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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 6:45:18 AM   
wolf223


Posts: 89
Joined: 3/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnotherAusChick

I'm overweight. I was kinky when slim, I'm kinky curvy.

I too have been raped - once when a size 2, once when a size 16. I remember when a frail 92 year old women was raped and beaten in my town. As previously stated, rape is about power and control. Rape is not about scoring with a hot chick. People have rape fantasies because fantasy is not real. Non consensual sex is completely different and your implication that fat chicks fantasise about rape because they aren't attractive enough to get laid is ignorant and disgraceful.

Intended or not, your post is offensive and your care factor is 0. Attitudes like yours encourage poor self esteem and self loathing. Grow up - you are responsible for your tastes and perceptions. Not the media. Go for gold only wanting slim women - there's nothing wrong with that. But projecting such negative bullshit without being open to the ideas of others is limiting your growth as a person.



This  rape is about hate,anger not sex. Porn,entertainment
industry ect. is about sales( sex sells ).
If you don't learn to look below the skin and beyond the
form you are always going to be disappointed.









9




(in reply to AnotherAusChick)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:04:28 AM   
fragilepieces


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Joined: 7/6/2008
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quote:

Again I say nothing wrong with bigger women. It's not my cup of tea.
I am so glad for that cause ya know--I'd probably wind up puking on you.  

< Message edited by fragilepieces -- 10/22/2011 7:05:25 AM >

(in reply to twistedom)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:16:39 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


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Joined: 6/27/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedom
No offense to anyone or those who like those type of women just notice from profile to profile that there seems to be a large percentage of bbws. Very seldom is there a woman considered slender, thin, average or whatever. No I dont think I'm gods gift to women or whatever. Just kinda wonder if there's something psychological there. A lot of women here have those force/rape fantasies. In everyday life in general a woman around 200 pounds isn't going to draw much attention from anyone who would actually force someone. is that part of it? Is it more of a fantasy to submit because its unlikely it would ever happen in real life. Look at streakers in sports across the world. If its fairly attractive woman there's cheers and such. If they were overweight I'm sure many would say oh my cover them up. Again not attacking but just rather curious why this and other sites seem to be widely populated by those types of women

Haven't even read the rest of the posts past the OP.  "No offense"???  Well, that just offended.  What exactly constitutes a "large percentage of bbws" to you?  Doesn't matter what a woman weighs, it's all in the preference of the one who's doing the looking.  I consider myself a BBW for the very fact that I am one.  Wow, what an pronouncement to make.  Here, of all places.

It has nothing to do with my psychological make-up.  Being submissive is who I am at the very core of my being. Were I more slender, or even more overweight, that would still have no bearing on who I am as a person.  I can look past a person's exterior to what's inside and makes them the person I want to be with. 

As for you not attacking?  Well ya did.  You just couched it in more polite terms.  If larger women aren't your preference, that's your choice to make.  But you don't need to satisfy your curiosity as to why some men and women would prefer BBWs.  It's all a matter of who can look past the exterior if they so please. 

I'm going to stop now.  Because this could turn into a real rant.  Wouldn't want that.  O no no no no no. 

Lemme guess? This has turned into another fat thread hasn't it? 


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(in reply to twistedom)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 10:33:01 AM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear
Lemme guess? This has turned into another fat thread hasn't it? 

Yeah, because the OP charged into this forum acting like an asshole with bigoted judgmentalism and opened his mouth before engaging his brain. It was all in his delivery in that initial post.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 11:17:38 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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The OP asked if there was anything to do, psychologically, with the ratio of large women to slender women due to the ease a slender woman would typically find in attracting males.  That perhaps because BDSM is more rooted in perversion that it attracts a greater number of large women to fulfill themselves sexually on and find it easier to have a partner they can have mutual devotion with. 

Aside from not displaying much knowledge on rape victims, he actually asked an interesting question when you think about it.  He didn't come off to me as a bigot or heavily judgmental.  The worst you could make a case for is "clueless" on the rape thing (which in a follow up post, he admits he knows he can be wrong on that matter).

If only people were as hasty with their body as they were with their words, hm? 

Sorry, that was a cruel joke. 


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(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:03:00 PM   
MissToYouRedux


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In all honesty I have to start watching my diet when I'm happily engaged with a submissive, because ALL my appetites become magnified.

