quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
... and with what bait. I can imagine that when I go to my first play party if I wanted some female dominant to play with me and what I was offering was... well... and endless tank of "need" then it'd be really tough. As it is, I'd be willing to bet that I can walk in and get my choice of women who'd be happy to top me. I have local friends in the community. They like us. Their friends, by extension, like us. Some of those friends are tops/dommes. All of them will be thrilled to see Carol and I show up and be happy to help us engage in whatever ways we found fun & interesting. That's my guess anyway and it works that way because of the actual relationships involved.

Or, failing all that, I could always meet you somewhere and give you another chance to beat my ass *laughs*.

Any time you're ready to see what the other side is like, I'll be more than happy to take that bottoming cherry.

Which is really part of the point of My earlier comments. What a lot of male bottoms don't seem to understand is the fact that you honestly can get your feet wet through friends. It's not a guarantee that it's going to be sexual, (My casual scenes are not) but if you want to experience a few things, a flogging, bondage, wax, etc, it is entirely possible to do those things through local venues. A lot of people make the assumption that they won't get to play because they went that first time, they didn't attempt making friends or talking to anybody, and then think that nobody will play with them EVER.

We had a great thread a while back about the practical advice people had for folks attending their first munch. That they have to be a bit proactive in getting to know people. Maybe we should do that again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

We used to have a Domme on these boards who I had the privilege of knowing personally. I was also acquainted with two of her gentlemen that were happy to turn their finances over to her. In My opinion, anyone who would meet these folks, hear what the kink means to them, would understand it better.

Do I believe these folks and their feelings about it are the majority? No. However, knowing it's out there tells Me that I have to consider it a legitimate kink.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

18yo girls with a bitch princess complex
sticking their hand out for free cash are
not a kink in my opinion. They Are a
Joke.

Maybe we should have a revolution in the
way we refer to these girls that "want pay
pigs to worship their perfect ass with cash"

Maybe we could call them pig farmers!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
they went that first time, they didn't attempt making friends or talking to anybody, and then think that nobody will play with them EVER.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

In some cases,financial domination can also be considered a form of panhandling"begging for money".Homeless people are well known for doing that too,begging for change.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

In some cases,financial domination can also be considered a form of "begging for money".Homeless people are well known for doing that too,begging for change.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I do think in some cases it is a form of D/s. There are some here that I believe are dominant and have a dynamic.

But, I think the majority of so-called "Dommes" in this field aren't. They have no idea what it means to be dominant (nor do I think they care) and they equate being dominant with being a bitchy twat. They're just a bunch "women" that have discovered that some guys are desperate enough to buy them gifts and pay their bills.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
But I also don't think that enough people give credit to the "fakes" and "scammers". The pool of subs willing to pay would quickly dry up if they weren't getting something from the transaction. So there must be subs out there who enjoy giving their money to financial Dommes who aren't very skilled, and who give little in return for the client's money. It's a hard idea to fathom, but the industry would die if there weren't people patronizing the unskilled financial Dommes. After all, if they weren't making money, wouldn't all of the financial Dommes simply disappear?

I have a couple of FinDomme blogs that I read when I need a laugh. From what I'm seeing, most subs don't stick with them for very long. It looks like they jump from unskilled woman to unskilled woman looking for a better experience.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

This isn't really a question that I'm asking. It's actually an answer that I posted to the above question in a thread that got deleted. Fortunately, the Admin was kind enough to send me a copy of my response after she deleted the thread. I know that there is a new financial domination thread on CM just about every week. But I took a bit of time writing the response, so I wanted to share it. I think it may provide new insight to some who have closed minds when it comes to financial domination.

We see many threads on CM that deride financial Dommes. They're often called everything from "fakes", to "prostitutes". And in the deleted thread that I referenced above, someone even stated that financial domination isn't even a legitimate arm of kink/BDSM, and that it doesn't belong on CM. I couldn't disagree with that sentiment more, so here is my response to that assertion.

Financial domination IS a legitimate form of kink/BDSM.

Many lifestyle Doms/Dommes also control the finances of their subs/slaves. Some may do this in a benevolent way, with the focus being on helping their sub to manage their money better. Others may require that their subs/slaves pay for dates and other things (but is this really different from the societal norm that says that the man should pay?). Others may require a tribute, tithe, or other regular payment from their subs/slaves.

