RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists

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RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 7:08:39 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
So then a person can get all paranoid wondering how many times the person is looking at the profile and "stalking" them. The whole thing is ridiculous.

it might be that way for some people but not me, out of my sight, out of my mind... And i think its sort of funny that until they figure out they have been blocked, that they could be emailing their lil hearts out... No wonder guys are always bitchin about emailing women and not getting any responses... lol the poor dudes...

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(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 7:09:55 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs* you haven't faved me, Kana!! *ponders slashing my wrists*

Grins
No need
I follow your life on the forums :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 7:36:28 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs* you haven't faved me, Kana!! *ponders slashing my wrists*

Grins
No need
I follow your life on the forums :-)

fuck. I don't know if thats a good thing or not!! LMAO!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Kana)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 8:12:11 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
So then a person can get all paranoid wondering how many times the person is looking at the profile and "stalking" them. The whole thing is ridiculous.

it might be that way for some people but not me, out of my sight, out of my mind... And i think its sort of funny that until they figure out they have been blocked, that they could be emailing their lil hearts out... No wonder guys are always bitchin about emailing women and not getting any responses... lol the poor dudes...

Actually when you have been blocked and try to send someone an email you will get a nice little thing at the top of the page that says you have been blocked by said person(trust me I learned this by way of a reg poster hahaha) So if those guys have been blocked and don't know it they aren't reading their page...or they are dimwitted.

_____________________________

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(in reply to tj444)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 8:16:05 AM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

What a fascinating thread lol.

I get Admirers from time to time. I click to see who has "Admired" me and usually I don't have a clue who they are, so I shrug it off and move on. I figure they just want to check out my profile from time to time - maybe they like my pictures. Go them.

As for "Friending" me, I don't really see the purpose in the Friends list here, it's not like on Fet where you get a feed of their posts so you can easily see what they've written or what groups they're on, etc. Here it's just a list of people on your profile. If I know someone from the forums and they ask to Friend me, sure, I friend them. If it's some random stranger, I decline it. I do sometimes wonder why some random stranger would arbitrarily send me a Friend's invitation without even a note that says hello, but it's really no biggy to me. I decline and then click back onto the forums.

Who would have thought there would be such heated discussion over this topic lol. To Clickofheels, I'd just say try not to worry about it - people do what people do, for whatever reasons they have. It's just people using tools that CollarMe provides, so they can check back at your profile from time to time. They're going to look at it anyway; they're just using an easier means to do so.

I will say, though, when someone looks at my profile repeatedly I kinda think "Jeez, alright already!". If someone has viewed my profile and they have a pic I really don't like, I remove them from my viewed list.

I think there's a way of removing Admirers without blocking them. I seem to recall a thread in Off Topics about that not too long ago. But I don't remember how.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/30/2011 8:44:02 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
Actually when you have been blocked and try to send someone an email you will get a nice little thing at the top of the page that says you have been blocked by said person(trust me I learned this by way of a reg poster hahaha) So if those guys have been blocked and don't know it they aren't reading their page...or they are dimwitted.

I had to try that again.. lol Yes, it does show that in the top of the page (I didnt notice the first time i did the test)... So once a guy knows to look for that then he would likely stop emailing.. I would expect that he would then also likely remove the person from his favs list too, unless he specifically liked the pics or something..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/31/2011 11:30:22 PM

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

FR to OP

.. And this is exactly why I just use plain old Internet Explorer bookmarks to organize my favorite stalkees. I don't want them getting all spooked or indignant at my audacity to stalk them!

Seriously though.. The "Help" already answers your question, although I would say that what the friends and favs lists are intended to be for, and what people use them for, are not always one and the same. People will always use the tools available to them for whatever purposes they feel suits their wants and needs. Some use it as a bookmark "This person seems interesting, I want to be able to come back and read more later," while others may use it to mark people they intend to get to know better with a more serious interest, and still others may do it for entirely different reasons. (I'm tempted right now to add the OP to my favs just to piss them off :-P)

As for getting all uptight about the pretentiousness and rudeness of people adding you and appearing on your admirers list without your permission.. That's just silly. Would you be just as upset if you were to go out to a bar in a very nice new dress, and someone walked up to you and said "I really admire that dress, it looks great on you!"? Maybe if you felt they were only trying to get you out of the dress.. But then, wouldn't that be pretentious of you to ascribe motives and intentions to another without clear evidence or knowledge, regardless of whether or not such presumptions were ultimately correct or not?

(in reply to tj444)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 12/31/2011 11:45:58 PM

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

I wonder how many times guys email the girl that blocked them before they realize their emails arent getting thru..

So that's why you haven't replied to a single one of my 1,327 12-page emails pouring my heart and soul out to you, proclaiming my unrequited affection, etc. And here I thought my words just moved you so much that you were too speechless to respond. :-(

(in reply to tj444)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 6:40:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels

I am going to clarify ONE LAST TIME!!!

I believe people are being presumptuous when they add me to their favorites list BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT ASKED ME IF I WOULD MIND IF THEY DID!
There is nothing on CM that suggests people have to ask before adding someone to their list. Now you are getting all huffy because they are not following a rule you made up in your head?

I think it makes NO LOGICAL SENSE to add some one to your "favorites list" when you have never spoken with them before and you are ear-marking them to watch.
Littlewonder said it perfectly... "why someone wants to bookmark me is beyond me."
I mark people for different reasons. One of the main ones is when they are so unbelievably stupid that they make me laugh. If I mark it, I can share the joy with others.

