RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/31/2012 8:09:16 PM

PrincessJessieJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessJessieJ

No, no miscommunication in that she wrote what she meant to. For some reason when I came through and read it, I thought it said Domme instead. I.. do not know why. I don't. my apologies!

I blame society...

Society got nothing to do w'this.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 8/31/2012 8:18:08 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessLyr

A female's power is seen through Her sex, just as a man's power is seen through his money.

Touch of both the misogynist and misandrist there, no?

This is a big part of why findommes are so despised, and finsubs are so uncomfortable about revealing themselves on the message board. The amount of "you're a loser" rhetoric that goes on, "I deserve your money, because you're inferior," etc. (Or "I have the pussy so I make the rules," one of my "favorite" destruction-of-feminism comments ever. A woman only has power in society if she's sexually desired? Really??????) If I had a deep sexual urge to give a woman money, it might really fuck me up to read that stuff. As it is, I just get to indulge my Hide Button fetish. (And I have a *lot* of female profiles on Hide, believe me.)

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/1/2012 12:48:49 PM

MistressDemeter9

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessJessieJ

No, no miscommunication in that she wrote what she meant to. For some reason when I came through and read it, I thought it said Domme instead. I.. do not know why. I don't. my apologies!

Ah well, it doesn't matter too much at the end of the day... :-D

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/1/2012 3:16:18 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Seriously, would you follow someone that wrote this?

quote:

Most of my clothes were destroyed [*yay, naked domme*], no not quite. Some of my favorite items, and my favorite bra that cost me $38 were destroyed by my boyfriend's dogs. We've been trying to find a sub loyal enough to fence in our back yard, creating a sanctuary for them. Every time we leave the house, we currently have to lock the dogs in the basement. Cruel, I know. But they got back at us. The one evening we went away, we came home to find that the dogs had broken down the basement door and went on a rampage through the house. Garbage was everywhere, they pissed and shit all over the house and almost everything I had down in my room was eaten, broken, or soiled....

My relationship is almost over. We're at a point where we're breaking up twice a month. It hurts me because this is the second longest relationship I've ever had. Our problem is that he wants a girlfriend with sub-like tendancies - he wants me to clean up after him and blah blah blah. It's when I refuse that he gets pissed off, abusive, and kicks me out. We get back together because I have nowhere else to go. That's why I'm going to kick myself into over-drive with my cam site and my domination, so I can start saving up to get my own place. Hopefully some of you loyal subs can help out with that.
(FYI, that relationship is about 6 months old.)

Really? And she expects strangers to give her money to support her bad decisions and find herself?

OSide, you have mail.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/2/2012 3:55:01 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessLyr

A female's power is seen through Her sex, just as a man's power is seen through his money.

Touch of both the misogynist and misandrist there, no?

This is a big part of why findommes are so despised, and finsubs are so uncomfortable about revealing themselves on the message board. The amount of "you're a loser" rhetoric that goes on, "I deserve your money, because you're inferior," etc. (Or "I have the pussy so I make the rules," one of my "favorite" destruction-of-feminism comments ever. A woman only has power in society if she's sexually desired? Really??????) If I had a deep sexual urge to give a woman money, it might really fuck me up to read that stuff. As it is, I just get to indulge my Hide Button fetish. (And I have a *lot* of female profiles on Hide, believe me.)

Sometimes I read profiles that make me want to go hide under a rock.

...or behind the couch.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/3/2012 5:14:46 PM

TNDommeK

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*sigh* When I saw the name I knew it was going to be some bullshit, but fortunately the mods still have muzzles on the strays.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/3/2012 5:40:20 PM

Serenity1301

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It is not really for anyone to decide legitimacy of a kink, if there are two separate consenting parties involved then it really only comes down to like minded parties trying to find one another.
I believe there are posers in all BDSM avenues, not just in the Financial Domination scene. But really who are we to judge what others enjoy and happily consent to ?
I also agree there are a lot of very pushy Dommes not observing the correct etiquette and those Dommes are naturally pushier because they find their methods to be ineffective.

