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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:19:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

I also suffer from migraines and people handle them differently and how intense they are differs also.

I get migraines. Some are so bad I spend several days throwing up and wanting to die. Others are less intense and I can kind-of function through them, but they're hell. The first kind I lose my vision, pretty much. The second kind I get tunnel vision in one eye, which is very distressing. Even a 'less intense' migraine is worse than an ordinary headache, in my experience.

quote:

She is coming back again this weekend. We will discuss this issue in more detail and come to an understanding.

The understanding being that you will treat her with compassion instead of disdain, I would hope. Or you may find yourself looking again for your third...

quote:

A sadist friend of ours views this totally differently.

Your sadist friend sounds like a cunt.

quote:

Thanks for the responses that actually addressed my question. The others I find quite humorous, thanks for the laugh.

I didn't see any funny responses. If you did, then it really reveals a lot about your character. And none of it is good.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:20:12 AM

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quote:

I also suffer from migraines and people handle them differently and how intense they are differs also.

I got ocular migraines last fall:

http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/ocular-migraine.htm

Ocular migraines are painless, temporary visual disturbances that can affect one or both eyes. Though they can be frightening, ocular migraines typically are harmless and self-resolve without medication within 20 to 30 minutes.

I couldn't do much because I couldn't see, but the pain was mild, unlike classic migraines. Oh - my employer put me in a dark room until it passed. I wasn't terribly light sensitive, unlike for a classic migraine, but I appreciated his concern.

What type of migraine do you have and what type does she have? And which half of the couple are you?

(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:23:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

FR:
Yo, OP, I have literally been the only one holding out here on pronouncing you as being deficient in your role as Dominant because I wanted more information from you, but I'm fading fast. I see you up there, how about coming down to explain some of this?

1. Did you ever discuss beforehand with this woman what type of home care would be appropriate when she was overtaken by her medical condition?
2. Did you find out at any time what type of medical attention she may need as a result of her condition and when to procure that for her as she may be unable to?
3. Did you ever let her know that when she was ill that her regular duties would be suspended until such a time that she was able to take them up again, and that it wouldn't be held against her if that happened?
4. Did you all discuss symptoms, the path of her illness, anything of that nature so you'd know what was happening and to what degree?
5. Do you understand that if you had any person or animal in your care that is denied medical attention or kept inhumanely, it puts you at risk of breaking laws and at the very least basic human ethics?

Pain is subjective, but a very real symptom and something that is weighed heavily by the medical profession as being an immediate situation in need of care.

So come on, what's up here? Either speak for yourselves or let everyone come to their own conclusions. To be honest...it's not looking good for your side at this point without anything further from you.

Bravo! Excellent points and post, my dear!

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:25:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Interesting that your response includes barely any explanation and a comment that some entries here made you laugh. I saw a lot of concern on this thread, why would that be cause for laughter? Why would the direction that many took, which was to be concerned for the woman and her environment, make you laugh and why do you think that will reflect in an attractive manner on you?

What was your friends take on things btw and why is it relevant that he's a sadist? What does sexual orientation have to do with a medical matter?

You really aren't taking the douche factor out of things here by your most recent post. I guess if that doesn't matter to you then carry on...

...as she lets go with both barrels...

Well done, my dear.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:28:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Lizi...what I mean is....I appreciate comments like yours that offer advice and suggestions. Others that are just calling names and labeling us are the ones I laugh at. I understand that the pain she is having is nothing to laugh at and did not mean to come across that way. She has so much to offer and we are honored that she wants to be ours. I appreciate all the advice that has been given and am going to look more into the matter and talk with her and see what we all can do to handle the situation and help understand more what she needs when these occur.

But you see, that isn't how you came across... which makes me wonder how well do you communicate overall?

I wish you all well.

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(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:38:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

Lizi...what I mean is....I appreciate comments like yours that offer advice and suggestions. Others that are just calling names and labeling us are the ones I laugh at. I understand that the pain she is having is nothing to laugh at and did not mean to come across that way. She has so much to offer and we are honored that she wants to be ours. I appreciate all the advice that has been given and am going to look more into the matter and talk with her and see what we all can do to handle the situation and help understand more what she needs when these occur.

But you see, that isn't how you came across... which makes me wonder how well do you communicate overall?

I wish you all well.

I was thinking the same thing. Almost complete lack of communication skills. Which again makes me wonder what kind of dominants they can possibly be. If they can't communicate in writing a question clearly, how clearly can they actually give instructions on tasks? Leaving out much information here just makes us think they are asshats, but for someone under their care, it leads to things not being done the way they want and confusion on the part of their sub/slave.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:42:48 AM

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Lack of communication has always been a huge red flag for me with anyone who is around me. If I'm working for someone and they don't tell me how to do my job correctly it will lead to eventually me either being fired or me quitting. If I have friends who don't and they ask me for advice it's going to lead to bad advice which will lead to our friendships being altered and not in a good way. If my Master or I cannot communicate clearly how can he expect me to do what needs to be done in the proper manner? This will eventually dissolve our relationship.

Imo this is probably the numero uno problem in many if not most bdsm relationships. At least that's how it seems to be coming across especially to me within the last few months on here from postings from people...both doms and subs.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:45:06 AM

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I have serious trouble believing you are concerned one bit about this slave.

You've had migraines, and like LL has pointed out, you know they affect others differently, and yet, you are annoyed by her wincing.

Right. Ok.

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(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:45:54 AM

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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

I have serious trouble believing you are concerned one bit about this slave.

You've had migraines, and like LL has pointed out, you know they affect others differently, and yet, you are annoyed by her wincing.

Right. Ok.

