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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 4:46:14 AM

LadyConstanze

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Red! And I thought you were pure ;)

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 4:59:14 AM

LadyConstanze

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This is for Red and Peon!

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 5:01:06 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
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From: West Virginia, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

I don't get it? I mean, everyone wants to be loved for what's 'inside' right? So why do they all require a pic? I can't show a pic of myself here, because, it would outweigh the consequences on my vanilla life. So, what do I do?

I never ask for pix. Either someone will meet up with me or they won't.

Years ago, I used to give out pix to any who asked within the first few letters. If we talked in Yahoo Messenger, my pic was there too. Yanno, I got really tired of the asshats who thought they were giving me some lovely compliment by telling me they had wanked off and splatted my printed out face pic with their cum. There are a multitude of reasons why people do not want to have their pix all over the internet.

Think of this scenario. Giving your pic to someone you have exchanged 2-3 letters with. It is safe because it is in a letter and not used as a profile pic, right? Months later, while looking at profiles, you see your own pic up there being used by someone else.

If I still lived in Van Nuys or Los Angeles, I wouldn't be as careful as I am living in this small town in WV. Some of the ones peeking through pix here at CM are vanillas looking for free pix to wank off to, and somehow feel morally superior to us sick freaks who are into D/s and kink.

I am NOT getting my tires slashed or whatever just because I exchange a few letters and pix with someone, and then decide we are not compatible.

Btw, I use an old Trak phone for safe calls and to talk with people from online until I am willing to trust them with my home phone landline...and it doesn't take pix.

Each of us makes our own choices and has to live with the consequences, so if someone wants to post their pic it is their business and not my concern. If someone will not talk with me because I refuse to send pix, and yes, this has happened on rare occasions...it is not the end of my world.

*****
RedMagic1...love that waterfall pic.
MsMillgrove...lovely rose pic. I didn't know you had grown it yourself. My Knock Out roses are beautiful, but I am envious at how many petals are on your pink roses.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 5:09:23 AM

RedMagic1

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Out of my way Peon! I saw it first!

Eta: thank you CynthiaWV. :)

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 5/23/2011 5:10:22 AM >

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 6:55:50 AM

ResidentSadist

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~fr
If it's only what's inside that counts, then it doesn't matter what sex your partner is. You prefer females. Some people prefer big girls, small girls, macho men, twinks and all the other things only a photo will reveal. Some people have different preferences than you, that's all.

Long ago . . . in the 70s . . . in Detroit . . . in a select small BDSM group . . . if you couldn't accept service or authority freely from either male or female, you were considered a tourist, a swinger just trolling sex instead of BDSM. "A leather-heart cares not what form the Master or slave presents but what form the Mastery or slavery is presented." Even that isn't a good example of "it's what's inside that counts" . . . because it is limited to just the leather lifestyle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath
I don't get it? I mean, everyone wants to be loved for what's 'inside' right? So why do they all require a pic? I can't show a pic of myself here, because, it would outweigh the consequences on my vanilla life. So, what do I do?

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 7:19:10 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

I'm uncomfortable with showing my face on the internet because in the past it has been used to try and discredit me. Last thing I need is for a photo of me to be found here so that everyone can presume me to be a pervert.

Hey now! Some of us wear the label of pervert happily!

I had to laugh at one of your 'friend' photos......DUCKFACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 7:30:46 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

As much as I'd love to attend a munch, it's, not something I could do because I know that somewhere in that circle, someone I know will dwell. Then, if word got out, well, it wouldn't be too good to my life plans. As much as, this is a part of me, it's not my lifestyle. It's a bit like when you see someone who belongs to a musical subculture. They get immersed in the music, dress the part and so forth and live that life style and then 20 years later say "I can't believe that was me." I'm not that kind of person. If I was, I'd gladly show myself here. I'm not ashamed of anyone I may meet here. I would love to meet someone off here then have something meaningful and vanilla with them, with just some kinkyness in the bedroom. Ideally that's what I would like. If not that, than atleast some like minded conversation and friendship.

The kind of women I attract in my Vanilla life, are, well, for the most part model material. Infact I purposely try to scale down that physical element because I'm a bit tired of dating gorgeous women with no substance. It takes alot more than a pretty face to win me over and thats why I guess a picture is nice, but isn't the be all and end all for me. I'd like to think there is a women out there who thinks the same. I'm in a difficult position where, I can't really change anything, but that doesn't seem to work here.

