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RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 12:13:13 PM

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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He could try giving her a supportive environment where she could thrive. Course, if he was capable of that, maybe she wouldn't be so depressed and off kilter. BTW: Where is your wife in all this?

Or is she (the slave you wish to release) your WIFE?

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 4/29/2012 12:14:45 PM >

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(in reply to lizi)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 3:46:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

thanks for the responses--to answer a few questions we have been together for 20 years she has developed mental issues and is taking hands full of pills per day as perscribed by her doctor-unable to do anything due to depression and bipolar (doc says) i cook work and laundry.

Oh yes, this makes it much understandable

After 20 years with you, where would she have to go? In all of that time with you she got a car out of it and that's it? So it seems that she IS mentally unstable and you'd like her out of your life, how does that work exactly? 20 years means she gave you the prime of her life, how is she supposed to just pack up and move on with a mental illness to boot?

Your attitude here seems to be one of not really believing the reality of her situation, you seem to feel put upon, if her doctor has prescribed her pills then it seems to me that she has a real condition that needs to be treated. So you do the cooking, you work, and you do the laundry....so fucking what?

You want to know how to get her out, here's the bigger question- how do you expect a mentally ill person who was with you for
20 years and doesn't seem to have anything of her own except for a car, to actually leave your home successfully and carry on with her life? She's got no job skills, no money, she's ill, she's no longer young, and you just expect her to be able to go? WTF is wrong with you?

I am sure that the initial bit of releasing her helped a lot:

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

To the OP: in addition to medications: is your wife/slave in counseling?

I suffer from depression.
My Master doesn't just ignore me.

I take my medications, go to counseling and know that I am still His and still valuable to Him regardless of the fact that I have depression.

I am not just a fun play-thing.

If your marriage isn't working because you can't handle your wife's mental illness then you discuss it with her mental health providers, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.
You give us a one sentence post and leave out very important information.

Each of your additional posts don't fill in much of what is missing in a way that would really adequately help you or her.

Your posts here express nothing but subtle contempt for the woman who you say is your slave and is probably your wife:

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

Perhaps her mental health providers can arrange suitable and safe housing for her.
It doesn't seem like being with you is doing her any favors.

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(in reply to lizi)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 4:25:14 PM

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Wait a fucking minute!!! You mean that you have spent 20 years with this slave, conditioning and training them. They have some medical issues, and some pretty severe ones at that, and you want to know how to just get rid of her? Damn am I glad I am familiar with the guidelines, or the scathing commentary would likely get me those gold letter I have been reading about. So I will take a more practical approach:

1) You have an obligation and duty of care. Man up and do it. If she is cutting herself with the issues you described, she likely needs some more intensive care. Get her that care. YOU fucking owe it as a duty to having owned this person for so long.

2) Once you are done with that, DO NOT LOOK FOR ANOTHER SLAVE. At least until you are retrospective and introspective of what has happened.

If she has these type of severe medical issues, help her also get the disability she likely qualifies for.

Jesus fucking christ, this is why I say most people are not suited to own another person, much less even a pet (animal). You should not have to come to a forum to ask that.

Now I was in a similar situation but not for that length of time. I sent her to family, actually I had to force her to leave, and contacted the family about the issues. She had the means and place to go elsewhere, but as much as I considered her a psycho, I would never have just kicked her to the curb with the mental issues she had.

Now get off the fucking computer and go do it!

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

thanks for the responses--to answer a few questions we have been together for 20 years she has developed mental issues and is taking hands full of pills per day as perscribed by her doctor-unable to do anything due to depression and bipolar (doc says) i cook work and laundry.

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(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 5:04:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

thanks for the responses--to answer a few questions we have been together for 20 years she has developed mental issues and is taking hands full of pills per day as perscribed by her doctor-unable to do anything due to depression and bipolar (doc says) i cook work and laundry.

I can understand that mental health issues in a partner can be very daunting, but after 20 years together you should at least be even more concerned about making sure that she will be okay outside of your relationship.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 9:58:03 PM

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we are not married-she was a bar maid when we met-i offered to give her this house and continue paying on the car,she says no that she will go with me (travel for work--) lots of motels ,granted everything pertaining to work is paid for (per deim),but is not a life for her as i will not take her to functions as she has developed bipolar something and the doctors keep her doped up on a hand full of pills per day,that render her usless for even the simplest of tasks.
anyway i was just looking for advice from someone in this type of situation and results--

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/29/2012 11:23:58 PM

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well thanks for the info!! - 45 posts into the thread - fuckin A //// EYE ROLL

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(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 4/30/2012 6:49:33 AM

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Talk to her doctor about her meds. I know several people who are bipolar without being "useless" so perhaps that needs to be worked on further.
If you must leave then let her doctors know about her cutting and hire a caretaker for her.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/30/2012 3:11:18 PM

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I call bullshit. I know not one person who has been in a long term relationship that doesnt know exactly what medical conditions thier partners have. What medicines they have to take, what medicines they CAN'T take, and what to do in an emergency situation. If you have been with someone for twenty years and can't even relate the name of her disorder, you are full of shit.

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/1/2012 1:42:27 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave?

Take 'em to the pound -- but be prepared to pay a fine if their tags aren't current.

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/1/2012 2:21:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

i offered to give her this house and continue paying on the car

Well damn, credit where due that's a pretty good offer. You'd have taken a lot less shit if you'd said that in the first place. Makes me wonder what other information we're missing.

K.

