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RE: self-destructive subs - 4/24/2011 6:50:05 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

subbykat this is not really an old thread. 2 weeks is not a long time to be in a remission for depression.

It is long enough to show a dramatic mood swing from one extreme to the other, which isn't depression at all, but bipolarity. I am not saying this is what is going on with the OP, but it is a different sort of animal than your garden variety depressive state. Only a medical professional can diagnose it....

Oh please spare me the diagnosis...I was down for like 2 days. That doesn't make me "clinically depressed"...What's wrong with you people wanting to put everything into a little box? I must give your boring lives something to talk about. Now knock yourselves out with your psycho...anal...isis.

I'm out of here.

I said point blank my comment was not about you. It is interesting that you chose to look at it that way.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/24/2011 6:58:28 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Being suicidal is not the same as being down for a couple of days. And the extreme mood swings you exhibit does have the earmarks of bipolar. Considering the anger you also exhibit, I would suggest that you be evaluated for bipolar II, mixed states. It exhibits quite differently from the classical manic depression.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/24/2011 12:12:33 PM

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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If i were psychoanalyzing you i would ask about the dark past you refer to several times.

We are discussing about possibilities that exist for you and many other people in this world. Take the advice or don't. That is up to you subbykat.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/25/2011 6:16:37 PM

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Being suicidal is not the same as being down for a couple of days. And the extreme mood swings you exhibit does have the earmarks of bipolar. Considering the anger you also exhibit, I would suggest that you be evaluated for bipolar II, mixed states. It exhibits quite differently from the classical manic depression.

I would suggest you be evaluated for chronic cranial rectumitis...ROFL!

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/25/2011 9:02:03 PM

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Being suicidal is not the same as being down for a couple of days. And the extreme mood swings you exhibit does have the earmarks of bipolar. Considering the anger you also exhibit, I would suggest that you be evaluated for bipolar II, mixed states. It exhibits quite differently from the classical manic depression.

I'm bipolar. And so is the Earth.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/25/2011 9:03:03 PM >

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/26/2011 6:50:27 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You just can't let it go, can you?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/27/2011 4:37:50 AM

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

You just can't let it go, can you?

No...It's not ME. It's the Mental Disorders. Lol.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/27/2011 4:39:00 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/27/2011 5:24:03 PM

Posts: 28
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: Wilmington, DE
Status: offline

Honestly? I think that you have to be a very strong person to be a sub, probably stronger [mentally] than your dom!
Being constantly degraded/humiliated for sex can be depressing.
You have to have a good mental and personal relationship with your dom, and I think it's best to get to know your dom and love them for a person before you introduce bdsm into a relationship.

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/27/2011 5:36:17 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Not every one who's kinky does degradation and humiliation. If that's what you view as being dominated entails, that's fine, but it's not the bag of treats for every one.

My Dom and now my Daddy never degraded me or humiliated me. It's simply not in our bag of play time tricks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KayxSlut

Honestly? I think that you have to be a very strong person to be a sub, probably stronger [mentally] than your dom!
Being constantly degraded/humiliated for sex can be depressing.
You have to have a good mental and personal relationship with your dom, and I think it's best to get to know your dom and love them for a person before you introduce bdsm into a relationship.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to KayxSlut)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/27/2011 6:18:48 PM

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KayxSlut

Honestly? I think that you have to be a very strong person to be a sub, probably stronger [mentally] than your dom!
Being constantly degraded/humiliated for sex can be depressing.
You have to have a good mental and personal relationship with your dom, and I think it's best to get to know your dom and love them for a person before you introduce bdsm into a relationship.

Hmm i cannot say that i agree with you here KayxSlut. I think my Master is stronger mentally than i am and i do not find being degraded or humiliated to be depressing (i AM one of the people that has this aspect in their relationship). I do not take the humiliation that he administers personal. If he calls me a "worthless piece of cunt", i know that he means it though i also know that i am more than just that. I am much more complex than that as is he.

I think that for some people it works to have an established relationship before bringing in bdsm though i do not think that this is a norm. I know that bdsm was in place in my relationship right from the start which is nice for us. I know there are others also that have instituted bdsm at the onset of their relationship. That does not mean that there are no vanilla aspect to the relationship though.

(in reply to KayxSlut)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/27/2011 7:58:16 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KayxSlut

Honestly? I think that you have to be a very strong person to be a sub, probably stronger [mentally] than your dom!
Being constantly degraded/humiliated for sex can be depressing.
You have to have a good mental and personal relationship with your dom, and I think it's best to get to know your dom and love them for a person before you introduce bdsm into a relationship.

If I found a relationship left me depressed, I wouldn't be in it. If something doesn't satisfy you, why are you doing it?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KayxSlut)

RE: self-destructive subs - 4/30/2011 5:29:52 PM

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Joined: 4/25/2011
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Well...self-destructive behaviors is my middle name. I could ramble on here about self-destructive behaviors with which I have engaged since I knew I HAD a self. Hey, how about that for all the Doms who say they want an introspective, intelligent slave or sub? It is who we are. If we weren't self-destructive, would we even BE in this lifestyle? Honestly, but naively, from my own interest. I am NOT criticizing anyone here. But let's be honest...we can talk until the sun comes up about how strong submissives and slaves are, how to be owned or controlled is to realize freedom...yes, preaching to the choir. But what makes US different from YOU? What makes US different from vanilla? Even if we do not desire to be used, humiliated, objectified, offered as meat...isn't the entire premise here self-destruction on some level? Hasn't it always been since we understood who we are? Hasn't it always been since we understood our destiny?

