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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:38:13 PM

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The op is married, whether to the submissive/slave he is talking about or not, we cannot know. Whether they are married or not, he went into debt by buying her a car. That suggests that he was okay within the agreement they had, her moving in at some point or being there when he bought the place, not working at the moment and he based his line of credit on it. He took it seriously enough to go into debt, however long they were together or what their relationship was.

Now... he wants to travel... but... shit... that submissive bitch I tried to let loose, won't go. He comes in complaining and running, rather than man up here on the thread he started. It isn't a leap for me to assume... he is trying to bail on her too. Whether she was wise or unwise... I am sure this situation, being scared of what is going to happen next, she may realize the mistake and is hurt and losing it, but will see the light of day... once she gets through the results.

So coming here to blame this submissive cutter that just won't go away... was more a pitiful, whining dom that needs to man up and solve the situation in a manner they both can learn a lesson with and survive.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 7:16:17 PM

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she's cutting herself because you ended the relationship? Drive her to the ER and have her committed. Seriously. She needs help.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 12:12:20 AM

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And several hours later... How is she and you?

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 8:10:44 AM

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This is not a puppy that you got at the pound because you thought it was cute and when it got bigger ceased to be cute and so you want to bring it back to the pound.

This is a person.
You treat her like a human being with dignity and respect and you apologise for this terrible position you put her in.

You should have thought about the "What ifs" and "What nows" long before you ever got involved with anyone and especially before you made her your slave.
You should have had plans in place before you moved her in and you should have had contingency funds set aside for this "in case".

So, this is your mess.

This is yours to fix.

A car is not a good place to live.

You get her set up and stable, perhaps in another location where she might have some built in supports such as family or friends.
You get her into counseling.
You get her into vocational counseling.

In other words: you do the right thing.

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(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 9:42:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
As far as the "you moved her in with no income, therefor you are now responsible for her" tone going on here, what about some personal responsibility? She CHOSE not to work, she CHOSE to not have other places to go. That is all 100% on HER, not him. It is HER life and those were HER choices, therefor HER responsibility as an adult.

I think that's a valid viewpoint but it is dependent on what we mean when we say "slave". For me, it always gets down to the same thing. I accepted full authority and full responsibility. If I later felt that choice was unwise, it doesn't relieve me of my obligation. The buck stops here. I think when "slave" is used in other ways then your viewpoint makes the most sense.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 9:56:48 AM

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I never understand people who don't know how to treat each other like human beings at the end of a relationship.

Is there a particular reason why this person couldn't stay with you until she got on her feet? Can this person sleep on your couch while she looks for a job?

Here's My better question. Why didn't you, as a responsible human being, plan for an exit strategy if things didn't work out? See, that's the kind of thing that you do before you move somebody into your house. If you didn't have the foresight to figure that out, you really did take responsibility for the outcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu
My first answer is they are slave, take them to the nearest bus stop and kick them to the curb.

Dude, this is by far the most screwed up thing I have read on the net today. I don't have the words for the level of "asshole" this statement conjures up.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 10:04:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
As far as the "you moved her in with no income, therefor you are now responsible for her" tone going on here, what about some personal responsibility? She CHOSE not to work, she CHOSE to not have other places to go. That is all 100% on HER, not him. It is HER life and those were HER choices, therefor HER responsibility as an adult.

I think that's a valid viewpoint but it is dependent on what we mean when we say "slave". For me, it always gets down to the same thing. I accepted full authority and full responsibility. If I later felt that choice was unwise, it doesn't relieve me of my obligation. The buck stops here. I think when "slave" is used in other ways then your viewpoint makes the most sense.

I agree. I chose to enter into slavery with the Mister, based on who he showed me he is and the commitments he made to me. From there, all the final decisions are his. Now, we do actually talk about big ticket decisions such as when to move in together and what expectations that comes with ( such as working or not working, etc), and I realize not every M/s relationship has that option.

Thing is, we don't know what git them to this place, so any assumption made about it is just that - an assumption.

In any case, I hope they can work out a reasonable parting.

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(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 11:12:02 AM

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To me, the Master(Mistress)/slave contract is a lifetime FAMILY agreement. Don't get me wrong, this does not mean the slave must live with the Master, or always belong to the Master, it means that both parties have some responsibility toward one another until death.

