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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 2:45:50 AM   
GreedyTop


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that's assuming folks would be honest about it... :)

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 8:47:36 AM   
jameslord


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Just putting in my tuppence worth. I tried being a FinSub for a bit and really enjoyed it. I had to pay wank tax and buy her gifts. I stopped because it was too expensive. I am now owned by a wonderful Mistress and I do contribute financially but I see that as only right. It takes a lot of time to manage employees never mind a slave who defers all choices to their Mistress.

I also plan to do a forced Intox session with her and I am looking forward to it. In reality I am not being forced, it is part of the game to feel that it is.

< Message edited by jameslord -- 1/27/2012 8:49:54 AM >

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 8:59:30 AM   
jameslord


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I Forgot to say that one reason for not announcing your financial fetish is that it will up the amount you must pay. Think if it like haggling you always start low.

(in reply to jameslord)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 9:03:17 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jameslord

Just putting in my tuppence worth. I tried being a FinSub for a bit and really enjoyed it. I had to pay wank tax and buy her gifts. I stopped because it was too expensive. I am now owned by a wonderful Mistress and I do contribute financially but I see that as only right. It takes a lot of time to manage employees never mind a slave who defers all choices to their Mistress.

I also plan to do a forced Intox session with her and I am looking forward to it. In reality I am not being forced, it is part of the game to feel that it is.



Thank you for posting :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 5:45:15 PM   
NibbyJibby


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Have you stopped to consider that for some subs the act of paying is a very powerful form of power exchange in itself? Indeed the most powerful sexual organ is the mind, where fantasies, cravings, needs, desires, reality all intermingle together.

If not a form of power exchange for some, it is a rite of adoration and worship for others. In that i am not a true financial slave, my sm/power exchange is more from this perspective. That being said there are times i have partook and very much enjoyed the psychological intensity and mind fuck of financial servitude. It is just one aspect of a number of aspects i enjoy. For me worship, servitude, submission, suffering, sacrifice, etc. comes in many forms. Financial is just one of many... if one puts it in a servitude aspect, power exchange aspect and worship aspect.

When interacting with professionals there are logical, common sense reasons why money should be involved. Why should a professional Domme invest Her time, purchase shoes, boots, extensive wardrobe, implements, etc. to satisfy a slaves fetish and then to give up Her time for free to interact with total strangers... many of whom She may not feel a energy or connection with. That is total illogical to me.

There was a reason in younger years i sought out professionals and to be with expectation and willingness to pay. As a newbie to pay a professional i was with expectations in return... safety, professional insight, skill, expertise, discretion, limits respected, limits to be pushed sanely, etc. As time went on i migrated away from that aspect into other interactions and relationships. In a new venue i found new limits being pushed. In being with my earlier experiences i could now guide others and to safely explore limits with a non-pros. Non pro and lifestyle is awesome, but not for one moment do i regret my proDomme experiences. Without that privilege i would not be the submissive and slave i am today and with the open mind, insight and varied experience i am privileged to have.... nor with the zest and craving i have to explore further, in that there remains much i have not yet partook of and still hunger for.

I believe the uninitiated tend to view financial Dommes similar as those of vanilla persuasion would typically stereotype such. It can be that way yes, and there are those that are content with such. However it can also be something much different and also something much deeper.

(in reply to XFootSlave4U)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 6:13:19 PM   
NibbyJibby


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quote:

that pictures makes me sore lol(I'm sure theres someone who doesn't like mine). It's something I will have to get over.



Yes it was hot, hot, hot... no pun intended :-) That photo is from a online session that included much hot wax, forced intoxication and a financial aspect via CC and Amazon. Goddess was not into forced intoxication, but She is gifted with awesome insight and cleverly picked up on my subliminal hints :-) It was something i was curious to explore and so we explored together... two newbies on a venture. lol This part of the wax play was intense and i was worried She would stop it when the candle started burning inside my mouth. It became personal challenge for me at that point and am glad She let Her cruel, no mercy streak shine through. Thank You Goddess :-) Wax play is one of Her favourites... absolute She is most clever and imaginative with it. Have enjoyed a few unexpected episodes. lol


(in reply to Justyourpet)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 6:54:32 PM   
Zonie63


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I haven't read the whole thread, but I've read similar threads like this one. They seem to come up an awful lot, don't they?

One thing that I do wonder about that: Many of those posting in defense of financial domination are asking why should the OP or anyone else care what others are doing? That seems to be a common view, but I might also ask: Why do so many people respond to these threads at all? If someone complains about findommes, why should anyone care? Why is it usually the same cast of characters who always respond to these threads saying that people shouldn't care about it, but yet, you care enough to respond to defend it? Why?

And why not just answer the question? If you're in this solely for the money, then just say so. There's no shame in admitting something like that, so why all the denial? There are some findommes who say that they're not really into BDSM at all, that they're not turned on by it, so it's clear it's not really a "kink" for them. They're obviously vanilla women who just found a way of making easy money by a little play acting on webcam. They're mostly just cam girls, and they'll never meet in person, so what's the point? Why is it so hard for so many people to admit this?