You attract model types? You poor guy. I feel so badly for you. Really, I am sure everyone does. If you tend to attract model types, then you are either very good looking, or very rich, not that all models only care for those two attributes, but let's be real here.

If you are so frightened of posting a photo online, then send one privately. Unless you are super famous, I would not be concerned whether or not someone gets a private face photo from you.

As far as sending a "creative" photo, please. That is not necessary. I require a simple photo of someone, I don't need to see waterfalls or rainbows or you jousting dressed up as a knight.

I find that men are equally obsessed with pics and I see nothing whatsoever wrong with wanting to see if there might be that chemistry; which of course, can only be discerned upon meeting face to face.

If you what you are doing is not working, change your mindset.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 7:47:52 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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After skimming the thread since my last post, here's how the OP is coming across to me:

This is a man who is completely insecure with himself and ashamed of his sexual proclivities. He wants a woman who will dominate him in the bedroom and be the perfect little vanilla girlfriend in public; the stereotypical Madonna/whore complex. The OP has zero experience with WIITWD beyond internet porn, and expects the woman to take the lead but will insist on doing the come-closer-go-away dance for the majority, if not all, of the time they spend together because he is incapable of being emotionally available. Unless she's an emotional masochist, the woman is eventually going to get tired of his BS and walk away, at which point the OP will be back here complaining that he can't find a partner because all the women are "fake."

OP, walk away. Seriously, you are not ready to be here. Go make a profile on OkCupid. There are lots of kinky girls there who might be willing to be your bedroom top. But please, for the love of all things holy, do not waste the time of the women here. Your kind isn't a dime a dozen, it's more like a dime for a gross. We have to sift through enough of them without you upping the ratio of noise to signal.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:08:49 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Thank you, Sylvere!! I had the OP on hide, and I only do that for really egregious wankers.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:14:29 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Keep, OKCupid ran a study, and the statistics conclusively showed that a facepic does not generate the most interest in women. A shot of you doing something sexy does. Captaining your sailboat, whatever. I get emails from women because of "my" waterfall on a regular basis, both here and elsewhere. Show some creativity.

We really just want to know if it's a metaphor representing the shape of your penis. Does it in fact have a couple of little curves in it?

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:25:33 AM

Vendaval

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3 cheers for Sylvere!

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:44:14 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

This is for Red and Peon!

Thank you Lady C! Though of course the photo's obviously taken from the wrong angle from a malesub's point of view, I can clearly see that you're the proud owner of a fine derriere indeed.

Oh, and Red, don't try to get there before me. You wouldn't enjoy English hospital food.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:48:46 AM

RedMagic1

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I would bring a sandwich when I came to visit you

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 9:58:36 AM

VaguelyCurious

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Haha! I'm not sure I'd get into this fight, Red. Peon's a gym bunny of the highest order...

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 10:15:18 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Haha! I'm not sure I'd get into this fight, Red. Peon's a gym bunny of the highest order...

LOL, he is but he has an Achilles heel, ha ha ha, blackmail material....

And Peon, a friend took it at a BBQ, when I looked through his pics and asked "Err why did you do that? My face isn't so bad..." his comment was "The camera just went off in my hand, purely accidental..." The funny thing is, most of the women who were at the BBQ had at least one picture taken where they are seen from behind... I wonder why... Not that he'd admit to being a bit focused, he claims that it's all in the eyes and he just focuses on the eyes of a woman, not body parts... I guess his camera must go off really easy...

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 10:30:08 AM

LadyHibiscus

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As long as it's just his camera... ;)

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 10:30:41 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

I'm uncomfortable with showing my face on the internet because in the past it has been used to try and discredit me. Last thing I need is for a photo of me to be found here so that everyone can presume me to be a pervert.

Okay, I've been reading this crap, and I've got to call bullshit on the OP.

Who says you have to show your face? I don't show mine. Many people don't show their faces.

Once you've begun a dialogue with someone, they are likely to want to see what you look like. Similarly, you are probably going to want to know what they look like. So send them a face shot. How can that be used against you?

Frankly, your statement that you don't want to show your face on the internet because in the past it has been used to discredit you sounds like complete bullshit. How can someone discredit you from a picture? Were you stupid enough to post a picture of yourself sucking another man's cock? Or perhaps you posted a picture of yourself having sex with a farm animal. If you were stupid enough to post a picture of yourself doing any of those things, then you must be a complete idiot.

I am in a very similar situation as what you've described. I'm a successful businessman who is well-known in the local business community. I'm a former executive at one of the largest companies in my town, and I'm currently very active in the local Chamber of Commerce. I'm also heavily involved in local politics, and in the past, I was a very close associate of the mayor. Yet, I've NEVER been concerned about being on here.

