RE: what fucking community?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: what fucking community?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: what fucking community?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:31:50 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

LOL People do tend to insult and laugh at things they don't understand.

irony, thy name is thatmissbitch.

look, i'm not saying there aren't local groups that are communities, vc's group is an obvious example. i've been involved in local groups in two different cities myself. it's the mythical "the community" or "the lifestyle" the all-encompassing one that some people seem to think exists.

quote:

there would be acceptance and a bit of tolerance.

fuck that shit, you're accepting and tolerant of ideas and people who you agree with and that's it. if you claim otherwise then you're lying. how do i know? just look around you sugar, you're none too fucking accepting of me and my ideas. if you really are accepting, then be it. me? i never claimed to be accepting and tolerant, so i don't fucking have to, but you do, you claim it as part of your way, so walk the talk babe.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to ThatsMissBitch)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:32:45 AM

Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23
Of course, there was kinky sex involved, but it was so much more then that. And it still is. And once you accept that and join in you will realize that BDSM has so much more to offer you then just "kinky sex"

I am glad you have had such enriching experiences. I am afraid, however, they do not match up to my personal experiences. As someone who's sole interest in being involved in BDSM revolves around D/S relationships and has no interest in casual play or really anything to do with S/M in general, I've found there is little for me in the public BDSM community. I hang around, both online and offline, because it presents the opportunity to exchange thoughts and interact with people who people who practice M/S and D/S relationships and potentially meet someone who shares the same viewpoints.

So sorry...at the end of the day, it really is mostly just a bunch of people who get together to talk and practice kinky sex and if you aren't all that interested in that, there is not going to be much for you. Any enriching experiences I have had can be sourced to the quality of my own interpersonal relationships with people and not this enlightened existence of the "greater community" as a whole.

_____________________________

I was once a Rabbit, driven Mad, by the Decadence of his Desires...

(in reply to stoni23)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:33:04 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I won't say shit about this life from thirty years ago because I had barely grown tits. If you want to talk about roughly half of that, then I'm your gal.

Okie Dokie, LP....Lets talk about your right one. Thats my gal!!!! (can you do a little lipstick on it for me Joey?)

LOL.

What? You don't prefer the one on the left? That's the one with the ink.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 8/12/2011 10:34:59 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:34:03 AM

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What? You don't prefer the one on the left? That's the one with the ink.

*perks up*

Nobody told me there was ink?!?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:34:06 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

You always want to be the dominant, dont you? OK, what is the inking?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:35:39 AM

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
i keep seeing people post shit like "people in the community should be more welcoming", or "being hard on newbies will drive them away from the lifestyle". so fucking what i say. who gives a crap if some random person gets into wiitwd or not. what the fuck are you, some sort of bdsm proselyte? out to spread the word?

Oh, dear. We are just going to keep disagreeing. Aw, well.

What i've never understood is the idea that if we're NOT a community it means that we don't have to show common courtesy to other posters, however new or old. To me it's not a question of being a community, or trying to recruit people. It more a question of, dude, would you talk to people on the street like that, if you had to look them in the face while you said it? And i'll do you the justice to say i think that you, personally, would. But there's a lot of people just using the internet to get their rude on, because it's an anonymous medium. That has nothing to do with the lack of community, and everything to do with the lack of good manners.

When i first came to collarme, i started what seems to be the obligatory thread about how rude everyone was. i can tell you that went down like a lead balloon. People told me, this is how we talk, the honesty is so refreshing, and if you're that sensitive you should just leave. i thought about it and decided they were right. It is unrealistic of me to expect posters to change the way they post because i don't like it. Furthermore, the honesty IS refreshing- as long as there's a point in there somewhere. Snark for snark's own sake... well, i've never gotten used to that. Some people just seem to have a bee up their butt. But most of the time there is a point, and i'm willing to screen out the snark in order to hear it.

