what fucking community? (Full Version)

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HannahLynHeather -> what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:03:49 AM)

i keep seeing people post shit like "people in the community should be more welcoming", or "being hard on newbies will drive them away from the lifestyle". so fucking what i say. who gives a crap if some random person gets into wiitwd or not. what the fuck are you, some sort of bdsm proselyte? out to spread the word?

this isn't a community, there is no community, not online not offline, it's just a bunch of random people who like doing sick-ass shit to other people. all we have in common is the way we fuck. if that defines who you are so deeply, then fucked if your not in the wading pool of life. bdsm is just fancy fucking, and this "community" is no more a "community" than people who like knitting are.

sweet mary's tits! we are people from vastly divergent lives, worlds and experiences who just happen to have somewhat vaguely convergent interests in how we like our sex and personal relationships. that implies no obligation to be in anyway supportive, understanding or helpful to anybody. ask a stupid fucking question, get a stupid fucking answer, just like in the real world.

why do people seem to think there is more to this shit, where does this backasswards idea of a "community" come from? and why do they think we are any fucking different than any other group of random people?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:08:29 AM)

Do NOT get me started, Hannah!! This is a bunch of fucking cats on crack! OFFLINE is even worse!

I see the world of kink as a bowling league. Everyone on the league likes bowling. Or maybe they like being close to beer. Or maybe they like wearing odd shoes, or the fetching fingerless glove. Whatever. They are THE BOWLING LEAGUE. THAT IS ALL. Outside the league, they are a vast array of humans with differing backgrounds and beliefs, and each one of them is ENTIRELY RIGHT ALL THE TIME.

See, you almost got me started!



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:18:19 AM)

i'm not sure how you really fucking feel about this, could you elaborate?[sm=poke.gif]

[sm=evil.gif]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:19:07 AM)

HAHAHAHAAAAAAA you are so obviously not on Fetlife!



littlewonder -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:23:33 AM)

I've never understood the community comments either.

There is no community, never has been unless you belong to some kind of leather family which is where I think all this started. I think  a lot of people carried it over from that or think that because we all enjoy "bdsm" then we must all think alike and all that crap. It's THE reason I don't go to munches or parties or any of that. I don't have anything at all in common with the people when I go there. I look around and think to myself "nope, no one here I would ever be friends with in a million years" and leave.

I think a lot of people who think we are some kind of community also are simply looking to belong to something. They're the type who never felt they belonged anywhere and they're desperately searching for somewhere where others will accept them. I never felt that way so maybe that's the reason I don't do the whole community shit.



LaTigresse -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:24:58 AM)

I am just waiting for the inevitable...........someone to drag in a dictionary and argue that yes, it is so a community!

Wonder how long it will take..



mnottertail -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:27:46 AM)

Sure theres a community, it just aint 'our Town', its Manhattan at rush hour, and we are all late and want all the fuckheads off the road.

And GAWD I love this town!!!!!!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:28:49 AM)

I bown down to the wisdom of Ron. Which would be a much better experience if he were wearing a kilt just saying.



LadyConstanze -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:30:50 AM)

I've noticed some BDSM communities, where people do stuff like teaching each other, organizing events, making sure members are safe, pretty much like any other group that has the same interest and meets up to communicate with each other. Not everybody will be best friends, some people will still not be able to stand each other, not a big deal, same as if you have a bunch of sports fans or people with similar interests.



Icarys -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:33:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am just waiting for the inevitable...........someone to drag in a dictionary and argue that yes, it is so a community!

Wonder how long it will take..


http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/community

How long was that?



VaguelyCurious -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:36:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

HAHAHAHAAAAAAA you are so obviously not on Fetlife!

Lady H made me laugh in my bad place.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:37:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

HAHAHAHAAAAAAA you are so obviously not on Fetlife!

Lady H made me laugh in my bad place.



My work here is done! [:D]



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:37:39 AM)

"bdsm is just fancy fucking"

I feel sorry for you



littlewonder -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:37:54 AM)

the problem with the community definition is a "common interest".

What's the common interest? Bdsm? Bdsm is too broad to be considered common imo. You'd have to break it down into subgroups. I personally have found I have very little to nothing in common with others into bdsm. So unless I could find one or two or more into the same subgroup within bdsm then maybe I could say it's a community. Otherwise it's just too diverse a range to be so.




HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:42:50 AM)

quote:

I feel sorry for you
oh christ, just what we don't fucking need. another airie fairie its all deep and spiritual dipshit.[8|]

wake the fuck up.



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:43:34 AM)

A community is what you make it. To me, enjoying this lifestyle with friends makes it more complete to me. The group I have of friends I consider to be a small community within the bigger picture.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:45:12 AM)

quote:

Otherwise it's just too diverse a range to be so.
yea. i mean just look at how much we agree about on here. [:D]

we can't even agree on what the words we use mean, how the fuck can we be considered a community?



JWriter -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:45:44 AM)

Spoken like a truly uptight, selfish, vanilla person. Congratulations on showing your true color. Or, lack thereof, more to the point.

BDSM is a community, there are networks, there are standards. That you don't join into them just goes to show how out of touch you are. Try pulling your head out of your ass and using it for thinking, learning how to be a part of BDSM, instead of viewing it all as just divergent people running around playing their selfish, kinky sex games. You might just find you like it. You might even find a reason to have a civil tongue in your head, from time to time, instead of being a constant oozing poster child for PMS. Might, I say!

I am in touch with many people, from many different walks of life, who are all into BDSM. There are vast difference in monetary status, sexual desires, religious beliefs, etc., but, we all get along most of the time, and, can host each other without qualm, as we all know each other from years of being involved in BDSM and we all know that "safe, sane and consensual" is an absolute goal, not just something to laugh about as being old-fashioned, on the forum, before making another snide, ripping comment about people who truly do belong in the community.

Grow up!



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:45:53 AM)

Deep and spiritual? No. I'm atheist. Sure I like getting high on endorphins but I don't find anything spiritual about the lifestyle.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:47:51 AM)

quote:

The group I have of friends I consider to be a small community
see, now we're talking different things. a small group of friends who share kink is way fucking different than "the community".



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