RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like?

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 8:46:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nequam

i'm getting the feeling i might be a bit different, but what i actually like in a Domme or Mistress is an air of confidence and authority, even to the point of believing she is better than me. i like feeling she is in control in all situations. And i have to say, it is really important she know i am their for her needs and pleasure, she can do whatever she wants. i am very serious when i say this but it seems most of the Mistresses i met are not as serious about Domination.

It seems to me that as long as she's super human and in control all the time (and doesn't need anything) you're there for her. Well, some of us have real lives and are serious about living our mundane normal lives (you know work and all that, maybe families, friends and pets), I can only imagine how deeply traumatic it must be for you, that we are not quite as serious about being wank fodder and kink delivery systems for you as we are about our own daily lives...

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 4:40:40 PM

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1. i never said anybody here was wrong or not good enough.
2. i do not expect anyone to be super anything.
3. A question was asked by the OP and i answered that from my perspective. So sorry, i didn't realise everyone had to want the same thing and everyone had to agree all the time. Here i was thinking people were allowed to be different, to have different ideas and desires and here i was thinking this forum was a place to discuss ideas. i thought when someone asked a question, they wanted genuine answers.
4. i am not seeking a full relationship like most of you. my answer pertains to what i am seeking. So sorry if i need to feel the other person is in control of themself and their life for me to feel safe. i was under the misguided belief that people in bdsm were people, that some of us have life issues and aren't perfect.

With regard to my belief Dominants are superior, yes i do believe that and i don't think it's bad. When a person is at work, the boss is often refered to as the superior, it does not mean they aren't equal as human beings. It does not mean the boss is automatically oh so much better than the workers. It means they are in charge, the leader. The person with more responsibility.

As for it being whank fodder[sic], well yes, anything someone likes that doesn't do it for a person is likely to be thought of as wank fodder. You can think what you like, i've been in the bdsm scene for 12 years. i've been with the same Master for over 7 of those years. If it's wank fodder, then i've been living wank for 7 years and it's worked and is still working. Before i can submit to anyone, i need to know they will be responsible and in charge. i need to know i can rely on them and trust them. Once in the relationship, i take the idea of it being about them very seriously. i'm not asking someone to be in super bitch Mistress mode 25/7, (and yes, i did type 25 deliberately). i'm wanting to find a real person, who does have her off moments, her down moments, her 'can't be bothered' moments. The important thing is, i don't feel like she's about to fall apart at any moment. But hey, that's what i need.

Like i said, i thought honest answers were actually wanted.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 4:44:17 PM

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Oh and before anyone decides they need to get stuck into that one, yes i am with a Master and he has given me persmission to find a Mistress to serve. The details of the what and why are no-one's business.

(in reply to nequam)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 4:52:38 PM

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That isnt what you said, though, is it?

I'm don't want to seem like I'm jumping your case, but for good or ill we do view things through our own filters. You said you want your dom to be superior, and didnt qualify that. Is it surprising that you were not thought to mean "superior in the relationship"? Were we supposed to guess what you actually meant? And how to take the "not serious" comment?

Many female doms get the "I'm so lowly" approach. Very few of us want to be served by an inferior type of person, no matter if they are fetching our tea and serving it on their knees.

Good luck finding a mistress. It can be challenging to serve one person, let alone two.

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 4:54:34 PM

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You are entitled to your opinion. Expressing your opinion, just as you did in your post... is all well and fine. The last sentence in your first post, I think was a trigger point. This is where some discussion, misunderstanding, assumptions... whatever come into play, that is common for a message board. Your last sentence typically comes from males around here and some of us may be basing our response according to that and our experiences with those that say it.

Basically is sounds like... you are very serious about your submission and all... and most domina's are not serious about domination. Do you know how many times we get attacked over something like that? We aren't doing the domina thing right and therefore we are fake. It is a touchy subject at times. lol

While you feel as you do, we feel as we do and some of us see what you said as a red flag of someone imagining what a domina should be, creating a situation we know to be faulty for us. It's pretty much like a set up for failure. lol And it is often an insult.

Personally, I just wanted to see where you were coming from and asked. That is another thing that happens on these forums, which can create a discussion or debate or worse. lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 5/8/2012 5:00:57 PM >

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 5:16:22 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nequam

i'm getting the feeling i might be a bit different, but what i actually like in a Domme or Mistress is an air of confidence and authority, even to the point of believing she is better than me. i like feeling she is in control in all situations. And i have to say, it is really important she know i am their for her needs and pleasure, she can do whatever she wants. i am very serious when i say this but it seems most of the Mistresses i met are not as serious about Domination.

Dommes are actually human and we can't be in control in ALL situations. It's just not....humanly possible. We know that. I hope you do too. Repeat, Dommes are human....Dommes are human.... I'm serious when I say that too.

NBMG

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 7:15:00 PM

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Lockit, yes, that last part may have been badly worded, sorry. i was not meaning to imply Dommes are not serious, it's just that in my contact with people so far, my experience has been when i explain what submission/slavery means to me and that i am serious about it, they seem to be quite nervous. i have come across many who aren't that 'into it' and only really wanting some hanky-panky, which is not what i'm seeking at all. The thing is, what i say here and on my profile is exactly what i say to people face to face and it has a completely different response then. i guess it is very much the tone of voice, facial expressions and gestures which are missing in the written format, that makes the difference.

