Your Generic Form Letter (Full Version)

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SylvereApLeanan -> Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:19:46 PM)

There are days when I really wish the forums had buttons for automated responses like we have for CMail.  A comment by LadyPact on the I Admit thread brought to mind those humorous form letters you've seen floating around the internet.  If I wrote a form letter to apply to some of the silly/inane/stupid posts I've seen in my 3.5 years here, I'd start with these:
 
"S/he isn't that into you; move on."
"No, that isn't poly or D/s (M/s), it's cheating."
"Take the D/s words out of your post and ask yourself the same question."
"Why are you posting on a message board when you should be talking to your partner(s)?"  
"No, we do not want to cater to your fetish, now go the hell away."
 
 
What generic responses would you include in your form letter?  Make them pithy, funny, snarky or whatever you like.  Just have fun with it.



myotherself -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:24:54 PM)

"giving money to women online is someone's kink - get over it"

"yes, there IS someone out there who will do x/y/z with you"




pahunkboy -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:25:45 PM)

?  I love you.  Can we get married on Tuesday?



myotherself -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:28:45 PM)

pfffttt...you say that to ALL the girls! [8D]



MaxsBoy -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:35:11 PM)

"Just because that's a hard limit for you doesn't mean it's a hard limit for everyone."

"Ok then, write your profile however you like.  But don't come back and bitch about not finding a partner when we warned you that an empty/stupid/abusive/lame profile is half your problem."

"A munch or other local event really is a good way to find someone to play with."

"If we have to tell you what to do with your sub/slave/bottom, maybe it's time to go back and read a book."

"If you want to know how to best please your Dom/me, ask him/her!



LadyPact -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:36:30 PM)

You might enjoy a book called, "When Someone You Love is Kinky".

If you can't invest your time in knowing the person, plan to pay for play.

Most women aren't going to initiate emails just because you created a profile.  They don't have to.  They are too busy with the emails they receive.

Just because we're kinky doesn't mean that we're going to help you cheat on your wife.





juliaoceania -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:47:23 PM)

No one owes you a response to your emails.

The internet is full of fake profiles, this site is not any different.

Your fake is someone else's true love



VirginPotty -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:52:11 PM)

You're on a kink site & STILL can't get laid??



myotherself -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 12:53:51 PM)

Your main pic is a dick - does that give you a clue why people treat you like one?

Your main pic is a c**t - does that give you a clue why people treat you like one?



LadyPact -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:05:16 PM)

When asking for other people's opinions, don't expect to like them all.



windchymes -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:08:27 PM)

"Stop whining about it and move on."

"Go do your homework."

"If you need to ask, he probably IS a douchebag."

"Consult a medical professional."




SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:14:46 PM)

You asked what we thought you should do and we told you.  You didn't listen and things went wrong.  Don't whine; it's not our fault you're an idiot.
 
Starting a whine thread after you've been moderated is a great way to garner sympathy and encourage the mods to reconsider. 
(Maybe this one should go under "BDSM Bad Advice'.)
 
Your misogyny/misandry/homophobia/heterosexism/cissexism/binarism/monogamy-centrism says more about you than anything else you posted.
 
Guess what - you are not the Keeper of the One True Way, so shut the fuck up.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:21:55 PM)

I like everyone's additions to the letter !! Here's some of my own:

Just b/c the females on this site are kinky, that doesn't mean they're promiscuous.

If you *really* want a whore, go buy one.

It's easy to *say* you're a no limits slave until the blow torch comes out.

I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.



SorceressJ -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:23:17 PM)

These are all excellent. *points up*

- No, I won't, because in my Universe, 'no' really does still mean 'no'.

- No. Not even if I was single, or a cum-guzzling gutter slut who didn't give a rat's ass. Not a chance.

- 'Not Looking' also means 'no'.

- STFU.

- Manners are good, I like them and find them very attractive. But it's still 'no'.

- It's nice that you find my profile so interesting that you feel the need to revisit it 147 times, but I'm ignoring you/have placed you on block for a REEzun. 'No'.

- A life. Get one.

- Better yet, get a kitten and a tall cold glass of chocolate milk.

- WTF, over.. [8|]



SorceressJ -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:25:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

You asked what we thought you should do and we told you.  You didn't listen and things went wrong.  Don't whine; it's not our fault you're an idiot.
 
Starting a whine thread after you've been moderated is a great way to garner sympathy and encourage the mods to reconsider. 
(Maybe this one should go under "BDSM Bad Advice'.)
 
Your misogyny/misandry/homophobia/heterosexism/cissexism/binarism/monogamy-centrism says more about you than anything else you posted.
 
Guess what - you are not the Keeper of the One True Way, so shut the fuck up.


-THESE, totally..-



mnottertail -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:29:10 PM)

Even skanks with no prospect suffer velleity.  That's why she didn't write you back.



LadyPact -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:33:22 PM)

Asking for creative punishments/humiliating activities/ideas for your sub never works here.  We don't know her/him, so we don't know what a negative consequence would be.  So far, the only punishment about this is that she/he has a Dom/me that doesn't know how to handle their own sub.

Please use the search feature.

Have you read the FAQ thread?



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:37:52 PM)

The fact that your primary photo includes your genitals/anus/duckface/fishlips automatically negates your credibility.
 
Yes, age/weight/height/race/experience level matter to some people.  Get over it.



poise -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:40:50 PM)

This isn't Domination Drive-thru, where you can place your order and a submissive magically appears.



mnottertail -> RE: Your Generic Form Letter (5/23/2011 1:42:09 PM)

Just like in real life, if the phone rings and it's for me, I'm not here. 



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