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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:13:11 PM

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I think most folks on this board know My feelings regarding the word "Master".

So far, every person on the thread who is saying that they were involved with someone outside of the community who inspired them to feel that is basing it on their interactions with that person. Not a situation like the OP's where he's not involved with someone and hasn't had his first dynamic.

I could call Myself a pilot because I wanted to fly. If I've never been in the air, am I still a pilot?

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:25:09 PM

subtlebutterfly

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I'm sure he was your master, because he had mastered you & your body. He's therefore a master OF you. That doesn't apply to the OP..unless he's the master of the universe, which of course..he could be.

mmmm yeah..like Lady Pact says...........

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:29:43 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think most folks on this board know My feelings regarding the word "Master".

So far, every person on the thread who is saying that they were involved with someone outside of the community who inspired them to feel that is basing it on their interactions with that person. Not a situation like the OP's where he's not involved with someone and hasn't had his first dynamic.

I could call Myself a pilot because I wanted to fly. If I've never been in the air, am I still a pilot?

Lady Pact in your example I agree they would not be a pilot. However, I do not think that a man has to own a woman before he can be a master any more than a woman has to be owned before she is a slave. If that is the case if a man is in an m/s relationship and it ends is he no longer a master?

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:30:43 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

I'm sure he was your master, because he had mastered you & your body. He's therefore a master OF you. That doesn't apply to the OP..unless he's the master of the universe, which of course..he could be.

mmmm yeah..like Lady Pact says...........

So how many people does one have to be able to master before they are a twue and real master?

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:35:35 PM

subtlebutterfly

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Let me get back to you when I finish counting.

Community wise, to me a person is a "master" when he has become a skilled player...skilled in various bdsm techniques etc.

but master of somebody, obviously that's on an individual basis.

It depends on the circumstances within each case.

However, like I said..it's only my opinion :)

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:43:12 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Let me get back to you when I finish counting.

Community wise, to me a person is a "master" when he has become a skilled player...skilled in various bdsm techniques etc.

but master of somebody, obviously that's on an individual basis.

It depends on the circumstances within each case.

However, like I said..it's only my opinion :)

What about those who don't participate in "kink" related activities? How would they "proof" their skill to the "community" at large?

What about those who have no interest what so ever in the "community" at large does that mean they aren't masters?

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 3:54:00 PM

subtlebutterfly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

What about those who don't participate in "kink" related activities? How would they "proof" their skill to the "community" at large?

What about those who have no interest what so ever in the "community" at large does that mean they aren't masters?

Who said anything about proofing? The only person he needs to proof it to is himself. Thus, if he wants to call himself a master without having absolutely any idea how to tie a knot or without being in a relationship then surely he can - whether he lives up to the 'title' or not, however, may be another story.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subtlebutterfly

In my opinion, 'dominant' is a completely subjective term. It stems from a person's core and portrays in his demeanor and attitude. However, I believe 'Master' is more of a objective term. It's a learnt and an acquired skill that he gains only after a period of time by learning skills such as bondage and whipping - regardless of being involved in the community or not. I'm sure there are masters out there that have studied the art of bondage and whips etc. without having been active in the community per se. However, that in no way deprives them of being able to call themselves by the title master.

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:03:03 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

What about those who don't participate in "kink" related activities? How would they "proof" their skill to the "community" at large?

What about those who have no interest what so ever in the "community" at large does that mean they aren't masters?

Who said anything about proofing? The only person he needs to proof it to is himself. Thus, if he wants to call himself a master without having absolutely any idea how to tie a knot or without being in a relationship then surely he can - whether he lives up to the 'title' or not, however, may be another story.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subtlebutterfly

In my opinion, 'dominant' is a completely subjective term. It stems from a person's core and portrays in his demeanor and attitude. However, I believe 'Master' is more of a objective term. It's a learnt and an acquired skill that he gains only after a period of time by learning skills such as bondage and whipping - regardless of being involved in the community or not. I'm sure there are masters out there that have studied the art of bondage and whips etc. without having been active in the community per se. However, that in no way deprives them of being able to call themselves by the title master.

Again MANY people don't practice the kink aspect yet are very much involved in m/s relationships and perhaps that is where we differ in thinking. I don't think anyone has to participate in those activities to be a master. And I make that point because yourself and several others keep bringing up the kink factor.

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:05:49 PM

subtlebutterfly

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You're right on all accounts. In my opinion it simply depends on from what viewpoint you look at it. Gotta agree to disagree. :)

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:06:28 PM

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quote:

if you make my mind shrink in fear and my pussy twitch with excitement and my heart race with the desire to surrender itself, then you are a master. i

Well according to the op, all he has managed so far is to get them to ask for money, so you both might be right.

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:08:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agtmiller

thank you all for your help so far.
I will see what I can find as far as a group goes and will remember what you have said.

that sounds like a good plan oh and never send money to anyone online for any reason.

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:30:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut
Lady Pact in your example I agree they would not be a pilot. However, I do not think that a man has to own a woman before he can be a master any more than a woman has to be owned before she is a slave. If that is the case if a man is in an m/s relationship and it ends is he no longer a master?

How are you going to compare "never been" to past experience?

A person can think that a thing is what they want. Feel pulled to it in their own way. Until they have lived it and done so with another human being, all they have is what they think, rather than what they have proven in reality.

In your way of thinking, every schlemiel who creates an account with fantasies of Domination or submission is just the same as people who have this as a part of their physical world. If that's all the higher your standard is, you're welcome to it, but it's not Mine.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:50:18 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

Hmm. You consider being a Master to be someone capable of arousing you. I consider it someone versed in a certain activity - bondage, whips, etc.