I suppose what is really in question is the level of taboo we apply to this manner of submission and domination not whether is is a legitimate kink or not.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 11:57:55 AM

TNDommeK

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It seems Dinky had a friend or sock send me an ebil message on the other side, since he can't speak here. And I will not do the honor of giving him a voice by repeating what was said, so his opinion will still be awaiting approval.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Serenity, I totally agree with your first line. I think that is something that the uneducated people who bash us forget to mention. If both parties are consenting then I do not see it as something that is not a legitimate kink. There is something for everyone out there.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 12:20:48 PM

kiwisub12

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The only issue i have about financial domination is when subs are so desperate for someone to play with them, that they "give" tributes to women for the attention. So what you have is someone who's kink isn't financial domination paying for attention - because that is the only way they can indulge in their legitimate fetishes and perversions (said with love lol).
There is something very sad about that situation. Both people probably agree with what is going on - but the subs would probably prefer a domme who didn't require payment, as in a regular relationship.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 9/4/2012 12:22:07 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 12:45:07 PM

PrincessLyr

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Joined: 2/22/2012
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*meh*
I couldn't care less. This is why the forum boards consist of one familiar group of people...bc most are afraid of speaking their OPINION openly for fear of tongue castration here. Unfortunately I am very happy expressing Myself anywhere, at anytime, to anyone.

The world is full of complicated subjects. Findom is one of them.
And anyone who seriously thinks looks and sex have nothing to do with anything in society are seriously in denial.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 1:12:42 PM

PrincessLyr

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Joined: 2/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessLyr

A female's power is seen through Her sex, just as a man's power is seen through his money.

Touch of both the misogynist and misandrist there, no?

This is a big part of why findommes are so despised, and finsubs are so uncomfortable about revealing themselves on the message board. The amount of "you're a loser" rhetoric that goes on, "I deserve your money, because you're inferior," etc. (Or "I have the pussy so I make the rules," one of my "favorite" destruction-of-feminism comments ever. A woman only has power in society if she's sexually desired? Really??????) If I had a deep sexual urge to give a woman money, it might really fuck me up to read that stuff. As it is, I just get to indulge my Hide Button fetish. (And I have a *lot* of female profiles on Hide, believe me.)

No worries. I think we all enjoy a nice block every now and then.

_____________________________

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"All of this knowledge is giving Me a raging brainer!"

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 3:51:56 PM

Rochsub2009

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I think this thread generated a lot of good dialogue about a topic that seldom gets discussed in an intelligent fashion around here.

Frankly, I do wish that more financial subs had chimed in. Clearly they exist, or there wouldn't be so many financial Dommes waiting to exploit them. Although I do believe that Kiwisub made a very good point when he said that some male subs who send tribute to financial Dommes aren't REALLY financial subs. They just see that as the only way of getting attention from a Domme.

Personally, I think that anyone who fits into that group should utilize the services of a pro-Domme, rather than a financial Domme. I think they'll likely get more for their money. But that's just my opinion, and it obviously won't be true in all cases.

But if your kink really is financial submission, then financial Dommes (in all their forms, since we've established that the 19 year old princesses aren't the only type) are probably just what the doctor ordered. So open up your wallet and send her tribute.

Thanks again to everyone who participated in the thread. I thought it was a very good exchange.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 9/4/2012 3:54:12 PM >

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 5:15:44 PM

DaddysGentleHand

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The financial dommes are so prevalent on CM - mostly young and cocky.

I will enjoy seeing them when they have to rely on a personality to get by, instead of their temporary youthful looks. There are many here, myself included, who know true and timeless beauty comes from the inside out. And we understand that class never goes out of style.

Gravity happens to all of us.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 5:38:11 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

The only issue i have about financial domination is when subs are so desperate for someone to play with them, that they "give" tributes to women for the attention. So what you have is someone who's kink isn't financial domination paying for attention - because that is the only way they can indulge in their legitimate fetishes and perversions .

There's another side to that as well. Where it's the submissive's kink, but the "Domme" isn't really kinky. It's just a way to get free stuff.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 5:42:02 PM

cloudboy

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In Immigration Law, when the US citizen spouse exercises financial domination over a conditional resident spouse, its called abuse.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 7:00:32 PM

txdiamond68

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I avoided this whole thread for a while now, but decided to join in because *drumroll* I learned something new! I kept seeing the term findomme and wondered if they were into mermaids, had a fish fetish, or some other weirdness. ROFL Now I know.