I think what floors me about all this is that when I browse the profiles, I notice that it's the findommes who are the ones who scream the loudest about "fake male subs." I have to admit that I always get a good chuckle out of that. Fakes faking other fakes. What is this world coming to?


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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 7:14:24 PM   
xxblushesxx


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Hmmm...since I've been almost the only fin-dom posting in this thread, I'm assuming at least some of those comments were directed at me. So I'll answer them as if they were. (I'm assuming you want to know the answers since you asked.)

The reason I respond to threads like this, is because I feel that I can answer the questions asked calmly, politely, and hopefully share some insight with those who are interested.

I'm not just in it solely for the money. My reasons are my own, but I do have connections with certain of my clients, and care for them as people first. (I'm not putting that up on my website or my blog, but since you asked...) Some of what I do (and this encompasses more than just the findom stuff although that can be part of it) is giving some men the healing that acceptence and even encouragement of things they've long been ashamed of can bestow. And no, I don't see myself as some sort of Florence Nightingale of the fetish world; but I hear and see a lot, and it means a lot to finally be accepted (even if they're paying, there is a connection) for who you are.

I don't call anyone fake. Except for people who make obvious sock puppets over and over again.

I hope this gives you some of the answers you sought.

< Message edited by xxblushesxx -- 1/27/2012 7:15:15 PM >


_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Zonie63)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/27/2012 8:44:52 PM   
Zonie63


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Hmmm...since I've been almost the only fin-dom posting in this thread, I'm assuming at least some of those comments were directed at me. So I'll answer them as if they were. (I'm assuming you want to know the answers since you asked.)


Actually, it wasn't directed at you or any one individual. I was just wondering why people care so much about the complaints about findommes. Many posters seemingly go out of their way to say that others shouldn't care about that which doesn't concern them, yet THEY care enough to post on and on in response on the subject. If someone is just venting about something they don't like, then why should anyone care? That's what I'm asking.

quote:


The reason I respond to threads like this, is because I feel that I can answer the questions asked calmly, politely, and hopefully share some insight with those who are interested.

I'm not just in it solely for the money. My reasons are my own, but I do have connections with certain of my clients, and care for them as people first. (I'm not putting that up on my website or my blog, but since you asked...) Some of what I do (and this encompasses more than just the findom stuff although that can be part of it) is giving some men the healing that acceptence and even encouragement of things they've long been ashamed of can bestow. And no, I don't see myself as some sort of Florence Nightingale of the fetish world; but I hear and see a lot, and it means a lot to finally be accepted (even if they're paying, there is a connection) for who you are.


That's a fair answer. I don't mean any offense, and I'm not trying to be nosy here. Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do, but I was mainly wondering about the discussions about findommes more than the actual findommes. For those who are running a legitimate business which offers a legitimate service for a set price, that's no problem.

But if I was in a profession where some of my peers were unethical, then I would be far more concerned about the unethical behavior than criticizing those who complain about it.

Lawyers have a bar association to police their own and disbar anyone who behaves unethically. There are state medical boards made up of doctors who police their own profession to weed out the bad apples. If I was a plastic surgeon and found out that one of my peers was operating some kind of scam and harming people, then I would be outraged at the scammer, not those who were harmed by him and complained about it. And I certainly wouldn't be going out of my way to defend it either.

That's what I can't understand about the "business" aspects of this. It seems to have the feel of a back-alley drug deal, and that's probably why it bothers some people. It's not like going to the store and getting bacon and eggs. If the eggs are rotten, then I know the store will give me my money back.

Do pro-dommes or findommes offer a money back guarantee? Is there any recourse for a dissatisfied customer? Can they report a findomme to the Better Business Bureau? Is there some kind of Better Dommes Bureau that one can consult with in order to separate the legitimate professionals from the scam artists? And if not, why not?

Don't the pro-dommes and findommes care about the reputation of their profession, just as doctors and lawyers most certainly would?

quote:


I don't call anyone fake. Except for people who make obvious sock puppets over and over again.


I agree about sock puppets. Sock puppets are in an internet fact of life. It's a message board phenomenon which exists on every board covering every topic under the sun. They seem to be far more prevalent on political boards.

But in the context of this site, I would probably define a "fake" as someone pretending to be something that they're not.

quote:

I hope this gives you some of the answers you sought.


Yes, thanks. The answers I seek may not ever be known, though. I'm still trying to figure out the meaning of life.

I don't know. Just from reading this thread, I see a lot of scorn and contempt directed at sub males who might be wont to express their frustrations at what is an impossible situation. I can sympathize with it. As the old saying goes, "until you've walked in our shoes..."

