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RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/3/2011 9:41:05 PM

DumbassSub

Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
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I do confess domiguy there was a time i had thoughts of retribution and had thoughts of contemplating what i would do. Such was the depth of my emotions and feeling of being deceived. Those feelings were dangerous because i felt to be justified and found myself with clear conscience. Whereas you perchance are being factious, i contemplated it as a reality. It did not progress that far nor in that venue. In hindsight i am glad and thankful it did not.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 21

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/3/2011 9:53:30 PM

DumbassSub

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Joined: 7/4/2010
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Interesting perspective HannahLynn and one i have given thought to. Her mantra is "Women over men" and to receive said treatment and in essence a 'fucking over' perchance you have hit the nail on the head. I do understand and actually accept the concept my needs and desires matter not, indeed as slave and submissive that is very much a part of my mindset but i do not accept shadowy deceit or misrepresentation. It is a double edged sword because to lose trust and respect is to lose power and control. In such situation the house of cards also tumvbles down.

Can't say as i wished for said situation. What i wished for was what was conveyed and agreed upon.

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Post #: 22

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/3/2011 10:07:03 PM

DumbassSub

Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
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Hmmm, perchance you are correct hisprettybaby. Whereas i was considering the physical aspects of OWK what i'm experiencing is the psychological aspect of OWK. At end of first visit, in conversation with Mistress i made mention of lack of OWK experience. We discussed only the physical aspects that were missing, but only because that was the aspects i mentioned. Mistress has been to OWK a number of times and so perhaps we are with differing perspectives. In my mind it has been total lacking because i do not see the physical aspects which is where my focus is. At same time perchance Her focus is on the psychological aspects and thus She is fulfilling exact what She promised and thus as You say"She gave what i wanted... or thought i wanted, until i got it" Wow... what a mindfuck that is! Yes She wants what She wants and GOT it and as you say, without giving a single shit what i anticipated, needed and wanted.

Thank you for your insight and response. I think what you convey is exactly what has transpired. The dots finally connect for me!

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Post #: 23

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/3/2011 10:11:20 PM

ummmmNo

Posts: 100
Joined: 11/21/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

OWK is Other World Kingdom, kind of a femdom/malesub fantasyland that was in business in Czechoslovakia for many years.

I saw that when I googled OWK, but I was sure that it was some fantasy board game or something.

Google, I will never lose my trust in you again!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 24

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/3/2011 10:21:55 PM

DumbassSub

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Joined: 7/4/2010
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Thank You LadyHibiscus. Your words are straightforward and without prejudice or judgment. That makes so i take them to heart and to see their truth. What You say i already realized but failed to acknowledge... not seeing the forest for the trees or perhaps being in denial or refusing to accept the obvious. Your words serve as a wakeup call, a kick in the ass so to speak. To be direct without being factious has so that i absorb Your words and contemplate their logic and truth. It's what i need. Thank You

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 25

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 1:22:06 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
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I can only reiterate what has already been said. You got what you asked for, what you asked for is not what you wanted. Pick up sticks and move on.

_____________________________

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Post #: 26

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 1:58:40 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Dude, walk away. This particular gig isn't for you

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Post #: 27

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 5:49:21 AM

DumbassSub

Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
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Miss Asylum Your comment and comment of others causes me much thought. Ironic but perchance i have received what i applied for. In not being as anticipated, true it is not what i want. In not being the physical aspect mixed with psychological aspect which was anticipated, perchance i am getting the just psychological OWK experience. One goes with the other, but it remains illogical to me in that She is with a fully equipped dungeon and with obvious capability. It would be easy for Her to combine the physical and the psychological aspects. It would especially be easy to do so during work. I had never considered outright deception and misrepresentation by a Mistress to be part of power exchange. I do not understand the purpose to lose trust, integrity and respect... unless it is a facade to begin with, never existed to begin with. This is something i have not encountered before and is totally illogical to me. In reading responses i begin to see it is totally dependent upon Her whims and thus if tired or not in mood then sessions do not occur or perhaps purposely planned in advance not to happen. It is a disappointing eye opening experience to realize my wants and needs are totally irrelevant... not irrelevant as part of session, or as fantasy... but irrelevant in reality. That runs counter to every Mistress and power exchange i've previously experienced.

