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RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 9:54:17 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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so much for the flounce....

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:02:51 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

And when you try getting to know a dom as a person, all they do is give you an ice queen attitude. It's a lose-lose situation.


You tried to get to know someone as a person? SOMEONE PASSED THE SCREENING? Awesome.

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:23:18 PM   
BlackSockSlave


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/3/2012
Status: offline
I'll give it a week. If no progress, I'm making good on my flounce.

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:24:57 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

And when you try getting to know a dom as a person, all they do is give you an ice queen attitude. It's a lose-lose situation.


That might have something to do with how women received reading your laundry list.

You're on a kinky website, so it may seem ironic to be told to take the majority of the kink out of your profile. Ironic, but realistic; it will actually get you farther, faster. There are general differences between men and women; don't battle it, adjust for it. Dominant women with kinky proclivities are still women first, dominants second. Approach them as such after you've taken your point-by-point script out of your profile. We don't want to read your impossible laundry list, and imo you are limiting yourself by putting so much importance on external details like feckin' stocking color. What if you found the ideal person but she liked taupe colored stockings? What if her feet don't smell but every other thing about her fits well?

That we are kinky does not mean we will respond to shortcuts and edicts about what we must be for your satisfaction. You still have to go the distance, and it starts with the same vanilla pleasantries you use on eHarmony. Quit whining and adapt; there's no shame in that.

Cripes, if I had a buck for every self-absorbed stud who came on here thinking it would be easy to find his dream-girl because all he had to do was spell out the details of what makes his dick twitch...I could settle our national debt.

This site has worked better than well for me. My plate is full x 2 and I've made many friends. It works; so sayeth my male partners who started by taking an interest in me as a vanilla person on CM. Their profiles did not emphasize minute details about what they expected. They focused on regular-life stuff and philosophies we had in common.

If that's too much work for you...you can always hire a prodomme or escort. When you pay to play it's kinda like Burger King: you can have it your way.

Best of luck to you, whichever way you go.


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 10/3/2012 10:27:50 PM >

(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:33:36 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

And when you try getting to know a dom as a person, all they do is give you an ice queen attitude. It's a lose-lose situation.


That might have something to do with how women received reading your laundry list.

You're on a kinky website, so it may seem ironic to be told to take the majority of the kink out of your profile. Ironic, but realistic; it will actually get you farther, faster. There are general differences between men and women; don't battle it, adjust for it. Dominant women with kinky proclivities are still women first, dominants second. Approach them as such after you've taken your point-by-point script out of your profile. We don't want to read your impossible laundry list, and imo you are limiting yourself by putting so much importance on external details like feckin' stocking color. What if you found the ideal person but she liked taupe colored stockings? What if her feet don't smell but every other thing about her fits well?

That we are kinky does not mean we will respond to shortcuts and edicts about what we must be for your satisfaction. You still have to go the distance, and it starts with the same vanilla pleasantries you use on eHarmony. Quit whining and adapt; there's no shame in that.

Cripes, if I had a buck for every self-absorbed stud who came on here thinking it would be easy to find his dream-girl because all he had to do was spell out the details of what makes his dick twitch...I could settle our national debt.

This site has worked better than well for me. My plate is full x 2 and I've made many friends. It works; so sayeth my male partners who started by taking an interest in me as a vanilla person on CM. Their profiles did not emphasize minute details about what they expected. They focused on regular-life stuff and philosophies we had in common.

If that's too much work for you...you can always hire a prodomme or escort. When you pay to play it's kinda like Burger King: you can have it your way.

Best of luck to you, whichever way you go.



OMG, for crying out loud, that's priceless, and spot on! Now, if I could only stop laughing....

Thanks Mistress, that alone made this entire debacle worth it!

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:35:35 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

And when you try getting to know a dom as a person, all they do is give you an ice queen attitude. It's a lose-lose situation.


I give up, I know when I'm licked. Now, if I could only stop laughing....

I know y'all have heard me say it before, but I'll say it again. A wink is as good as a nod....

