From: where it's at
quote: actually duckworth, you do suck at it. you're about as good at as submicheal is at writing fucking porn. you simply don't understand the first thing about it. you have no concept of the value of repetition, its numbing effect or how it heightens the impact of a sudden departure from pattern. you also have no concept of the best way to sling an insult, you focus yours too narrowly on the person's perceived traits, think outside the fucking box. you have no originality, you don't invent new words that have an indefinable sting to them, without having any actual sting, you have no clue how to make an innocuous word into an insult, do you babycakes? nor can you make the target laugh while they are being insulted.
No I don't, Heather - and you know I don't. ;-)
you also haven't grasped how to make the audience laugh as well. you are a rank amateur, lover, you don't use recursive self insulting turns of phrase to add a touch of irony to your insults, you are completely lacking in any talent for the sacrilegious, nor do you exhibit any skill at including the proof of the insult within your insult. you have no grasp of how to make a compliment part of your insult, similarly you have no ability to bury a hidden insult beneath the camouflage of the obvious insults.
and you have no fucking balls, sweetheart, you just won't go there, you won't cross that line, you're afraid to go to far. simply put, you try. you have no natural affinity for it and so your efforts are forced. you have to let it flow, one doesn't construct so much as create, you must become one with the insult. just as there is an art to communicating politely, there is an art to doing so rudely. let's take an example or two of your efforts shall we?
quote:ok "fuckhannah" is a good start, it slings my favorite word back at me, and is homourous.
Actually, Fuckannah, you repulsive little twat-mouth, that does in fact have some truth to it. I was nearly as young as you when I had that relationship, and only slightly less a moronic 'I'm the only radical around who can't conceive that she's got prejudices' bollocks-for-brained arse-plug that you are now.
"repulsive little twat-mouth" this one is a fail, you are once again referring to my language, this is simply a doubling of effort in the same phrase, and thus lessens it's impact.
"moronic 'I'm the only radical around who can't conceive that she's got prejudices'" this also is a failure, for it is obviously an attempt to turn what annoys you about me into an insult by extrapolating an obvious falsehood from an perceived attitude, but you haven't managed to do so. your construction renders the phrase nonsensical, you require the reader to go back and reread to parse out what you actually said. as well you are including too many targets within a single phrase, the reader can't focus on the flaw being highlighted. rather than insult me, it insults you, without the irony of the recursive self-insult, you are simply exhibiting your own intellectual shortcomings and inability to truly understand your target.
"bollocks-for-brained arse-plug" this one has potential, but it is clumsy, it doesn't read smoothly, i would have done it like this: "bollocks-for-brains arse-plug". try reading them both, which is smoother and more memorable?
as well you have left out a few key little words here and there and used the grammatically incorrect word on occasion. it's the details that make the insult read properly. now here's the way i would have constructed this line:
quote: see how it just fucking works better on several levels?
Actually, Fuckannah, you repulsive bollocks-for-brains arse-plug, that does in fact have some truth to it. I was nearly as young as you when I had that relationship, and only slightly less of a moronic "i'm too radical for my own skin" little twat-mouth who simply can't conceive that she's got prejudices of her own than you are now.
quote:oh dear sweet mary's milky teats! this one is just fucking pathetic. trying to insult me by targeting my swearing. tired and amateurish in the extreme. dear lord above, surely even you could make at least a little more effort, for fuck's sake. there's no purpose in aiming your insult at the obvious, my grandmother could do that shit. sad, sad, sad.
Still can't go with that many 'fuckings', though. I'd end up looking like Hannah - i.e. someone who's only just discovered the word and thinks it's a major leap forward into revolutionary anarchism from sticking her finger up to her teachers when their backs are turned.
oh and just for your information, i discovered the joys of the word fuck in grade two, and i never gave my teachers the finger behind their backs, i did it to their fucking faces. see, you need to either know your target or to divorce your insults from suppositions.
here's an example of a well crafted bit of hannerese.
quote: see what i mean?
give it up you little pissed-on twerp, you are obviously taking out your fucked up resentments on women in general. just get the fuck over it, she gave you a try and she dumped your sad little ass and took up with a woman. you were obviously such a fucking wonderful cocksman that you turned her to the sapphic side for fuck's sake. way to fucking go whoreson, way to fucking go. your skills aren't near as good as you thought, are they loverboy? you really are a right fuckup aren't you? you couldn't hide your fucking do-me top-from-the-bottom bullshit that you wrap in a cloak of false chivalry and protectiveness could you fuckwit?
get it through your overly muscled head, we're never going to stand on your pedestal for you because you don't fucking matter, you're just another fucking male sub and you slimy little fucks are a dime a gross around here. you're all just fucking ball-less cuntstruck little boys who can't get over learning that mummy fucked daddy and wouldn't fuck you.
fucking hell awareness was right! you bastard! i'm never going to fucking forgive you for pointing that out!
e2a: fixed formatting which is fucking up for some reason.
< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 8/23/2011 9:09:10 PM >
clique? i don't need no stinking clique!
fuck a duck ~w. disney
My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck
i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day