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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 12:09:52 PM   
orchid77


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OP I tend to not like the word because it is used to vilify and sexually exploit women. It is not used to make her seem powerful. A man uses the word, "I want to make her my bitch." Meaning I want her to do whatever the hell I tell her to do. Or he says, "She is such a bitch." Meaning, she is unable to be reasoned with. It doesn't give anyone any since of empowerment or achievement. So a dominant woman who calls herself a bitch...doesn't bother me persay she can call herself whatever she likes, but I would hope she understands that it doesn't really mean she is a respected.

Personally, I don't find it is alluring, attractive, or powerful. For me it just means a female dog barking. What's beautiful about that?

IMHOP

< Message edited by orchid77 -- 8/21/2011 12:10:41 PM >

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 12:14:02 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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quote:

The perception that we all were bitches and that is what made us dominant, I would argue.


I don't know, maybe it's the Dominas I've met here and on other sites but I've never felt that way although some have acted bitchy - and yes I make that distinction. In general I really like the ones who post here.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 12:14:56 PM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Do you consider yourself a Bitch?

  • If yes, what does being a Bitch mean to you? Why do you like it?
  • If no, how does it feel when dominant women either refer to themselves or are referred to as Bitches?

There really isn't a right or a wrong answer. I'm purely interested in perceptions at this time. Of course I have my perception but I'll reserve it for now ;-)




No, I don't consider myself a bitch.

I really don't care if someone else wants to refer to themselves as a bitch. If someone says they are a bitch, I'll believe them and tend to keep my distance. I don't much care to associate with bitchy people.

When some random stranger tromps into the forums refering to 'all' dominants as bitches, that says a lot more about them than it does about the people who post here or dominants in general. Then I would tend to avoid 'that' person.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 2:00:02 PM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: orchid77



Personally, I don't find it is alluring, attractive, or powerful. For me it just means a female dog barking. What's beautiful about that?





Actually bitch just means female dog.

Now go on and tell me the bitch on the left is not a beauty? I'll go and bite you myself!









Attachment (1)

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 2:45:26 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
There is nothing vain in defining one's self, unless one is boasting about their virtues. It is actually a healthy exercise to reflect on our behaviour and set goals for self-improvement.


Nicely put, LA. Besides, I think women still have some way to go in carving out a space for their personalities, particularly the aggressive sides of them. Everyone here should feel that they can carry on describing the nature of their own bitchiness with my blessing.


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 2:47:53 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Actually bitch just means female dog.

Now go on and tell me the bitch on the left is not a beauty? I'll go and bite you myself!



Easy to distinguish. One of them is known to be barking a great deal of the time, while the other one is a dog.


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 2:55:45 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
There is nothing vain in defining one's self, unless one is boasting about their virtues. It is actually a healthy exercise to reflect on our behaviour and set goals for self-improvement.


Nicely put, LA. Besides, I think women still have some way to go in carving out a space for their personalities, particularly the aggressive sides of them. Everyone here should feel that they can carry on describing the nature of their own bitchiness with my blessing.



Oh so we have your blessing now. Weeeeellllll, my day is now complete! ;-)

And I'm not going for aggressive. I'm going for assertive.


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:09:42 PM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Actually bitch just means female dog.

Now go on and tell me the bitch on the left is not a beauty? I'll go and bite you myself!



Easy to distinguish. One of them is known to be barking a great deal of the time, while the other one is a dog.



Are you calling me a dog?

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:10:28 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Do you consider yourself a Bitch?

At times, yes I do consider myself a bitch, thats cuz i dont take shit from most people. And they are wise not to really piss me off! Just ask anyone I have sued, even sued a lawyer once.. (and won)..

I am a sub only when I have a Dom and i am with him, but not with anyone else..

... oh yeah, and I am a very opinionated bitch at times too!

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:16:37 PM   
LadyAngelika


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I don't mean to pick on your post in particular, but here is where some of the stereotypes get me:

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
At times, yes I do consider myself a bitch, thats cuz i dont take shit from most people. And they are wise not to really piss me off! Just ask anyone I have sued, even sued a lawyer once.. (and won)..

I don't take shit from people either. Sometimes, I can ignore them, sometimes I can dismiss them and sometimes I can confront them. I don't think that I'm always necessarily being a bitch about it (though I'm sure I have been once or twice, which is not something I boast about).
quote:

I am a sub only when I have a Dom and i am with him, but not with anyone else..

Well I have a dominant personality. Does this mean that, according to your definition, I'm a bitch?
quote:

... oh yeah, and I am a very opinionated bitch at times too!

And does having an opinion make one a bitch?

Again, I ask not to attack your post, but I think that when we say we reclaim the word, we are someone trying to justify these traits. I think that this simply being a well adapted woman.


< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 8/21/2011 3:17:49 PM >


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:20:44 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Oh so we have your blessing now. Weeeeellllll, my day is now complete! ;-)

And I'm not going for aggressive. I'm going for assertive.




Nearly gotcha, didn't I? ;-) My ex GF, bless her, would seethe all night at a comment like that before finally exploding and shouting 'What makes you think I need your blessing?!!'. Fun!

But, seriously, women are *light years* behind men in this matter (assertiveness or aggressiveness - I appreciate the difference, but the same thing applies). I'm afraid there's still a whiff in this thread of 'I'm a gutsy gal . . . well, if that's all right by you men, that is'. When was the last time you heard a man trying to justify his assertive nature? Frankly, I think you should all just get on with it and *be* it.




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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:25:52 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Are you calling me a dog?


Jeez . . . I had a horrible idea that question was coming. No, of course not, you nutcase. Even if I thought that, which I don't, I value my life too much to have said it.

