Dreamless -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (4/23/2013 1:36:27 AM)
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact Often, the term condescending is very much used by those who don't deal well with strong personalities. Some people are more 'shoot from the hip' types, rather than being concerned if they are found "attractive" in what they have to say. I have met some people who are genuinely condescending, who know they're being that way, not anyone on this site. A specific person comes to mind who outright told me she thought she was better than x, y, and z people. At least when I'm criticizing condescending attitudes that's what comes to mind. She had a strong personality. She was also racist, ageist, sexist, and homophobic, and saying "oh she just has a strong personality" was absolutely no excuse for how she treated anyone who didn't fit her specific qualifications to be treated as a human being. It was ultimately treated as workplace bullying. While she wasn't out as kinky the way she talked about her husband, she ran the relationship and called all the shots, the sort of person I would consider very dominant, and meeting him, he was very submissive. Some types of negative attitudes shouldn't be dealt well with, though I'd like to stress that's something I haven't really run into here, as of yet. There's a difference between shoot from the hip don't care what ya think criticism and someone who truly thinks they're superior to the person they're dealing with and doesn't hide it one bit. Whether it's a dominant doing it or someone who's vanilla but alpha, I find it reeks of insecurity. Not giving a shit and an actual superiority complex feel slightly different. I would assume that not giving a shit is a fairly common dominant trait. But I'm also under the understanding that people with strong personalities who exist on the same planet as me without being ostracized for an utter lack of empathy are still entirely capable of being polite and rationalizing when and where they should reel things in. As has already been said, there's something to be said for treating the person handling your food like a human being. I have seen very little behavior that's really truly superiority complex driven here. Constructive criticism? Totally different ballpark. For the most part I've found it to be a relatively relaxed site and I've never thought any less of the neighborhood doms and dommes for humoring newbie questions. Maybe I'm just missing out on all the real drama?
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