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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 12:53:06 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		No he never said they would be witnessing the birth, but he did say that she spends days at home (as a stay-home mother) in chains.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 1:04:46 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		And since this is the third child, I'm guessing the oldest is at least three years old. I would consider that inappropriate. Plus, young children lack verbal filters and see far more than we think...as evidenced by my Goddaughter saying to her mother while standing in line at the bank, "I saw Daddy put his peepee in your mouth".

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 1:36:24 PM   
wintermaster


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		We have wandered a little from the original question, but I will state that no children will see the birth. Our first child was not around for the second child's in-hospital birth. As far as the appropriateness of exposing children to her bondage, she simply tells them that they are her jewelry that daddy gave her (no different than the ornate bracelets, necklaces and ankles that many women wear). She wears normal clothes and mostly long skirts which make them less obvious. Yes, we may have to sit down and talk to the children about our lifestyle someday, but how is that different than a same sex couple having to discuss their lifestyle to adoptive or biological children. The chains are only things the children see from our relationship everything else is kept in the bedroom. She does not call me master: "honey" or "sweetie" are her titles of respect for me.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 1:58:01 PM   
Baroana


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Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wintermaster

We have wandered a little from the original question, but I will state that no children will see the birth. Our first child was not around for the second child's in-hospital birth. As far as the appropriateness of exposing children to her bondage, she simply tells them that they are her jewelry that daddy gave her (no different than the ornate bracelets, necklaces and ankles that many women wear). She wears normal clothes and mostly long skirts which make them less obvious. Yes, we may have to sit down and talk to the children about our lifestyle someday, but how is that different than a same sex couple having to discuss their lifestyle to adoptive or biological children. The chains are only things the children see from our relationship everything else is kept in the bedroom. She does not call me master: "honey" or "sweetie" are her titles of respect for me.



I disagree vehemently with the statement that discussing your lifestyle with the kids is similar to what gay parents would do. That's for another topic though.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 1:58:56 PM   
breagha


Posts: 380
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		i am sorry that you feel this got off track. there were other legitimate questions ( not that the concerns other presented were invalid ) that pertain to the original question that i personally would like answered. i'm curious...

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 2:02:32 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


I disagree vehemently with the statement that discussing your lifestyle with the kids is similar to what gay parents would do.


I agree.

I will also say that if a child goes to school and says "Both my parents are boys" it will get a much different reaction than "My Mommy is chained up".


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 2:17:01 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


I disagree vehemently with the statement that discussing your lifestyle with the kids is similar to what gay parents would do.


I agree.

I will also say that if a child goes to school and says "Both my parents are boys" it will get a much different reaction than "My Mommy is chained up".



My thoughts as well.

BTW, when I read what your Goddaughter said, I thought it was hysterical! Out of the mouths of babes.....

In the OP's case, since she is a stay at home mom, good chance the children are not going to be in school until kindergarten, so no need to worry about them telling their friends...yet.

However, it won't take long before the kids wonder why mommy takes off her "jewelry" before going to the store or other public places where her chains would be questioned.

To the OP, giving birth isn't about dominance or submission, and personally, I think to have a need to make it so is indicative of someone who isn't capable of thinking of their children's best interests before their own lifestyle choices. Of course, further evidence is her being in chains during the day, and no, they are not like necklaces, bracelets or anklets. Had you said she had a collar, cuffs or ankle cuffs, I would have thought little of it. There is a difference and it is sad neither of you can see it.

Comparing your wife wearing chains in front of the children to homosexual partners with children is just pure ignorance.

I hope the birth goes well and you have a healthy child who isn't faced with a lifetime of psychological trauma from the parents' behavior.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 2:19:50 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I'm a dom female. I personally dislike a lot what I have seen or heard about in the world of M/f. However, this one doesn't seem especially bad to me. If it's her idea and not dangerous, then I do not see what is so over the line about it.

The op never said that other children will be witnessing the birth. Will it be memorialized on video?

By the way, I once expressed outrage in a thread over the idea of exposing children to their parents' bdsm practices. I got very little backup and more than a little opposition.


I don't recall the thread to be honest, but I have been in and out a lot lately. I can tell you that I certainly would not have opposed your position and would have backed you up. I see no problem with a submissive partner calling the dominant one "ma'am" or "sir" although "Master" and "Mistress" are not easily explained to impressionable minds. Children should not be the least bit aware of mommy and daddy's kinks at any time, except perhaps when they are adults.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 2:24:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Have you figured out how you're going to sterilize the chains afterward? Because that will need to be done. And please, boiling them in a soup pot is just nasty.

