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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/9/2012 9:54:26 AM   
Zonie63


Posts: 2826
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From: The Old Pueblo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessHerself

Straight from the horses mouth:


That was an interesting exchange. Thanks for sharing that. I don't suppose there's anything I can say against it, as long as both parties are happy.

I guess what it really comes down to is how people have different views about money itself. I think men and women view money differently. I think of this whenever I see commercials for jewelry stores. To some men, a diamond is just a useless piece of rock, yet women really go for that kind of stuff. Men love cars, electronics, gadgets - things that you can actually use. And beer. Lots of beer. I can't see the logic of buying expensive bottles of wine when the same amount of money could have bought tons and tons of beer.

Speaking personally, I heed Collarme's warning against sending money over the internet, as it just seems like good common sense to me. I would never give any money to anyone I haven't met in real life. Similarly, I wouldn't submit (financially or otherwise) to someone I didn't trust completely, even if there might be a temptation to throw caution to the four winds.

I'll confess that it does pain me to see others put themselves in dangerous situations without really checking things out first. Maybe financial domination doesn't break the barrier of "danger" in some people's eyes, since after all, "it's just money." But again, I think it just comes down to differing attitudes about money in general. Some people just see it as a useful tool to help facilitate business and commerce, while others see it as the be all and end all of their entire existence.

(in reply to GoddessHerself)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/9/2012 10:03:03 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14413
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63
To some men, a diamond is just a useless piece of rock, yet women really go for that kind of stuff. Men love cars, electronics, gadgets - things that you can actually use.


I wear the diamond ring every single day. The Baja Bug hasn't moved in a year.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Zonie63)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/9/2012 10:04:23 AM   
GoddessHerself


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Zonie... that exchange was a personal one, sought for the benefit of this forum post only....... but despite the fact that I knew the reasoning behind his actions, I persisted, he answered unquestioningly and honestly,in turn I trust it has answered questions in the minds of those whom still seek enlightening ... as well as those that are still phased by the phenomenon of financial submission.

_____________________________

Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.

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Profile   Post #: 343
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/9/2012 11:44:29 AM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
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Whatever floats your boat if it's consensual.
I could introduce the term to bankers and such as well.
Problem is when a large majority abuses something wich has a new namesake, don't come running round crying.
I AM NOT LIKE THAT!

Can't help we live in a democracy and the majority decides what is normal.
It's not the exemption that makes the rule.

Life's a bitch and then I fuck her real hard.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/9/2012 11:55:29 AM >

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/11/2012 11:11:42 AM   
YourQueenErisca


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Joined: 10/11/2011
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What is the most powerful thing that moves the world in 21st century? What will make a human most vulnerable, at its absence? Simple answer: Money
I'm into TPE lifestyle with consensual modern-age slavery. I'm not a pro-domme and I'm not a findomme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Financial domination used to bug me as well. How dare those women take advantage of those poor innocent men? Until I realized that money is the ultimate form of power and findom is the ultimate power exchange.


When I control My slave, I control his finances too. I never used to do this until a fellow friend of Mine ( a lifestyle Domme), explained the logic of controlling men fully by controlling his dick and his wallet. Financial domination works similar to chastity. When he lose his access to his own finance, it makes him feel vulnerable and unable to escape his Owner ( it's the most peaceful inner state of Mind for a slave, it is what My slaves have told Me ). However, it's also the duty of his owner to ensure that the slave's well being is taken care of (all his bills are paid, etc.

Financial domination alone is a put off for Me as it does nothing to Me. Financial domination inside a TPE lifestyle is exciting. It's exciting to see My slave beg Me to buy his new clothes. I make him lick all My shoes clean, before I take him out to shop. For every penny spend beyond the shopping budget, when we reach home, I bend him over My desk and whip him on his ass-cheeks

In most scenes in real life slavery, consent is given only once. It will spoil the D-s relationship if the Domme/ Dom is to repeatedly ask her/his slave's consent. As long as he/she did not raise it as an issue, it's accepted as still being in consent. Ethics are something subjective between the slaves/subs and his/her owner. In general humanity, is it unethical to tie up someone and beat him/her blue and black, simply because there is mutual desire? In extreme medical illness, a patient consents to being put off ( killed) and the doctor wants to putt off the person too as he is aware that the patient will only live short but will endure extreme physical pain and emotional torture during that period of life. However, even with mutual consent, it is unethical too do so. WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE OF ETHICS??
There are enough confusions in the "vanilla" world of what is ethical and what is not. I believed that such an issue is non-existent in "kinky" world. Sigh.


quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

And of the guys that actually do pay findommes or buy them presents?  Are they really into that, or is the competition to find a real domme so great that they are willing to put out some money up front in hopes of getting their foot in the door and moving to some kind of actual D/s relationship later? 