From the submissives' standpoint, this can give them feelings of power exchange. The financial Domme is in charge of their money, and the financial sub has no control over her spending. Whether you like it or not, that IS a legitimate form of power exchange.

Other financial subs view it more as a form of humiliation. The financial Domme frivolously spends his money, and then laughs at him for allowing her to do so.

Some financial subs/slaves also enjoy the added component of being blackmailed for their money. This is an extreme form of humiliation that also incorporates fear of public exposure.

Then there are those who feel like their money is granting them access to a beautiful woman who they'd never have access to otherwise. To them, paying "tribute" is the normal path to gaining access to a Domme. Whether it's on-line or in real time, their expectation is that they have to pull out their wallet in order to be granted access. This mindset is most similar to the traditional "John" who visits prostitutes. But because he's not paying for sex, she isn't a prostitute (even though some people on here persist in calling pro Dommes and financial Dommes "prostitutes").

And of course there are the pro Dommes, who I believe provide a needed and valuable service to the BDSM community. There are far too many male subs, and far too few Dommes. Were it not for the pro Dommes, most male subs would never get to realize their submission dreams. While pro Dommes and financial Dommes are different, some insist upon lumping them into the same category.

I think that the problems arise because so many scammers have realized that there is an opportunity to take advantage of people, and they've entered the fray. These individuals have no knowledge or experience with D/s or BDSM. All they know is that they can get total strangers to send them money simply by posting hot pictures on the internet. They usually never meet with anyone in "real life", and their BDSM persona exists exclusively on the internet. They provide little D/s interaction with their "clients" other than to demand more stuff. In most instances, the photos that they include in their profile to attract "customers" are not even of themselves. Instead, they typically steal pictures from modeling agency websites. In my opinion, it is THESE people who have given financial domination a bad name. They have no background or knowledge that they are bringing to the transaction. They have no skill at dominating. All they have is greed. So the "financial sub" is not likely to get their money's worth.

This group is clearly setting a bad example in the BDSM community. We'd probably be better off without them (IMHO). But that doesn't change the fact that financial domination IS a legitimate form of kink/BDSM, and many "twue" Doms/Dommes incorporate it into their dynamic.

Any thoughts or rebuttals?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
LadyPact,
Thank you for sharing that example. It is just that type of example that we almost never hear about in these forums. Instead, we seem to only talk about the 19-year old findoms who are holding a wad of cash in one hand, and giving viewers the bird with the other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
What? Did you miss out down at Merc & Beth's? I couldn't quite remember who whacked me there or with what. All I remember is being devoutly grateful for that doe skin flogger that couldn't hurt anyone no matter how hard you tried... perfect newbie weapon of choice.

No, no, Dear. I know you're not big on the BDSM terms, so I'll help you out a bit. What you got to experience is not what we call bottoming. That's called seeing what a toy feels like so you get to try it out. Bottoming is a bit different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingincalif
1. I've seen lots of profiles on CM of women asking men to simply send them money, and occasionally a woman posts a thread asking how to get a man to pay her. A large percentage of them are obviously fake.
2. I have never encountered a man on a thread here who ever said he had paid a financial domme or was interested in that.
3. It's hard to get interested in discussions like this which profess to speak for some "generic" subs who are supposedly into this but have never spoken about it.
4. If financial domination is your personal interest, I'd be interested in your perspective; if you're just generically pontifcating about these other subs who have never said a peep about this here, it's kind of a yawnfest for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple

As far as the princess thing goes.
Princesses are just found amongst
dommes. There are princess subs
who are looking for a daddy. A sugar
daddy to pay her rent and buy her a
car. He gets access she get rewarded.
Fin dommes in sheeps clothing.

quote:


And though fin and pro dommes
aren't per se prostitutes I do
consider them sex workers like
pso's, cam girls and strippers.
I think that's a perfectly legit
way to earn a living. And sex workers
earn their paychecks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbingincalif

2. I have never encountered a man on a thread here who ever said he had paid a financial domme or was interested in that.
3. It's hard to get interested in discussions like this which profess to speak for some "generic" subs who are supposedly into this but have never spoken about it.

quote:



7. If someone gets scammed here, it's his own fault.