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 10/3/2012 10:39:40 PM >

(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 10:48:59 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline
You remind me of previous posters who didn't want to accept and follow the advice given by those who know best.

"I'm going to flounce out of here right after I post a message about me leaving and hang around to see what people say."

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 11:07:34 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

I'll give it a week. If no progress, I'm making good on my flounce.


Sweetheart, better men than you have waited MUCH longer than that...years sometimes...and they didn't have 50 zillion kink and physical requirements. But they steadfastly kept at it with polite geniality, no whining or impatience... and ultimately found their one. Go read the 'Positive Experiences' forum here. The happily connected contributors didn't find success in a feckin' week.

It'll be the same no matter where you go. It just...is how it is. Partners so easily acquired almost never make the long haul. Settle in, get to work, and do your best.



(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 11:40:26 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cbx16v

Im a sub guy,




Btw, Sim, you have an excellent profile. The OP would benefit greatly from using it as a template.

What makes it great is you are realistic, show you understand how Ds actually works in real life, and presents your wants and needs without a single speck of expectation or entitlement. You state generous, honest intentions toward your partner-to-be, and give her the inside info on what makes you tick. You help her do her job as your domme without topping from the bottom with a script written in stone. You demonstrate flexibility. Your pictures are awesome. They show your serious side, your smiling genial side, and that you know your way around quite a good camera. Also...so many of the ladies here appreciate a nice suit!

Well done, and good on ya!


< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 10/3/2012 11:44:51 PM >

(in reply to cbx16v)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/3/2012 11:43:26 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline
Gotta say, OP, I totally get where you're coming from...and I think some of the Doms are being way too hard on you.

Tell me to step off, if I'm missing it, but here's the rationale:

- This is a kink site. Meaning: we are all here, primarily, because we share kinkiness in common.

- That being the case, it would seem as if the Introduction forum is a good place to lay out your criteria for a partner; this is the germane portion of your presence on this board.

- Being told to produce vanilla criteria/context seems contrary to the purpose of coming here in the first place.


That does make sense.

Flaws?

- You're in a sellers' market.

- Those sellers are women. Specifically, dominant women. Some sub women, you could approach with, "Hey-- want to fuck?" and, right place-right time, that might be just the thing to clinch a first encounter, and blossom a relationship from there. That won't work well with women (or men) who want to control that exact situation. So laying out your criteria comes across as pushy (again, I understand how that seems inherently contradictory on a site like this, but there it is).


I totally get it. For sure, there is nothing more frustrating than making a close bond, building something together...THEN finding out your sex does not mesh. You have now become invested in another Friend, and are still bereft of a Lover. In any just world, we could put that on the table first, as a discriminator, and start from that trusted baseline.

No such luck, unfortunately.

Still....

This site does establish a new baseline, better than shooting blind (or even using older media, such as classified ads and group chat phone lines), so coming here does provide a step up. A smaller step than you expected. But-- it's a step in the right direction.

I say: welcome to the site. I hope you find what you seek. Don't be discouraged.








(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 12:00:40 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
GOOD! bye- bye
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

I'll give it a week. If no progress, I'm making good on my flounce.


_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 12:14:00 AM   
BlackSockSlave


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/3/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

Gotta say, OP, I totally get where you're coming from...and I think some of the Doms are being way too hard on you.

Tell me to step off, if I'm missing it, but here's the rationale:

- This is a kink site. Meaning: we are all here, primarily, because we share kinkiness in common.

- That being the case, it would seem as if the Introduction forum is a good place to lay out your criteria for a partner; this is the germane portion of your presence on this board.

- Being told to produce vanilla criteria/context seems contrary to the purpose of coming here in the first place.


That does make sense.

Flaws?

- You're in a sellers' market.

- Those sellers are women. Specifically, dominant women. Some sub women, you could approach with, "Hey-- want to fuck?" and, right place-right time, that might be just the thing to clinch a first encounter, and blossom a relationship from there. That won't work well with women (or men) who want to control that exact situation. So laying out your criteria comes across as pushy (again, I understand how that seems inherently contradictory on a site like this, but there it is).