I NEVER SAID profiles are presumptuous and rude. I said SOME PEOPLE ARE, in my opinion. I am NOT being deep nor psychotic. I am merely stating MY FEELING on the actions and why it bugs me.
You started a thread about it and keep yelling. Could be why people are thinking this is really bothering you a lot.

To those who didn't think I worded the beginning of my thread "correctly," all you had to do was explain the how/why reason behind a "favorites list" and tell me not to let it bother me. Comments like "seriously????" and "chill" were hardly what I expected...especially given their origin.
I would think the reason behind the list is obvious. You use it to mark profiles that for what ever reason, you want to look at again. There is no way we can tell you why certain people mark your profile. They would have to do that.

And Stella? My day will improve when I stop returning to this post of mine, and realize I needed to dissect and analyze everything before posting.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Clickofheels)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 6:53:32 AM

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Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs* you haven't faved me, Kana!! *ponders slashing my wrists*

Maybe he is like me and memorized your nik after realizing what an awesome person you are. That way you don't have to be put on a list, I just have to do a quick search and there you are

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 7:13:02 AM

Posts: 2298
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I will favorite profiles of somebody that interests me for some specific reason. It's really not a big deal. It does not require any special permission and not a rude action.

The "Friends" feature is a different story though. Every so often I'll get a request by some random stranger. I have yet to find of these random requests worthy of approval.

My control is limited to who I do and don't approve, or want to keep or remove. It's really no big deal.

Logically, there are a number of reasons why somebody might bookmark another on here. It's faulty deductive logic to find "favorites" as being Rude or expecting to be asked permission to be added as a favorite.

People should be well aware of their own limitations of control they have other peoples actions in general, including message board responses. It takes all kinds of people to make the world the interesting place that it is.

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(in reply to tj444)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 7:37:24 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs* you haven't faved me, Kana!! *ponders slashing my wrists*

Maybe he is like me and memorized your nik after realizing what an awesome person you are. That way you don't have to be put on a list, I just have to do a quick search and there you are

*blush*

*smooch*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to thishereboi)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 7:42:30 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

OP, you said telling you to chill isn't good but telling you not to let it bother you is. Well that's what the term chill is used to say. That you've overreacted and need to calm down and not let it bother you.

Oh and NV? Although there's no feed here, the friends list can be used to let you see if a friend has responded on a long thread without reading the last four pages. It's a short cut to their forum posts list.

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(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 7:48:08 AM

Posts: 127
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Sheffield, UK
Status: offline

I agree that the favourites tag is generally used - by me at least - to tag someone whose profile I find interesting, but I don't presently have time to write to them as I would like. So its a form of simple bookmarking in order to find them easily to write another time.
Friends is more problematic; I do get invites from people I've never spoken with at times, and often find they are people whose profiles have the most ginormous lists of friends on them! Maybe their kink is accumulating lots of anonymous friends, I don't know! However, you can always decline being added to their lists by simply decling the invite thats sent to you.
I know of at least one other site on which a decent list of friends is considered to be good form, and to indicate that you are a serious member of the community. You can also indicate if you know the person simply online or in real life. Without a decent friends list, you won't get treated with much respect by others on that site. But I don't think that's the way it works on cm.

_____________________________

'Be humble, because you are made of Earth;
Be noble, because you are made of Stardust.'
Navaho saying.

'There is no way to peace and happiness;
Peace and happiness is the way.'
The Buddha

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/1/2012 12:25:10 PM

Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline

Many social networking sites do indeed work on the "it's how many people you can get on your friends list" system of merits, rather than either the "who you really know"or how you present yourself systems, such as here at CM. Most often, though, it's not the way the board/site was designed, but how the users collectively choose to use the tools available on the site. Nearly any site with a membership-based feature, especially sites with forums, will have a friends and/or favorites feature. Some will go in to more detail by letting you classify them further (like those that have an online only flag, vs an offline/IRL flag, or some such. Many social networking sites further refine the controls in various ways--Only friends can view your full profile, for example--that can also encourage certain behaviors. But people will still be people and use whatever tools are available to them for their own purposes.

(in reply to Higuysitsme)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/2/2012 7:44:10 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*sobs* you haven't faved me, Kana!! *ponders slashing my wrists*

Maybe he is like me and memorized your nik after realizing what an awesome person you are. That way you don't have to be put on a list, I just have to do a quick search and there you are

Huzzah!
Points-yeah, what she said.

You should do spin control.
I love it.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to thishereboi)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/2/2012 9:11:41 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I've been told by a few that added me to their favorites or whatever it is called, so they could get an email when I post in my journal, or post on the forums. I guess it provides a short cut, instead of forcing people to use the search feature, which never seems to work.

I don't see what the big deal is. If random acts of admiration, on the internet, are bothersome - there's always the log off option.

WinD

(in reply to Kana)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/2/2012 9:15:39 AM

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Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It's true--some complete stranger has added me to their faves! Whatever shall I do?

Win, you can subscribe to a person's writing, that's how they get the emails. Your subscribers show up at the very bottom of your friends list---and yeah, some of them I don't even know! I get folks writing to me from what I post on the journal too, which is startling. I am always surprised that anyone is paying attention.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

RE: "Favorites" and "Friends" Lists - 1/2/2012 10:26:37 AM

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I have the same thing happen. I toss some stupid thought that crossed my mind into my journal then promptly forget about it. A week or two later I get an email referencing the stupid thing I wrote and forgot. I read the email then reply with a 'what on earth are you talking about?' kind of email. They then write back, explaining it was about the dumbass thing I wrote and forgot..........to which I feel like and tell them so.........such a dumbass am I!

Kinda like the above post...

I firmly believe that my brain is also on vacation.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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