Also, note that your example of a Master is defined by the reaction he produces in YOU. In other words, you consider him to be one.

I threw in my requirement for recognition to weed out those who consider themselves to be a Master... and nobody else does.

but it is the reaction he induces that matters. the rest is window dressing. if "master" is to be considered anything more than an empty self-appointed title, then it must be based on more than mere skills in physical activities. it is the indefinable something that some men have that does not compel surrender, it invites it, it draws the victim in willingly. that is a "master". and those people are born, they are not made.

and of course i am defining a "master" in terms of what i consider one to be, anything else would be silliness. that is how we all define these things, by what we consider them to be.

those who consider themselves a master and are alone in that assessment, well they really don't matter now do they. they are fantasists and of no real import.

hannah lynn

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 4:53:47 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

I would agree that being Dominant is a state of mind, but I'm with DS on being a Master. One has to put in the time to deserve the title.

fair enough. it seems we are using the terms to mean the exact opposite thing. to me, anybody can be a dominant, it just takes the desire to do so and a bit of time to learn. i suspect if we could agree on a neutral set of terms we would probably find we are on the same page. this is a problem with the ill-defined terms involved in this weird and wonderful thing it is that we do.

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:25:10 PM

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I probably have all the qualifications of being a "Master" yet I shun away from anyone using it to describe me, Partly because it lumps me into a catagory or a belief group i.e. Democrats, Catholics, bikers, etc... but also because a guy can come on here , proclaim himself a "Master" but not only does not have or ever had someone devoting themselves to him, but also has the balls to ask how to be a "Master" I dont mean to offend anyone who claims the title "Master" or "Dom" but this guy (the OP) is neither master or dom, no more than a guy in a music store thinking about buying a guitar is a guitarist.

"Standing in a garage doesn't make you a car"

I am not saying it takes years of experience, because even 20 years experience doing one thing, one way, does not make you a master but at only that one thing. Nor an I saying recognition from some sort of Dom Hierarcy makes you a Master.
The only person that can make you a "Master" is a sweet submissive soul, devoted completely and wholey to you. end of story

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:33:13 PM

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It's fascinating how in EVERY other realm, to be a "master" at something, one needs experience and to have proven themselves. Master craftsman comes to mind. Master Chess Player. Master Plumber. Master Carpenter. Getting a Master's degree.

Someone who is a "Master" to YOU has still PROVEN themselves, has experience WITH YOU. That does not in anyway make them A Master. It makes them YOUR Master. Just because somebody is a Master Trumpet Player doesn't mean he can do jack with an oboe.

I would hope that the years I spent getting training and experience and learning my trade would be worth more than some Joe Schmo calling themselves a "master" at my trade. That fool could harm someone. And frankly, I'm not going to allow a resident doctor to operate on me. Not no, but hell no. I want the head of the department. The MASTER Orthopedic Doctor working on me!

But if y'all want to think that there is no need to prove one has mastered an ability, go talk to the people who are in wheelchairs after having been harmed by a "Master".

sunshine

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:46:55 PM

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quote:

but also because a guy can come on here , proclaim himself a "Master" but not only does not have or ever had someone devoting themselves to him, but also has the balls to ask how to be a "Master" I dont mean to offend anyone who claims the title "Master" or "Dom" but this guy (the OP) is neither master or dom, no more than a guy in a music store thinking about buying a guitar is a guitarist.

Any guy can proclaim themselves as "Master" "Daddy" "SupremeUbaroftheTarnsandslutsandeverythingelse" if they so chose to do so. However, to be "my" Master, they have to prove themselves. And Im a tough cookie to win over.

~FR

In all honesty, I cant understand all the hoopla around a man calling himself "Master" or a woman calling herself "Mistress". I can call myself a unicorn... would it matter to anyone else if I did?

Im like sunshine... I want the best, no matter what field or endeavor. What may be best for me, may not be best for sunshine.... what sunshine may look for in a man, I possibly wont.

Not picking on you sunshine.

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:48:00 PM

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In the internet age of BDSM, the numerical majority of Master and slaves are self-titled.

Master used to be a title conferred after an apprenticeship served under other Masters. Until one was a master, one could not own new slaves, but only train with experienced slaves.

Now? who knows? the slave knows who she calls Master. The Master knows who pleases and who is obedient enough to call slave.

I see these titles, when not conferred by a community, as private between Master and slave, as endearments as much as honorifics, and between each other, must be earned by DEEDS, not words.

I prefer the practice of using words like Dom and sub to generally confer role. and leave the sweet specific details of Master and slave to the sweet intimacy of a dungeon.

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respectfully

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:49:33 PM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

But if y'all want to think that there is no need to prove one has mastered an ability, go talk to the people who are in wheelchairs after having been harmed by a "Master".

nobody has disputed that an unskilled practitioner can be dangerous, regardless of what title he goes by. an unskilled "master" by my definition is an extremely dangerous thing, yet is no less a "master".

the master craftsman argument would be relevant if we were talking about a master flogger, or a master of shibari, but we are not. the question was how to be a "master" period, and surely you aren't saying that technical expertise alone is enough. i have been whipped by some very skilled whip handlers who couldn't dominate a dead cat in july.

hannah lynn

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clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

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My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: finding a real sub/slave? - 4/17/2011 5:51:22 PM

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I don't care what people call me. I care about causing changes in the behavior of others, to be closer to what I want. To the extent I can do that, I have mastered a situation, regardless of who is officially in charge. If my life is out of control, my skills of mastery need work.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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