RE: Stuff about stuff

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Stuff about stuff

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Stuff about stuff

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/8/2011 11:34:43 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

SO ANYWAY back to "stuff."

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to AneNoz)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/8/2011 11:47:54 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

She names herself a slave, I do not recognize her as such. He names her a slave, I do not recognize her as such. Their naming is of no consequence to my view. My view is of no consequence to their naming. I have failed to discern what is the issue of contention.

Actually, you are incorrect. My potential is slave. I have yet to reach that potential with the man. Why you or anyone else would believe that status is immediately placed upon the start of a relationship is beyond me.

He sees the potential. I know the potential.

What you also neglect, in your rush to judgement, is that while I am his "whatever" I am, what I have is his to do with as he pleases. For me, this is a huge step in trust.

This goes back to your presumptive attitude of what is the "proper" way to do things. If you count all the M/s relationships, you will have counted the different ways of having an M/s relationship.

Keeping shoving everyone into the same box. It merely points out your insecurities.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AneNoz)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 12:15:50 AM

AneNoz

Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Actually, you are incorrect. My potential is slave. I have yet to reach that potential with the man.

Then I apologize, I have misunderstood your words. When you said that upon departing you would no longer be his slave, I had made an assumption that you so identified.

Yet still I am confused as to why it is that you are concerned at my view that what you had described as a slave was not such. How is it that my view is of such consequence to you? This especially I would know as you question my reality.

Is it that you but love the debate so that you will debate any point without concern for the importance of said point?

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 12:21:53 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I hate misunderstandings of any kind. Such as the one about your daughter.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AneNoz)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 12:31:13 AM

AneNoz

Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline

That is not an answer.

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 12:34:04 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Doesn't that phrase sound familiar...

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to AneNoz)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 12:35:58 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Far too familiar.

Demanding answers?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3952985/mpage_13/tm.htm

Thats the only answer I will supply.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 1:46:12 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Most M/s people are role-playing.

If you're in an M/s dynamic and you're the slave, you have no rights, no property, no nothing, except what our society insists you have.

If this is not acceptable to any slave, then this is a tacit admission she's playing a part, not living a lifestyle.

Questions like this are dead-easy to answer, if you're prepared to cut away the bullshit. Slaves will answer that everything belongs to their master. Role-players will come up with some other bullshit and try to rationalise it.

If you're a sub, then this question is not about you, so why the fuck are you putting your two cents in? The inability of some subs to pay attention is a huge red flag which makes them manifestly unsuitable for a decent Dom.

Just curious, but have you ever been in any kind of functioning personal relationship with another (consenting*) adult human being? Family doesn't count....
*I don't accept that the only true M/s is that of sociopath/kidnap victim! Fifty-50 that you disagree. <shrugs>

Personally, I've yet to meet anyone who fits in the neatly defined boxes you habitually advocate.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Awareness)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 2:08:00 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

Look, it's quite simple Focus. Slave means slave. That means you have no rights. If a chick wants to pretend to be a slave, I personally do not give a flying fuck, but I'm not going to fall in like some brainwashed fucktard who thinks slave is some relativistic definition which is unique to each couple.

I've seen far too many people claim slavery and then try and assert their fucking rights. Fact is, being a slave is not a casual commitment like putting on a new set of fucking clothes. Being a slave means you've given up all your self-determination because you utterly and completely believe in your master's right, willingness and competence.

If you want to pissfart around with bullshit definitions like some kind of milquetoast fairy, then be my fucking guest. I'll be over here calling a spade a fucking spade while you spend your time turning into a metrosexual pussy.

< Message edited by Awareness -- 12/9/2011 2:09:18 AM >

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 2:20:52 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

So that's a "No!"?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Awareness)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 2:42:21 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

kerbingo

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 5:08:12 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

I agree with Awareness on the point of self-determination. And something like that isn't a casual commitment - it's something someone accepts, again, after careful consideration. These are still, at the core, consensual relationships, though. I don't agree that every single one looks and works the same, which is what it always seems that people are trying to get at. If that makes me a brainwashed milquetoast, "meh."
In ancient Rome, some people built tombs for their slaves, considered them part of their family, and let them come & go, while others treated them horribly and exercised their right to kill them. Which one is more real? If a Master chooses to give a slave rights, or doesn't care to take them away, or gives them and takes by whim, is he less real? By whose standard?

Historical slaves rebelled, attacked or killed their owners, and made attempts to escape. Comparing a consensual relationship to that seems asinine. To me, the M defines the relationship, but it's consensual - s-types are free to find someone they can take the plunge with.

