Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mistress usually go?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mistress usually go?

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Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mistre... - 12/21/2011 11:56:48 AM

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Joined: 12/4/2011
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Ok so ive been on here for only a few weeks. Seems like there are a lot of fakes.. I want to know how a normal mistress messages if I were to send a message to them.. The ones I have encountered are very short, mean, and dodge some questions. The feeling I'm getting is that they're fake or guys posing as female doms trying to dirty type Or get pictures.
A few examples I've come across:
Askin for naked picture after first message then sending questionnaire then sayin thanks anyhow..
AlsO responding but very short.. When I send messages they are like a normal conversation cuz I'm just a normal guy who happens to seek dominant women. Some conversations I've had just dont seem like normal conversations I'd have in the real world. They don't ask questions back or seem normal..
Please help me alOng with this seeing I'm new to this world. Take a look at my profile and just let me know if I'm doing something wrong here.
Also what are some signs that a mistress may be fake

Thanks steve

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:00:16 PM

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If you're asking how to tell if someone's real AFTER you send them a message, it means that you couldn't tell from the profile itself.

The profile should say what kind of man they want, and sound like it's written in decent English. There are plenty more flags for female subs, but I don't know the ones for Dommes because I don't search for them.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:05:42 PM

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How about we explore in another direction? Rather than trying to figure out who is fake... why not figure out who is real with you, by having conversations you find comfortable and enjoyable? That does seem to be what you are trying to do... but the fake focus may be a tad bit off. Someone that doesn't communicate in a manner that you find beneficial doesn't prove to be a fake. They may just be a different type of communicator.

It can take time to find people you communicate well with, share things in common with and will want friendship or more with. Then again, you can find it right off. Everyone is different. You seem to have a good handle on what a good direction is for you... just keep going in that direction. You are intelligent and may just be frustrated. Shuck off that frustration... it will be what it will be and move on to those more receptive and more like you.

We all face the same issues, but there are some great people around here. Settle in and find things you do enjoy in the process. Good luck out there!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:07:49 PM

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Ya well it's very easy to fake a profile.. Get some pics from Facebook of an attractive woman and write up a profile that looks "nor
Al". I'm asking how a normal conversation with a mistress goes. That's why I posted in the ask a mistress category, I'm looking for a mistresses advice. Not to be told I dont know how to decifer ones profile. Don't mean to offend you but that's why I posted in this part of the forum

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:11:23 PM

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Thanks you lockit for the nice response. The difference in communication may definitely be a possibility. It just seems there might be a pattern I've noticed in the messages and just seems a bit "odd" to me. Ive had and held multiple normal relationships with good lookin woman so far in my life and this is my first venture into this bdsm world so not
Really sure what to expect.

Regards steve

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:14:50 PM

searching4mysir

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Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carralo1

Ya well it's very easy to fake a profile.. Get some pics from Facebook of an attractive woman and write up a profile that looks "nor
Al". I'm asking how a normal conversation with a mistress goes. That's why I posted in the ask a mistress category, I'm looking for a mistresses advice. Not to be told I dont know how to decifer ones profile. Don't mean to offend you but that's why I posted in this part of the forum

I'm an owned slave (and no longer seeking), not a mistress, but I have a question for you. When you decide to email a potential mistress, what criteria do you use to determine she might be a good fit for you? This may very well be determining the responses you are getting.

PS, Anyone can post anywhere and he usually has very sound advice. Ultimately people are people, regardless of what side of the slash you are on.

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:16:00 PM

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Work on these stats for a moment. You send 100 messages, you might get one back. Take a hundred replies & one might lead to the type of scenario you are looking for. These are the odds you are up against.

Further, just because you think something you write is important or funny, or wht she wants to hear, the recipient might not be in the mood, not receptive, uncaring or even a bloke.

The site is not a dating agency in it's own right, you need to get out from behind the laptopo, into the big wide open.

IMO you aren't doing as bad as some, in that you are asking questions rather than assuming, so good luck & thanks for all the fish.

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(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:16:07 PM

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To the OP. Nice striper.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:16:40 PM

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If it seems odd to you... it just may be odd! lol We all have checks and balances and if something seems odd and you have good reason to think it odd... then go with your feelings on it. You are your own best guide unless you are in denial or lie to yourself somehow. I don't see you doing that from things you have said here and on your profile.

There is a lot of odd stuff around here. lol We aren't different because of our kink or things we like to do... we are just human beings doing what humans do. Good and bad. As long as you look at it like that and keep following your own guide, you should be okay.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:21:16 PM

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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We are all people, which means that we are all different... the dominant women who post here regularly are interested in meeting other people, and talking to them one human to another, without any nonsense about roles. If we don't get along as people, we're not going to have anything much in common as far as kink goes.

Hi, I'm Hib. Lots of men launch into titles and whatnot, but for ME it's not needed. Yes, I am one of those leather master types, but until we have an agreement otherwise, I'm just Hib, talking to Steve. A man who is into high protocol, or who has Ideas (or preconceived notions

) of how doms and subs interact might say that I am Not Domly Enough. And that's okay, for that person, I am not a match.

If you see someone whose profile interests her, say hi, start a conversation in whatever way you would in real time. If you get blown off, move on. Don't lead with kink or sex---we love kink, we love sex, but women want to know more about you than what you like done to your junk.

Think about what kind of interaction/relationship you are looking for. You might want one of those domly dom worship me kinds of women, and if so, they are easy to find.

I don't know a single dominant woman that charges to meet people UNLESS she is a pro dominant. None of us ask for pics of strangers, or send checklists. (okay, that's a generalization, but it's based on twenty years of doing this)

Have fun!

