RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive?

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RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 3:04:00 PM

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The following posters gave me really useful advice on my problem and I just wanted to acknowledge them. I think too often we fail to see the real kindness, thoughtfulness and helpfulness from strangers on the internet and it's a real shame. So thank you, everyone, I appreciated it more than you know.

sexyred1
myotherself
Toysinbabeland
ChatteParfaitt (that 'shesh hon' was more needed than you know - I nearly cried)
Aries83 (structuring activities - you're so right, and thank you for your down to earth common sense)
SimplyMichael (Thank you. That's all I'm going to say:-) )
SpaceSpank
Spiritedsub (I liked your spirited defense of chemistry. It's not everything, but it is something, and that shouldn't be forgotten in the practical details)
Greta75 (for asking a really insightful question that I hadn't even thought of)
TieMeInKnottss (You made a very true point)

And to everyone I didn't mention - thank you for your time and your thoughts, sometimes it was just as useful to figure out what I didn't think, as well as what I did.

Peace out

OD12 xxx

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 3:31:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Indeed. I've had 'amaaaaazzziiinnngggg chemistry' quite a few times in my 50 plus years. And every fucking time the relationship blew up in my face. I am not sure I even trust 'aammmaaaaazzziiinnggg chemistry' anymore. It's just fucking lust people!

The best relationship of my life began with very little chemistry, but a whole lotta friendship and communicating. We've said this over and over and over on here, till our fingertips turn purple,.............just because you've got some BDSM or power exchange dynamic tossed in does not negate the fact that it is a relationship. We are not that special.

Every single person that I've seen/heard say otherwise, tends to go through relationships like my dogs through chew toys. But hey, if you want short and aaaamaaaazziiinnnggg......go for it! Usually the breakups are pretty fucking aaaaammmmaaaaazzzziiiinnngggg too.

And entertaining for us observers.

I've got to agree with this. Amazing chemistry is great. If we're *just* talking play partners and all you're in it for is the play/sex, chemistry can be enough. If it's about a whole relationship, amazing chemistry isn't necessarily enough to build the foundation for something solid. There are people right here on this thread who have said at various times, "yeah, sex with him was awesome, but he was a real dick/abusive/whatever".

Sometimes, it's the so-called "amazing chemistry" that gets people to put up with shit longer than they should have.

That is unfortunately very true for me and others. So when the posters who say "amazing chemistry is worth fighting for", ask yourself that once you have spent years being unhappy in a relationship where none of your important needs are met but god damn, that sex was AWESOME. I am telling you, you can talk yourself into anything.

I will now take less awesome sex, but great compatibility and shared values and having fun together over amazing chemistry.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 3:33:34 PM

Kana

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Hey, better living through chemistry is a motto worth indulging

_____________________________

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HST

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 5:52:30 PM

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

That is unfortunately very true for me and others. So when the posters who say "amazing chemistry is worth fighting for", ask yourself that once you have spent years being unhappy in a relationship where none of your important needs are met but god damn, that sex was AWESOME. I am telling you, you can talk yourself into anything.

I will now take less awesome sex, but great compatibility and shared values and having fun together over amazing chemistry.

Nobody, least of all me, was saying spend years...simply that if you DO have great chemistry, dont just throw it away. Spend the time to find out if there IS compatibility, if you will be taken care of. I usually spend at leat ten ir fifteen minutes on that before seeing how hot the sex is...

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 6:03:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
I'm wondering here how much experience you have... is he one of your first. Could you be succumbing to a little sub-frenzy?

About 12 years, but there's nothing to say that old handers can't get as frenzied as new timers :-)

In fairness, I've spent most of my time being a sub or a masochist - I've never done the slave thing before. So perhaps this is 'slave frenzy' after all.

Thanks for your kind words re: the profile :-)

Hey... thanks for reading my post in the spirit that was intended!

I think you're right btw... there is nothing to say that old handers can't get as frenzied as new timers sometimes.

I do hope you resolve your quandry in the way that works best for you.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 7:31:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

That is unfortunately very true for me and others. So when the posters who say "amazing chemistry is worth fighting for", ask yourself that once you have spent years being unhappy in a relationship where none of your important needs are met but god damn, that sex was AWESOME. I am telling you, you can talk yourself into anything.

I will now take less awesome sex, but great compatibility and shared values and having fun together over amazing chemistry.

To me "amazing chemistry" means vastly more than hot sex. It's intellectual, emotional, physical, maybe even psychic, chemistry all together. Hot sex is just one by-product of the chemistry I'm speaking of. A rare thing but unforgettable and cherished.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 7:57:01 PM

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I agree, it should mean more than hot sex.

Again, like everything else here it is semantics.

I was just referring to sexual chemistry in my post.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 8:59:27 PM

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Joined: 11/4/2012
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I'm new here (but not to BDSM)
And I notice that some "submissives" do not appear to be submissives but something else, maybe just a kink ,freak ,masso even maybe switches.
Voicing an opinion is one thing, being argumentative and belligerent is another.

Interesting

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/7/2012 9:07:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackBikeDom

I'm new here (but not to BDSM)
And I notice that some "submissives" do not appear to be submissives but something else, maybe just a kink ,freak ,masso even maybe switches.
Voicing an opinion is one thing, being argumentative and belligerent is another.

Interesting

What are you even talking about??? Besides "a submissive" & submissive to you in any way, shape or form are VERY different things!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 3:53:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

To me "amazing chemistry" means vastly more than hot sex. It's intellectual, emotional, physical, maybe even psychic, chemistry all together. Hot sex is just one by-product of the chemistry I'm speaking of. A rare thing but unforgettable and cherished.