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(in reply to twistedom)
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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:39:14 PM   
kitten54


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Twiste ... just to set the record straight, rapists do NOT select victims by their appearance. They look for victims who are both vulnerable and accessible and range in age from babies and small children to the elderly. Sexual attractiveness is NOT an issue, and rape is about domination and violence.

BTW, the average size of American women is size 14 .... not exactly thin so you may be SOL.


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:42:14 PM   
Sherrr


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It sure sounds like the OP is lodging a complaint about the women that are contacting him. Methinks the translation is something like, "No thin women on here want me, whyyyyyyyyyy??????"

(in reply to kitten54)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:42:41 PM   
BondageLongTerm


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Joined: 10/8/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitten54

Twiste ... just to set the record straight, rapists do NOT select victims by their appearance.


Some do. Some don't.

Many many serial killers, and serial-rapists, have a "type" they go for. Whether to repay a past victim who they look like, or just because they like cute-blondes, or some other reason.

Obviously rape isn't entirely sexual in nature, but by and large any blanket statement about sex, whether willing or not, is going to be wrong. People are just too varied.

S

(in reply to kitten54)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:57:23 PM   
kalikshama


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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

It sure sounds like the OP is lodging a complaint about the women that are contacting him. Methinks the translation is something like, "No thin women on here want me, whyyyyyyyyyy??????"


Yes, this is yet another tiresome variation on the threads we get weekly, "All the women here are whores/scammers/fakes/only into black guys so it's the site's fault I can't get laid," which explains the derision that greeted his post.


(in reply to Sherrr)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 12:58:19 PM   
Sherrr


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Nice cartoon :)

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 2:00:37 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
He didn't come off to me as a bigot or heavily judgmental.

Not bigoted or heavily judgmental? His OP is quoted below with bolding added by me to certain parts. He implies that BBWs have psychological problems for being kinky, as opposed to apparently mentally healthier thin kinky women. He ASSumes that BBWs don't draw any attention. He ASSumes that BBWs can only fantasize about being submissive because it would never happen in real life. He's ASSuming that a BBW streaker would be told to cover up because of her size.
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedom
No offense to anyone or those who like those type of women just notice from profile to profile that there seems to be a large percentage of bbws. Very seldom is there a woman considered slender, thin, average or whatever. No I dont think I'm gods gift to women or whatever. Just kinda wonder if there's something psychological there. A lot of women here have those force/rape fantasies. In everyday life in general a woman around 200 pounds isn't going to draw much attention from anyone who would actually force someone. is that part of it? Is it more of a fantasy to submit because its unlikely it would ever happen in real life. Look at streakers in sports across the world. If its fairly attractive woman there's cheers and such. If they were overweight I'm sure many would say oh my cover them up. Again not attacking but just rather curious why this and other sites seem to be widely populated by those types of women

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 6:51:34 PM   
aromanholiday


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Joined: 4/12/2011
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"Thin women are great to look at, granted. Some people's bodies are like looking at...art in motion. I cannot blame people for appreciating a work of art, whether in a waitress, stripper, or even some beach bunny. Long time ago before I had my son, my body was a work of art too and I was hassled night and day by horny, appreciative men. However...if you think for even one moment that women have a problem getting laid...think again. Even through years of celibacy all kinds of men tried to get into my size 3X pants. The husbands of friends, guys in bars, at laundromats, grocery stores, in libraries, while I was taking my kid to a park... This was in vanilla. From the Domme side, huge as I am I have never had any trouble getting subs...and sometimes we are taling about young hunky ones in their twenties and thirties, physically fit and art in motion. Even when I advertise that I am taken, own a sub and am not looking for a third person, the guys keep writing. One from this week lives only 20 minutes away and is hunky and in his low twenties. See...if I were into swinging I could have dick from at least a hundred different guys per year. I know this may be hard to grasp...fat chicks can have as much dick as they want...mkay?"

Mkay! :D

I envy your experience a little, CynthiaWVirginia. You're very right: excessive male attention happens to nearly every woman I know, no matter what her size, age, shape of her breasts, amount of facial hair, or other aspects of her appearance. Men are just that... sexually aggressive. But it didn't happen much to me. I don't think I was (or am) particularly bad looking but few men ever approached me. Perhaps the reason for this was that I was and still am deeply shy and gave off "stand back" vibes or maybe even "I am a freaky slave" vibes. (who knows?) But I do think an individual's personality, what they give off in the various ways they express themselves, even online, determines whether others approach them. I never intentionally want others to stand back. But something about me seems to keep most at bay. I don't mind that much anymore, now that I've overcome the shyness a bit. The general standoffishness of others has given me the option of approaching someone interesting and attractive first rather than getting obsessed with fending off those who are not compatible with me. Kids, at least, tend to like me--which suggests I am still partially human. ;-) In fact, an 11 year old boy grinned widely at me tonight. But that may have been because I looked rather dumb in the middle of the busy sidewalk taking photos.