My boykin knows should he ever need me for anything, I am there, for the rest of his life. For the rest of his life he and I will have some sort of relationship. He's reaching an age, at some point he might not be able to serve me in the ways he does now. That doesn't mean a thing in terms of MY responsibilities to HIM. It's an emotional responsibility I took on that I don't get to wash my hands and be done with, unless he would do something so reprehensible I had no choice. And frankly, I am not worried about that. I chose well.

Although a slave may be released, the Master always has a responsibility toward that person (JMO). It is not unlike the relationship between parent and child. You know? Home is where, when you have no where else to go, they have to take you in. B/c it's FAMILY.

So no, you don't just get to wave your hands and your no longer wanted slave disappears. So sorry.

Unfortunately, given the tenor of the OP's post, I seriously doubt he will step up to the plate at this late date and own up to his responsibilities. This entire thread makes me sad that so many don't seem to understand how serious it is to enter into a M/s relationship.

Again, JMO, YMMV and all that crap.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 12:24:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

No. A slave is someone who has a deep psychological - and probably social - dependence upon you. No reasonable human being can just toss them out without making provision for their return to a life without you.

Given that... like... you're the fucking Master .... you have to manage that transition in both physical, psychological, social and financial terms. You can't just get ride of her, you have a responsibility to ensure she returns to a life as good as - preferably better - than the one she had before becoming your slave.

Christ, this is why I believe 98% of 'Masters' are fucking frauds. The mind truly boggles.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 12:25:36 PM

tj444

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**cringe**

and this boys and girls is why there are so few slaves and the ones that are free are very picky (or dam well should be!)..

As someone who was a slave for a short time and quickly came to my senses and never ever will be that again.. men like this or that other dude that wants references or the multitude of other moron "Masters" out there that email/spam me.. get immediately blocked...

Now watch,... I just bet.. after he has banished her,.. in a few months of fruitless searching for her replacement, he will be back posting and whining about how he cant find any real slaves/subs and there are so many "fakes!"..

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(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/26/2012 6:20:27 PM

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Well sorry, i moved in, agreed the no work. somewhere in that gap my son and his partner got offered a home. so all my stuff went out of storage to them.

I was left starting again. i did it and didnt expect my by then ex dom to provide me with anything.

We makes are choices and live with them.

(in reply to tj444)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/27/2012 9:41:36 AM

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frazzle,

Not all would expect someone to give the submissive no longer wanted for whatever reason... everything, but time to sort things out would be the mature and nice person thing to do. The op is expecting her to just go... He didn't clarify much of anything other than his complaint and pointing a finger at her... the one he found worthy of taking into his home and buying a car for on credit. Therefore he opens the door for people to think that he is whining and not resolving what he started with any amount of decency toward someone he 'fucked' and thought so much of at one time. When that happens, it is understandable that people might word things or feel strongly about the use of a slave one wishes to release without any accountability.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 4/27/2012 9:42:41 AM >

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/27/2012 10:25:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Not all would expect someone to give the submissive no longer wanted for whatever reason... everything, but time to sort things out would be the mature and nice person thing to do.

Exactly, this is a human being you're talking about. It's the decent thing to do.

But, I absolutely think that if you're going to be the Dominant and have a submissive relocate to you and that submissive does not work.....it is your responsibility to make sure that an exit strategy is in place before that submissive even relocates.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/27/2012 10:40:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Not all would expect someone to give the submissive no longer wanted for whatever reason... everything, but time to sort things out would be the mature and nice person thing to do.

Exactly, this is a human being you're talking about. It's the decent thing to do.

But, I absolutely think that if you're going to be the Dominant and have a submissive relocate to you and that submissive does not work.....it is your responsibility to make sure that an exit strategy is in place before that submissive even relocates.

I agree with you big time! I am one that will sometimes take some risks for various reasons. I sum up a situation and decide whether it is worth the risk, thinking of all I could imagine happening. I have paid for these risks I have taken and I have been lucky and not paid for taking them. I walk in thinking thoroughly and prepared. I even discuss this with whomever I am taking a risk with.

If it doesn't work out... this is the plan. We may not even need a lot of detail to that plan as it is situational, but there is a plan.