I was joking about you being 'barking mad'. Common, albeit slightly old-fashioned, UK expression. *Joking*, mind.

Ask Mr Constanze . . . .

Bloody non-native English speakers. OK, my fault, my fault. Should have remembered. :-(


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:28:48 PM   
LadyConstanze


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LOL, you sound a bit in a panic, what's wrong?

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:28:52 PM   
GreedyTop


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(fwiw, Peon, I got it... )

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:35:24 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I don't mean to pick on your post in particular, but here is where some of the stereotypes get me:

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
At times, yes I do consider myself a bitch, thats cuz i dont take shit from most people. And they are wise not to really piss me off! Just ask anyone I have sued, even sued a lawyer once.. (and won)..

I don't take shit from people either. Sometimes, I can ignore them, sometimes I can dismiss them and sometimes I can confront them. I don't think that I'm always necessarily being a bitch about it (though I'm sure I have been once or twice, which is not something I boast about).
quote:

I am a sub only when I have a Dom and i am with him, but not with anyone else..

Well I have a dominant personality. Does this mean that, according to your definition, I'm a bitch?
quote:

... oh yeah, and I am a very opinionated bitch at times too!

And does having an opinion make one a bitch?

Again, I ask not to attack your post, but I think that when we say we reclaim the word, we are someone trying to justify these traits. I think that this simply being a well adapted woman.


well, I am not a bitch all of the time.. most of the time i am pretty even keeled. But, if push comes to shove,... yeah, I will do whatever I need to do.

I say I am a slut too.. but not to everyone.. That "S" word is also being reclaimed, if you will. There are some people that understand this and some that dont.. I seriously doubt i would proclaim to be a slut on a vanilla chat site however... Here tho, people understand that.

So, it depends on who you are dealing with, the situation, etc... I dont think of the word bitch in a bad way at all, its more like celebrating that you are a bitch or slut.. If i was in a board meeting and had to be hard assed and someone called me a bitch,.. it would make me smile,.. no one calls you a bitch in that situation without you having gotten under their skin and them not being able to shut you down despite trying..


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:40:05 PM   
PeonForHer


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Greedy - thank you!

Lady C: I had a Japanese GF once. She'd sometimes stew for days about a comment I'd made because, though her English was really good, she sometimes misinterpreted things because of some tiny nuance. Once she threw a seismic wobbly because she thought that I'd called her a 'pig' a week earlier. I hadn't, I'd just used the expression 'made a pig's ear of it' in relation to her trying to grill cheese toasties. It took me frigging hours of deep contemplation and memory-searching to work out what the *hell* she was talking about.

I had a flashback, is all . . . .

As you were, everyone. Sorry for the interruption.

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:42:04 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Oh so we have your blessing now. Weeeeellllll, my day is now complete! ;-)

And I'm not going for aggressive. I'm going for assertive.



Nearly gotcha, didn't I? ;-) My ex GF, bless her, would seethe all night at a comment like that before finally exploding and shouting 'What makes you think I need your blessing?!!'. Fun!

With all due respect to your ex GF (I'm sure she was lovely), you have wake up early in the morning to get me ;-)
quote:

But, seriously, some women are *light years* behind men in this matter (assertiveness or aggressiveness - I appreciate the difference, but the same thing applies).

I added a word (in bold) to help you write a more accurate sentence. I think over 10 years in the boardroom has been good for me.
quote:

I'm afraid there's still a whiff in this thread of 'I'm a gutsy gal . . . well, if that's all right by you men, that is'.

I agree with you there. I don't see why we need to reclaim the word bitch. I completely accept that some women want to and feel they need to, but it leaves me with this same impression.
quote:

When was the last time you heard a man trying to justify his assertive nature?

Assertive? I actually see a lot of men struggling with it. They are often agressive, looking like pitbulls in a dog fight. Men who pull assertive off well aren't the majority.
quote:

Frankly, I think you should all just get on with it and *be* it.

Nah. I think this is an interesting topic to discuss. You are welcome to sit, listen and learn something ;-)

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:44:15 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

I dont think of the word bitch in a bad way at all, its more like celebrating that you are a bitch or slut.


I guess since I really don't consider myself either of those (I may have used them in the past, but I have revised this), I'm not going to celebrate either.

I do want to thank you for contributing your perspective. :)


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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:46:45 PM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Greedy - thank you!

Lady C: I had a Japanese GF once. She'd sometimes stew for days about a comment I'd made because, though her English was really good, she sometimes misinterpreted things because of some tiny nuance. Once she threw a seismic wobbly because she thought that I'd called her a 'pig' a week earlier. I hadn't, I'd just used the expression 'made a pig's ear of it' in relation to her trying to grill cheese toasties. It took me frigging hours of deep contemplation and memory-searching to work out what the *hell* she was talking about.

I had a flashback, is all . . . .

As you were, everyone. Sorry for the interruption.



LOL, for what it's worth, I understood but just had fun rattling your chain...

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RE: Do you consider yourself a Bitch? - 8/21/2011 3:55:58 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
I agree with you there. I don't see why we need to reclaim the word bitch.

maybe "reclaim" is the wrong or incorrect description.. words evolve, grow, change meaning over time, come to mean something very different.. that is why the dictionary changes, new words are added, new definitions of existing words are added..

The word "nice" at times means the exact opposite..
Synonyms
2. friendly. 3. delicate, exact, exacting, critical, scrupulous, discriminating, discerning, particular. 7. polite. 10, 12. finical.

Antonyms
1. unpleasant. 2. unkind. 3. careless. 9. improper.



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