kalikshama
Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010 Status: offline
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Chocolate, glaceau mineral water and salted nuts while cuddling works for me. I've skipped this, driven, and definitely been impaired. http://chicomunch.com/publ/basic_info_about_bdsm/bdsm_101_subspace_aftercare_and_sub_drop_and_sometimes_top_drop/1-1-0-23 AFTERCARE As a general rule, play in a public dungeon tends to be less intense than private play. This is especially true if the play is casual (established during the party, rather than between existing partners). Even existing partners will often fail to push as many boundaries in public play as they will in private. So people in the lifestyle who are playing privately probably have a greater need to establish rituals of aftercare that fit their exact needs. In public dungeons, aftercare is usually oriented towards recognizing the immediate physical needs of subs who have been playing. Because the sub's body has been undergoing exertion, body temperature frequently drops sharply after play. This may require having a blanket or a robe for warmth as the sub can sometimes become chilly to the point of shivering, even if fully clothed. The sub may feel unsteady on their feet (sometimes barely able to move without assistance) necessitating a comfy place where they can sit or lie down and experience gentle contact and physical comfort for a period after play. Their cognitive functioning may be impaired (slow or disjointed) for a while after play. Food or drink after play can be important: Water or sports-type drinks to re-hydrate, or juice to provide simple sugars. Eating some chocolate after play is recommended by some, as the opiate and cannabinoid effects of chocolate are similar to those of subspace, allowing a more gradual transition, and chocolate also contains several stimulants that can make mental processes feel more alert. It is important to know that it is unwise to engage in heavy play (especially as a sub) and then drive too soon afterwards, as one might be far more "under the influence" due to subspace than if one were at the current legal limit for alcohol. Aftercare, at it's most basic, simply involves the willingness to continue being there with your play partner for a sufficient time period that they can feel safe, regain their emotional equilibrium, and no longer feel the need to cling to you. It is equally important to recognize that aftercare is for both the Top and bottom, Dominant and submissive. If either person leaves too soon, then their partner may feel abandonment or loss far exceeding the the obvious dimensions of the scene. It is a good idea to have a network of kinky friends whom you can talk to if you find that you need to -- one of the reasons that FetLife's community is important. As a Top, it is often important to make sure that the sub you play with knows how to get in contact with you, so that if they need later reassurance, it can be provided. Continuing to help the transition, especially if going home alone after play, some people find that assembling "aftercare supplies" helps them continue to land gently after they arrive home. Relaxing music, comfort objects, scented candles, bubble baths, favorite books or movies, incense, and other forms of self-pampering serve to continue to remind people that they are special and cared for, allowing them to bask in the gradually fading fires of their flight into subspace.
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