YES. In some cases, when I did not reply the first message, it is common to receive a second message from the person promising Me gifts and tributes. It makes Me sick. If I was never interested in you in the first place, I will never be. There are many man who thinks they can use money to buy Dommes. MONEY CANT BUY HAPPINESS BUT IT CAN BORROW IT FOR A WHILE.

I have also received several mails asking if I'm interested to own a pay-pig / human ATM and if I'm into blackmailing for cash. Those are not My kink but it's definitely the kink of the senders. I find it gross that someone enjoys eating shit. I can never understand it but I do not bother to understand it. There are so many things in the world beyond My understanding. EVERYBODY HAVE DIFFERENT KINK. LETS MUTUALLY RESPECT EACH OTHER'S KINK. IF YOU CANT UNDERSTAND IT, TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT BUT DO NOT CONDEMN IT. Not everyone can understand BDSM and I'm pretty sure that many vanilla people find us kinksters as "crazy, insane and unethical "


Queen Erisca

(in reply to MrBukani)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/11/2012 11:23:41 AM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
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SO I dont bother being dutch and keepin slaves

(in reply to YourQueenErisca)
Profile   Post #: 346
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/12/2012 10:29:24 AM   
Nobody84


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Financial domination is just the opposite of real domination. As long as a woman begs for money will never be dominant.
Only the complete capability of supporting (and spoiling) herself can provide the required power and confidence to dominate a man.

(in reply to MrBukani)
Profile   Post #: 347
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/12/2012 11:01:10 PM   
GoddessHerself


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Joined: 1/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nobody84

Financial domination is just the opposite of real domination. As long as a woman begs for money will never be dominant.
Only the complete capability of supporting (and spoiling) herself can provide the required power and confidence to dominate a man.



" As long as a woman begs for money *SHE* will never be dominant. "

I'm yet to see/read any of these so-called financial 'Insta-Domme's' beg for money.

_____________________________

Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.

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Profile   Post #: 348
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/13/2012 7:32:54 AM   
stef


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nobody84

Financial domination is just the opposite of real domination. As long as a woman begs for money will never be dominant.
Only the complete capability of supporting (and spoiling) herself can provide the required power and confidence to dominate a man.

Kevin? Is that you?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Nobody84)
Profile   Post #: 349
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/13/2012 8:30:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
oh god, stef..I thought it was just me thinking that!! lol

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/13/2012 8:50:45 AM   
kalikshama


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Kevin doesn't capitalize.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/13/2012 10:11:17 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Yep. And there's nothing in there about getting slapped by a dominant woman wearing a diamond ring, or about how much value a live in slave adds to any dominant woman's life.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 352
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/13/2012 10:16:18 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

...I really just want to get some perspective on what finacial domination is, what's in it for the findoms and finsubs, and why it bothers so many people, including myself. When I first started hanging around here, I was vehemently against financial domination. I viewed financial dominants as lazy sleaze bags who suckered the desperate out of their hard earned cash. But in the time I've been here, I've learned that this is not the case. There is a kink for absolutely everything, and there are no exceptions to this rule. Someone, somewhere, gets off on buying chicks free stuff, and I've come to accept that. Furthermore, I've come to know several findoms on this site that I respect, like blushes, for example. So, why does it still bother me so much?

And to the finsubs out there---if you are out there---what is your perspective on this?



I can't tell you why it bothers you, obviously, but I can speak to the finsub perspective. It's far, far more than just a kink for me. In fact, I doubt if you could call this a sexual kink at all in my case. But it is a strong desire, something I really love to do and wish to do with the right person. I am a person who has lived in an extreme enslavement situation and plans to again, and for me it's a completely natural method of giving to a prospective or actual owner, a way of being of service. I have a very, very strong desire to give--everything I have--to the right person. Financial slavery fits in perfectly with this, and it is a way I can begin to serve someone I've decided is right for me immediately should they also desire this, even if they are remote (A note on this: the sort of person I'm looking for is not very common, so I just assume I am not going to find him or her locally; it's likely going to be remote at first.)

From the standpoint of somebody who wants to own a slave, demanding a financial gift or tribute or whatever you want to call it from a prospective servant is a very smart, practical move in this sense: it weeds out, very quickly, the romantic talkers from those ready to walk the walk. Slavery, the version I seek out anyway, is very hard and requires considerable inner fortitude to stick with. It's far more than just sexual kink fulfillment or thrilling fun and games. Some potential slaves love discussing theory, love getting off on the hot things an extreme Master or Mistress says, but when it comes time to submit to the pain or the hard work that they don't want to do right that second, or to the new rigid limitations and protocols in their lives, they balk, waffle, procrastinate, break the rules, etc. One quick and easy way of assessing someone's seriousness about being a slave is to demand they sacrifice something for you, and nothing is more valued and precious to many people than their hard-earned cash. This is, literally, putting your money where your mouth is. It's also earning the right to be considered seriously as a slave. It demonstrates that yes, you are willing to give, willing to sacrifice, willing to serve _for real_. It's not all pretty words and fantasies about what such things are like.

