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Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 4:58:02 PM

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I don't want to be a pest anyone, but I'm just curious....Dommes and subs alike, and anyone else who chooses to answer...what are some "deal breakers" for you? Things that, even if everything else was right, would kill it for you. Some that come immediately to mind for me are dishonesty, thievery, horrible hygiene, and continually trying to manipulate me.

The reason I'm asking this is (1)I'm just curious and (2)I just released someone because he would not clean up his hygiene, even though I gave him detailed instructions. I know, I know, I should have known but, honestly, he wasn't stinky at first.

Anyway, what are some of your deal-breakers?

~Hisprettybaby~

RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:08:12 PM

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This is something of a layered question. Some things are dealbreakers right up front, ie if we are not a fetish match. (Ie, if you have to be a sissy maid, you are not for me), if they drink to excess, that sort of thing.

Dishonesty, aggression toward me or mine, and outright disobedience cover it, I think. Dishonesty can mean lying, hiding information, cheating, stealing...

Obedience is really important to me. If a sub says "no" in defiance, there has better be a damn good reason. Like an attacking rhinoceros.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:10:05 PM

lizi

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Dishonestly will do it for me.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:38:37 PM

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Deal breakers for Me are: Dishonesty, lack of communicaition, having constant issues keeping their word, smoking, and illegal drug usage.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:43:31 PM

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All of the above are really good ones...deal breakers I mean. Well, smoking isn't the total end of the world as long as it's none of that wacky stuff. lol

~Hisprettybaby~

< Message edited by Hisprettybaby -- 9/29/2011 5:44:39 PM >

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:53:22 PM

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Smoking for Me is a deal breaker because of My asthma. Even if the person steps outside to smoke, the smell of it on their clothes bothers My lungs a bit.

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"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:53:51 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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All of the above 'cept the smoking one

AND it being easy for me to bend him to my will. If I can easily get him to "let me off the hook" for lack of a better phrase, it ain't gonna work. I need a man who won't let me get away with stuff and yes I do test it to see how much I can get away with.

Zeph

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 5:59:12 PM

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Smoking is an issue for me too--and something that often puts someone out of the running before anything really gets going. Like drinking too much, or being a scruff.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:03:31 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Define scruff? <gives evasive eyes>

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:05:45 PM

searching4mysir

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For me it would a Master who constantly pushes hard limits and/or has active additions. Dishonesty is a huge one too. If I can't trust you to tell me the truth and not hide things from me, how can I trust you with my safety?

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:08:16 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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What do you mean by "active additions"?

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:08:53 PM

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A scruff is someone you can smell before you see them...dirty or ill fitting clothes, unkempt hair (that isn't a "look"), slouchy posture...the person you don't want sitting next to you on the bus.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:09:53 PM

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I think "addictions"...like a drunk or junky

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:13:40 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

I don't want to be a pest anyone, but I'm just curious....Dommes and subs alike, and anyone else who chooses to answer...what are some "deal breakers" for you? Things that, even if everything else was right, would kill it for you. Some that come immediately to mind for me are dishonesty, thievery, horrible hygiene, and continually trying to manipulate me.
~Hisprettybaby~

Well, it depends on the situation and degree, for instance, lets take dishonesty.. there are many forms of it.. from the little white lie to be nice, to him not being forthright about areas where you will clash even tho you are honest in your profile, to avoiding answering questions or not telling me something he should, to serious lies such as extreme misrepresentations, to cheating which is also a form of extreme dishonesty.. I do believe everyone lies about something, the question is, are those lies deal breakers or not..

Major deal breakers, not communicating, major differences in money mgmt, major dishonesty, cheating (no wiggle room there, hes history), drug and alcohol abuse (no wiggle room), very different life goals and also possibly, religious differences may be a deal breaker (I have never had that happen so cant say if a compromise would work or not). That is assuming we are already attracted to each other, we get along well and there is a lot of compatibility, especially in the important areas.

< Message edited by tj444 -- 9/29/2011 6:14:30 PM >

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:13:53 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

A scruff is someone you can smell before you see them...dirty or ill fitting clothes, unkempt hair (that isn't a "look"), slouchy posture...the person you don't want sitting next to you on the bus.

Oh okay, yeah add that to my list.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:17:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
lets take dishonesty.. there are many forms of it.. from the little white lie to be nice,

I'd much rather he was forthright and honest, even if it hurts a little. I would feel much better with honesty, rather than finding out later that he fibbed.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:23:26 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
lets take dishonesty.. there are many forms of it.. from the little white lie to be nice,

I'd much rather he was forthright and honest, even if it hurts a little. I would feel much better with honesty, rather than finding out later that he fibbed.

yes, of course, so would I and too, it depends on how well you know each other when these little (or big) lies occur and are discovered.. If we are very compatible, I am not that eager to throw the baby out with the bath water tho... If i was so hard nosed that each time I found out about a lie or misrepresentation,.. seriously, I would never even get as far as a coffee meeting again!

< Message edited by tj444 -- 9/29/2011 6:29:37 PM >

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:30:58 PM

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Someone that already has children and doesn't take care of them. I don't want any to begin with but if I fell madly in love with a parent, you better be taking care of them. Also animals. I won't relinquish mine for anything and if you aren't an animal lover, pass.

I like to attend things like shows, art gallery openings, events, and if those things are to "high brow" we won't click. I also like to go out a lot and socialize and so a homebody might not make it either. Sharp dresser and well spoken is a must as needed, at home jeans and stuff are fine but I need a man that can go to a wine bar and not be uncomfortable.

Poor grooming, ill spoken, ego issues, disrespectful to to others, and generally finding mean humor ok are not going to bode well.

Snobs, people that talk down to others, passive aggressiveness and followers, another pass.

Oh and....most Republicans and fanatical Christians. Pass.

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 6:40:24 PM

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We're a tough bunch, aren't we?

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RE: Deal Breakers Anyone? - 9/29/2011 7:08:48 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Being or having a dick.

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