RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships?

RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (Full Version)

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DemonAngelSW2010 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:37:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: Of course, again, this may only be my view on it. It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps. Ok if I was feeling particularly bitchy and childish today I could go back to the whole thing where you totally got on people's cases for shortening your quote since that is what you just did to mine. However, I just don't feel like doing that so... No, it really doesn't help since she did not mention her husband, you dragged him into it still...which was the whole point of that post that you are quoting one section of. Again you still could have only involved her, you didn't. Therefor you were still doing exactly what I said. Then again I think this whole thread is rather bogus since it seems to be built on the assumption that just because your relationships work a certain way that everyone else's must too... but hey I enjoy watching it for now.

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:37:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one? Because they are not normal? amirite? ...they would want a 'normal' relationship because they were 'not normal'? I think you've got muddled somewhere. Um, no... Read it again.

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:39:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010 quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: Of course, again, this may only be my view on it. It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps. Ok if I was feeling particularly bitchy and childish today I could go back to the whole thing where you totally got on people's cases for shortening your quote since that is what you just did to mine. However, I just don't feel like doing that so... No, it really doesn't help since she did not mention her husband, you dragged him into it still...which was the whole point of that post that you are quoting one section of. Again you still could have only involved her, you didn't. Therefor you were still doing exactly what I said. Then again I think this whole thread is rather bogus since it seems to be built on the assumption that just because your relationships work a certain way that everyone else's must too... but hey I enjoy watching it for now. I disagree and think you misunderstand with much of your post. I'm glad you're enjoying this thread though. :)

DesFIP -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:41:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop That then begs the question: how are you defining normal? Obviously he's defining it as anyone who doesn't have what he has, a relationship that doesn't satisfy him because he's got too many issues to have a healthy, mutually satisfactory one. Basically he's defining normal as being abnormal. I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I'm done feeding this troll.

DemonAngelSW2010 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:42:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one? Because they are not normal? amirite? ...they would want a 'normal' relationship because they were 'not normal'? I think you've got muddled somewhere. Um, no... Read it again. Nah, I think they had the right idea the first time. You got muddled somewhere. If someone enjoys a D/s, M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic over a normal one then they aren't going to care if their relationship is considered normal. Again you are basing this off your own issue. If you don't like D/s, M/s or DD/lg then stay away from it. Don't come to a site with these things if you are just going to hate on it. It really is quite simple. If you want more structure in your life, I'm sure the military would be happy to oblige. Then again, I'm sure you will have some kind of snappy come back for that suggestion as well.

angelikaJ -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:47:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: Of course, again, this may only be my view on it. It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps. No, sad to say you are doing a bit of creative interpretation there... assuming insult when none is intended. So, as it turns out you don't really sub, do you? You bottom. You find no joy in serving a dominant partner, it is just the sensation you crave from time to time. quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010 quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact A lot of people have partners who can't satisfy their BDSM desires. There's no shame in it. No fault of hers that she's not the Domme you want. Have you had her read "When Someone You Love is Kinky"? Ha, again why would anyone who can have a normal relationship want a domme or dom except as roleplay? It would be ludicrously wearing. To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one? Because they are not normal? amirite? Ummmm.... no. (Hint: I did just explain all this and was quite nice about it.) A quick question that I am puzzled about: if your girlfriend is so fulfilling in your mostly vanilla bedroom, then why are you here *looking*? That is what your profile does currently indicate. Do you even know what it is you are looking for, aside from a non-pro domme? Perhaps if you got your girlfriend the book you wouldn't need to look outside your relationship for it (whatever it it is that you are seeking). edit: clarity

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 5:09:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: Of course, again, this may only be my view on it. It's not your view only; however, she shared, stating the book at resolved bedroom problems in the first person. Hope that helps. No, sad to say you are doing a bit of creative interpretation there... assuming insult when none is intended. So, as it turns out you don't really sub, do you? You bottom. You find no joy in serving a dominant partner, it is just the sensation you crave from time to time. quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010 quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact A lot of people have partners who can't satisfy their BDSM desires. There's no shame in it. No fault of hers that she's not the Domme you want. Have you had her read "When Someone You Love is Kinky"? Ha, again why would anyone who can have a normal relationship want a domme or dom except as roleplay? It would be ludicrously wearing. To answer a question with a question, why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one? Because they are not normal? amirite? Ummmm.... no. (Hint: I did just explain all this and was quite nice about it.) A quick question that I am puzzled about: if your girlfriend is so fulfilling in your mostly vanilla bedroom, then why are you here *looking*? That is what your profile does currently indicate. Do you even know what it is you are looking for, aside from a non-pro domme? Perhaps if you got your girlfriend the book you wouldn't need to look outside your relationship for it (whatever it it is that you are seeking). edit: clarity No one is looking, my profile is old and needs changing.

Lucylastic -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 5:21:35 AM)
Been married for 26 years(vanilla) and in a BDSM relationship for 13 with two different chaps, I adore his wife too, Take that as you please

PetiteOralSub -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 5:28:58 AM)
The word NORMAL always draws my eye, and out of curiosity I must come see what the hub-bub is. I usually see this word a a part of some close minded or labeling or ignorant (the true definition of the word) statement. And I was not disappointed again. BDSM is normal for some people, vanilla is normal for some people. Normal is a useless term in reference to generalities about human beings that cannot be verified by statistical analysis. Amost annoying word!