(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 5/1/2012 2:54:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

we are not married-she was a bar maid when we met-i offered to give her this house and continue paying on the car,she says no that she will go with me (travel for work--) lots of motels ,granted everything pertaining to work is paid for (per deim),but is not a life for her as i will not take her to functions as she has developed bipolar something and the doctors keep her doped up on a hand full of pills per day,that render her usless for even the simplest of tasks.
anyway i was just looking for advice from someone in this type of situation and results--

What makes it not a life for her is that is is hard to have good continuity of medical care.

Bi-polar is a medical condition.
Most people who are treated for their "bipolar something" are on medication but actually do function.
And because you keep referring to it as bipolar something, I get the feeling you really don't care much what is going on with her.

The right medication, at the right dosage with the right kind of counseling, there is no reason why she can't function and flourish.
But that means finding the right doctors and taking her to appointments and being patient through medication adjustments.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to travelen11)

RE: releasing a slave - 5/1/2012 3:43:26 AM

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You are talking long term relationships where the people actually care about one another. In that instance, of course they know about each other's medical issues and are supportive.

The OP's level of "I don't give a shit" reminds me of my ex-husband. (I think the man loved me, but he didn't CARE about me.)

And this man does not care about his slave, this is obvious from his responses. I *strongly* suspect he has made this woman dependent on him, then pulled his guidance away and let her flounder, then picked her back up and continued this dance for many years. At this point by his own admissions she is incapable of leaving him. Which tells me he managed to break her, and did nothing to put her back together. And now she's so dependent she's on a bunch of medication and a pain in the ass. And he'd like to dump her.

You made this mess, OP, only you can fix it. Get her into in-patient care. Honestly explain to them the situation with her. After 20 years, you owe her that much.

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/1/2012 7:27:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

And because you keep referring to it as bipolar something, I get the feeling you really don't care much what is going on with her.

Yup, the only thing he cares about is how it's infringing on him.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 12:27:58 PM

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

I like the way some of the posters are blaming YOU. i assume she is over the age of 18. She got herself into this mess she can get herself out! Doorslam you are not responsible for anyone one elses actions

BadOne

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 1:05:33 PM

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In the end we will never know the full story. There are three parts to each story, his, hers and the truth.

If he needs to man up, than she needs to woman up. In the end your responsible for yourself, I don't care if your the best slave/sub in the world. Cutting herself only proves she isn't emotionally stable, and don't need to be in any relationship. She needs to work on herself.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 1:31:42 PM

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The interesting debate here is whether her instability is a result of his treatment of her over the last 20 years, and whether he should be held accountable for the part he played in her eventual break. Should we be allowed to indiscriminately and selfishly throw our "toys" out after breaking them willy-nilly?

It is still unclear what kind of relationship they had-- was he actually a Master and she a slave or was he merely a top and her his bottoming mistress?

(in reply to girl91)

RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 1:42:55 PM

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So you are saying that if you were married to the same man for 20 years and developed an emotional imbalance, the relationship should end? wow!

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 1:57:10 PM

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Sorry, SB, we are going to have to disagree on this one. Once you have lived with someone for 20 years, there are many co-dependency issues (not all of them negative). But I know from experience that after that length of time, you don't kick someone to the curb and walk away.

Yes, we are all responsible for ourselves, I give you that, but to go from slave to not slave is hugely difficult. It was for me, and I am no slouch in the independence and ego department.

The OP has the additional and very important consideration of his slave's mental health. She is on numerous meds, is cutting herself, she clearly needs professional help.

My man is a diabetic, should I kick him to the curb if his disease gets so bad he can't take the trash out any more?

I strongly suspect this woman has never lived successfully on her own, and if he is not going to help her do that (and I don't think he will/can) the least he can do is get her some help so she can learn how to help herself. She's a potential suicide in the making.

How would you like to have that on your conscious?

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 2:09:45 PM

fucktoyprincess

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Okay. Lots of good advice here already. To those of you reading this thread, regardless of what role you like to be in (Dominant, submissive, Master, slave, etc.), let this be a reminder to EACH and EVERY one of you, that when you enter into any kind of relationship with someone where you give up your financial independence, or make someone financially dependent on you, you must each think about what will happen if the relationship does not work out. If you are legally married, state laws help you sort out the aftermath. But if you are not legally married, then you should absolutely discuss some of this up front.

I just want to say, and I know it sounds harsh, but any man or woman who would become financially dependent on someone without understanding what their rights might be when things don't work out is being STUPID, or is MENTALLY INCAPABLE of entering into such a dependency to begin with. Which raises a question for the Dominants/Masters in the crowd. If a submissive /slave agrees to be financially dependent on you without asking you what happens down the line - you can count on the fact that they are either stupid, or mentally incapacitated in some way, shape or form. In which case SHAME on you for taking advantage of them.

I believe in personal responsibility. And I also believe in people not taking advantage of other people's ignorance or mental issues.

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RE: releasing a slave - 5/2/2012 2:19:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
Which raises a question for the Dominants/Masters in the crowd. If a submissive /slave agrees to be financially dependent on you without asking you what happens down the line - you can count on the fact that they are either stupid, or mentally incapacitated in some way, shape or form.

I disagree on this point, even if stupid includes "overly trusting of the Dom/me", or "believe the commitment and arrangement to last forever". I uphold the view that it is the Dom/me's responsibility to cover the "what happens if things change or don't work out" discussion, not the sub/slave's; just as it is the Dom/me's responsibility to look after the slave's well-being in general, and to say "stop, you've had enough" as is appropriate.

(in reply to fucktoyprincess)

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