Just enjoying My late morning coffee 4:00 PM

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 7:10:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911

If there is 2 specifice spelling errors can you please show them to me please.

You're a big boy, I'm sure if you wanted, you could identify and correct the errors (one being rather obvious and the other simply based on interpretation) yourself.

Coffee would seem to be a universal pleasure....I'm off to enjoy my own mid-morning cafe au lait.

(in reply to ashjor911)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 7:56:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
Coffee would seem to be a universal pleasure....I'm off to enjoy my own mid-morning cafe au lait.

Yes Indeed

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 11:45:28 AM

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I'm afraid that it *is* true that certain sorts of submales aren't able to conceive of a D/s relationship in which the sub pays the Domme. I'm one of them. The problem is very fundamental: I can't wrap my head around the idea of my paying a mistress to own me. The illogic of that is so blatant and so powerful that it destroys any submissive feelings I may have towards any given woman. If I pay someone for something, then she is providing a service to me. She is therefore a servant. Crystal is mud by comparison. Any arguments I've seen - and I've seen most - about 'true subs realising that they should Tribute their dommes' and 'Goddesses being worth their upkeep', etc, etc - won't even touch that.

In my poly group, it's more like each contributing according to their ability. Some people have more time and less money, others have more money and less time, so we distribute it around with the end goal of everyone in the family being happy and healthy. I am not interested in micromanaging another adult's money or stuff, but I set general guidelines and goals for the household and make decisions on the important stuff. Works for us. It's not exactly a tribute model, but it could be seen that way.

If you expect to be in a relationship or in a family - any kind really, not just D/s - you need to be prepared to pull your weight and contribute according to your ability and what you have available. If you're not, whether that's because you're untrusting, overly self-focused, unrealistic, inhibited by the mindset you describe, etc, then you aren't a family member that anyone else can count on. And you're not someone I'd want in my family if this was true of you.

I get that it makes sense not to want to pay a professional. That's fine. But if you actually are owned, if you are part of a family of choice, contributing financially is not an unreasonable expectation. You certainly have a nice ass, but if that's all you're offering, then you're no more than a casual play partner.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 12:03:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainerIn my poly group, it's more like each contributing according to their ability. Some people have more time and less money, others have more money and less time, so we distribute it around with the end goal of everyone in the family being happy and healthy. I am not interested in micromanaging another adult's money or stuff, but I set general guidelines and goals for the household and make decisions on the important stuff. Works for us. It's not exactly a tribute model, but it could be seen that way.

Odd. I wouldn't remotely call that a 'tribute model'. Or if it is, then it's not a tribute model to which I'd have any objection.

quote:

I get that it makes sense not to want to pay a professional. That's fine. But if you actually are owned, if you are part of a family of choice, contributing financially is not an unreasonable expectation. You certainly have a nice ass, but if that's all you're offering, then you're no more than a casual play partner.

I also have very agreeable elbows and I'm told that my nose can look acceptable in certain light-conditions, too.

Seriously: of course contributing financially to a family (or to a partnership, for that matter) is entirely reasonable.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/6/2011 12:04:11 PM >

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 2:12:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I get that it makes sense not to want to pay a professional. That's fine. But if you actually are owned, if you are part of a family of choice, contributing financially is not an unreasonable expectation.

Of course it isn't - but that's the *relationship* he'd be contributing to, not the actual Domme herself. Two different things.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 2:46:06 PM

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exactly

quote:

ORIGINAL: submgreenbay

I don't think anyone will ever be able to accurately predict the ratio.

Perhaps the problem is most Mistresses are not actively "finding them." They are simply waiting to be contacted by them.

If that makes any sense.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 2:47:06 PM

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so what is a scam website? why would a prodomme have to be a scam? i find that positively retarded

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

If you think there is a lack of male slaves, just lower the prices on your scam website.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 2:53:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Of course it isn't - but that's the *relationship* he'd be contributing to, not the actual Domme herself. Two different things.

IMO there is only a difference if you're talking about a fairly distant relationship where you're not really a big part of each other's day to day lives. Eg, you aren't paying bills together, you don't cook and eat most meals together at home, you don't do most of your vanilla activities together, etc. I am not quite sure how an Owner/property relationship could work if you have such substantially separate lives that the needs of the individuals and the needs of the relationship are drastically compartmentalized.

If I call someone "owned", I'm either living with them or we spend so much time together that I might as well be. There may be folks who have other definitions of "owned", but if I'm using that word, then we're definitely talking about a shared household and family situation where I'm not really keeping my personal assets separate.

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 3:14:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Odd. I wouldn't remotely call that a 'tribute model'. Or if it is, then it's not a tribute model to which I'd have any objection.

Since it involves men I own giving me money, I guess it counts. *shrug* In our case it's simply about everyone contributing to the basic and boring household expenses. If I were to take on a non live in houseboy who ate one or two meals with us a week and used the play space one or two times a week, I wouldn't have him paying the same into the family pot as the two who live here and eat all their meals here. But I would surely expect him to be contributing *something*. Work or skill possibly, if he didn't have money. If he had more money than time, and if he was a solid enough part of the family for me to consider him "owned", then yeah, he'd be paying "tribute" according to his ability and his use of family resources, and receiving in accordance with his needs.

If you're familiar with Heinlein's work, the business models of the poly families and line marriages depicted in Friday and some of his other works are actually pretty solid. Romance is nice, but making sure the bills get paid and everyone is fairly pulling their weight is what keeps the family stable in the long term.

quote:

I also have very agreeable elbows and I'm told that my nose can look acceptable in certain light-conditions, too.

Pics or I don't believe you.

quote:

Seriously: of course contributing financially to a family (or to a partnership, for that matter) is entirely reasonable.

Which is what confused me about your statement about paying to be owned. If you were actually for-real owned, how would you *not* be in a family or partnership or household that had day to day operating expenses?

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RE: Lack of male slaves - 3/6/2011 3:41:18 PM

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OK, let's put it this way: assuming that I pay X to a pro-domme for her services as my owner in our shared house, she will then pay me X for my being her pro-sub. So that amount, X, is cancelled out. The other options for me would be a) neither she nor I are 'pros' or b) we don't have a relationship, nor live together.

Contributions to the upkeep of the household, and in proportion to need, ability to pay, level of usage etc etc, are something else again - and they are, as I've agreed, perfectly reasonable.

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