So i guess my counter-question to you is this: It's not a community, it's just the internet. Everyone has the right to express themselves how they like, provided they're not breaking TOS. If that gives you the right to be snarky, why doesn't it give someone else the right to complain that you're snarky?

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
why do people seem to think there is more to this shit, where does this backasswards idea of a "community" come from? and why do they think we are any fucking different than any other group of random people?

Because these random people on the internet are enough of a community to be concerned when Arpig's meds are off, or when Maxsboy goes through a identity crisis, or when there's a death in LadyPact's family, or when Termy suddenly stops posting, or that DarkSteven may have to look for a new job, or any of the hundred other things that demonstrate that people on these forums have a real, emotional connection to other posters, some of whom they have never met, and probably never will. Isn't THAT what makes a community? What is a community if it's not a random group of people that have simply decided that they are one? Are you sure it's not a community, at least for some people? To me, it's really just a matter of perception.

pam

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:36:13 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

ink? you knew this was coming. pics or it never happened.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:38:27 AM

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Hannah, I lived in places where there was a really great community, you know where you could actually call people and ask them questions, ask for advise and all that, other places I wouldn't want to go near them because it was pretty seedy, think kinky swinger club with strange people.

I don't think there is a world wide community, there are people who can make places a community by putting in work.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:41:29 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

And there you have it folks!!!!

A quick and dirty, on the spot, ad-hoc, colloquial gathering of an inked left tit sub-community, right here on CollarMe THE LARGEST BDSM COMMUNITY ON THE PLANET.

Now go out there and get yours, kids.........the world is your left inked tit!!!!

ConsensualConsensusCommunityCommander

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 8/12/2011 10:45:54 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:46:07 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

ink? you knew this was coming. pics or it never happened.

It's already on the pics, babe. Take a good, hard look at the avatar on the left and the left breast in particular.

(Damn, what a gal has to do these days to have folks check out her rack.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:51:17 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

Oh, dear. We are just going to keep disagreeing. Aw, well.

fuck pam, it would be a waste of both our special talents if we didn't.

quote:

If that gives you the right to be snarky, why doesn't it give someone else the right to complain that you're snarky?

they're free to complain, it's the argument i objected to in this case. the idea of some sort of community standard that had to be upheld <see why it rubbed me wrong

>

quote:

Are you sure it's not a community, at least for some people?

i already conceded that these boards are a community of sorts, but it's not so much the bdsm as the continuous exchange of ideas that brings us together. i mean for fuck's sake the yahoos down in p&r are planning a get together for fuck's sake, and they despise everything the others stand for down there. these boards have a fuck of a lot less to do with bdsm than they do a debating society. we'll argue and discuss anything for fuck's sake. we had the nature of time, how to care for an injured bird, riots in the uk, the art & tammy show, tit flashing, and a bazillion other topics unrelated in any way to bdsm. and they go on for pages and pages. we care for each other not for how we do our kink, but because of all the other shit we talk about. hell i don't even know if termy is gay, straight, dom, sub, top, bottom or anything. i like the fucker because of the shit he says about everything else we discuss. bdsm is just the common link that brought us here and the framework for much of what we discuss, but it's our love of debate that keeps us here. we all just fucking love telling other people what we think about shit.

random, off topic and p&r are the liveliest fucking parts of these boards. that should tell you something about the community of collarchat.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:57:00 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

It's already on the pics, babe. Take a good, hard look at the avatar on the left and the left breast in particular.

(Damn, what a gal has to do these days to have folks check out her rack.)

i can't see it, so i checked out your pics on your profile. it's easier to see in one of the other shots, so ok. it happened.

and shit, i should have checked out your pics earlier, you're a fucking hot piece you are. to bad you're not into girls, i'd take you for out for a test drive any day. rawrr!

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 10:58:20 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Even if this isn't a community, that is no reason to go out of one's way to be rude to newcomers.

You're assuming anyone's going out of their way.

This comes naturally, believe me.

Hell, I have to go out of MY way to be nice to most of them!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 11:33:46 AM

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

You are simply into kinky sex.