I identify the way I do here because that's what I'm seeking. Not everyone is interested in establishing and maitaining the O/p mindset. But the nebulousness of the titles has led me to want to chuck them all annd start from blank. Anyone could be talking about anything, and a man maintained that mindset with me before, even though he called me a sub. :p so how much do the words really matter? :p not much.
One guy can say "I like bratty girls" and find one he likes, have a fulfilling relationship for the both of them, etc, but who am I to say "she's nnot a real /s" just because I don't like her type of behavior? The only opinion that matters, her D's opinion, says "she's exactly what I want."

(ETA: I'm nnot saying that you can't have opinions on it - obviously you can. Some thinngs look like M/s "to me," and others don't I'm not a fan of brattiness. But having an opinion is different from expecting YOUR opinion to apply to everyone. That's... self-aggrandizing. :p by all means, define "slave" in your universe, but keep in minnd that that's the only place it definitely applies.)

I don't believe we owe anything to "words." They're something we invented, something we continually redefine, replace, invennt, and dissolve into obsolesence. They don't create reality, we do, and we use them to explain our realities to others. They only go so far, though, because they are NOT concrete. They are not universal. They aren't ultimate self-defining goalposts, they're tools for uss, not the other way around.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 12/9/2011 6:05:56 AM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to crazyml)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 11:57:23 AM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Excellent post, Lilly--all very good points. :)

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 9:04:10 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

No it's not difficult to perceive that that could happen. Relationships go down in flames all the time. And in a situation where one person has nothiing, it's really a good idea to have SOME idea for the future, in the event of death or break up.
It's not necessarily about the M possibly being bad, but that life takes twists annd turns when you never planned on it. So I can understand what you're saying. But I think people can still be optimistic about it, and give it their best shot.

Of course, people should be optimistic when embarking on a new relationship. But as you say (and very well know), sometimes things go horribly unexpectedly wrong. That's why I think people should be optimistic but still realistic. I can only imagine your devastation when your relationship ended so tragically. Now imagine if you were living in HIS house, and all the contents were HIS, including all the bank accounts and you weren't even named as a beneficiary on his life insurance. Not only would you be grieving a horrible loss, but also worried about your own future. Never a good place to be.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 9:14:58 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AneNoz

I will not ask him as his thinking on this or any other thing is of no consequence to my life or myself. The only opinion of weight for tazzygirl should be his, to allow my views to alter her life against his wishes would be a grave error.

She names herself a slave, I do not recognize her as such. He names her a slave, I do not recognize her as such. Their naming is of no consequence to my view. My view is of no consequence to their naming. I have failed to discern what is the issue of contention.

Be at peace
Aneka.

L-opinjoni tiegħek huwa ta 'ebda rilevanza għal ħadd. Huwa biss kwistjonijiet kif kull persuna fl-relazzjoni jiddefinixxi dan. inti tkun għaqli li jitgħallmu li.

(in reply to AneNoz)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 9:18:09 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

~holds that upside down~

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 9:28:51 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

LOL. Try looking at it sideways, in a mirror, while standing on your head. Then look in a book about the Illuminati in ancient Aramaic while reciting the Pledge of Allegience and trying to fix your Christmas lights, looking for that one little bugger who is making the whole set keep from lighting.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 9:33:50 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I was good until the string of lights. It aint worth that.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/9/2011 10:18:44 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Yea, well with all "who wishes who what holiday" bullshit going around, I couldn't resist adding it.

Kidding aside though, don't you just hate when the lights do that?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: Stuff about stuff - 12/10/2011 4:46:32 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Thanks RaspberryLemon :)

LL- because of who he was, his integrity and convictions, if our relationship had progressed to where either of us cared about the stuff, or were living together, he'd have made provisions for that. It was just the type of person he was. But he just didn't feel the need to say "all the stuff is mine" to exert control over me and how I used it. He gave me stuff, I gave him stuff, it just never really factored in in any significant way.

Now that I'm moving on, it's a point of character that I've always looked for really. People who take care of each other. Yeah, now I have first-hand experience with a drastic "wrong turn" and maybe I've learned some things that'll help in the future, but has it dramatically altered what I look for in men? No. I've always been attracted to men with integrity, who I can have faith in, and who show, through their expressed thoughts and actions,, that it's safe to take my guard down with them. Putting faith in them for my "self-determination," which Awareness mentioned.

I dunno, you can usually tell. I don't feel like that with everyone I meet. Maybe there is something to that INFJ stuff; I go a lot by feel, and let his actions either verify or discount that. I can't really explain it, and it probably sounds loopy and I imagine someone will say "in 20 years, you'll think differently," but that's just how it works for me.
I've usually been good at "telling;" I feel different things from people, like prickliness or "shadows" from people who have negative intentions. I don't trust people easily, though, even if I don't feel something negative. But on the flip side, I accepted a ride from a guy in a very big, totally new city, because he felt "light" to me. No shadows.

Those feelings haven't generally been wrong.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 12/10/2011 4:55:03 AM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 80