RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER!

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER!

Page: << < prev 5 6 7 [8] 9 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/20/2012 6:21:53 PM

Jaquin

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/12/2011
Status: offline

Having the same issue. Tis sad.

_____________________________

"The feeling of freedom, and freedom denied."

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Profile

Post #: 141

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 8:14:10 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Another old chestnut:
'How big is yr strapon?' [with variations on the spelling of 'strap-on', including some freudian 'stRAPEons'.
I tell them it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean, and I although I always buy new, I start with the dainty and never go beyond daring.
Alas, size-queens are never satisfied, and good men get scared.
This is how I imagine they imagine it, complete with triumphant trumpets in the background:
http://skd-online-collection.skd.museum/de/contents/show?id=117276
Can't upload the pic: if you can't see it, google: Trinkhorn (Greifenklaue) wohl Prag, um 1400

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 142

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 1:47:02 PM

hairlover123

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline

Is it bad that 75 percent of these comments came from me? :/ hahaha :p

(in reply to ARIES83)

Profile

Post #: 143

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 3:50:36 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

She and her husband are in an open marriage but still he does not want to be a part of this and we don't have a phone at the house but I have a cell phone...

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Profile

Post #: 144

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 7:11:45 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

On that note, one of the better pickup lines I've ever received (on the vanilla side) was a picture of the most adorable kitty in a guy's (clothed) lap. No face pic.

Unfortunately, I could not like him enough to meet the kitty.

(in reply to Arturas)

Profile

Post #: 145

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 8:13:31 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

I love big appropriate words.
Recently, it's been more moobs, pubes and big black d*cks, which seems like a gay=bear lovers' paradise.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 146

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 9:16:15 PM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

I want to offer you, my virgin ass!

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Profile

Post #: 147

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/21/2012 9:45:35 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

That's what they all say :-)
And some very, very sweetly/whisperingly/moaningly indeed!

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

Profile

Post #: 148

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/25/2012 11:44:42 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Just got one today. No hello (which always bugs the befukfest out of me):

"What will it take for you to put out a cigarette on me below the waist"

"Nothing much, really. You would just have to be somebody else."

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Profile

Post #: 149

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/26/2012 12:39:13 PM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

FR

OOh! Ooh! Mister Kotter! I just got mine!:

"wow, very nice u make my 9 inch smackel go right up"

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 150

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/26/2012 12:50:53 PM

VioletViolence

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline

Smackel?

No man should ever refer to his penis in that manner.

(in reply to QueenRah)

Profile

Post #: 151

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/26/2012 1:07:12 PM

Ninebelowzero

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

Do you take it up the dirt box on the first date?

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to VioletViolence)

Profile

Post #: 152

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/26/2012 5:27:03 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenRah

FR

OOh! Ooh! Mister Kotter! I just got mine!:

"wow, very nice u make my 9 inch smackel go right up"

He probably meant 'schmekel' which is a diminutive form of the Yiddish term 'schmuck' (who doesn't know what THAT means!). Schmekel (and putz, for those wanting to increase their Yiddish vocabulary) is used as a derogatory term for penis i.e. 'dick'.

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 9/26/2012 5:29:01 PM >

(in reply to QueenRah)

Profile

Post #: 153

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/26/2012 6:06:19 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Just got one today. No hello (which always bugs the befukfest out of me):

"What will it take for you to put out a cigarette on me below the waist"

"Nothing much, really. You would just have to be somebody else."

I got that one too just the other day, this is a repeat offender from way back. I wrote back "You again. Haven't you found someone to do this yet?" He said, "one, but she was not to my liking."

Sigh.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 154

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/27/2012 2:46:04 PM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenRah

FR

OOh! Ooh! Mister Kotter! I just got mine!:

"wow, very nice u make my 9 inch smackel go right up"

He probably meant 'schmekel' which is a diminutive form of the Yiddish term 'schmuck' (who doesn't know what THAT means!). Schmekel (and putz, for those wanting to increase their Yiddish vocabulary) is used as a derogatory term for penis i.e. 'dick'.

That fella (this is him -->

) must have gotten as far as line I or II of my profile and thought he'd wow me with a nod to my use of a Yiddish word (I spelt it "zaftig").

Anyway, among all the typical, bad introductory words of courtship, many of which have already been shared by other unfortunate Dominas, here, he wins the biscuit, in my book.

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 155

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/27/2012 4:40:26 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenRah

That fella (this is him --> ) must have gotten as far as line I or II of my profile and thought he'd wow me with a nod to my use of a Yiddish word (I spelt it "zaftig").

Anyway, among all the typical, bad introductory words of courtship, many of which have already been shared by other unfortunate Dominas, here, he wins the biscuit, in my book.

Oh, how sweet of him to try to accommodate you!

Well, at least he knows we zaftig chicks ROCK!

Btw, QR, I see your

and will you raise you one

! (Any excuse to use the dancing pineapple!)

(in reply to QueenRah)

Profile

Post #: 156

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 9/28/2012 9:35:00 AM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Btw, QR, I see your and will you raise you one! (Any excuse to use the dancing pineapple!)

And I raise you a B-52s connection to that, there

- "Strobelight."

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Profile

Post #: 157

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 10/6/2012 6:04:39 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Lol, fabulous profile pic of a t-shirt [never thought I'd ever type those words] and the nice chest under it: the front of which reads:
Strap-on Dommes: /
Please enter at rear
;-)

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to QueenRah)

Profile

Post #: 158

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 10/11/2012 1:51:24 AM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

lol! awesome shirt!

Here's one from right now:

quote:

Alecta on 10/11/12 at 1:36 AM:
It is hilarious that you picked the one most insulting thing you could possibly imagine to say.

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:36 AM:
i have a lot to say Ma'am

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:33 AM:
age and location and i do believe your existence

Alecta on 10/11/12 at 1:32 AM:
and what qualifies me?

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:17 AM:
Complete obedience, respect, no negotiation from my side, other than (yes Miss)

Alecta on 10/11/12 at 1:16 AM:
what qualifies you?

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:15 AM:
yes Miss, may i offer myself for a complete service?

Alecta on 10/11/12 at 1:14 AM:
yea... when you send messages saying "can i say something" that's a message too. Spit it out or swallow it.

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:13 AM:
no i did not yet, i am interested to say something if you give me the permission

Alecta on 10/11/12 at 1:12 AM:
aren't you already?

**censor** on 10/11/12 at 1:09 AM:
Hi may i say something please?

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Profile

Post #: 159

RE: Worst. Domme. Pickup Line. EVER! - 10/13/2012 7:42:53 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Ladies, anyone else get the first-contact pic of a orange furry with groin cut-out that looks like a morbidly obese myopic dude in a cheap US-sport mascot/ewok suit after he fell in a vat of Tang? No? Just me? lucky . . .

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 160