And this bothers you why?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to stoni23)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 11:35:03 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I'm a little late for this one and the only thing I have to add might piss off a couple folks, but oh well here goes. One I agree with the op, thank you Hanna, and heres why. This is only my point of view but it might do a few others well to try seeing it from here. When you speak replace bdsm with a different word...example...try goth or pagan, or even something like metalhead. If you are bright you will already know what I am talking about. They are catch all terms that define a lot of different people, but they do not mean they are part of a community. If it makes you feel better to think you belong to a big family of folks thats great but as with what happens in many real familys just because you claim them it doesn't mean they want any part of you.

As to those folks that think it is ok to say someone is missing out, or closed minded, or you feel sorry for them because they don't see things the same way. Back up and look in a mirror. How dare anyone say such a thing. Sorry for the people I am about to offend but you remind me of fuffy bunny neo pagans that say solitary practionars are not "real". No one has any right to say what anyone is doing is right or wrong. Or if it is real, or fake. I have been doing what I do for around 25 years, and I take note of others but let no one but myself set my rules. Personally I have taken part in events, gatherings, etc. but I do not think of myself as part of a community. And I find that computers only make words like community worse. As I have told many folks I know online..."Sorry, but unless I have met you in the real world. Unless I would trust you to spend time with my child. We are not part of the same community" Sorry that is just how it is.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 2:20:33 PM

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i keep seeing people post shit like "people in the community should be more welcoming", or "being hard on newbies will drive them away from the lifestyle". so fucking what i say. who gives a crap if some random person gets into wiitwd or not. what the fuck are you, some sort of bdsm proselyte? out to spread the word?

this isn't a community, there is no community, not online not offline, it's just a bunch of random people who like doing sick-ass shit to other people. all we have in common is the way we fuck. if that defines who you are so deeply, then fucked if your not in the wading pool of life. bdsm is just fancy fucking, and this "community" is no more a "community" than people who like knitting are.

sweet mary's tits! we are people from vastly divergent lives, worlds and experiences who just happen to have somewhat vaguely convergent interests in how we like our sex and personal relationships. that implies no obligation to be in anyway supportive, understanding or helpful to anybody. ask a stupid fucking question, get a stupid fucking answer, just like in the real world.

why do people seem to think there is more to this shit, where does this backasswards idea of a "community" come from? and why do they think we are any fucking different than any other group of random people?

Couldn't agree more.
BDSM happens to be how I fuck and how Shorey and I express love for each other.
Nothing says I love you like a hard slap to the face.

I don't consider myself belonging to the scrabble community just because I happen to like to play scrabble and have that in common with a million other people.
Why would this be any different?
I don't see vanilla people who don't explore kink voicing that they are part of a community.
They're just people making the best of relationships.
I also think that people who feel the need to belong to a community comprised of BDSM are either low in self esteem or riding such a high horse that they need to express how they feel that they are so much better.

Those who feel that we don't live a full, well rounded life together because we aren't members of the "community" should spend just one day with us and they would see that they are mistaken.
I don't need any sort of validation from others as to whether or not I'm doing things to their specifications or rules.
I really couldn't care less. The only other person who's opinion matters to me is Shore's.
As long as I'm on board with his concept and it meshes with mine and we're both happy then that's all that matters to me.

_____________________________

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 2:40:46 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i keep seeing people post shit like "people in the community should be more welcoming", or "being hard on newbies will drive them away from the lifestyle". so fucking what i say. who gives a crap if some random person gets into wiitwd or not. what the fuck are you, some sort of bdsm proselyte? out to spread the word?

this isn't a community, there is no community, not online not offline, it's just a bunch of random people who like doing sick-ass shit to other people. all we have in common is the way we fuck. if that defines who you are so deeply, then fucked if your not in the wading pool of life. bdsm is just fancy fucking, and this "community" is no more a "community" than people who like knitting are.

sweet mary's tits! we are people from vastly divergent lives, worlds and experiences who just happen to have somewhat vaguely convergent interests in how we like our sex and personal relationships. that implies no obligation to be in anyway supportive, understanding or helpful to anybody. ask a stupid fucking question, get a stupid fucking answer, just like in the real world.

why do people seem to think there is more to this shit, where does this backasswards idea of a "community" come from? and why do they think we are any fucking different than any other group of random people?