I am living out that plan as I type. lol It didn't work out. We are being adult... giving things time, no one is getting hurt and there has been no drama. Would we each like to be free of the situation? lol Yes... but we walked in and both need to walk out without any real harm. We recognize why we did what we did and still believe we did so with good reason and intention. We are very glad we did it as we did. Neither was or has been treated as if they don't matter and deserve to be treated with anything but respect.

There is no perfect way to do things or perfect people. Its a matter of taking the imperfect and making it work out so that you can continue to live your truth, allow someone else to live their truth and cause no harm to either.

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(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/27/2012 1:29:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

Yeah, I had something like that happen to me once. It's very frustrating. I mean, you put your trash out by the curb. You dust your hands and expect it to be collected. And damn if it isn't back on your stoop the next morning. Very mysterious. The only thing that finally worked for me was some concoction a Voodoo woman mixed up for me to put around the house.

Oh, wait... you're talking about a fucking human being??

K.

(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/28/2012 5:38:43 AM

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Ultimately, having no idea about either person, how the relationship started, how long it lasted.. and who they were prior to it.. I really can't give any specific advice to this situation.. BUT... I'd like to echo what Lady Pact said...

EXIT STRATEGY... if you move someone you don't know into your house, (or you move into someone's house)...make sure you have a strategy if it all goes wrong...

if you're LD and you decide to get it together... then get your own place, your own job.. and then so how it goes...

I'm making a WHOLE lot of assumptions..but here's a guess... woman of few means and a life that isn't working..meets someone online.. sounds good... I'm giving up what little I have here..moving in with him (because I don't work,or I'm unemployable) ... the fantasy for both of them sounds good... the reality.. not so much... he realizes that aperson without a life or job where they used to live is still a person without a life and job in his house... she's threatened with being homeless and destitute... of course she's going to cut herself if that's how she copes... others might drink.. or do drugs..or get lost in something else to take away the pain and problems...

HUGE HUGE assumptions on my part... but things like this happen a lot...

and...she's a person.. you need to take care of her... maybe not everyone needs what she might...but ultimately, as callous as itsounds..you bought it... you need to take care of it..until she can care for herself... particularly if I'm right about any of the assumptions I made... you allowed her into your home..

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 4/28/2012 5:42:40 AM >

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/28/2012 6:30:08 AM

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LOLOL... perfect Kirata. This forum needs a "like" button.

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officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Kirata)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/28/2012 2:54:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

Yeah, I had something like that happen to me once. It's very frustrating. I mean, you put your trash out by the curb. You dust your hands and expect it to be collected. And damn if it isn't back on your stoop the next morning. Very mysterious. The only thing that finally worked for me was some concoction a Voodoo woman mixed up for me to put around the house.

Oh, wait... you're talking about a fucking human being??

K.

THIS.

People have given you great advice, though it appears you have wandered away, not even bothering to listen.

tl;dr
Man the fuck up.

(in reply to Kirata)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 11:33:53 AM

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thanks for the responses--to answer a few questions we have been together for 20 years she has developed mental issues and is taking hands full of pills per day as perscribed by her doctor-unable to do anything due to depression and bipolar (doc says) i cook work and laundry.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 11:57:40 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

thanks for the responses--to answer a few questions we have been together for 20 years she has developed mental issues and is taking hands full of pills per day as perscribed by her doctor-unable to do anything due to depression and bipolar (doc says) i cook work and laundry.

Oh yes, this makes it much understandable

After 20 years with you, where would she have to go? In all of that time with you she got a car out of it and that's it? So it seems that she IS mentally unstable and you'd like her out of your life, how does that work exactly? 20 years means she gave you the prime of her life, how is she supposed to just pack up and move on with a mental illness to boot?

Your attitude here seems to be one of not really believing the reality of her situation, you seem to feel put upon, if her doctor has prescribed her pills then it seems to me that she has a real condition that needs to be treated. So you do the cooking, you work, and you do the laundry....so fucking what?

You want to know how to get her out, here's the bigger question- how do you expect a mentally ill person who was with you for
20 years and doesn't seem to have anything of her own except for a car, to actually leave your home successfully and carry on with her life? She's got no job skills, no money, she's ill, she's no longer young, and you just expect her to be able to go? WTF is wrong with you?

(in reply to travelen11)

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