(in reply to VirginPotty)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 6:36:57 AM

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Joined: 4/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WillowBayU

Well...self-destructive behaviors is my middle name. I could ramble on here about self-destructive behaviors with which I have engaged since I knew I HAD a self. Hey, how about that for all the Doms who say they want an introspective, intelligent slave or sub? It is who we are. If we weren't self-destructive, would we even BE in this lifestyle? Honestly, but naively, from my own interest. I am NOT criticizing anyone here. But let's be honest...we can talk until the sun comes up about how strong submissives and slaves are, how to be owned or controlled is to realize freedom...yes, preaching to the choir. But what makes US different from YOU? What makes US different from vanilla? Even if we do not desire to be used, humiliated, objectified, offered as meat...isn't the entire premise here self-destruction on some level? Hasn't it always been since we understood who we are? Hasn't it always been since we understood our destiny?

I guess if you can't embrace being the human footstool or the doormat so to speak, D/s relationships aren't for you...

(in reply to WillowBayU)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 9:56:20 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WillowBayU
If we weren't self-destructive, would we even BE in this lifestyle?
But let's be honest...we can talk until the sun comes up about how
strong submissives and slaves are, how to be owned or controlled is
to realize freedom...yes, preaching to the choir. Even if we do not desire
to be used, humiliated, objectified, offered as meat...isn't the entire premise
here self-destruction on some level? Hasn't it always been since we understood
who we are? Hasn't it always been since we understood our destiny?

Uhmmm....no.

I can't think of a single moment in my life where I wanted to hurt myself, be
it physically or emotionally. If I am to offer myself to anyone, I'm going to make
darned certain that I am offering the best that I can be.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to WillowBayU)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 7:01:51 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

I guess if you can't embrace being the human footstool or the doormat so to speak, D/s relationships aren't for you...

Yeah...maybe. Thanks for the insight but I was not under the impression that there is one way to have a D/s relationship. But I'll keep it in mind.

< Message edited by WillowBayU -- 5/1/2011 7:03:27 PM >

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 7:05:09 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: WillowBayU
If we weren't self-destructive, would we even BE in this lifestyle?
But let's be honest...we can talk until the sun comes up about how
strong submissives and slaves are, how to be owned or controlled is
to realize freedom...yes, preaching to the choir. Even if we do not desire
to be used, humiliated, objectified, offered as meat...isn't the entire premise
here self-destruction on some level? Hasn't it always been since we understood
who we are? Hasn't it always been since we understood our destiny?

Uhmmm....no.
I can't think of a single moment in my life where I wanted to hurt myself, be
it physically or emotionally. If I am to offer myself to anyone, I'm going to make
darned certain that I am offering the best that I can be.

Thanks, poise. You make a good point and I'll keep it in mind as I learn more.

(in reply to poise)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 7:14:02 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat

I guess if you can't embrace being the human footstool or the doormat so to speak, D/s relationships aren't for you...

Really? So I have to embrace being a human footstool or doormat in order to be in a D/s relationship. My Dom of a couple years is going to be so disappointed when I tell him that we've got it all wrong.

(in reply to subbykat)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 7:25:35 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WillowBayU

Well...self-destructive behaviors is my middle name. I could ramble on here about self-destructive behaviors with which I have engaged since I knew I HAD a self. Hey, how about that for all the Doms who say they want an introspective, intelligent slave or sub? It is who we are. If we weren't self-destructive, would we even BE in this lifestyle? Honestly, but naively, from my own interest. I am NOT criticizing anyone here. But let's be honest...we can talk until the sun comes up about how strong submissives and slaves are, how to be owned or controlled is to realize freedom...yes, preaching to the choir. But what makes US different from YOU? What makes US different from vanilla? Even if we do not desire to be used, humiliated, objectified, offered as meat...isn't the entire premise here self-destruction on some level? Hasn't it always been since we understood who we are? Hasn't it always been since we understood our destiny?

I can honestly say that my purpose in having a D/s relationship is NOT self-destruction in the least. It's self-celebration and I find peace and balance with the right partner. He loves me for what I give to him, not for what he takes from me.
Whatever it is for you that makes you happy then I hope you find it.

(in reply to WillowBayU)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 7:33:09 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Willow, if this was destructive to my sense of self, I wouldn't be doing it. I'm better off for being in this relationship. I am lifted up, not put down. He is concerned with the effects on me of what he does.

If I am his possession, then I'm his treasured possession. I'm a classic car costing tens of thousands and not a $500 junker. And neither of us would have it be any other way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to lizi)

RE: self-destructive subs - 5/1/2011 9:13:44 PM

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
He loves me for what I give to him, not for what he takes from me.

Beautifully said!

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to lizi)

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