I agree with you. In fact, if I don't have the other stuff then I don't have the 'great sex' part. But even with having all of that great stuff......still doesn't make them relationship material. Hell, it doesn't even make them good friend material.

And having good friend material, is the one bit I won't tolerate going without, for relationship material. The list of requirements for that, would take longer than I have, to write.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/8/2012 3:54:09 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 5:01:51 AM

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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

I will pen in a visit to Georgia in-between my trips to Tahiti and St. Tropez. I will then kidnap you and take you to St. Tropez - you would love the beaches there. They are phenomenal!!!

DEAL!! *reminds self to get passport updated*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to JanahX)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 8:32:04 AM

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Joined: 11/4/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackBikeDom

I'm new here (but not to BDSM)
And I notice that some "submissives" do not appear to be submissives but something else, maybe just a kink ,freak ,masso even maybe switches.
Voicing an opinion is one thing, being argumentative and belligerent is another.

Interesting

What are you even talking about??? Besides "a submissive" & submissive to you in any way, shape or form are VERY different things!

CONTEXT: I was replying to

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

Of course a master can't be satisfied with a submissive lady. What man could? Everyone knows that slaves are somehow better than submissive ladies. They're more ... Okay they do more ... Alright, that isn't it ... Hmmmmm ...

OP, I noticed that you say things like:

quote:

it has become painfully obvious to me that I am a submissive, and not a slave. I'm argumentative, I want to say no, ...

and:

quote:

At the same time that I'm an, at best, wilful, bratty submissive ...

I beg you to go and look up the word "submit".

Now, I am not talking about this in a "bedroom only" kind of way. I am talking about as a lifestyle.

You may want to consider the idea that you're a masochist and not a submissive. It happens. People come into the lifestyle and assume (or are wrongfully instructed) that one automatically means the other and they don't.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to theRose4U)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 8:38:24 AM

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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

wilful, bratty ...

does not equal

quote:

argumentative and belligerent

in my thesaurus.

Willful:
Main Entry:

willful [wil-fuhl] Show IPA

Part of Speech:

adjective

Definition:

stubborn, obstinate

Synonyms:

adamant, bullheaded, contumacious, determined, dogged, fractious, froward, headstrong, inflexible, intractable, intransigent, mulish, obdurate, persistent, pertinacious, perverse, pigheaded, refractory, resolved, self-willed, stiff-necked, uncompromising, unyielding

Brat (no listing for bratty):
Main Entry:

brat [brat] Show IPA

Part of Speech:

noun

Definition:

spoiled child

Synonyms:

devil*, enfant terrible, holy terror, impudent child, jackanapes, kid, punk*, rascal, unruly child, urchin, whippersnapper, wild one, youngster

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 8:45:11 AM

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackBikeDom

I'm new here (but not to BDSM)
And I notice that some "submissives" do not appear to be submissives but something else, maybe just a kink ,freak ,masso even maybe switches.
Voicing an opinion is one thing, being argumentative and belligerent is another.

Interesting

What you utterly fail to grasp is those women are that way to YOU, for those of us who actualy have skills, they become deliciously depraved and obedient...

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 9:27:16 AM

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Joined: 11/4/2012
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No,

I'm just looking at some reactions (where even a mod had to jump in), You assume It's about me.
What I do agree with you is that If you are secure of yourself and just stick with it, everything mellows out (what you call your skills)

Still , I see a difference between being playfull and bratty and all open attacks.

You assume too much.

Back on topic: Can a master be satisfied with a submissive
In my opinion, for dates: Yes
for 24/7: only if they have the curiosity to drift towards being a slave

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 9:33:21 AM

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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Notices that BBD completely has ignored my post re: thesaurus and has now changed his wording.

interesting.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 9:45:22 AM

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/4/2012
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Do you want a cookie now?

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 9:51:12 AM

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

No. But I think I would not be the only one interested in hearing your excuses for your backpedaling.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 10:24:29 AM

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Joined: 11/4/2012
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Backpedaling on what?

The op used willful, bratty and argumentative in connection with being a submissive fit for a master

Which leads them to post this question. And actually question this for themselves. which is valid.

I questioned if all submissives are really lifestyle submissives or "occasion" submissives.
To me there is a huge difference in that.

To me, a submissive being argumentative(OP) and/or belligerent seems strange for a m/s relation.

PS I don't read all posts all the time, deal with it.

_____________________________

The only way to a woman's heart is torment. MdS
Don't dig my style?...Leave it alone. TW

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Can a Master be satisfied with a submissive? - 11/8/2012 10:37:20 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

repeating my previous post, since you obviously missed it...

quote:

wilful, bratty

...does NOT equal:

quote:

argumentative and belligerent

in my thesaurus.

Willful:
Main Entry:

willful [wil-fuhl] Show IPA

Part of Speech:

adjective

Definition:

stubborn, obstinate

Synonyms:

adamant, bullheaded, contumacious, determined, dogged, fractious, froward, headstrong, inflexible, intractable, intransigent, mulish, obdurate, persistent, pertinacious, perverse, pigheaded, refractory, resolved, self-willed, stiff-necked, uncompromising, unyielding

Brat (no listing for bratty):
Main Entry:

brat [brat] Show IPA

Part of Speech:

noun

Definition:

spoiled child

Synonyms:

devil*, enfant terrible, holy terror, impudent child, jackanapes, kid, punk*, rascal, unruly child, urchin, whippersnapper, wild one, youngster

SO please do explain how belligerent and argumentative from your first response suddenly becomes

quote:

playfull and bratty and all open attacks.

in the next response (which ignored my prior one re: thesaurus). Also, please do explain what

quote:

and all open attacks.

means?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BlackBikeDom)

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