I fully realize that majority of financial domination does not involve the relatively rare situation of a master or mistress looking for a genuine slave. In fact, a lot of what you see in the personal ads _is_ just women who have as little to do with dominance (let alone slave-owning) as a parakeet does, looking for a free meal ticket. Perhaps that is the answer to why it bothers you? Because so many people abuse this situation and misrepresent themselves? While this is a very specific case I am describing, it is a valid case: financial domination is used by legitimate mistresses and masters looking for real slaves and is often warmly embraced by such slaves.

You are right that it is also a sexual kink, particularly for male submissives. It is not a sexual kink for me, a female submissive, but it is a driving desire of mine. What I wish for myself is that the partial financial domination which I imagine will be the first step in a relationship and which will probably be conducted remotely at first will eventually evolve into the full natural version typical of slavery (traditional slavery, not the romantic-relationship style practiced today) which is that everything I produce or earn automatically becomes the property of my future master or mistress, who will do with it what he or she pleases.

-------------------------------

I suppose it would be wise to add at this point I am NOT AT THIS TIME actively looking for an owner. I am taking a long sabbatical from that process, so I would appreciate it if lurking opportunists would PLEASE not flood my inbox with $$$ demands. :/ When I'm ready to look (and it will be long after this thread is gone and forgotten!) I will hang my shingle (er, profile) back up.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to HisPet21)
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/14/2012 1:48:45 PM   
misscandycloud


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/25/2012
Status: offline
I say that if he wants you to dominate for his pleasure fantasy during his pleasure time then the the sub needs to obey or what? he is the one to pick you when he is feeling to want when I am busy with whatever? well? why should he think that I am the one to be lucky cause of him? what girl wants to spend time with any man who is poor? he cannot handle his wants? this poor sub is not getting it when there are so many to pick. when can we if busy out in public so much time to be wasting little time to play? makes no time for our fun so please don't be wasting time if you have nothing but your time to just be a fake cheap sub? so go make some money honey? did I confuse you or do you now understand? sounds good I say

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/14/2012 1:54:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14413
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: misscandycloud

I say that if he wants you to dominate for his pleasure fantasy during his pleasure time then the the sub needs to obey or what? he is the one to pick you when he is feeling to want when I am busy with whatever? well? why should he think that I am the one to be lucky cause of him? what girl wants to spend time with any man who is poor? he cannot handle his wants? this poor sub is not getting it when there are so many to pick. when can we if busy out in public so much time to be wasting little time to play? makes no time for our fun so please don't be wasting time if you have nothing but your time to just be a fake cheap sub? so go make some money honey? did I confuse you or do you now understand? sounds good I say


You confused me since most of this makes no sense.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to misscandycloud)
Profile   Post #: 355
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/15/2012 2:15:23 PM   
DommesLesEnigma


Posts: 108
Joined: 2/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: misscandycloud

I say that if he wants you to dominate for his pleasure fantasy during his pleasure time then the the sub needs to obey or what? he is the one to pick you when he is feeling to want when I am busy with whatever? well? why should he think that I am the one to be lucky cause of him? what girl wants to spend time with any man who is poor? he cannot handle his wants? this poor sub is not getting it when there are so many to pick. when can we if busy out in public so much time to be wasting little time to play? makes no time for our fun so please don't be wasting time if you have nothing but your time to just be a fake cheap sub? so go make some money honey? did I confuse you or do you now understand? sounds good I say


You confused me since most of this makes no sense.


me too

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There are many people that have found their way. The great ones are those that help others find their way.

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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/15/2012 11:12:16 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
quote:

ORIGINAL: misscandycloud

he is the one to pick you when he is feeling to want when I am busy with whatever? well?


_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to misscandycloud)
Profile   Post #: 357
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/16/2012 5:47:19 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
Fornica...damn it! I tried to read that like five times! *doh*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/16/2012 10:39:53 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nobody84

Financial domination is just the opposite of real domination. As long as a woman begs for money will never be dominant.
Only the complete capability of supporting (and spoiling) herself can provide the required power and confidence to dominate a man.



You haven't met a lot of real dommes, have you?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Nobody84)
Profile   Post #: 359
RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 2/22/2012 4:43:00 PM   
DennisNajee


Posts: 21
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline
It is a fetish and one that is perfectly acceptable to those who are into it.

Like anything else, there are many who are genuinely interested and others who are perverting it.  When I see a profile of a 21 year old "Financial Domme" my mind drifts to scammer.  But I know there are plenty of experienced women who engage in this fetish.  As for the men, money is the ultimate symbol of giving it over.  Women view sex, men money....that is where the ultimate in power exchange occurs.  I can only presume that is why most financial slaves are male.  In short, a slave gives the Master open access to the body, a financial slave opens up the bank account.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 360
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