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 5:48:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: DemonAngelSW2010 why would anyone who could have a D/s or M/s or DD/lg relationship dynamic want a so called "normal" one? Because they are not normal? amirite? Who is to say what is "normal"? You have a profile in which you are (or were) seeking a dominant woman, dominant couple, or a poly household. All while also maintaining a vanilla relationship with a woman who you seem averse to introducing to kink because it would somehow make her abnormal. Just how normal does that sound? Frankly, it sounds to me like someone who has internal conflicts that they need to deal with. BTW, your writing style and the way that you argue sounds strangely familiar. In fact, you are extremely reminiscent of someone who has had multiple incarnations on this site. But of course, that's just a coincidence. [8\|]

xssve -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 5:56:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 PhilSlave, Let me attempt to enlighten you. 1. Take everything you know about day to day LIFE (hold those thoughts for a moment). 2. Take everything you think you know about BDSM (hold those thoughts for moment). 3. Now merge these two thoughts together and you will have REALITY. ;^) You see as someone who wonders if we are merely a 3D hologram of 2D Space/time, I have issues with this. Whether this is true or not doesn't make it any less of a pain in the ass does it?

xssve -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 6:18:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop That then begs the question: how are you defining normal? Obviously he's defining it as anyone who doesn't have what he has, a relationship that doesn't satisfy him because he's got too many issues to have a healthy, mutually satisfactory one. Basically he's defining normal as being abnormal. I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I'm done feeding this troll. Phil, nobody can resolve your mixed emotions for you, that's reality, holographic projection or otherwise. If you're trying to make it logical, you're pissing up a rope: emotion is not logic, it isn't required to display consistency, one can and does often entertain two completely opposite emotions, and it doesn't make either of them any less valid, you can do that because it's not... logic. To satisfy emotions, you have to satisfy them or learn to live with not having them satisfied, that's it, and although you may employ logic to this end, the end result need not be logical from any external point of view, because it reflects a subjective existential, hermetic, emotional need - even if the need is to put your emotions on the back burner.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 6:50:35 AM)
What is vanilla smile,I have been in this ls since the age of 15 a few few vanilla relationships,I am in one now with a beautiful young woman and yes its hard to keep from grabbings her by the hair and dragging her to my cave,Some can switch between vanilla and bdsm relationships with ease but to admit the truth it is hard for me..Bounty

LaTigresse -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 8:19:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 BTW, your writing style and the way that you argue sounds strangely familiar. In fact, you are extremely reminiscent of someone who has had multiple incarnations on this site. But of course, that's just a coincidence. [8\|] Exactly. Which is why I just won't even bother taking the time and effort for a serious discussion with the putz.

diablarosa -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 8:52:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave I find I migrate to bdsm after vanilla relationships because I desire structure for a while with less emotion. Is this what BDSM is? I don't know what bdsm really is... its a huge effin mess that's like, one click away from "freaky" vanilla sexcapades. it's a meaningless term for me. FYI, I can find and cope with vanilla relationships just fine... they just bore the shit out of me. And as far as less emotion, well, I'm not sure what planet you're on there.

TheCabal -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 2:48:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave Because they are not normal? amirite? What's "normal"? I'm sure there are a very few boring, uncreative, dull-witted, anti-social, simple people out there without any real kinks at all. Probably working as accountants or engineers or somesuch. However, most people (indeed humans as a species) are complex - and that includes their sexual desires. Most repress these kinks, either because they can't face themselves, or because they're afraid to share them with their partner because of the possibility of rejection. Once this is understood, it becomes clear that BDSM is a normal, healthy activity. And that means those who consider it abnormal are either a) very dull, or b) completely out of touch with themselves.

poise -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 3:20:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PhilSlave RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? Does a vegetarian find sustenance in sinking their teeth into a delicious zuchini instead of a t-bone steak simply because they can't work out the utensils? [:-] Actually, I believe a relationship with any BDSM dynamic in it takes much more effort to sustain it as a happy one, as opposed to most vanilla ones.

popularDemand -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/27/2011 4:46:13 PM)
works for me pD

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/28/2011 9:39:41 AM)
It's just not worth getting into it with someone who's after his own agenda and won't pay attention to what anyone else tells him. And the thread is fun to read, but it's got nothing to do with you, it's with the other people who are posting and seeing everything go whoooooooooooooooosh right over your head. 'Nuff said.

PhilSlave -> RE: Is BDSM for people who find they can't cope with normal relationships with Vanilla relationships? (5/29/2011 3:06:50 PM)
Look, I understand your protests, I really do. In the words of the bard "methinks though dost protest too much". On the subject of what is normal... That really doesn't have to be explained as most people realise equality is normal for the majority of people. Guys who keep trying to make this about me.. It's not about me.... It's about you. I explained my position in the op. I get you want to read more into it to justify yourselves.

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