Your advice and comments of others have created so i now have a clear path of direction and cleared away much confusion. I am with submissive heart and soul but also with a major stubborn streak and sometimes too righteous and too hung up on character values. I've resolved there shall be no one day work session. I strongly feel i've been fucked over and too naive and too stubborn to accept it. At this point i have resolved to walk away and to accept the situation is as it is. It is water under the bridge. My submission has not been sated and i feel very much used and taken advantage of. I remain to want the debt of promises to be paid and i remain to want my submissive craving sated. I want what was promised as it was portrayed in conversation. Right or wrong, naive, stupid, foolish or not i'm leaving door open. Have resolved to walk away from final session unless as happened once previously, session takes place in advance of working. Stupid and foolish decision to some, but it is one that best fists with my character, stubbornness and sense of justice. I remain to want what was bargained for and in accordance to what was discussed. I remain to expect integrity of word and character. I have been extremely naive and trusting. As such i've contributed to my circumstance. There are only two options... walk away, or to play with fire and create situation where promises and expectation and unpaid debt is fulfilled. To have the slate clear and balanced.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 28

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 6:27:29 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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This is what happens when people try the "insta-slave" formula. Inevitably, confusion and resentment ensues.

I hope you have learned a lesson from this, DAS. Try building an actual relationship with a dominant female, not a fetish delivery system. Once you have established MUTUAL caring and trust, move forward to a power exchange dynamic.

_____________________________

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Post #: 29

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 8:00:24 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Reality and fantasy do not always match one another. The whole OWK thing never appealed to me because the premise is/was that chicks rool men drool---but only when given permission! Hugh was all hot to go, but I didn't dig the idea of being TOLD how I was going to treat my slave, especially if that treatment was lousy. A friend brought her husband, and she actually saw sick men out in the snow naked, I didn't make that up, and when her husband got sick, it was like Yeah, menz, weak creatures. I didnt want to have to be in full fetish kit all the time, either. Just not my scene.

Right now, there are people in the world that are slaving in the third world and elsewhere, who are bought and used until their usefulness is done. There is no fancy "negotiation", no yes or no, no safer sex, just do what you're told or suffer. Or, do what you're told AND suffer.

There's no glamour in that, and when the role play tries to emulate that reality, the slave is getting the short end of things from his or her perspective, but THAT is slavery. Not having choices, not having your "needs" met, not having "promises" fulfilled. Who makes promises to a slave, in that environment? The slave in that scenario is owed nothing, and should be grateful for anything received.

This guy on the other side wrote me wanting my collar. I asked him WTF, did he have any idea how offensive he was being, objectifying me to the Owner/Mistress role, that I should just take on anyone who called himself a slave? Did he see his utter selfishness? Several Cmails later, I gave up, because he did not get it. I am a master, he is a slave, so poof! it should all work out, right?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 30

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 8:06:31 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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Cut your losses. Consider it a lesson learned, and really, not that expensive of one. You lost some time, a bit of sweat. A small cost to be shed of naivete.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 31

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 8:07:41 AM

DumbassSub

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Joined: 7/4/2010
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What You say Chatte Parfaitt is logical and true. Currently not in a relationship and from a small city i felt this was good opportunity. What was being requested of me was easily within my capability and to function as work slave and slave labour i do enjoy. It allows sense of being useful and productive that results in self pride and obvious happiness and satisfaction of another. Such projects are usually a full day, weekend or longer and not a short one or two hour session. As such it allows for different communication and dynamic and one i typically enjoy. If a actual session is incorporated then it is extra special.

In past professional sessions served as my mainstay. The past 10 years or more i have migrated away from such and enjoyed more personal lasting relationships and such currently remains what i seek. However until that happens i remain with interest and desire to fulfill my submissive cravings. Although Your advice is sage and wise, circumstance has so it is not my only path. I have never experienced misrepresentation and deceit from a Mistress before and such was not expected here.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 32

RE: Confusion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 8:11:39 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

DAS,

I think you need to look at your own responsibility in creating this situation. When your profile says:

quote:

With genuine need to be used complete, controlled, apply myself for benefit, amusement and pleasure of a divine, superior Lady in hope of achieving the wondrous inner freedom of slavery.

you are sending mixed messages by pouting when She doesn't service you as you think you should be serviced. Who is supposed to be doing the serving here?

Now, I think everyone should get their needs met, but don't advertise yourself as above and then have so many conditions.

