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ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
"First, harpoon one dolphin". 

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
This is a man who is completely insecure with himself and ashamed of his sexual proclivities.  He wants a woman who will dominate him in the bedroom and be the perfect little vanilla girlfriend in public; the stereotypical Madonna/whore complex.  The OP has zero experience with WIITWD beyond internet porn, and expects the woman to take the lead but will insist on doing the come-closer-go-away dance for the majority, if not all, of the time they spend together because he is incapable of being emotionally available.  Unless she's an emotional masochist, the woman is eventually going to get tired of his BS and walk away, at which point the OP will be back here complaining that he can't find a partner because all the women are "fake."

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

That's a bit harsh, you and I don't show our faces completely, nor do a few others on here, due to privacy concerns

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Unless of course you do the "Wear a red rose in your mouth and swing from the chandelier" thing, personally I always found that a bit too "out" for public places such as restaurants...

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

If you don't want to listen, how about you hide under the table?

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

Lady C, VC: stop wittering. Dommes are not supposed to whitter.

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ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
This is a man who is completely insecure with himself and ashamed of his sexual proclivities.  He wants a woman who will dominate him in the bedroom and be the perfect little vanilla girlfriend in public; the stereotypical Madonna/whore complex.  The OP has zero experience with WIITWD beyond internet porn, and expects the woman to take the lead but will insist on doing the come-closer-go-away dance for the majority, if not all, of the time they spend together because he is incapable of being emotionally available.  Unless she's an emotional masochist, the woman is eventually going to get tired of his BS and walk away, at which point the OP will be back here complaining that he can't find a partner because all the women are "fake."

i think, through this whole thread, Sylvere hit the nail on the head. it's possible that the OP works for the NSA or something like that, where they screen EVERYTHING about you. but i really think Sylvere got it. when i was reading this, it sounded like, yes, while there's some concern about his identity getting out, his primary issue is that he really IS NOT comfortable with who he is and what he wants. he says he has met women without seeing them, but on a friendship basis, which is different from what he's asking women to do here, i.e. consider him for a relationship without a photo, and on the merit that he "usually attracts model types," which just SCREAMS of self-advertising from an insecure place.

this may not be the site for you. if you try a less overtly-kinky place, you may be able to find someone who fits your design a bit better?

you can't really rush something like that, and that's sort of what it seems like you're doing. you're looking for some absolute ideal but with a boatload of limitations, AND you're a male sub, which narrows the pool even more for you. like LadyConstanze said, you need to stop focusing so much on what you're trying to find, and show people who you are through conversations about stuff OTHER than the bad luck you're having. what things are you interested in? what non-kink opinions do you have? do you participate in a variety of discussions? women aren't "obsessed with pics" any more than men are (honestly, in my experience, men are far worse). you just have to accept that you're fishing with a WHOLE BUNCH of other guys in a very small pond, and you're using saltine crackers as bait.

i would seriously lose interest, too, if i ran into a guy who seemed interesting but who kept disappearing and was always dodgy. the "come-closer-go-away" dance, as Sylvere put it, will push almost anyone away. you need to examine your life and see if you really ARE ready for this kind of thing, because you really may not be.

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ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

Don't get me wrong, Men are just as much dependant on a photo.  But, I'm coming from a male perspective. Like, I like the women who want the alpha male.  The ones who like that challenge because, I enjoy that challenge because in my vanilla life I'm pretty much, on the top.  I won't accept just any mistress.  She has to demonstrate shes worth my time.  Personally I'd find more interest in someone who could stimulate my imagination with words than with pictures.  Pictures can be fake.  Anyways the point is, they want these alpha male types, yet they want a picture.  But, surely anyone who is in charge of their vanilla destiny would understand that announcing their identity here could be detrimental to their career and reputation.  A career and reputation which, may pay for the delights a mistress requires or something like that.  So, I don't get it. 

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it's possible that the OP works for the NSA or something like that, where they screen EVERYTHING about you. but i really think Sylvere got it. when i was reading this, it sounded like, yes, while there's some concern about his identity getting out

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ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
This is a man who is completely insecure with himself and ashamed of his sexual proclivities.  He wants a woman who will dominate him in the bedroom and be the perfect little vanilla girlfriend in public; the stereotypical Madonna/whore complex.  The OP has zero experience with WIITWD beyond internet porn, and expects the woman to take the lead but will insist on doing the come-closer-go-away dance for the majority, if not all, of the time they spend together because he is incapable of being emotionally available.  Unless she's an emotional masochist, the woman is eventually going to get tired of his BS and walk away, at which point the OP will be back here complaining that he can't find a partner because all the women are "fake."

