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Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:15:19 AM

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Over in "Ask a Sub/Slave", I responded to littleone35's "Having your head pushed" topic. Basically, it was about blowjobs and I posted that I didn't like receiving a blowjob from my sub so much as I lurv giving her bound and helpless self a thorough throat fucking etc. That it wasn't a sexual act but an act of power and domination. And her submission, too, but this is MY show and her only relevance within this dynamic is to be present and compliant meat.

Same with sex.... If I'm making love to my girl, I generally like positions where we face each other; it's about sharing etc. But if I'm in the mood for some primal fucking, then I'm likely gonna bend her over something and take her from behind; esp if I feel I've been getting some attitude from her. Again, it's not entirely a sexual act but of D&s headspace.

But it did get me curious about the female dominants and sex. As we all know, if you wanna know everything there is to know about women and their sexual needs and desires, look no further than the nearest men's magazine. ;) And 99% of the cover girl's will say their favourite sex position is doggy-style. (yeah, big surprise, huh? lol)

Now to me as a male and a Dom, doggy-style is the perfect sex position as far as a dominant and submissive role is concerned. Being upright, bigger, stronger and behind is THE power position with her all bent over. If she's not bound, I might have her wrists pinned mid-back or behind her neck, or just be content to clamp her hair or hips etc knowing my superior size and strength means she's not going anywhere until I'm done with her....

But what of Dommes who do like doggy-style sex with their male/sub? How do you work that? I can't think and rationalise as a female does anymore than I can as a submissive does. Ok, I know well the importance of setting the right headspace for your sub etc, but I'm a little more curious in the finer detail here. Really can't imagine a Domme appreciating being held by the hair, or even the hips - which is the natural place to get a decent grip (and you mostly need to from behind).... Or do you forgo doggy altogether (even if you like it) because of the male being in the power position?

Any takers?

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:25:11 AM

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Oh dear, you know sometimes sex is about "hitting the right spot" - maybe I'm just not super domme (thank fuck for that, who wants to fly around in leather long johns), but my relationship is not about dominating him or him dominating me, I hold it like LP in this one, my partner is my partner, a sub is a sub, I might tie my partner to the bed on occasion (something we both quite enjoy) but most of the time having sex is about well, having sex, which usually does require moving around a lot, getting very sweaty and making a hell lot of a noise... I seriously can't be arsed to consider which position somebody might consider dominant or submissive, I'm too busy thoroughly enjoying myself and my orgasms... I know, I know, you're going to tear up my domme license now, I guess I can live with that...

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:25:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Or do you forgo doggy altogether (even if you like it) because of the male being in the power position?

Focus,

Generally, I buy the idea that no given position, or even act, in sex is inherently dominant or submissive. I say 'generally', though, because I find it *really* difficult to slot some acts into that belief. For instance, if I were astride a woman's head and, aheming, on her face . . . . Well, I'm sure you can think of other examples.

But not so taking a woman from behind. I was never that keen, but an ex GF - a vanilla, to boot - pretty much demanded that I do that one night. And I found it horny because her demanding it really did spark off my sub feelings. I'd not have believed that were possible beforehand, but there you go . . . .

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:38:15 AM

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Peon, errr, have you ever considered the fact that doggy style gives the woman a lot more was to direct which nerves in her vagina she wants to have stimulated by moving her hips a certain way, controlling how deep you penetrate her, lets her move around a lot... Of course that only works with guys who don't subscribe to the "ram it in and then hammer away like a jack hammer..." but to guys who actually know what to do with their dicks and how to get a woman off.

Seriously, I always considered doggy style as quite a selfish way to have sex and brought it up with an ex lover, he laughed and said he's willing to indulge me as he quite enjoys the view and then bought me the infamous "Selfish In Bed" T-shirt - I wore that with pride ;)

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:42:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Peon, errr, have you ever considered the fact that doggy style gives the woman a lot more was to direct which nerves in her vagina she wants to have stimulated by moving her hips a certain way, controlling how deep you penetrate her, lets her move around a lot...

Oh god, if I didn't know that before, I certainly did after. My GF didn't stop giving orders and instructions, and was *utterly* selfish about it. That's why I enjoyed it so much!

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:50:25 AM

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I *love* to do doggy-style with good men; although the name is apt, I dislike it, and prefer to order them to 'get on all fours' or just 'bend over, boyfriend!'. Very nice if they have black leather straps [yum!] just below their biceps; perfect handles. There's an even more horrible phrase from 'The Joy of Sex' if I clasp their hands behind their necks so that they tripod ass up, head plastered down into the bed/carpet/chaise longue arm.
But I also enjoy lying down on their backs and reaching under and over the 'cap' of their shoulders which pulls them back onto the strapon for really, really deep penetration and neck-nipping!

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:51:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I seriously can't be arsed to consider which position somebody might consider dominant or submissive, I'm too busy thoroughly enjoying myself and my orgasms...

Perhaps you missed the thread title?

Thanks for the indignant rant anyway....

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:58:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I seriously can't be arsed to consider which position somebody might consider dominant or submissive, I'm too busy thoroughly enjoying myself and my orgasms...

Perhaps you missed the thread title?