I think this relationship is doomed - in the next one, negotiate more clearly ahead of time. And do be succinct - your OP was way too long.

Best,

KK

(in reply to DumbassSub)

Post #: 33

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:02:00 AM

DumbassSub

Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
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Other day, in having vented and making proposal to Mistress offering to arriveFriday night and to work on patio deck in hope of creating sufficient time frame for a Saturday session after tasks, i today received response.....

If you arrive at 6h00 Friday evening... It's not possible to work at the deck screws because of night.... but maybe I do a session Friday evening and early Saturday you start ramp, screw deck and repair wall of bathroom.

I've resolved to leave work early and arrive for 6:00pm. Friday afternoon going through Montreal and north on the Autoroute likely will add a extra hour travel time. I am surprised and happy Mistress gave my complaint/proposal/venting some consideration. To read i see She cleverly has not made promise. I assume that reflects if i am not arrived at 6:00pm then there shall be no session. I'm placing events in context to arrive at 6:00pm shall result in session. In doing so i have also resolved to arrive promptly and if no session then i shall leave and to close that door and not go back. To depart leaves sufficient time to travel to Trois-Rivieres to visit friends and return home following evening and thus not a wasted trip.

Shall be a happy camper if expectations are finally fulfilled. It will change my mood and demeaner much and for the positive. Do not know which venue session will take but to arrive early evening and no work planned perchance some of the OWK physical aspect will be incorporated. My hope and aspiration is simply to have original aspect and expectations fulfilled.... to lose the negativity of deceit.... to cancel out negative feeling of being used and to have a wronged situation made right.

(in reply to DumbassSub)

Post #: 34

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:10:25 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It seems that you are determined to follow your own path for good or ill. I wish you the best of luck with that! Please keep in mind though that being a "mistress" does not confer any special virtues on a person, any more than being a "slave" does. Liars are everywhere, and those that wish to be deceived will continue to listen to them.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 35

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:10:36 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what if her 'session' is as lackluster as the first?

will you stay and fulfill your agreement to work on the deck?

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 36

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:16:13 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

maybe i'm missing something here, but doesn't owk basically mean female supremacy? well guess what bucky, what you are getting is the fucking owk experience. that's what it means to be the slave of somebody who considers you inferior to them. you and your desires and needs don't really matter all that fucking much.catering to you defeats the whole fucking illusion and the house of cards will fall apart.

you know what they say bubbles, be fucking careful what you wish for - you just might get it.

This.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to HannahLynn)

Post #: 37

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:24:02 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I hope it works out for you, you sound like a sweetie.

BTW: Does the OWK thingie have to do with "mistress" using her strap on? B/c that could be why she is balking. For me, ass play of any kind is seriously intimate and not something I would be interested in doing with someone I recently met.

If you are going to continue with this situation, please give yourself a bottom line in your negotiations with her. Example: I will do no more handyman work until you do <fill in blank>. I think it is essential for you to negotiate your time with her carefully, because you are not her slave, that takes a relationship. You are her bottom, and you should get some quid pro quo.

JMO, YMMV

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 11/4/2011 9:26:04 AM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 38

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:43:49 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I hope it works out for you, you sound like a sweetie.

BTW: Does the OWK thingie have to do with "mistress" using her strap on? B/c that could be why she is balking. For me, ass play of any kind is seriously intimate and not something I would be interested in doing with someone I recently met.

If you are going to continue with this situation, please give yourself a bottom line in your negotiations with her. Example: I will do no more handyman work until you do <fill in blank>. I think it is essential for you to negotiate your time with her carefully, because you are not her slave, that takes a relationship. You are her bottom, and you should get some quid pro quo.

JMO, YMMV

It's Mistress using her biggest strap on without lube if that is what she wants. WHATEVER Mistress wants. Lots of toilet stuff, too. They used to have a website, full of such treats. It was malewanker disneyland but the women got the last laugh.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 39

RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/4/2011 9:53:16 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Well, you did respond to a "Profile Seeking Slave Labor" <--- LOL
and second with so much going on with Flooding in the Home and etc.. that's a hell of a lot of extra pull and demand on somebody outside of their day to day work and living routine.

Did you not take pride and have a sense of personal pride and satisfaction in all the work you done? Sure, you have your own set of fetishs that are not been feed with Intense work out sessions. Think about the reasons why though.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to DumbassSub)

Post #: 40

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