RE: Self-harm and masochism

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/9/2011 3:06:03 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Exactly my point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

well that depends on your definition of extreme, which is a completely subjective word. =p

Your definition and my perception will rarely coincide. The differences are evident from the start. Neither party should be surprised that the other won't agree.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/9/2011 3:52:46 PM

ChainedExistence

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A number of years ago, I was a cutter. Unlike what others have said, I never experienced any kind of endorphin rush from it. My life was in turmoil at the time, and cutting felt like a way to prove to myself that I wasn't dead. I would cut until the effort exhausted me...and that would only come after I carved myself up like a Thanksgiving turkey-cutting my arms, my thighs, my hips, my stomach, my breasts. The only thing it seemed to do was keep me from killing myself. There was blood, there was pain, I was alive, and I would be forced to get up, clean the blood off my body, and get through another day. If it gave me anything, it gave me some sense of control over my uncontrolled life. I was definitely aware that no one would understand it, and that I needed to be secretive about it. Cutting was a solitary and lonely thing. It was desperation, and did nothing to improve my life. At best, I was surviving. It only stopped after the secret was out, and I spent some time with a great counselor. While we never talked directly about the cutting, dealing with the issues that triggered it helped. I can't really see the how the things I do now relate other than the fact that both involve some pain and marks. I enjoy the play I am involved in. I laugh, I sometimes cry, but all in all, it feels loving. I feel closer to Master, I feel happy and fulfilled. I am not "getting through" another day- I am living my life. I didn't cut because I relished the pain, and I didn't get involved in BDSM because I craved the feelings that cutting gave me. I am sure there are people who cut for entirely different reasons, and maybe for them, BDSM and cutting aren't that far apart. But for me, they couldn't be more different.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/9/2011 4:57:48 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

A number of years ago, I was a cutter. Unlike what others have said, I never experienced any kind of endorphin rush from it. My life was in turmoil at the time, and cutting felt like a way to prove to myself that I wasn't dead. I would cut until the effort exhausted me...and that would only come after I carved myself up like a Thanksgiving turkey-cutting my arms, my thighs, my hips, my stomach, my breasts. The only thing it seemed to do was keep me from killing myself. There was blood, there was pain, I was alive, and I would be forced to get up, clean the blood off my body, and get through another day. If it gave me anything, it gave me some sense of control over my uncontrolled life. I was definitely aware that no one would understand it, and that I needed to be secretive about it. Cutting was a solitary and lonely thing. It was desperation, and did nothing to improve my life. At best, I was surviving. It only stopped after the secret was out, and I spent some time with a great counselor. While we never talked directly about the cutting, dealing with the issues that triggered it helped. I can't really see the how the things I do now relate other than the fact that both involve some pain and marks. I enjoy the play I am involved in. I laugh, I sometimes cry, but all in all, it feels loving. I feel closer to Master, I feel happy and fulfilled. I am not "getting through" another day- I am living my life. I didn't cut because I relished the pain, and I didn't get involved in BDSM because I craved the feelings that cutting gave me. I am sure there are people who cut for entirely different reasons, and maybe for them, BDSM and cutting aren't that far apart. But for me, they couldn't be more different.

I hear this. And I understand exactly how your cutting made you feel in control. To the same extent and to the same degree I had a spate of bulimia. The prging part of the cyvle made me feel in control of the uncontrollable. In the midst of the worst turnoil, at that age, at least I could have a ritual, feel something, and control what had, only a few hours before, felt out of control.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/9/2011 7:25:00 PM

susanhisslave

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i feel a little bit intimidated by the fact most posters have hundreds or thousands of posts, but here goes anyway.

i am a certified (or so my therapist said) masochist. That being said, i don't see pain as something i want to do to myself to get. i do get aroused, to the point of climax by being subjected to it by my Master! (Husband!). Now is that "self harm" as in cutting? Probably not, but i do have welts and tracks from the cane. i would probably go a lot farther (bloody welts) than my Master! will take me, but that is his choice, not mine.