Frankly, this is CollarMe, not Facebook. Most people have no idea what CM is. So the likelihood of you being outed is negligible. Moreover, members of the BDSM community tend to take discretion and privacy VERY SERIOUSLY. But if you have concerns, simply don't show your face. That's what I do.

As far as sending pictures after you've communicated with someone for a while, you sound completely paranoid. What possible harm can come from sending someone a face shot? How can they possibly use it against you? If it's not the shot that you use on CM, they can't possibly connect the two. If you're as important as you claim, then it should be possible for just about anybody to find a face shot of you.

For someone who claims to be such an alpha male, you seem to lack any understanding of what that position means. For example, I don't particularly worry about being "discredited" as you call it. My business reputation and results speak for themselves. The only thing the business world tends to care about is results. Moreover, I don't worry about being "outed", because I'm the boss. If anyone threatened to do so, I'd fire them. I have never known of an upper level executive who has been fired for being on a website. Moreover, I've sat in literally thousands of corporate policy meetings, and I've never even heard of it coming up as a topic of discussion. What people do in their private lives is really nobody else's business.

So please provide more details of how you were "discredited" in the past. Because frankly, I think your concerns are merely paranoid delusions.

Personally, I have actively attended local BDSM functions for almost 20 years. Members of the local community know me, but nobody has ever used it against me in any way. When I see members of the BDSM community out in the vanilla world, we merely nod at one another and keep going. No blackmail. No TV cameras. None of the negative drama that you seem to think is going to ensue.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 11:50:45 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
LOL, he is but he has an Achilles heel, ha ha ha, blackmail material....

You and one other person know it. Not even She Who Reads But Never Posts knows it.

quote:

And Peon, a friend took it at a BBQ, when I looked through his pics and asked "Err why did you do that? My face isn't so bad..." his comment was "The camera just went off in my hand, purely accidental..." The funny thing is, most of the women who were at the BBQ had at least one picture taken where they are seen from behind... I wonder why... Not that he'd admit to being a bit focused, he claims that it's all in the eyes and he just focuses on the eyes of a woman, not body parts... I guess his camera must go off really easy...

*Chuckle* See, I'd have 'tripped over' so's I could take the photos from a much lower angle. I'd have found the resulting pics a lot more useful once I'd got home and alone again, if you catch my drift.

And that 'tripping over' technique - have no doubt that it'd look entirely natural. I'd already perfected the trick when I was at junior school, so that I could look up the skirts of my fave crushes.

I would like to point out, though, that I've become much more mature since I was a kid. And I've also gained a fair bit of upper body strength: Unless she's a bit hefty, I can turn a woman upside down with one arm and take a photo of her arse with the other. Sorted! :-)

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 11:51:47 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Rochsub. Marry me and give me all your stuff!! Let me lick your spicy brain!! I LUB YOU MAN!!

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/23/2011 12:12:48 PM

PeonForHer

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Roch,

I'm going to go with the view that the OP isn't BSing and that he's a proper sub, albeit one at, shall we say, at a troubled stage at present. Whatever the real truth, I don't care for present purposes.

Now, it seems to me that the OP is, from what he's said, an 'alpha' sort of male. Much as that term irritates the urine out of me for a rich variety of reasons, it does at minimum serve to describe a man whose life is governed by ambition, competition and orientation towards success.

Right, so. One of the problems with a man who's got into that 'alpha male' groove, and the accompanying cluster of motivations to get out of bed and do things, is that it can be chronically superficial. The result of career based on it can often be that you hit a certain age and realise that, because you've never stopped - never had the time or the leisure to stop - to think deeply about things, you've lost track of what you really, deep down, want. This constitutes a balls up that needs urgently to be redressed.

So, perhaps for the OP, now is the time to do just that. Perhaps he needs to stop and work out what his priorities are. If he really wants a D/s lifestyle with a woman of his dreams - well, he's no doubt nicely equipped to go ahead and find one. As an alpha male he'll be used to taking risks, used to taking whacks to the chin and carrying on fighting, used to doing what it takes to get the job done.

Thus, assuming the OP can be characterised that way: now's the time to stop, and philosophise. Workmates might see this is as a failing, but it's now time for them to piss off out of one's head. They're just noise, now.

Once the OP's done such philosophising, the rest he'll already know - he's had ample training in it. He knows how to just get on with a thing, so he should get on with it.

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