I have personal experience with the whole "financial domination" thing. (Read my last journal rant, its in there.) I was in a 12 year relationship with a man who was my everything; Daddy, Master, Owner, Lover, Friend. As part of our agreement, I handed over the vast majority of my money to him. I never did just give him my bank account, but I did give him basically all my money. I didn't really care about it for a long time, until I realized that no matter how much I gave him it never was enough, so he'd take all that I had left, too. Then I would be dependent on him for everything. Gas, cigs, clothes, makeup... if I needed money for anything I had to ask him for it.

I do think he found it empowering to have that kind of control over me, and in retrospect, I was naieve in thinking he was doing any of it for my benefit. I have been working hard in a decent career for 15 years and have nothing to show for it, not even a small savings account. Will I ever allow anyone to put me in that position again? HAYELL no. Did I get anything out of it? Yup. A hard lesson learned and a LOT of frustration during our time together.

That is my experience and my opinion of the matter. Is financial domiination a valid form of D/s? Perhaps for some people it is, but it will never again be a negotiable part of any D/s relationship I have.

As always, this is my opinion; your mileage may vary.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 7:11:41 PM

TNDommeK

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I don't think there is anything wrong with being dependent, as long as the owner has good intentions. Clearly, the one you were involved with did not. Sorry to hear about that but glad you learned something. I think life teaches us in ways like that.

And, just to add...I think a mermaid fetish might be cool.

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/4/2012 10:57:14 PM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

From the submissives' standpoint, this can give them feelings of power exchange. The financial Domme is in charge of their money, and the financial sub has no control over her spending. Whether you like it or not, that IS a legitimate form of power exchange.

Of course it is a form of service and use. It combines two very formidable influences in human society: the primal force that is sex and proxy for power that is money. I'd like to point out how such conversations almost always end up being about female pros, prostitutes, and middle finger-wagging poser girls. Outside of the fact financial domination also works for women in none of the aforementioned categories, it's important to mention that financial dominance happens on the M/f end as well. I know, because I do it. But I don't see what the big deal is, really, especially where slavery is concerned. I often don't see the need to differentiate between slavery and "financial slavery." To me they are one and the same and there's no need to delineate "legitimacy" of the practice, either—to those who have a handle on it all, at least.

If you have a problem with financial domination inasmuch as not being able to wrest free from some hackle-raising cartoon of a hot, shallow scammer in your head whenever the word is mentioned, if the term makes you want to gush out an MRA-ish diatribe about unscrupulous femme fatales and patently piteous men only inhabiting the practice, you might want to look into your revealing bitterness and ignorance on the matter and question the source of your feelings. In a sphere where a bullwhip can paint someone's back red to much applause and orgasmic simpering, taking issue with the financial aspects of dominance and submission seems a bit...ironic, don't you think?

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/6/2012 3:31:49 PM

porcelaine

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Greetings Roch,

quote:

From the submissives' standpoint, this can give them feelings of power exchange. Any thoughts or rebuttals?

If I've placed myself under a man's authority it would seem very odd that he had no jurisdiction over my finances. I didn't always feel this way, but I believe trust is demonstrated in situations that bring us pleasure and those that cause discomfort. I don't view this as an aspect of power exchange but merely the correct approach to the subject. Having free reign over my money in spite of our relationship would generate feelings of independence and a lack of accountability that I desire from his headship.

Good question.

Regards,

~porcelaine

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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 9/7/2012 11:38:53 PM

Serenity1301

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quote:

If you have a problem with financial domination inasmuch as not being able to wrest free from some hackle-raising cartoon of a hot, shallow scammer in your head whenever the word is mentioned, if the term makes you want to gush out an MRA-ish diatribe about unscrupulous femme fatales and patently piteous men only inhabiting the practice, you might want to look into your revealing bitterness and ignorance on the matter and question the source of your feelings. In a sphere where a bullwhip can paint someone's back red to much applause and orgasmic simpering, taking issue with the financial aspects of dominance and submission seems a bit...ironic, don't you think?

Well said. Let lie what other do in their personal lives with full consent. If it's not your kink then don't indulge same with everything else practiced in the enormous sphere.

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