I suppose I should add something to the general theme of the thread, but it's all been said. I agree most with the stance that people, in general, are getting larger so of course you're going to see them more frequently in bdsm venues, which are far more accepting of differences in body shape than the average vanilla club or pickup bar. (At the latter it's often all about the body; at the former it's also partially about your personality and how compatible that is with other types of personalities?) I have noticed, sadly, that bdsmers are getting pickier and snobbier, and narrowing their choices and contacts. This new (at least to me) age segregation trend is an example of this. The splinter groups I see on certain other websites that begin with the letter F but will remain largely unnamed are another example of this: "I am a master and I associate only with slaves and other masters." "I am an owner but not a master or a mistress so I associate with other owners and properties." Etc. Actually, it's not that bad yet. The groups are rather small and get boring so everybody goes to everybody else's groups to see what's happening, no matter what they identify as. And that includes the age groups, lol. And then there is Ye Olde Cyber Gossip Gate. If one of your "associates" posts in a group, you see it instantly and you're likely to go there too in order to see what all the fuss is about, even if the group is strictly for post-op Transylvanian butlers living with their partners in airships who have three breasts [the partners, not the airships!] But I do see trends toward splintering.)

I did notice that people in bdsm were larger long before the obesity epidemic was noticed, however. We even had a special group in my locale 18 or so years ago that was only for large sized kinky people. No skinnies allowed! My theory about this is that people into bdsm are on the vanguard in other areas of life. Meaning that if a social trend of any sort is starting to happen, someone who is open-minded enough to be kinky may very well be one of the first to absorb and exhibit the other new trend as well, even if it is an unhealthy one. I know, it's kind of a hair-brained idea, but when I want to know where people in our society are going, I tend to look at the kink population first, and see what they are doing. And I do get hints that way.

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(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:18:16 PM   
MistressLilliana


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I have already posted my thoughts on the comments OP made but I failed to answer the post question "Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle?". Women of ALL sizes, races, sexuality and so on are "drawn" to this lifestyle if the lifestyle appeals to them just as men of ALL sizes, races, sexuality and so on are as well. What I love about the lifestyle is the ability to express ones self, to indulge on their wants and needs without fear of being "put down" because of them, to be accepted for being and exploring yourself. I do not think that has changed, I just think that some people have lost sight of how "open" and "accepting" this lifestyle is supposed to be.

Society has determined what we should think is beautiful but it's up to the individual to determine what's beautiful to them.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:23:37 PM   
frezone


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To caveat the average size 14 comment....originall women sizes were actual inches. Did not sell effectively. So retailers had lie and come with sizes more agreeable to the female psych. Sales rose of course...given rise to advertising falsehoods we enjoy today. So it imperative to realize American asses have been huge for quite some time. Another fine historial moment.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:31:45 PM   
MistressLilliana


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You could also add to that as far as history goes, larger woman used to be looked up to because it usually meant they were well off financially. The richer you were the better food you could buy and more of it, to be large meant money. Of course not all rich women or men were large but still, its a part of history. Now a days a rich woman can be found by looking for fake body parts and stiff faces...not all again, but many...in search of that "perfect" body.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:42:24 PM   
Sherrr


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Um, are you suggesting that average women at some point had 14 inch waists?

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:42:33 PM   
Hisprettybaby


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A lot of overweight MEN have ALSO been "drawn to this lifestyle" I have noticed.

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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:43:36 PM   
Hisprettybaby


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

Um, are you suggesting that average women at some point had 14 inch waists?

If so, I'm sure that was only the ones who had their lower ribs removed in order to fit into their tightly-laced corsets in the name of vanity.

(in reply to Sherrr)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 10/22/2011 7:46:58 PM   
Sherrr


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Joined: 7/25/2011
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blughblughblughblughblughblughblughblugh!!!!!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sherrr

Um, are you suggesting that average women at some point had 14 inch waists?

If so, I'm sure that was only the ones who had their lower ribs removed in order to fit into their tightly-laced corsets in the name of vanity.

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
Profile   Post #: 160
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