Can't disagree. But I've enjoyed CM forums for years without getting *close* to anyone nor do I feel part of a community. I quite like a few people from afar, and that's about it.

Not so much with my muso group! That IS a community. So what's the difference? Probably the simple fact that I am invested in it and am very keen. I want to be in it, I want to learn and share with better musicians than I am.

Bdsm? nah, I can manage perfectly well with the mean, imaginitive Owner I have. We don't need input at all but clearly some people do. people DO think that having an interest in bdsm means there's some weird world-wide hand-holding group.

Thinking about my foray into the muso group I've been in for a year, on my own..Yeah, it was really helpful that people didn't just frown on my lack of muso ettiquette or skills. They overlooked all of my gauche attempts to join in and now I'm one of the lads..because they taught me the ins and outs of being in a muso group.

The bdsm stuff is also like a minefield.New people viewing tend to think that it's all terribly kumbaya but there's only half a dozen people I'd want to spend an afternoon with.Some of them probably rather dislike me...lol

agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 2:40:49 PM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

We're a community whether you like it or not...we may not be the kind holding hands and singing love songs but we are here, on this forum, discussing, what it is that we all do, under a similar umbrella. Maybe not the same colored umbrella but still close enough.

Community doesn't always mean warm touchy feely lovey dovey affections for another.. At times it means, simply, a group of people (maybe like a sub-division) that are together in a location or locations.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 2:44:32 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

We're a community whether you like it or not...we may not be the kind holding hands and singing love songs but we are here, on this forum, discussing, what it is that we all do, under a similar umbrella. Maybe not the same colored umbrella but still close enough.

Community doesn't always mean warm touchy feely lovey dovey affections for another.. At times it means, simply, a group of people (maybe like a sub-division) that are together in a location or locations.

Of course it doesn't. When I get some feel-good feeling from CM I'll celebrate.......lol

I'm part of Cm cos people know my name and moan about my font :)

agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: what fucking community? - 8/12/2011 2:59:59 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

A whole lot about this guy's posts bug me, but this bit really stuck out to me:

quote:

the golden era of BDSM

What sheer and utter idiocy. Complete and unmitigated balderdash & bullshit. See here you uppity little whippersnapper, if there is a "golden era of BDSM", THIS is it. You don't get arrested, you have clubs, you have munches and all the rest of the paraphernalia associated with the bogus "community" you so adore, there are websites like this one and Fet that are dedicated to getting you together with others who want to do the same thing you do. You aren't going to be committed to a mental hospital for liking your ass whupped.

You are in the Golden Age, and it's being wasted on you BDSM was around long before the first Leather families, long before the Old Guard, long before de Sade. it started way back at Lescaeux when some cro magnon slapped a woman and instead of hitting him with a rock, she got turned on. Understand me, it's part of human nature, it always has been and always will be, and as such it requires no organizing or community to reach it's full potential. Nor does it require any rules or anything else. All it needs is two people who want to do it. Too many people seem to think that BDSM began in 1949, it didn't.

As to the OP. Damn right. "The community" is a pipedream of those who are simply unable to stand on their own, who need to pretend there is something special about what it is we do. There isn't. It's just the way we like to do it, nothing more, nothing better about it, no more intense or deep an emotional bond. As for local communities such as that mentioned by VC, or those frequented by LadyP, those are a different thing altogether, but as Hannah pointed out, and has been made obvious by various people's experiences with various different groups, they are all different, and often not even on speaking terms with other groups that make up the supposed "community". There's more commonality and "community" at the U.N.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to stoni23)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: what fucking community?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.233