Although right now this might seem cool, I'm betting she'll change her mind during.

And I'm also curious as to what will happen when the kids mention that mommy's chained up all day. Highly inappropriate.

Ours see him make decisions, like no brussel sprouts, or me not driving if it's getting toward dusk. Or me being sent to bed early and them being told to be quiet.

They don't see anything sexual.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 2:41:02 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wintermaster

My wife/slave is pregnant with our third child. We had hospital births with our other children and are going with a home birth this time. She wants to have this baby fully chained (ankles and wrists) as she says that this will allow her to express her submissive/slave side and provide a unique aspect to the experience. After searching the internet, I am starting to believe that it is a truly unique experience since there are no testimonials that I could find except of prison inmates. The birth is several months off, and we have talked with our midwife about it. The midwife is very supportive (she is a big advocate in individualizing birth plans) and says that she had no safety concerns since the chains will be able to be removed easily. I am writing in this forum because I wanted the point of view of the feelings of a slave/submissive on this desire of hers (she would not post a question like this herself). Is there anyone with this kind of experience? Thank you


Other than to say I think its never appropriate to expose minors to the kinky side of their parents lives, I will leave the children out of my response.

Medically... wow. Ok. Chains attached to ankles and wrists. Why does she, or you, feel this will add to the slave experience? There are many reasons I can think of why you shouldnt.

Chemical reactions/skin abrasions. While maybe a turn on for some... during labor when she is already in pain?

Everything may go fine... but what if it doesnt? Are you both prepared for the scrutiny at the hospital should she have to go? Yes, its consensual. That wont stop the questions into your personal life once the marks and noticed.

Giving birth is already an uncomfortable process, even with drugs. Why add to that discomfort? Wouldnt her concentration be better spent on the life she is bringing into this world than the chafing at her wrists and ankles?

The noise will be very distracting. Part of the benefit of a home birth is a calm, relaxing atmosphere. Really, if you want to go this route, soft restraints would be so much better.

However, you are in charge. This is your home, your slave, your life. Personally, you should make the decision to forgo this idea.

She wants to have this baby fully chained (ankles and wrists) as she says that this will allow her to express her submissive/slave side and provide a unique aspect to the experience.

Just because she wants doesnt mean she should get.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 3:05:12 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Get a new midwife and right now. Just the sanitation issues alone should be sufficient for a medical ill-advisement.

And this is a totally serious question unrelated to the question you posed, OP. When the wife is at home in chains all day, are you home or does she have a key? Not only is this far from appropriate for little eyes, it is wrecklessly unsafe. A sudden accident with a child, a fire, an intruder.... heaven only knows and she can't freely and quickly reach the children and escape whatever. You sincerely don't see the issue here?

She wants these things. They are in the best interest of no one. Exercise your dominance and simply tell her no. Please.

SD

< Message edited by SacredDepravity -- 3/21/2013 3:08:16 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 3:36:00 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		SacredDepravity makes some fair points. There are some laws out there that call for fair care of others; even the S&M community has to consider them if we're going be sane in the bedroom per-se. Fire marshals can arrest (not only the police) for questionable conditions.

Having said that ...

Humanity has survived over 3 million years on this planet. it has only been in the last 5,000 years that living conditions have played a greater roll in our survival as a animal (yes folks we are animals). Home birthing can probably still be done. let's use our brains here not our stupidity.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to SacredDepravity)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:15:30 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


I disagree vehemently with the statement that discussing your lifestyle with the kids is similar to what gay parents would do.


I agree.

I will also say that if a child goes to school and says "Both my parents are boys" it will get a much different reaction than "My Mommy is chained up".



I know this is a serious subject, but this made me lol

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:16:00 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Get a new midwife and right now. Just the sanitation issues alone should be sufficient for a medical ill-advisement.


I dont see it as a sanitation issue. Home births are not sanitary as we think of them in the hospital. Ever seen a bath tub delivery?

New chains and restraints would take care of any sanitation issue. Beyond that, they would be no less sanitary than the bath water or the bed sheets.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to SacredDepravity)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:21:49 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Home birth I have no particular issue with. My issue is with the residues and dirt from the chains along with what new accumulations may occur in the birthing process. Chain is not the easiest thing to thoroughly clean quickly. That is the ill-advisement I meant. Sorryif it wasn't clear before.

