RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 10:32:37 AM

JeffBC

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Is there really much of a "debate" to be had here? Some people are making financial payments a mandatory part of their relationships. Some other people have an issue with that -- either because the relationship doesn't look "real" or else the dominance doesn't. Some people insist that there must surely be a one true way if only we'd all come to our senses and just admit the obvious.

I'm not a fin-anything but I DO have a dog in this fight. I'm pretty much against one-true-wayism when it comes to sexuality and relationships..

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 10:41:12 AM

TNDommeK

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Agreed. Everyone is different, everyone runs,or gets run, a different way.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 10:55:49 AM

MariaB

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As for what constitutes ‘a legitimate form of D/s ‘ ? well for me, both parties have to be getting something out of the D/s dynamic that draws them closer to that person. If that’s money then so be it. He gets something out of giving, she gets something out of receiving and I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I just don’t though, see any difference between a Fin Domme and a pro Domme. By definition the pro Domme is a pro because she receives money and gifts, the Fin Domme is a pro because she also receives money and gifts. Monopoly money just wouldn’t work and neither would giving all the money back at the end of the week. I don’t believe that Dommes who are in charge of the mans finances (on a one to one rl basis) and who make sure he saves, pays his bills etc, etc, are financial Dommes unless they are taking a slice.

Bossing people around Jeff, especially at work or on forums, isn’t D/s unless you specifically make it that but to do so, surely you need a willing submissive? D/s is after all, a consensual act between two or more people?

I agree with you SeekingTrinity, we can’t really ask anyone to prove anything but that was my point! We do however, have page after page on here of Fin Dommes trying to prove to us why they are ‘real’ whatever real is!

K, I did go off on one! The thing is, I've always really liked your posts and I have a lot of respect for you as a Domme. What I saw and read from you hugely frustrated me because it appeared to me that you were desperate to get your point across at whatever cost to your reputation. It didn't make me dislike you, though I know I often give people that impression, it just made me... well if I'm honest, it made me angry at you and I had no right to be angry and I want to apologize for that.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 11:09:15 AM

TNDommeK

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I appreciate your apology and accept it. Thank you for that.
I also thank you for saying your respect me.

I guess I am passionate about this topic, thus my constant posts here.
I do attempt to explain how things with ME are. Maybe I attempt too much.
But I do at some point realize it's like arguing with a brick wall and let it alone. (Example dink)

I also agree with you on the points you made about fin dommes.
The difference between a pro and fin Domme, to me, is that a pro may not have an active relationship with
with sub. For instance a sub may just come to see the pro and that's it, nothing more.
So there could be a line between the two, but it would be a very fine line.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 11/5/2013 11:14:47 AM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 11:12:25 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
As for what constitutes ‘a legitimate form of D/s ‘ ? well for me, both parties have to be getting something out of the D/s dynamic that draws them closer to that person. If that’s money then so be it. He gets something out of giving, she gets something out of receiving and I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So then any authority dynamic which is mutually beneficial would be considered "legitimate" by you? Yeah, I can go with that also... that neatly leaves the definition of legitimacy up to the participants. I'll go ahead and pick on K since I like her. Look, this thing she calls "dominance" isn't what I recognize to be dominance and this thing she calls M/s isn't even close to what I think of as M/s. If I wanted to get all judgemental it'd be easy for me to say that by my standards her fin-dommery just doesn't hold up to scrutiny. What I don't understand (in this whole 93 pages) is the urge for people to do that. Don't we keep the neocons around in the US to tell everyone else what they should and should not be getting up to in the bedroom? I hardly think we need the kink community for that LOL.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 11:22:19 AM

TNDommeK

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I feel special when you pick on me

But do keep in mind this is fin dommery. I think my lifestyle approach is similar to you and carols. I think!

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 11:35:00 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I feel special when you pick on me

That's how you know your a member of the super-sekret inner-clique.

quote:

But do keep in mind this is fin dommery. I think my lifestyle approach is similar to you and carols. I think!

Yeah, I was wondering that too. In the end it always comes down to the pressing need to be sipping something refreshing on a shared veranda. More importantly though, I don't care. My views on what is and is not D/s don't tend to be shared by anyone in BDSM. That isn't the basis upon which I decide how I feel about someone else's relationship.

LOLOLOL... and I just noticed that the mods have gotten tired of me complaining about the time they pulled my mastercard (I can hear them grumbling about it even now... "Oh sure, pull a guy's mastercard even just once and.....")

How long have I had this new forum tag? LOL

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 12:06:49 PM

VideoAdminChi

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<weg>

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 11/5/2013 12:25:24 PM

VideoAdminGamma

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This topic is closed due to the numerous violations that have happened since it started and to allow others to open and direct the discussion on this subject. If there are any questions please feel free to contact me or Chi.

Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
Gamma

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