Seems there is a good reason they can't find a third who wants to stick around, huh?

(in reply to MissAsylum)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:48:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Lack of communication has always been a huge red flag for me with anyone who is around me.

<snip>

Imo this is probably the numero uno problem in many if not most bdsm relationships. At least that's how it seems to be coming across especially to me within the last few months on here from postings from people...both doms and subs.

I agree. Communication is a problem for people, period, regardless of their relationship style. People have a tendency to hear what they want to hear, to take things and twist them around to satisfy their own insecurities or prove their own points. Sometimes, no matter how good of a communicator you may be, it does no good if the person on the other side isn't also a good listener.

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(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:48:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

I also suffer from migraines and people handle them differently and how intense they are differs also. She is coming back again this weekend. We will discuss this issue in more detail and come to an understanding. A sadist friend of ours views this totally differently. Thanks for the responses that actually addressed my question. The others I find quite humorous, thanks for the laugh.

no ... thank YOU for the laugh.

I dont see what the problem is here. Here's what you should do. Show her what some real pain is. Rip her fingernails off.

that should quiet the little cunt down when shes doing her chores next time.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 11/28/2011 10:50:25 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:50:10 AM

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quote:

A sadist friend of ours views this totally differently.

M is a sick fuck of a sadist but is very solicitous of my health and well being.

(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:53:27 AM

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quote:

A sadist friend of ours views this totally differently

My sadist friends believe in inflicting pain. That is their kink. This isnt that type of pain. This isnt a sadistic situation, its an abusive one.

I recommend that when she has these migraines, you order her to stop and take care of herself.

Her job is to take care of you.

Your job is to take care of her so she can take care of you.

If you need that explained more, please let me know. And, no, thats not sarcasm, many dont seem to understand that ideology.

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(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 10:54:14 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Imo this is probably the numero uno problem in many if not most bdsm relationships.

I would say a lack of communication is probably the #1 killer of most relationships, BDSM or vanilla. They say that money is the #1 reason for divorce, but I really think it is about how couples communicate about their finances both before and after marriage that causes that.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 11:00:27 AM

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quote:

I also suffer from migraines and people handle them differently and how intense they are differs also.

Please understand, my earlier comments were not meant to take part in the gang like mentality of many posters on this site, based on your original posting it indeed suggested both of you cloaked yourself in a shroud of callous uncaring insensitivity and I am pleased to read my original perception was in error. In addition, I am very respectful and protective of my secretary so when the mention of migraines surfaced I identified with her suffering and perhaps typed far to soon. Good luck with your potential addition to your family.

(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 11:09:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

She suffers from debilitating migraines... Does anyone have any suggestions...

I do not personally suffer from Migrains, but have some experience with this. Migraines can develop for any number of reasons, from stress, to tension, to dietary triggers, to hormonal changes. Thus, try the following:

1) Educate yourselves on Migraines --> READ MORE HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE

2) Learn stretching/massage techniques for relief --> SOME INFO HERE and HERE

3) Cold Packs for --> HEAD/NECK/FOREHEAD and EYES

4) Relaxation/Treatment -->  When a Migraine strikes, or the symptoms begin, STOP EVERYTHING and relax/treat it -- and DON'T resume work/activity till the pain subsides. You can't "tough out" a Migraine... attempting to do so will likely only make it WORSE!!!

5) Medication -->  Over-the-counter meds (e.g., Advil, Aleve, Excedrin Migraine, etc.) can certainly help, but the danger in taking non-steroidal anti-inflamatory drugs like Advil/Aleve long term is they can really screw up your stomach -- so much so, that you can't take them anymore. There are, of course, prescription meds for Migraines, which they can be very expensive.

*Note: I know someone that took prescription Migraine meds for YEARS, and really... they did help, but didn't eliminate the Migraines.  WHAT DID WORK LONG TERM?!! Believe it or not... ANTI-SEIZURE MEDS -- specifically, Keppra or Topamax. After years and years of suffering with debilitating Migraine Headaches... POOF... GONE as soon as these meds were used.

quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

...she is winching and sighing as she does her work and this really annoys us

As to the above comment? I can't think of anything more SELFISH and RETARDED.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 11/28/2011 11:23:10 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 11:14:29 AM

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Just coming into the situation and not wanting to over echo the sentiments already expressed, I'm going to add the following;

No matter how seasoned or inexperienced a slave, one should never forget, that we are ALL human.
Personally, I am an avid lover of pain (self inflicted & inflicting) however a migraine can and has crippled Me.
A migraine produces a level of pain that is so distracting sometimes it becomes veritably impossible to function. If You're slave is trying hard to work through this debilitating ache, cheers to her.
A little compassion doesn't make You any less Dominant and being Dominant doesn't mean You have to divorce Yourself from Your own human element.

< Message edited by MadamDouceVoix -- 11/28/2011 11:28:45 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 11:18:46 AM

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I have a friend who suffers from debilitating and frequently occurring migraines. She's takes topamax and even that doesn't take them away for her...it just makes them manageable.

I suffer from migraines from time to time, maybe one every couple of months or once a month to the point all I can do is lie in a cool, dark, quiet room with an ice pack and try not to vomit as the room spins.

They're absolutely awful. I feel for anyone that gets them frequently.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 12:19:23 PM

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quote:

I got ocular migraines last fall:

How is an ocular migraine different than a migraine aura? Is the main difference that an aura signals an oncoming migraine, and the ocular migraine is just a short lived visual disturbance?

I've had both kinds. Plus migraine without aura.

January

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 12:37:26 PM

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An ocular migraine is just a short lived visual disturbance. Mine was exactly like the video in the link.

I haven't had classic migraines.

(in reply to January)

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