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RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 8:28:08 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		In reading your most recent post on this thread I am now quite convinced that your chosen name for these forums is quite fitting.

Good luck to you.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 8:37:47 AM   
DumbassSub


Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		LaTigresse, perchance You are correct with Your assessment but i fail to view it as such in that i am expecting a session or OWK incorporated into work weekend. That mutual expectation was conveyed with original correspondance and with followup conversation and correspondence. That is not happening... or rather only partially happening. I'm expecting a honouring of commitments. To me power exchange incorporates a trust and respect, even when limits are pushed or veering off on a tangent. A request was publicly put forward by Mistress requesting/offering services and conveying parameters of such. I responded to said request expressing willingness and interest to comply to those parameters. There has been a leading on which conveys there is awareness and agreement, but ultimately at days end... a denial. Only in rebelling and refusal and conflict did the one full session transpire.

In reading similar comments i can accept the premise i am being treated as a slave and that it is not as i had envisioned. Regardless that does not take away that what has been mutually agreed upon and discussed has not transpired. It does not take away that promised sessions have not transpired. I do not believe i am expecting to be treated as a client... unless as client refer that i have bartered for services and expect agreed upon goods to be delivered.

My mind is made up and has been made up... a want and expectation in accordance promises and words professed. Want and expectation for Mistress to cut with misleading promises and to fulfill Her word. OWK and sessions can easily incorporate slavery and power exchange without misrepresentations, lies and deceit.     

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 8:55:35 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Do you understand that your expectations DO NOT CONTROL HER? If this lady is a liar, no amout of hoping from you will make it otherwise.

Enjoy your stubbornness, you are the only one being hurt.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 10:47:10 AM   
DumbassSub


Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		Lady Hibiscus i do understand and i do not understand that my expectations do not control Her.

I understand because what You say is logical and true. I readily accept that premise and in past have never had issue with such.

What i do not understand and have difficulty accepting is the outright lies and deceit. That i have been unable to accept and it had me with much frustration and inner turmoil. It is something unexpected and something i've not previously experienced with a Mistress. To me it has always been and it remains that trust and integrity is a very important foundation stone of power exchange. It absolute must exist.... or at least for myself it must exist. If what happened was power exchange it did not feel as such. It felt as i was being purposely lied to and conned.

As i discovered it is as You say... no amount of hope will change the fact She is a liar. With my stubbornness  and actions She only slightly fulfilled alluded expectations. Thus as You say, with my stubbornness i am the only one being hurt.

Very pointed words, but with insight and accurate perception.

It has been a frustrating experience but also a learning experience.



(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 10:47:56 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's only a learning experience if you ACTUALLY LEARN.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 11:37:10 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

What i do not understand and have difficulty accepting is the outright lies and deceit.


What I don't understand is why you keep going back.

And what about my idea of renegotiating so that when she's "not in the mood" she pays you for your work at a discounted rate?

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 11:40:25 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I call bull shit on this post it's a figment of his imagination. No One is that stupid.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 11:45:17 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I agree. 

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 12:09:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I call bull shit on this post it's a figment of his imagination. No One is that stupid.

BadOne


Dude. Yeah they are.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 12:48:21 PM   
DumbassSub


Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		Kalikshama to go back seemed logical second time as promise was not fulfilled first time or only partially so. When Mistress conveyed a extend session next work weekend, at that point in time i felt no reason to doubt Her word. When the promised extended session did not occur second work weekend i found myself with a two hour drive home feeling disappointment and frustration that grew continually stronger as dwelled upon it. I next found myself thinking of $60 gas expense each trip, thinking of purchases at hardware store(saw blades, specialty bit, hardware, etc.) thinking of personal time invested... thinking mostly self centered thoughts admittedly. It caused so i rebelled and reacted. A series of emails brought about from Mistress a promise of session in advance on third visit. The session did occur and in advance of work exactly as promised and session admittedly was a excellent session. Fourth visit was without session. Up to this point circumstance had so return visits seemed logical to me. It was after fourth visit where i required to vent and not sure what to do. In feeling conned a part of me wanted session... i felt i did my part and kept my word and had difficulty accepting She as Mistress was not equally with integrity. My emotions and stubbornness had the best of me and thoughts to walk away had me feeling more conned.  We had a agreement and i wanted the agreement honoured. I was not easily digesting the reality of a Mistress lacking integrity and purposely deceiving. After fourth visit i was in a quandry and not sure what to do. Advice on collarme basically said to cut my losses and walk away. A part of me agreed and a part of me remained stubborn and wanting the agreement to be kept. In the end i resolved if work session to be one day i would not go. If it be two days i would follow it through. Other factors came into play such as feeling  useful and in assisting and knowing me efforts were appreciated and making a difference. I was aware of Her frustration with contractors, progress and finances. I wanted to help but nut to be deceived or to feel conned. To function as work slave partially sated my submissive cravings and was with a power exchange aspect. I was with a internal battle of stubborn character traits and submission.