Nicebutmeangirl, i did explain later on that i am not expecting a robot. i did not get to be 45 and not know that all people are human.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 7:23:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nequam
Nicebutmeangirl, i did explain later on that i am not expecting a robot. i did not get to be 45 and not know that all people are human.

Frankly, Nequam, I think you're better off assuming, by default, that *all* dominants are at least a bit unhinged. It makes life a lot easier to get through if one takes that as a starting point. As a sub, I know for damned certain that I'm a bit nutty - all I expect is that my dominant partner be nutty in a reciprocal way.

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 9:12:03 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Frankly, Nequam, I think you're better off assuming, by default, that *all* dominants are at least a bit unhinged. It makes life a lot easier to get through if one takes that as a starting point. As a sub, I know for damned certain that I'm a bit nutty - all I expect is that my dominant partner be nutty in a reciprocal way.

lol

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/8/2012 9:23:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

As a sub, I know for damned certain that I'm a bit nutty - all I expect is that my dominant partner be nutty in a reciprocal way.

I think you and Alfie would make such a nice couple, and you could always submissively righten his ear ;)

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/9/2012 2:31:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I think you and Alfie would make such a nice couple, and you could always submissively righten his ear ;)

OK, Lady C, you've now mentioned your thoughts involving your dogs and myself quite a few times. Should we move to discussing my fees for whatever it is is on your mind?

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/9/2012 2:51:33 PM

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Oh you want to be their bitch ;) Always knew you were a slut at heart...

To be honest, I just found it so funny how much it disturbed you when his ear flopped over backwards and how you always rightened it and how with a gormless look he ran off again (or rather bounced off) and the ear flipped back... You were such a diligent ear rightener.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/9/2012 2:57:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh you want to be their bitch ;) Always knew you were a slut at heart...

To be honest, I just found it so funny how much it disturbed you when his ear flopped over backwards and how you always rightened it and how with a gormless look he ran off again (or rather bounced off) and the ear flipped back... You were such a diligent ear rightener.

Damned right. With his ear bent back, it looked like an anus. I do *not* want to be stroking the wrong end of a Doberman. ;-)

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/9/2012 3:05:00 PM

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Which one would be the wrong end? The one with the big teeth or the one that gasses you?

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/9/2012 3:28:22 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Which one would be the wrong end? The one with the big teeth or the one that gasses you?

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/10/2012 8:02:13 PM

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I find it a bit creepy when guys view your profile over and over again and never say anything and then add you to their favorite list or send s friends request w/o saying anything

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RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/11/2012 6:33:42 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMeltz

I find it a bit creepy when guys view your profile over and over again and never say anything and then add you to their favorite list or send s friends request w/o saying anything

I only viewed your profile 43 times. That's not "over and over again".

I'm removing you from my favorites list. How do you like that?

(in reply to MistressMeltz)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/11/2012 8:29:56 AM

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Roch, I feel so left out now... Are you trying to humiliate the rest of us, best not send us a big bill!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/11/2012 10:03:00 AM

forcedsensuality

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What did anyone think of my post on page 2 about taking domme power position while meeting up, participating in message boards etc. ?

eg recently i messaged a domme, who merely replied that i'd not used the right honorific. Her profile was full of instructions about how to approach her but did NOT include any "her royal highness" stuff.

I messaged back, explained there'd been a misunderstanding, pointed out what she HAD asked for in her profile, tried to get a discussion going, .." how would you like me to communicate the" etc.

She ignored seven messages to that effect and then blocked me.

I mean it was just sloppy and dumb and beneath the most basic levels of civility, community norms, internet norms.. she was making up the rules as she went along, assuming that "I'm always right" position off the bat, and then .. oh yeah, ignores my messages and then blocks me ..

What a spineless, unilateral cop out ..

should i have said:
"Let's meet in the meat packaging area at midnight your royal highness ,.. i'd prefer to be in the kosher bull pen for max testosterone in the enforced beast/bi if we stay the night, .. and now, please accept my tongue, which i cut out and present as a symbol of good faith (i promise to shut up from now on, oh great pig's head).. the card in my pocket is a surgeon friend who'll lobotomize me .. but he wants to see your head scars .. he intends for us to be completely symmetrical .. don't worry, he thought you'd want me done without pain meds and says doing the tongue first brings scream volume down but i'll still have that "something the cat dragged in" weird purr, which he'd like to record for his collection, if you don't mind"

sorry, topping from below, another rule broken, but what the hey, i've already been banished from her pigs-on-two-legs kingdom, .. a pity, she really did in that brief communication/ decree/ slice between cake make me feel so much LESS equal than her, .. natural authority, you think so ?

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: What Bugs You Re: Dommes & What Do You Like? - 5/11/2012 10:10:01 AM

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People who have all those rules for saying hello are idiots. Why waste time on them?

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