I see a lot of women make fun of guys who "think with their dick," but if they don't have dicks, they really have no idea what they're talking about. So, that might be something for the ladies to consider, with all due respect. You really have no idea what it's like, so perhaps a bit more understanding and compassion might be in order. Just saying.






(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/28/2012 10:39:36 AM   
payingoinker


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I don't see how people can condemn financial domination as bad then turn around and play with poop.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/28/2012 11:36:25 AM   
xxblushesxx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

I don't see how people can condemn financial domination as bad then turn around and play with poop.


Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/28/2012 12:02:18 PM   
payingoinker


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Thanks xxblushesxx, that was my point!!!


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

I don't see how people can condemn financial domination as bad then turn around and play with poop.


Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.

quote:

Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 312
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/28/2012 12:04:36 PM   
xxblushesxx


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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

Thanks xxblushesxx, that was my point!!!


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

I don't see how people can condemn financial domination as bad then turn around and play with poop.


Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.

quote:

Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.



You would do well to say what you mean, rather than beating around the bush. Much less chance at misunderstandings that way.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to payingoinker)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 1/28/2012 12:23:04 PM   
njlauren


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Not into findom, but I can sort of understand it. I personally don't think the tribute for a pro domme sesssion is findom, but that is another story.

I think part of the problem is the 'fantasy projection' of findom versus the reality of it, in many ways to me it is like outsiders looking at dommes as being this vicious, man hating bitch abusing some male and can't understand it being consensual or that a domme could love/have respect for a bottom/sub.....

To me it is simply a kink someone is into, they are into the fantasy of it, of being financially used, etc. or get turned by the 'cold hearted bitch' who raids their wallet. Yes, there can be abuse, if a dom/me deliberately got a slave drunk (I mean for real), and took all the money in their wallet because they were out, or basically took their credit cards when they were drunk, and ran them all up to their limits, without that being negotiated, it would be like rape, but if when sober a sub negotiated that kind of thing with the domme, that they wanted to be made to drink and then watch her 'rob' them, big difference because they consented while they could.There are subs who are into blackmail scenarios, where the domme 'forces' them to do things with fear of being exposed, but it is negotiated, whereas is a domme simply told a sub "I have you on film, if you don't give me your credit cards to use, or get me 1000 dollars" when that was not part of the negotiated scene, then yeah, it would be abuse......

Again, I think like many things in BD/SM, it can look like abuse when you are not part of it, and yes like many aspects of bd/sm it has the potential for abuse.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/6/2012 7:00:15 PM   
SidneyStarr


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I am into all and many facets of Domination. I have spoken to FinSubs and many of them say it has to do with giving up control and being taken advantage of. As if they couldn't fight being wallet raped. They find it satisfying. It is hugely popular, in fact searching online I have come across many support websites and groups for people that fell in too deep and it became an addiction for them.

When I have people that I meet for sessions I want it to be fulfilling for both parties involved. One young man who had been sending thousands of dollars to some lady on here and she never met him in person. They had planned too but always something came up on her end. We met one day and went shopping. He wanted to take me shopping for lingere and shoes. With the shoes he wanted me to try them on and he helped me with the trying on part. I Felt bad for him being taken advantage of by this other lady, but he asked me to do this. So I picked things out and yes it did feel odd, because I got the sense it wasn't really his thing. I am a good read of people and I could tell he wanted to be babied more and was looking to be taken cared of in moe of a mommy and child aspect. He is young and new to this so he has many curiousities and is just trying to find where he fits in.

It is hard to say what one thing FinSubs are looking for. Some say they just really find it sexy o have a woman walk all over them and spending their money.

I look at it in the same way I look at any fetish, with respect and no judgement.

(in reply to lizi)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/7/2012 5:24:18 PM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
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Some people love their lives being ruined.
I can accept that.
I don't have to respect it.
I knew this little loose thread was gonna be bumped sooner or later.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/7/2012 5:40:48 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


I'm not just in it solely for the money.


This is the key for me.

There's a difference between what you're doing and some 20 year old girl, who isn't really a Domme, but has figured out how to get desperate guys to subsidize her life.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/8/2012 6:30:47 AM   
SlutHumiliation


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\

< Message edited by SlutHumiliation -- 2/8/2012 6:34:28 AM >

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/8/2012 6:37:30 AM   
SlutHumiliation


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: payingoinker

I don't see how people can condemn financial domination as bad then turn around and play with poop.


Just as you have your own fetishes, so do others have theirs.
If you don't want yours ridiculed, you should not ridicule others'.


I see. So by your twisted logic, none of us should ever criticize pedophiles, for example? Please explain.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/8/2012 6:39:05 AM   
SlutHumiliation


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Joined: 2/2/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


I'm not just in it solely for the money.


This is the key for me.

There's a difference between what you're doing and some 20 year old girl, who isn't really a Domme, but has figured out how to get desperate guys to subsidize her life.



I submit to you that this is an EXTREMELY fine line, the thickness of which is directly proportional to how much financial involvement one has in all of this ;)

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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