Thanks for the indignant rant anyway....

Focus.

Oh lost your sense of humor (again)? Hey if you can't take the answers maybe you shouldn't ask, or maybe you shouldn't ask women who actually enjoy sex and don't just endure it?

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 4:59:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

I *love* to do doggy-style with good men; although the name is apt, I dislike it, and prefer to order them to 'get on all fours' or just 'bend over, boyfriend!'. Very nice if they have black leather straps [yum!] just below their biceps; perfect handles. There's an even more horrible phrase from 'The Joy of Sex' if I clasp their hands behind their necks so that they tripod ass up, head plastered down into the bed/carpet/chaise longue arm.
But I also enjoy lying down on their backs and reaching under and over the 'cap' of their shoulders which pulls them back onto the strapon for really, really deep penetration and neck-nipping!

I'm understanding this as you, the female, in the behind or power position. Lol, pitching, not catching?

Which I get from the dominant perspective but not from the female sex perspective. You don't "receive" doggy-style sex?

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 5:08:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh lost your sense of humor (again)? Hey if you can't take the answers maybe you shouldn't ask, or maybe you shouldn't ask women who actually enjoy sex and don't just endure it?

I guess I'm 0 for 2.... I not only missed the "answer" you gave (to my topic?), I missed the humour, too.

'Cept maybe that "arsed" bizzo - bein' as how we Aussies say/write 'arse' for your American 'ass', and not the donkey variety.... Was that the humour?

Focus.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 7:06:13 AM

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This is not the conversation technique I would have chosen if I had wanted lots of femdom to chime in joyfully with answers to my question.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 7:16:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Which I get from the dominant perspective but not from the female sex perspective. You don't "receive" doggy-style sex?

I receive any service from my hot owned studboys that I think will feel good, whether it's back massaging, toe sucking, doing my dishes, washing my car, or giving me stud service doggy style. Having a human doggy on a leash and whistling, "Here, Fido, good boy" as he obediently services me would just be the extra kinky icing on the cake.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 5/28/2011 7:32:07 AM >

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 7:31:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh dear, you know sometimes sex is about "hitting the right spot" - maybe I'm just not super domme (thank fuck for that, who wants to fly around in leather long johns), but my relationship is not about dominating him or him dominating me, I hold it like LP in this one, my partner is my partner, a sub is a sub, I might tie my partner to the bed on occasion (something we both quite enjoy) but most of the time having sex is about well, having sex, which usually does require moving around a lot, getting very sweaty and making a hell lot of a noise... I seriously can't be arsed to consider which position somebody might consider dominant or submissive, I'm too busy thoroughly enjoying myself and my orgasms... I know, I know, you're going to tear up my domme license now, I guess I can live with that...

Very well said!

Now its time for cold shower because that just sounded really hot for some reason.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 7:50:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

But what of Dommes who do like doggy-style sex with their male/sub? How do you work that? I can't think and rationalise as a female does anymore than I can as a submissive does. Ok, I know well the importance of setting the right headspace for your sub etc, but I'm a little more curious in the finer detail here. Really can't imagine a Domme appreciating being held by the hair, or even the hips - which is the natural place to get a decent grip (and you mostly need to from behind).... Or do you forgo doggy altogether (even if you like it) because of the male being in the power position?

Any takers?

Focus.

Doggy style/animal fucking is perfect because it's a guaranteed orgasm for me...g-spot position and all that jazz. It also allows for me to grip the bejesus out of his cock internally even more and therefore control what he does with it.

Even better when done in front of a mirror...you still have the eye contact which is a huge aspect of control for me.

*fans herself*...goodness, it's warm in here.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 8:26:28 AM

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FR

So, to sum up: Focus is focused (ding!) on the semantics of whose legs go where and who's holding onto what and what that means in terms of dominance in that position.

Our sample of dommes, on the other hand, seem to focus on the intensity of the woman's pleasure and control of her own hip movement in that position.

Fair assessment?

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 8:46:25 AM

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Authority does not change with position.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 8:47:09 AM

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If their gettin it their way...........Burger King.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 9:13:10 AM

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If I want it from behind, that's how I get it. It's a good position, gwnerally. I don't like the "cowgirl" positons, my insides settle funny, and most mean are just not endowed enough to make that aworthwhile ride.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 9:39:24 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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Ok, there's possibly going to be some female TMI here, but you asked for it so suck it up.

My uterus has a tendency to tilt backwards. It's closer to midline now that I've had children, but it still tips a bit. This makes it more likely that the guy will bump against my cervix during doggie-style sex, which can be painful. I can, and do, enjoy it doggie-style from time to time, but I have to prop myself up with pillows and contort myself into an odd position to get comfortable. He also has to be more careful and adjust his strokes to be shallower. When engaged in doggie-style sex, I'm constantly giving directions and feedback to make sure he isn't hurting me.

I have to be more in control during doggie-style sex than I do during sex in the missionary position. He may be in a position that could be physically dominant, but I'm the one in control. Always.

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RE: Dommes and Doggy-style. - 5/28/2011 9:41:00 AM

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Tipped vaginas are very common, and therefore bruised cervixes. I feel for you, dicks don't know tipped from nothin'.

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