As an aside, I am not a proponent of the "it's all about the children now" mentality of child rearing. It gives children power within the home that they neither have a right to nor can handle. It's the inmates running the asylum, so to speak. I believe healthy kids begin and end with the healthiest possible parental unit and sometimes a child's "stuff" has to take at least a temporary back seat. I am required and want to do everything possible to meet my child's needs. Their wants or what society has turned into needs that are really just wants will have to wait more often than not. That all being said, I do believe birth really is all about the child...having the birthing process be as smooth, uncomplicated, healthy, and peaceful as possible. It is about their entry into this world and all that it means. It is a time for a family to bond together. It is not time for frivolous nonsense (not calling M/s and fetishes nonsense as such to be clear). At least for awhile, baby is pretty much the it person in the house. Most people get this. Let's get to reality here and take the kinky stuff out of it. This is about healthy mother and baby, bringing a new member into the family, and all the diapers and midnight feedings inbetween. Chains and feeling submission? You are getting ready to have a sweet, beautiful baby come into your life and forever change your world. Focus on that instead.

SD

(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:23:43 PM   
kalikshama


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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Sounds like an epic wank fantasy.


That was my thought as well.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:26:07 PM   
kalikshama


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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

As far as the appropriateness of exposing children to her bondage, she simply tells them that they are her jewelry that daddy gave her (no different than the ornate bracelets, necklaces and ankles that many women wear).


I was going to ask at what age she's going to stop wearing chains around the children but I guess the answer is she isn't. I find this disturbing.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 4:44:50 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		I am only commenting on the home birth part, not about the rest of it...

now...I do know that many homebirths go well...but....what if not?

Are you ready to live with the consequences if it does not go "according to plan?"

Now...I do not have children yet but as a kid I got to know a friend of my grandmum who had a home birth with her second child....and it went wrong....and the result of it was, that her boy had to live a heavily disabled life until he died aged 38...

Now...his parents cared for him enormously and he only had to live in a care home in his last years cause both his parents died before him...but still...I am sure he would have preferred to be able to talk, to walk, to use his hands etc....cause he could not do anything himself...

And of course, these were different times as some may say, but seriously, despite that being different times, "I" would not be willing to take that unneccessary risk...

Cause quite frankly, anything can go wrong whilst giving birth, no matter how many successful births you have done before...

And if anything goes wrong with the kid or your wife, YOU will have to live with it!!!

Of course you can think "why that much worry, after all it went well the last two times"...well...it obviously did, but again, if it goes wrong the life of your kid and your wife is at risk....and it is up to you two to decide if it is really worth it to take that risk...

I only know that if I would be a man, I would not want to be in a situation where my kid would ask me "why did mummy die during childbirth"...."well, kid....its cause mummy wanted to do a home birth because she wanted to be chained during your birth to show her submissiveness to me and then unfortunately there occured some problems and she received the appropriate help too late..."

And if anything goes wrong with the kid during birth? Well...I worked many years with disabled people and can do it....but I also do know many parents who can not cope with their kid, if it happens to have a disability....would you be able to cope with it???

Even more so, when you would know, that this would likely not have happened, if the kid would just have been born in the hospital...

Well...good luck to you three whatever you do....I do know that I am biased in that topic due to the friend of my granny...but I just think it is also important to consider that things can go terribly wrong, sometimes....that's just the beauty of it!

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 3/21/2013 4:53:00 PM >

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 5:12:54 PM   
agent0fchaos


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/31/2013
Status: offline 		As someone involved in the home birth and midwifery community, I have to wonder what this midwife is thinking signing off on this scenario.

Say something goes wrong. What's your backup plan? Are you prepared to go to the hospital in chains and face the inevitable questions? Most homebirths (and I believe all should) have a backup, emergency plan for if something happens, that usually involves going to a local birthing center or hospital. If something goes that wrong, the time that it takes to take off chains could very realistically be the difference between a positive and a negative outcome.

I support a woman's right to labor and give birth in the manner that suits her, but this pushes me because it gets into the realm of safety of the baby as well as the mom.

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 5:37:04 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		To comment on the home birth in chains only .... I had my first 2 babies at home with a midwife who had been delivering babies for over 30 years. My 3rd was also a planned home birth with the same midwife .. however, it didn't go as planned. She never would have signed off on this scenario. And had I been in chains during the birth of my 3rd child, I would have lost him and possibly me. He wound up being born by emergency c-section at the hospital less than 30 minutes after she determined he was "catty-corner breech". Had I so much as breathed hard, it would have been a disaster. Putting my child's birth and life before my submissiveness came first.

Me being submissive never entered our minds during their births. Our healthy, beautiful babies were the only things going through all our minds ... mine, my husband's (who was also my dom) and my midwife.

I would just say as her husband/dom, the health and safety of her and your baby would be first and foremost on your mind .. my thoughts only.

(in reply to agent0fchaos)
Profile   Post #: 40
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