i think, through this whole thread, Sylvere hit the nail on the head. it's possible that the OP works for the NSA or something like that, where they screen EVERYTHING about you. but i really think Sylvere got it. when i was reading this, it sounded like, yes, while there's some concern about his identity getting out, his primary issue is that he really IS NOT comfortable with who he is and what he wants. he says he has met women without seeing them, but on a friendship basis, which is different from what he's asking women to do here, i.e. consider him for a relationship without a photo, and on the merit that he "usually attracts model types," which just SCREAMS of self-advertising from an insecure place.

this may not be the site for you. if you try a less overtly-kinky place, you may be able to find someone who fits your design a bit better?

you can't really rush something like that, and that's sort of what it seems like you're doing. you're looking for some absolute ideal but with a boatload of limitations, AND you're a male sub, which narrows the pool even more for you. like LadyConstanze said, you need to stop focusing so much on what you're trying to find, and show people who you are through conversations about stuff OTHER than the bad luck you're having. what things are you interested in? what non-kink opinions do you have? do you participate in a variety of discussions? women aren't "obsessed with pics" any more than men are (honestly, in my experience, men are far worse). you just have to accept that you're fishing with a WHOLE BUNCH of other guys in a very small pond, and you're using saltine crackers as bait.

i would seriously lose interest, too, if i ran into a guy who seemed interesting but who kept disappearing and was always dodgy. the "come-closer-go-away" dance, as Sylvere put it, will push almost anyone away. you need to examine your life and see if you really ARE ready for this kind of thing, because you really may not be.

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ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath
I'm not trying to find 'love' instantly online or anything like that.  I doubt I will find it here.  I'm not after any sexual hook ups or anything.  All I'm after, is interesting people to talk with. Thats all.  My problem is that some women don't want to talk to you unless you have a photo of yourself.   I mean, yeah it would be really nice to talk to a women here, get to know her, develop a trust where maybe I could show her a photo, or do a video chat or something, and then maybe one day meet her.  But, I'm not expecting that.
I wouldn't want to be with a relationship with a women who hasn't seen me.  That's not what I want, but I don't want to send my photo to someone I don't know either.  All I want is to talk to interesting people.  If in time they'd like to meet as friends, of course, I will meet them if I can.  If they want to see a photo and there is a trust, of course, I will show it to them.  But if they are going to send me a message now saying "Marry me", I'd say. 'No way'.   But, if we met AS FRIENDS, and she liked how I looked and vice versa, THEN I'd be open for a relationship.  I'm not looking to find a wife or girlfriend here.

As for my disapearing acts, well, see if I met someone interesting here, it's not as though I would abandon THEM for a year.   I would give them a e-mail address to contact me on and we would still talk.  I'm here now for example because I've got time to kill, but sometimes I'll get snowed under for a long while and will just, forget about this place.  But if that person has been added to MSN or what ever and they message me whilst I work, it's not like I won't reply.  I'm not, a complete asshole who just vanishes. 


You're 100% correct.  I accept that I'm fishing with a bunch of guys in a tiny pond, but, like I said, I'm just looking for good conversation/ company.  What frustrates me is it seems that no one is willing to offer it with out a photo first.  Which, if all I'm looking for is some mental stumulation (non sexual), then why does it matter?

As for my terminal self importance, for all you know I could be the president. I'm not important, just I've worked hard for what I have.  I've tried to practice what I preach and I believe some information should stay between two people, not the entire world.  Sharing this side of me is something that stays between myself and the people who demonstrate themselves to be trust worthy, not the world.  It's private. I shouldn't have to let the whole world into my private affairs just to prove how secure I am to everyone else.  Trust is something earned, not a right that is given to everyone by default.  I don't know or trust everyone here.  I don't know or trust everyone on the internet there for they won't all be allowed to see what I look like and who I am.  There are people I know who see me every day, day in day out, but whom I don't trust enough to share this side of my life with because it's private.  Differen't people in different situations aquire different levels of trust in regards to different issues.

If I was a criminal and my friend was a police officer, I wouldn't trust him with information of criminal activities.  If I was a doctor and 2 people who were friends of eachother were both patients of mine, I wouldn't trust either of them with information of the others diseases.
If I was famous and had a secret love child, I wouldn't trust a journalist with that secret.  To me, it's common sense, which is why it's so frustrating.  All I want is to be able to find someone who, is on the same level to talk to.   I don't care what they look like because I'm not out to start a family with them or fall in love with them.  It would be nice if I did meet the love of my life here, but realistically I doubt it would happen still, it's a starting place to search because I'd like for my soul mate to share this private side of my life with me and have it be 'our' secret instead of 'my' secret.  

It's not a huge deal.  Now I think I will have to go to bed and masturbate with tears of lonliness :D jk