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 12/21/2011 12:42:09 PM >

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:23:34 PM

MistressEllen444

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I am a little bored, so will give it a shot. You are 20 years old so my first thought is that a lot of Domme's don't want to break in a newbie who may or may not know what they want.

My second thought is that if you approach a "real" Domme then she is going to do a little research and find out that you are just like a zillion sub men who whine about having to do a little legwork to distinguish who may fit what you are looking for.
Case in point: I recently met with a man who seemed on many levels to be a nice fit for what I was looking for. We scheduled an initial meeting to see if there was any chemistry before going down any online fun avenue. Now to me, when someone is willing to meet rather quickly it makes me more hopeful they are mostly accurate in their profile and are ready to prove it rather than stringing me along online looking for jollies... Anyway, hopes up, I go meet this man and he immediately starts to spew forth with bitter attitude about how the Dommes he has met all ask for shoes at a first meeting and he is not going to buy a start to a relationship. Fast forward to now, I have found the man I want and it is not Mr Bitter, and Mr Bitter has learned a valuable lesson - don't judge everyone by your past experiences or if you do, keep your mouth shut until they proved or disprove your opinion.

You see a Ferrari across the street and offer anything to get it then are disappointed when you pop the hood and there is no motor?

Many people will give you very good advice here - look local, be realistic about what you have to offer, search for someone who may not be a 10. And remember, Dommes do not have to read your profile or search for you. I have never searched for a man, have never had to - be prepared to do a lot of work to even get noticed by someone who just may turn out to be a great friend and mentor.

I wish you great adventures.

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:34:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

Work on these stats for a moment. You send 100 messages, you might get one back. Take a hundred replies & one might lead to the type of scenario you are looking for. These are the odds you are up against.

Further, just because you think something you write is important or funny, or wht she wants to hear, the recipient might not be in the mood, not receptive, uncaring or even a bloke.

The site is not a dating agency in it's own right, you need to get out from behind the laptopo, into the big wide open.

IMO you aren't doing as bad as some, in that you are asking questions rather than assuming, so good luck & thanks for all the fish.

If he's sending hundreds of messages, I think that alone would mean his criteria is off. Maybe I'm just picky... but at any given time if there's 10 profiles I'm interested in trying to contact that's a lot. I agree with the rest though.

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(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:40:07 PM

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Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong.

As requested, I checked your profile.

The first of your three friends seems real -- I am not sure though. The second is almost certainly a fake. The third is a tribute Domme from abroad. She might be fake too. Even if she isn't, you are way too young and good looking to need to go that route. Based on this sample, your confidence in your profile reading abilities is obviously not merited. Maybe you should listen to good advice instead of being snarky.

Your own profile reads like a scammer's and you have a bevy of fake friends. If you were a female sub, I would block you and move on. That may be why you are having problems.

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 12/21/2011 12:59:46 PM >

_____________________________

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A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:43:25 PM

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I never said I was sending hundreds of messages, that would be ridiculous. I have a life outside of this website. I have a solid platform of criteria in which I look for when searching for a female. This includes location, age, interests, if they seem genuine and nice, if I find them attractive and the overall vibe I get from reading their profile.
I know this is not a "dating site" like someone posted.. And I do get out from" begind my laptop so I don't know where that came from". I'm on here just trying to meet some local females that I seem fit to me.

(in reply to Soyokaze)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:46:13 PM

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Fetters, what in his profile reads like a scammer? I didn't see anything of the like.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:47:49 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carralo1

I never said I was sending hundreds of messages, that would be ridiculous. I have a life outside of this website. I have a solid platform of criteria in which I look for when searching for a female. This includes location, age, interests, if they seem genuine and nice, if I find them attractive and the overall vibe I get from reading their profile.
I know this is not a "dating site" like someone posted.. And I do get out from" begind my laptop so I don't know where that came from". I'm on here just trying to meet some local females that I seem fit to me.

Steve,

Get the wedgie out of your ass. Niney was extrapolating to prove a point. If you think those "friends" sound genuine on their profile then there is your problem: your picker is busted.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 12/21/2011 12:48:39 PM >

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:49:36 PM

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Wow I had no idea mine read like a scammers.. I'd love to know why? And my friends I just deleted. I don't know them, they friended me when i first signed on so I accepted, didn't really know much about the site when I first set it up but
I'm learning slowly lol

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:50:39 PM

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I don't think your profile is all that good, but it doesn't look like a scammer's.

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(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:53:53 PM

searching4mysir

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Just as an FYI - My friends on here I have either met in person and/or communicated with them extensively here in the forums AND through private CMail. I never accept friend requests from strangers.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:56:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carralo1

I never said I was sending hundreds of messages, that would be ridiculous. I have a life outside of this website. I have a solid platform of criteria in which I look for when searching for a female. This includes location, age, interests, if they seem genuine and nice, if I find them attractive and the overall vibe I get from reading their profile.
I know this is not a "dating site" like someone posted.. And I do get out from" begind my laptop so I don't know where that came from". I'm on here just trying to meet some local females that I seem fit to me.

Steve,

Get the wedgie out of your ass. Niney was extrapolating to prove a point. If you think those "friends" sound genuine on their profile then there is your problem: your picker is busted.

haha I don't have a wedgie uP my ass.. Or atleast I hope not lol. I see that he was tryingto prove a point and I completely understand where he's comin from. But my post isn't about my picker or the ideal amount of messages to send. I'm just simply curious as to how a normal mistress usually converses in her messages. I am thankful for all the responses but responses that seem to alter my original post rapidly lead to others posting about it and eventually the whole thread is all distorted.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

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