ChatteParfaitt
Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011 From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Is this where the internet dustups come from? look. Awareness is in large measure correct. There is a significant percentage of female subs who fit that profile perfectly. I have been rejected by a lot of women, and the #1 reason for rejection was my lack of competitive masculine presence Now. lucky for me, there are women who want what I have to offer, but most of them went through more controlling, macho filled relationships first. They were drawn to such relationships and learned through experience that they wanted something else. further, his description of female dominance fits well the relation of a pro domme to her clients. His sample is probably profiles from collarme and similar web sites, and perhaps his own patronization of an establishment when he wanted to be topped on the down low. I doubt he knows any femdoms in real who are in stable loving relationships. but how many posters here do? I don't see anything controversial. I spent 20 years in a emotionally abusive relationship with a controlling macho man. We were married and have 2 children together, and I was committed. It was a mistake. Although sexually that opposites attract thing can be hot, the emotional reality for me is that too much control makes me shut down, and macho posturing makes me lose respect. Now I am with someone who does not at all present as a controlling macho man, just the opposite in fact. And yet he has for years served as my emotional anchor. I've learned that what my submissive side needs most is someone who can be the quiet calming influence on my sometimes volatile emotions. quote:
In contrast - and admittedly looking from the outside in - female dominance appears to be more of an assumed mantle which requires no character traits or strength, merely the caprice to act as you will. The reality of the numbers game means that female dominants have more options and don't have to demonstrate any character attributes, they merely have to tie into their sub's sexual kink and lead him around by his gonads. I cannot recall a single time when a male sub or slave has said they've left their mistress because she's failed to provide what he needs. In contrast, female subs appear to do this all the time. I can only presume that either the numbers game means a Domme can be lazy without consequence or the D/s interaction is very fundamentally different from what occurs in a male/female D/s scenario. ~Awareness This paragraph just made me smile. When I first met the man who has been my male sub for about 5 years now, he came to my house, took me out to dinner, and then we went back to my place. I allowed him to worship my feet and then led him into the bedroom for one of the most wonderful massages I have ever had. To do this, I stripped down to my underwear. He was enamored to say the least, and thought for sure he had me in such a delightfully sensual puddle (he did) that I would fall into his arms for some hot sex. It didn't happen, I sent him back to his hotel room. He later told me how astonished he was that I had enough control to just get up and (nicely) kick him out. He knew then I had the strength of will to dominant him, despite how manipulative he can be at times. Strength of will is, to me, at the back bone of dominance. And strength of will is neither a male or female trait. When someone has it, that becomes apparent, and a submissive will be attracted to it and will (often) respond to it.
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