Payment aspect You mention would have served as a bargaining chip and in my having some awareness as to some financial aspect of Mistress i believe yes a session would be forthcoming before a payment would be made. Perchance it would have prompted Her to keep Her word but such concept i had not contemplated until your comment previously. As of my original posting there would be only one remaining work visit. I became determined it would include promised session or to not make the trip. The venue i chose was to see if Friday evening would be accepted. I believed if it was then there be sufficient time for both and session would occur. Perchance i could have put forth the monetary aspect but i did not. If it was to be a ongoing venture then something to that effect or assurance of session previous to work would be required to be ironed out.



(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 1:04:02 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I think it's best for the two of you that you don't go anymore. It's become too sticky.

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:23:45 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Dude at this point you are totally leading with your dick.

Whatever the bint does to you (or doesn't) you deserve. You really ARE being a dumbass.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:26:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm guessing you like humiliation



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:27:50 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm guessing you like humiliation



You guessed wrong.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:29:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		oh sorry, not you LaTigresse. I meant the op lol. He seems to to like humiliation since he goes back time and time again.

That's what I get for using the quick response.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:34:13 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I knew that. Was just having fun giving you shit.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 2:57:22 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		People need to own the situations they get themselves into. Put kink aside right now, it's obvious that the kink aspect is  is messing with your brain.

-You have two basic options...stay or go. If your needs aren't being met you go. If you like things you stay.
-You can't assume someone will change and morph into something that suits you better. This age-old game of hoping someone will change has never worked out well. This woman has shown you multiple times how she does things and how she regards your place in her life- understand that things are right in front of you in black and white. Pay attention to her because she's not hiding a thing.
-You repeatedly refuse to take leadership of yourself and watch out for yourself which in the end is YOUR responsibility. No matter how a relationship is structured, the two people involved need to figure out what they want/need and then set out to get it or travel on down the road to find someone else more compatible.

You keep choosing to suck things up in the end and go back for more. If this satisfies your kink needs then at least call it what it is and own your part in it. Stop struggling with the conflict you seem to be having and accept this is what you need and want. If it's not what you want, then end the interaction. Your wish that she'll come around to your way of thinking is just an exercise in frustration- you should know by now that humans don't change because others wish them to. She's definitely getting what she wants out of this arrangement, how about you? You don't need to beat this to death, are your needs being met or not? It really is that simple.

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 3:07:28 PM   
DumbassSub


Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		True it is a mixed situation and one not likely to improve. Work tasks are complete and thus there is no reason for returning. Whereas i was for a time wanting/demanding fulfillment of promised sessions, ironically i now presumably am with one in the bank, but i have no interest nor desire to claim it. I am not sure if She is sincere and it actually exists or just more empty words. It matters not as i am with no desire for it. The used, deceit feeling is gone. To have rebelled, vented had heart to heart talk with Mistress, the building of frustrations is gone. To do final tasks as friend and not as slave... to do with no expectation was good feeling. I did not feel conned, frustrated, used, deceived on Saturday. I just felt as doing a good deed for someone and i feel good that regardless of the BS and frustrations i managed to maintain my own integrity. I am also glad there are no hard feelings nor resentment. Mistress and i developed a friendship of sorts and that friendship remains. That is best as we make better acquaintances and friends than we do Mistress & slave. I am with a closure and it is what i needed. I shall remain to seek future opportunity to fulfill my submissive cravings and also as work slave but shall not be so naive and trusting. I would not have walked away after first misrepresentation and indeed i did not. In event similar situation arises in future i am with a life experience and lesson that has been learned.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 3:13:06 PM   
DumbassSub


Posts: 89
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		Littlewonder, in truth yes i do enjoy humiliation. I find it can be a strong form of power exchange. I however do not feel the humiliation aspect had anything to do with my returning, unless it is something subliminal. 

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Confussion/Resentment - 11/7/2011 3:22:55 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		I'm convinced now this is nothing more than a over-amped wank thread.

I retract everything I said...and instead.... Do not feed the troll.

(in reply to DumbassSub)
Profile   Post #: 80
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