I totally get it. For sure, there is nothing more frustrating than making a close bond, building something together...THEN finding out your sex does not mesh. You have now become invested in another Friend, and are still bereft of a Lover. In any just world, we could put that on the table first, as a discriminator, and start from that trusted baseline.

No such luck, unfortunately.

Still....

This site does establish a new baseline, better than shooting blind (or even using older media, such as classified ads and group chat phone lines), so coming here does provide a step up. A smaller step than you expected. But-- it's a step in the right direction.

I say: welcome to the site. I hope you find what you seek. Don't be discouraged.











Great post. Every word is true. I hope you find what you seek, too.

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 12:23:19 AM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline
Glad you dug it, OP.

Oh, and Dusky....you are fast becoming my new hero. I meant to communicate my appreciation of that one of Spencer Tracy's lesser-known works; good mention, ma'am. Nice pop culture drop. Thanks for making my night. I am going to put that on my Netflix list again....

(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 3:20:20 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline
Ok here is my ten cents worth and btw I haven't ploughed through all the responses but I somehow know theres going to be a lot of negativity.

Firstly I read your profile and it sounds a bit too showy for my liking. You also give away too much information on your profile about who you actually are. Remember that google is our friend!

I get the impression that you just want to have some fun, experiment in a kinky way and see how things go? but to do that you have to find a dominant woman who is just wanting to have some kinky fun with a bit of role-play thrown in and see how things go
This site isn't just for people who take this 'ever so seriously' some people come here because they do 'sometimes' enjoy the alternative and there is nothing wrong with that so long as you are not doing it with someone who is 'ever so serious'.
I think a female dominant could work you out and make her own decision about having some fun with you or not but don't expect an 'ever so serious Domme' to make contact. You are just not subservient enough
You put the word 'slave' in your name which is a serious crime round here if you aren't being serious! You also open yourself to more invitations from pro Dommes contacting you because they think your a sucker.
I think you will quickly get disillusioned on here unless you are prepared to spend time writing to the forums and making yourself popular.
You are much better off looking up your local munch, which is not a kinky or dressing up parade but a completely discreet meet with a bunch of like minded people.

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 7:14:45 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Do you have blue eyes and a bettie wig, Maria? He might dig you!

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 7:45:33 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSockSlave

I'll give it a week. If no progress, I'm making good on my flounce.

I gotta say, MUCH improvement on your profile from what you previously had.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to BlackSockSlave)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 7:47:56 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Is it worth reading, Poise?

And dude, I am serious about the rapeymask. NOT appealing.

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 8:09:41 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Is it worth reading, Poise?

And dude, I am serious about the rapeymask. NOT appealing.

Well, it no longer reads as though the Domme that passes his screening
will be having a relationship with only his nose, so it's a better read. :)

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 8:22:24 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14409
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

Tell me to step off, if I'm missing it, but here's the rationale:

- This is a kink site. Meaning: we are all here, primarily, because we share kinkiness in common.

- That being the case, it would seem as if the Introduction forum is a good place to lay out your criteria for a partner; this is the germane portion of your presence on this board.

- Being told to produce vanilla criteria/context seems contrary to the purpose of coming here in the first place.



If your entire relationship is kinky sex, then yes....laying out your laundry list of what you done to you would make sense.

But, you can't have kinky sex 24/7...and eventually you'll have to talk to each other.

If I don't like you as a person, it doesn't matter how many of our kinks we have in common. I'm not going to play or have sex with you. To figure out if I like you....you need to talk about more than just kinky sex.

And last, since you're a Dom, how would you like it if a female submissive came to you with a scene planned out down to the smallest movement and expected you to follow every instruction that they had laid out? Who would you feel is controlling the situation?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: What's an acceptable introduction? - 10/4/2012 8:23:38 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Which is why I recommended the yellow pages, OsideGirl.

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 80
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