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Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 5:37:00 PM   
a1111


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/1/2009
Status: offline 		Been reading a lot about narcissm lately and it seems to fit in with a lot of dominant people, what do you all think?
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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 5:40:55 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think there's a duplicate thread in another section.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 5:58:11 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Oh, goodie...more armchair psychology. 
 


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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 6:14:57 PM   
caelestis


Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline 		Um.. no. Just no.

I think maybe you might be talking to all the wrong D-types if thats the general impression you get.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 6:50:45 PM   
Patrickjoh


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		A true dominance is about service. Creating a safe space for the sub to feel safe, respected and loved while engaging in rough play that stimulates both parties and feeds a need and desire is a responsibilty. One that a true Dom embraces and revels in.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 6:54:53 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Patrick -

Welcome to the forums. You will find that "real" and "true" are kind of .... well... not the best words to use. What is real and true for you is not necessarily so for others. It's wonderful that you've found what works FOR YOU, but you might want to re-think advising a bunch of people you don't know about what is real and true. It sounds a bit arrogant. More than a bit, actually.

best,
sunshine

ETA: Here's that thread folks are talking about: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3641715/tm.htm


< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 4/21/2011 6:56:55 PM >

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 6:56:55 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		The ones I like, one in particular, are/is and I wouldn't want to change that.



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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 7:24:27 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		No, Daddy is not narcissistic. He just likes to show off his toys a lot, such as his fantastic flogger, his whip, etc. lol

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 8:39:04 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Yeah . . . another narcissist thread or narcisstic as the title says.
I can once again declare that I am not narcissistic.  I'm just good looking. 




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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 8:40:49 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		I can't be narcissistic, I'm perfect in every way... Jeez... such a silly question. ;)

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:13:19 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		lol people are narcissistic plain and simply. There is a reason facebook is so popular ..it is because people assume that other really give a damn that they are going to walk their dog and dammit apparently i do because i read it.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:23:11 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir
I can't be narcissistic, I'm perfect in every way... Jeez... such a silly question. ;)

So you perceive narcissism as a flaw.  In other words, if you think you are perfect, without flaws, you can't be a narcissist.

If you accept and embrace your flaws, being narcissistic would NOT defeat your self-love.
In other words, if you DON'T think you are perfect and see your own flaws, you are a narcissist. 

I am glad BK could help straighten that out.  Look, it is as simple as a one question test.

Do you think you are perfect? 

Yes = not narcissistic
No = narcissistic





edit: left a word out


< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/21/2011 10:00:02 PM >

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:24:35 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Wanting others to revolve around you is a key component of narcissism. This is arguably similar to DOMs. But, the narcissists that I have known have been insecure, and they are tried to engineer validation of themselves through others. There really is no connection between them and others, only a manipulative artifice.

In S&M there is usually a connection, and subs won't readily respond to DOMs who operate from insecurities.

BDSM is also about sex, and narcissism is more about social relations.

That's my take.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcissistic? - 4/21/2011 9:31:36 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		I'm a regulation hottie. I just happen to be dominant.

But putting my brand of self-confidence aside, i don't believe narcissism is a prevalent trait among any particular side of the kneel. I've met a lot of submissives (or whatever they fashion themselves to be) who claim to be hot coffee in Alaska, and that I should be so lucky to be using them . But I digress.

They are just asses who just so happen to be submissive. Go figure 8's on that one.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:53:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


Wanting others to revolve around you is a key component of narcissism. This is arguably similar to DOMs. But, the narcissists that I have known have been insecure, and they are tried to engineer validation of themselves through others. There really is no connection between them and others, only a manipulative artifice.

In S&M there is usually a connection, and subs won't readily respond to DOMs who operate from insecurities.

BDSM is also about sex, and narcissism is more about social relations.

That's my take.

However, so is vanity.  Therefore, we are back to the individual, rather than a category as a whole. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:57:20 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir
I can't be narcissistic, I'm perfect in every way... Jeez... such a silly question. ;)

So you perceive narcissism as a flaw.  In other words, if you think you are perfect, without flaws, you can't a narcissist.

If you accept and embrace your flaws, being narcissistic would NOT defeat your self-love.
In other words, if you DON'T think you are perfect and see your own flaws, you are a narcissist. 

I am glad BK could help straighten that out.  Look, it is as simple as a one question test.

Do you think you are perfect? 

Yes = not narcissistic
No = narcissistic
Perfect! I was afraid no one had given this guy the answer he sought.
YES , by the way. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 9:57:30 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		HELL yea ...what was the question???

BadOne

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 10:07:01 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir
I can't be narcissistic, I'm perfect in every way... Jeez... such a silly question. ;)

So you perceive narcissism as a flaw.  In other words, if you think you are perfect, without flaws, you can't a narcissist.

If you accept and embrace your flaws, being narcissistic would NOT defeat your self-love.
In other words, if you DON'T think you are perfect and see your own flaws, you are a narcissist. 

I am glad BK could help straighten that out.  Look, it is as simple as a one question test.

Do you think you are perfect? 

Yes = not narcissistic
No = narcissistic
Perfect! I was afraid no one had given this guy the answer he sought.
YES , by the way. M


I think they should let me design all the psych evaluation tests.  I could get those 100 question profiles down to like 5 or 6 questions I bet!  Imagine the government, military and private corporations staffed by people who were ResidentSadist approved.  What a world it would be. 

 


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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 10:09:55 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I think they should let me design all the psych evaluation tests. I could get those 100 question profiles down to like 5 or 6 questions I bet! Imagine the government, military and private corporations staffed by people who were ResidentSadist approved.
I agree completely.
I love people who cut through the bs (I don't mean losing tact), and bottom line things. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Are doms/dommes just narcisstic? - 4/21/2011 10:15:26 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
quote:

I think they should let me design all the psych evaluation tests. I could get those 100 question profiles down to like 5 or 6 questions I bet! Imagine the government, military and private corporations staffed by people who were ResidentSadist approved.
I agree completely.
I love people who cut through the bs (I don't mean losing tact), and bottom line things. M

You wisdom is only surpassed by your sense of humor.

 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 20
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