As for self mutilation, in the desire for a masochist to inflict pain, back in the day, before my Master! rescued me, i was into "knife play" and would cut myself. Interestingly enough that did nothing for me as it was not painful, i just bled.

So how does one connect pain with self harm? Perhaps if one took a hot iron to their flesh, then that would be painful & make permanent marks. Or suspend themselves until pain cause them to pass out, but would that be "self harm".

As i said, i'm new here, but have been a masochist for as long as i can remember, which goes back 50+ years.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/9/2011 11:46:49 PM

CherryNeko

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Yes. You answered your own question. It may have to do with the pain too, you know?
For the record (because now it may be irrelevant)... I used to cut, but then it grew useless so I started a light form of... fire play? but it may be connected, because I haven't done it (surprisingly) lately. Lately meaning, since I'm His sub.
When HE cuts me, cause he did this one time, it's totally different.
Oh, also. It's not only release, it's tranquility. Release is what grows periodically, but tranquility is what stays floating around when it's over.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 2:42:13 AM

ranja

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I have picked scabs of wounds and kept them open as did many other children in my class, also bit my arms and refused to wear gloves in mid winter ending up with numb hands
I have walked with bad blisters on my feet due to shoes a size or two too small... never mind the uncomfortable sky high heels i managed to look good on in my teens
I pierced my own ears
I have felt immense pleasure pushing my body further than i thought i could go in sports, especially swimming
and now dancing.... though i never wear shoes that are a bad fit anymore

To me pain in that way is a very personal... even totally selfish thing, it is what i do and what i want with my body.
and as long as i don't become so selfish that it becomes an obsession i think i am fine

so yes i am a bit of a masochist...
however it is more difficult to take pain He dishes out... as i am the one feeling it so i feel that i am better at dosing it on my own body... like applying pegs... i know exactly where to put them, how to put them and how hard or careful to take them off
It is not easy for Him to give me as much pain as i can give myself without going that bit too far... which would be fine if between us there would be no sexual aspect... but for the sexual aspect to work too much pain is a turn off...

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 9:12:08 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

We have a current thread right now that addresses a medical concern by a self professed binge and purger.

I couldn't find this - would someone be so kind as to provide a link?

Thanks,

KK

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 9:40:20 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I couldn't find this - would someone be so kind as to provide a link?

Here you go... Left field question

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 9:47:27 AM

kalikshama

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ty!

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 10:20:16 AM

Englishwoman

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Thankyou all for your answers.
Sekf-harn and nasichism kind of popped up in my head together,
I have never cut as salf-harming.
It's the cycle of anxiety then release that I find fascinating.
Actions which resolve the anxiety seem to have a 'seasonal' pattern about them and
although most? many? self-harm as an act of isolation there does seem to ne a social aspect to what behaviours take place.
The bulimic phase of eating disorder is learned. I suppose it's Chinese whispers that is part of the legitimisation process.

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RE: Self-harm and masochism - 3/10/2011 5:32:02 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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It's apparent there are a number of different reasons and motivations behind both Masochism and self injury. Also, other factors such as shame or lack of shame involved. Not Everybody who inflicts self-injury desires nor has a thirst for pain as being the release. The act itself is the actual release. On the other hand, pain can be and is the release for some people engaging in self injury.

If anything, I believe it's best to judge individuals as just that individual people. Get to know them better on the personal level and make makes them tick, not what you think makes ALL Masochist or self Harmer's tick. People are doing very similar things, marching along to the beats of different drummers. Sure some people are sharing the same drummer, but not everybody has the exact same drummer.

For some people... both self injury and Masochism go hand and in hand. However, for some people it does not. I'm certain the patterns and motivation are not limitless, however we are dealing with a bit of a range here. Simply proclaiming everything in some Black-n-White context is doomed to fail logical rationalization and pave way for misunderstandings to occur.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 3/10/2011 5:33:12 PM >

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